How to Avoid Debut

༺ How To Avoid Debut – 14 ༻

 

  “You’ve worked hard, huff.” 

 

  Gaon, who was giving his final greetings, was panting before he could let out all of his breath. Practice had again only ended past midnight. 

 

  I was too weary to even get up, let alone muster the strength to go out, when I received a call from my brother, who had told me to contact him once I debuted. Seeing the footage must have shocked him. I barely managed to raise my body, went outside, and answered the call. 

 

  The outside was empty except for the staff, either everyone had finished practicing and gone, or they hadn’t come out yet. 

 

  -Hey, you said you’d appear?

 

  His incredulous voice came over as soon as I answered. I did appear. Parts of me like my foot or hair could be found here and there if one were to look closely. 

 

  “I was in the morning segment.”

 

-SurviverID? This isn’t you, right? I even asked my colleague twice because I couldn’t see you no matter how hard I looked. But he said it was you. Did you by any chance get eliminated? I just watched the first two episodes in succession. Why are there so many people? They all look the same, I can’t even tell who’s who. Are you even in there? Can you hear me?

 

  –My brother always spat out what he wanted to say like this. I was momentarily lost in disappointment, watching him conclude on his own that I had been eliminated. How could his thoughts move so fast.

 

  “If you want to see me, watch the third episode. I appear briefly there.” 

 

   – “Hey, what kind of show doesn’t show the participants until the third episode? Are they messing around?” 

 

  “It’s a product of my uncle’s hard work and countless trips to Starbucks. He’ll be sad if you talk about it like that.” 

 

  – “Are you saying I can’t find you because I have no affection for my little brother? Even in the top-tier edit he made with all those Starbucks sacrifices?”

 

  “That’s because my uncle asked for it, ah. Wait a second, hyung.”

 

  Suddenly. Just as I was about to bring up the thing I had forgotten to say in the morning, the practice room door swung open roughly. 

 

  Seongwon and Jigu appeared side by side. My voice automatically faded. The atmosphere suggested they were ready for a full-on confrontation. Seeing their obviously unfavorable mood, I rolled my eyes around before unilaterally notifying my brother. 

 

  “I’ll call you back later. Preferably tomorrow morning.” 

 

-Hey, I haven’t finished speaking yet! Finish the conversation before hanging up!

 

  My brother urgently requested that I let him finish his statement, but I ended the call without hesitation.

 

  The place the two silently arrived at was a narrow alleyway between buildings. I had no   intention of eavesdropping, not even slightly. Still, I worried that if Seongwon threw another punch, I would be stuck, so I couldn’t bring myself to leave. 

 

  “I don’t want to get involved anymore, so let’s stop.” 

 

  “What? I just miss our youngest.” 

 

  Under the dim street lamp, Seongwon’s face was definitely smiling. Seeing his relaxed face, laughing as if he had claimed the high ground, my breath naturally eased. 

 

  He was so serious earlier, and now suddenly, he was laughing like that. 

 

  “Why am I the youngest one there?” 

 

  “Exactly. Hey, are you jealous? Do you wish you had debuted then?” 

 

  “I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me. It was all over when I left the agency.” 

 

  “Because I didn’t want to debut with you. Why are you here after kicking out a perfectly good opportunity? You said you couldn’t handle it, right? Then why are you here, stirring up emotions?” 

 

  The words he uttered while pressing his forehead with his index finger was absurd. What kind of nonsense is that? Isn’t that just them telling me to leave because they don’t want to see me? 

 

  I didn’t know the details, but even hearing that much made my mouth drop open. Even an elementary school kid wouldn’t make such a selfish statement. 

 

  “I left because I couldn’t stand to be there for even one more second. But I’ll continue with my music.” 

 

  “Is that so?” 

 

  “I don’t care that you’re still friendly with everyone there. But I am curious about who took over the sponsorship. In the end, who did it?” 

 

  After finishing his rather harsh words, Jigu adjusted his bag and turned to walk the other way. After a few hollow laughs, Seongwon approached the entrance on my side. 

 

  As I quickly hid my body behind a car nearby, he seemed to not notice. He checked around a few times with his phone in hand, then started walking while making a call somewhere. I had no desire to eavesdrop further, so I crouched quietly, rising only much later. 

 

  My head was throbbing. What should I do about this? It didn’t seem like a light conversation I could easily digest, which naturally made me serious.

 

  Considering the sponsor was brought up, it didn’t seem like a simple level of discord. It seemed that their entanglement was worse than the earphones just taken out of my pocket. As a member of the same team, I couldn’t separate them. It was a night where the troubles of being a leader, forced upon me, deepened further. 

 

  “Ah, my head is a mess.” 

 

  The expressions of the two people I saw earlier wouldn’t leave me, so I dropped by a convenience store and bought a cup of coffee. I tried it thinking I could handle the bitterness, but it was more bitter than expected and I ended up throwing it away halfway. 

 

  In the end, I still couldn’t understand why people drink coffee as the last day of practice dawned. 

 

  The two of them were quieter than expected. The problem was that their silence felt like the calm before the storm. Compared to the other team members who didn’t pay much attention, I was bothered by every minor current flowing between the two. 

 

  The impact of yesterday’s conversation was too significant. I should’ve just made an excuse to my older brother and gone home instead of poking my nose into it. As tomorrow was the filming day, practice was carried out collectively. 

 

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” 

 

  “No! It was my mistake……” 

 

  As a result of such collective practice, accidents of collision occurred one after another. 

 

  We should’ve increased group practice earlier. Everyone was decent at the movements and the song, but our paths kept overlapping. We bumped into each other while moving back and forth, the gap between us was too narrow causing us to hit each other’s arms. It felt like the mirror occupying one side of the wall was screaming for immediate attention. 

 

  “The dance and song are fine. But we need to memorize the routes again.” 

 

  With a bitter smile saying this stage would be the last, Hwiyoung nodded and came to my side. For the sake of him, if not anyone else, we couldn’t leave the stage in the worst condition. 

 

  This might be our last chance for a miracle. Suddenly, a sense of responsibility I never felt before started growing rapidly, causing me to instinctively move. 

 

  “Gaon, can you step back a bit?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

  “When you come out rapping, just twist your body a little. Hwiyoung, you move further to the left.” 

 

  In the end, he stepped outside alone and adjusted each person’s path one by one. He poured all his energy into the map, thinking they would have to adjust it on their own later. He wasn’t a trainer, and it would be understandable if they were annoyed by his constant instructions, but thankfully, everyone obediently followed along. 

 

  Seongwon also devoted himself to the practice without any of the violent tendencies he had shown twice before, like deliberately bumping into Jigu or anything like that. Thanks to that, the chaotic line from earlier was somewhat neatly aligned in no time. 

 

  “Wow, it seems like it’s working now.” 

 

  “Great job, team leader!” 

 

  “It was nothing. Let’s practice a few more times and then go home. We need to take care of our condition until tomorrow.” 

 

  Whether they finished a bit earlier than other groups or not, the room next door was still noisy. The main camera, which had been on for days, finally turned off, and the small cameras installed here and there were all collected. 

 

  As I left the set, I glanced at my uncle who was having a serious conversation with a stranger, pretended not to notice, and called a taxi. 

 

  [Arrival in about 10 minutes] 

 

  Receiving a response that it would take about 10 minutes, I logged onto the farm game after a long time. The tomatoes I had planted about three days ago were beautifully ripe, showing off their red color, asking to be harvested. After harvesting all the crops and planting new seeds, there was nothing left to do. 

 

  Speaking of which, my brother, who had asked me to call in the morning, hadn’t contacted him. Wondering if he was upset because I hung up without saying anything, I was about to send a text message when something fell in front of my eyes. 

 

“What’s with these earphones…” 

 

“They’re yours.” 

 

As soon as I picked up the tangled earphones, a familiar voice came from above my bowed head. Jigu, whose presence was unknown for how long, was quietly looking down. 

 

Whether he didn’t give off a presence, or whether I was too dull to feel it, our eyes met as I handed back the earphones. 

 

“Hey, you.” 

 

“Yes?”  

 

  Now that I looked at him, his eyes were slightly swollen. I didn’t notice it because he had been wearing a hat and practicing all day. It wasn’t severe, but it was noticeable. Had he cried himself to sleep last night? Just seeing his swollen eyes made me worried, even without knowing the exact facts. 

 

  “There’s a cream for swollen eyes.” 

 

  “Yes.” 

 

  “Don’t cry.” 

 

   After imparting some useless knowledge and offering a brief consolation, I quickly folded myself into a taxi that conveniently arrived. While I was giving the driver my home address, I kept looking out the window. I saw Jigu’s lips start to move slightly. As I began to lower the window, thinking he might have been moved, Jigu casually rubbed his eyes with his right hand and spoke. 

 

  “I guess my eyes swelled up because I had ramen before bed last night.” 

 

“…….”

 

  “Thank you for your concern.” 

 

  The taxi abruptly took off as Jigu, his previously expressionless face transformed into a bright smile, waved his hand. A wave of embarrassment washed over me instantly. 

 

* * * 

 

  As soon as I arrived home, I changed my clothes and climbed into bed with a 500-page novel. It was a book I had put down because it was boring, and there was nothing better to help me fall asleep quickly. 

 

  As I was confronted with the first page for the fifth time, I felt sleep creeping up on me. Thinking that its effect was great, I slowly blinked my eyes and buried myself deeper into the blanket. 

 

  I was awoken from sleep by the persistent ringing of the doorbell. The only person who was expected to visit was my uncle. Sure enough, I checked my phone, which was on silent, and found three missed calls. 

 

  He decided to visit just because I didn’t answer the phone. I knew that in about 30 seconds, he would be knocking on the door with his sturdy fist. I forced myself out of the blanket and unlocked the door. 

 

  “It’s an unexpected combination.” 

 

  Standing next to my uncle, who appeared to have come straight after work still in his earlier outfit, was my older brother whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. 

 

  “He suddenly called me. He said he was coming since I’m visiting your place.” 

 

  “Why are you looking at me like that? Can’t a brother visit his younger sibling’s house?” 

 

  “It’s not that you can’t, but it would be nice if you didn’t.” 

 

  Eventually, I ushered the two men into the living room and gave up the only narrow sofa. The sight of two robust adult men squeezed onto it was so burdensome that Isuggested they just sit on the floor.  

 

  My uncle subtly slid down onto the floor and moved closer, while my brother discarded his suit jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves as he walked to the refrigerator. 

 

  “Hey. It’s too much to only have water. Don’t you have any alcohol?” 

 

  “Why would someone who has to go to work tomorrow be looking for alcohol?” 

 

  “You can use a vacation day.”  

 

  “Who uses a vacation day for a hangover?” 

 

  With a sense of regret, my brother started boiling water in a pot for ramen. myuncle kept his mouth shut until my brother had put the noodles and soup in the boiling water. 

 

 “Why did you come?” 

 

  “We’re planning to hold an event where viewers can request what they want to see from the participants on the viewer board. The form will open at midnight today.” 

 

  My uncle started talking with something that clearly wasn’t the main point. 

 

  “We’ve identified a few anticipated requests, and there are already some that make us anxious. There might even be cases where the form crashes.” 

 

  “They’ll probably ask us to play games or show personal skills. Oh, I don’t have any personal skills.” 

 

  “We’ll pick group activities as much as possible, even for your sake. Or do you want to try a personal skill that would make fans leave? You can’t rap. How about trying a rap that’s completely unacceptable?” 

 

  It seemed as though my uncle’s spirit had momentarily left his body. As evidence, he kept looking at the wall behind him as he spoke. Unable to hold back an involuntary sigh, I asked my uncle directly. 

 

  “What’s the problem?” 

 

  “Well… it’s more of an opportunity than a problem. A proposal came from the music broadcast division of our station. Since we’re getting a lot of buzz these days, they suggested setting up a stage for us.” 

 

  “A music broadcast?” 

 

  “We can do promotions, get on music shows, and draw in viewers. Besides, this is a new song, so if the reaction is good, we’re thinking about recording it.” 

 

  The longer his uncle spoke, the more convoluted his words became. His gaze also started to drift to strange places. 

 

  “So the conclusion is that the stakes have gotten incredibly high.” 

 

  “…That’s right. But I don’t have the choice to decide on whether to appear or not. What should… we do? The music broadcast is scheduled for about two weeks from now.“ 

 

  Seeing my uncle’s awkward smile, it seemed he was well aware. That he couldn’t afford to be eliminated, even with this final edit. 

 

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