༺ How To Avoid Debut – 15 ༻

  “If it really gets to the worst-case scenario, I’ll get you off the show somehow, maybe just before the finale, or something like that…” 

  My uncle made a scissors-like motion with two fingers of his right hand. My brother, who was bringing a pot of ramen, put it on the ground as if he had remembered something and clapped his hands. 

  “Uncle, is he really going to be on that program?” 

  “Yes. I asked him to.” 

  “Is he really on it? I watched the first and second episodes.” 

  “Huh?” 

  “What was that chopping gesture just now? Don’t tell me you’re intentionally cutting out all of his scenes? I was wondering why he’s not appearing anywhere. Why are you blocking a kid who’s trying hard? Are you worried that people will accuse the PD of biased editing?” 

  Without listening to the response, my brother, once again, just pushed forward with his argument. Uncle made a pained expression, struggling to explain. 

  “No, I’m just going to cut out this mission!” 

 

  I climbed onto the narrow couch alone, a pathetic scene that seemed unlikely to end soon. 

  Was he really doing this against his will, or did he just not have the courage to continue with his music? 

  Whether it was the former or the latter, the fact that I wasn’t certain marked the beginning of this futile endeavour. Honestly, if he wanted to quit, he could have adamantly refused, regardless of Uncle’s circumstances or the show’s image. The voices of my uncle and brother resounded loudly in my troubled mind. 

  While I was lost in thought, Uncle and my brother had a good time. With the proverb “If you draw a sword, you must cut something,” my brother enjoyed himself in his younger brother’s empty apartment until after midnight, and then he left. And my Uncle was practically dragged out the front door by my brother. 

  The house that quickly became quiet provided an environment for even deeper thought, and eventually, I fell into a shallow sleep after tossing and turning. 

* * * 

  The set, which I arrived at early in the morning, was unusually bustling. The stage that had been used for the first mission was now waiting for the contestants, a little more lavishly decorated. They said individual cams would be posted, so it seemed to take extra care. 

  I entered the makeup room to have my makeup done again after a long time. The number of contestants had decreased, and while I was leisurely getting my makeup done, none of the people from our group showed up. 

  “Excuse me.” 

   “…….”

  “Excuse me. What are you thinking about so deeply?” 

  The one who forcefully summoned me back to the real world, while I was sitting in a chair lost in thought after my makeup was done, was Yejun. He had arrived unnoticed, his makeup already done, waving at me with a bright smile. It felt as familiar as coming out of the front door and running into a neighbor. 

  I wondered why, but I figured it was because he looked just like a student going to the library to study, in his natural state. He even wore horn-rimmed glasses, which made him look even more different, clearly a fashion statement. 

  “You’re looking at my slippers quite intently. Are you envious?” 

  “No, not at all.” 

  “This jersey is also my favorite. If you keep looking at it like that, it’s a bit…” 

  “Is it by any chance your stage costume…?” 

  “No way. I heard our costumes are suits.” 

  Yejun made a motion of adjusting a nonexistent tie on his simple black jersey. I just nodded a few times in response. Then I realized it was a group performance, why had I thought everyone would bring and wear their own clothes, when a stylist would obviously be involved. 

  “It seems like you’re bored. Do you want to chat with me for a while?” 

  I thought a short conversation would be okay, so I nodded. Yejun said he knew a place, and we headed for a rather secluded area, where there was a single bench awkwardly placed. 

  “I wonder why this is here.” 

  “I’m not sure. Maybe it’s a prop that wasn’t put away, or maybe it’s here for people to rest.” 

  Thinking the latter was certainly not the case, I hesitantly sat on the bench. Yejun, following my lead, plonked down beside me, leaning back against the wall with enough force to make a thud. 

  Frankly, we weren’t close, so I hesitated to strike up a conversation, but fortunately, Yejun, lowering his zipper that had been zipped up to his neck, opened his mouth first. 

  “Did you finish your practice well?” 

  “More or less, good enough for filming. How about you? Did Jun follow along well?”

 

  “As soon as he came in through the door, he asked me to teach him the dance, calling me a handsome brother.” 

  “He’s sociable, isn’t he?” 

  “I nearly broke my back teaching him. My back is my life.” 

  Despite his grumbling, Yejun, who never forgot to let out a hearty laugh, really seemed like a neighborhood big brother. Unlike his mature-looking impression, there didn’t seem to be anything lacking about him. 

  “But they said you kept insisting on having fewer parts.” 

  “Yes.” 

  “Is there a reason? Even if you want to stand out, you wouldn’t want to be overlooked, right?” 

  The eyes beyond his thick glasses were subtly peering at me. He had an expression as if he knew everything, even though he clearly wouldn’t, which nearly made me stammer. 

  “I’m just more comfortable that way.” 

  “Really? Are you really here because you want to become an idol?” 

  “… I’m not sure why you’re asking me that.” 

  The question was so sharp that I wondered if this person had also joined just to fill a spot, perhaps due to my uncle. His tone was so confident, as if he knew that I had no passion for this program, it left me with a dry mouth. 

  I swallowed slowly, choosing my words. The sentence-making skills that had once been praised were already long gone. I couldn’t even think of a simple excuse.  

  “You can relax your face, I’m not hitting you. But why are you so surprised? Am I too on point?” 

  As I was seriously cranking my brain, Yejun suddenly laughed, knocking on the wall. As Yejun laughed refreshingly like the protagonist of a sports drama, my expression hardened. Whether he was teasing me or whether he knew something, I couldn’t figure out his ambiguous attitude. Just as my mouth corners were about to droop down, Yejun stopped laughing. 

  “You can tell just by looking.” 

  “Do I give that much away?” 

  “Who in the world would yield parts when they’re dying to debut? You stand out even more because you’re among desperate kids. And I noticed quickly because I’m in a similar situation.” 

  It was only after Yejun’s meaningful words that something popped in my head. Ah, if there was another stand-in, they should have told me. 

  “Are you also a producer, Yejun?”

  “I’m originally a rapper.” 

  “Excuse me?” 

  “A producer?” 

  “No, I misspoke.” 

  A rapper? What a surprising twist. When I hastily retracted my words about the producer and sent him a look requesting a more accurate explanation, Yejun lightly dusted off the back of his head and leaned even further against the wall.

  “I was a rapper by profession and I still am. I’ve released several tracks, and you know the program that featured rappers last year? I participated in that too.” 

  “Oh, I think I’ve heard about it.” 

  I hadn’t seen it nor did I even know such a program existed, but I just pretended to know. But Yejun, who seemed not to care whether or not I’d seen the program, continued to speak. 

  “I was pretty confident in myself. I had pride. I fought a lot with my parents and finally managed to do it. Oh, that doesn’t mean I was a stubborn freeloader. I went to college too.”  

   “You’re quite diligent.” 

  “Thank you for the compliment. But why do you think I came here?” 

  He suddenly threw a question at me as I was obediently listening to his past. After some thought prompted by his engaging way of speaking, I gave an answer. 

  “To transition to being an idol rapper?” 

  “That’s not entirely wrong. Someone in the news article comments suggested that I should be an idol instead of a rapper with such good looks. You can guess how much it affected me, as here I am.” 

  Could it be? As I slowly raised my eyes that had been fixed on the floor, his face spun into a broad smile. 

  “Somebody wanted to see me as an idol, and that comment got 514 likes, so I decided to grant their wish. And once I actually started, it wasn’t bad.” 

  So, the conclusion was that he impulsively decided to participate. All the remaining words that flowed in succession were unnecessary add-ons. Despite his impulsive participation, Yejun didn’t seem as listless as I was. According to Jun, he was practicing passionately and even secured a good rap part. 

  “If your life is all about rap, can you try your best? You have a high rank, you might actually debut.” 

  “Life is all about trying different things. I’m not trying to debut dishonestly. I’m competing fairly.” 

  “That’s true but…” 

  “You don’t have to yield parts either, Hahyun. The rumors are that you’re an angel without wings among the participants. Life is a journey, and this is something you can try, right?” 

  Yejun, who coolly gave an answer I hadn’t even considered, checked his phone momentarily and got up, saying it seemed like the other members had arrived. I clumsily got up too, but my steps were off as my mind struggled to return to reality. 

  I was following his long strides when Yejun, as if suddenly remembering something, turned around and hit his palm with his fist. 

  “Not all idol hopefuls are here because they love to dance or sing. It’s a field where half of the motivation is money and the other half is attention.” 

  Yejun, who casually mentioned this reality, headed to the waiting room alone. I stood there, stunned for a moment, then quickly composed myself and followed him. 

  The waiting room was now crowded with people, a stark contrast to before. I quickly changed into the clothes the stylist handed me and found the place where the members were gathered. 

  Everyone was crammed into the tiny waiting room, expressing their discomfort, and the staff were frantically preparing for the shoot outside. In this chaotic situation inside and out, I was fixing my shirt when a bottle of water was suddenly thrust in front of me. 

  “You might get thirsty.” 

  A bit awkwardly, Jigu, who had handed over the water bottle, started checking the choreography again, pretending not to notice my gaze. 

  Suddenly, I felt embarrassed. Then I remembered what I had said before getting into the taxi yesterday, and I felt even more awkward. I had told him not to cry because his face was swollen from eating ramen. He must have found that amusing. 

  Recalling a forgotten memory, I stomped on the floor a few times. Of course, I kept a straight face as if the noise wasn’t coming from me. 

  “We’re starting the shoot.” 

  The participants crowded in the waiting room rushed out onto the set. I was seeing the stage for the second time, but the intimidation was different, and I was slightly surprised. Even though it was a stage for many to ascend, I was more nervous than before.

  “It’s one take, there are no retakes if you make mistakes. Group 1 will start.” 

  Watching several large cameras moving in the air, I thought it really felt like a music show. This is what idols see every day. The stages had been large even when I participated in dance competition shows, but the scale was definitely different now. There were many more cameras than during the first mission. 

  I saw a lot while Groups 1, 2, and 3 went by at a breakneck speed. Some made choreography mistakes, some had pitch issues. Seeing stages ending with various mistakes being made, I couldn’t help but sigh in pity. 

  In a few hours, Episode 4, which only contains our practice, will be broadcasted, and at midnight, the footage of this stage will be uploaded on the website. I didn’t want to make a mistake and create a video that would torment me forever. 

  “Group 4, get ready. You’ll go on stage after a quick clean-up.” 

  “Ah, I’m so nervous, I think I might fall…” 

  Hwiyoung stumbled over his words as he frantically retied his shoelaces. 

  Clap, clap. Seeing all the members acting flustered, I clapped once. Jigu, who was drinking water, and Sungwon, who had been staring at the floor, both looked my way. 

  “Just do as we practiced. If you mess up after asking me so many questions, deal with it yourselves.” 

  I tried to lighten the mood, but seeing everyone’s expressions darken, I realized I might have said something unnecessary. 

  “…It was a joke.” 

  Just as I added those timid words, the call to go on stage came. After making eye contact with my uncle once, I got up on stage, and it ended reasonably well. Everyone had managed their parts without any major mistakes, so I thought we could give ourselves about a 90 points out of 100. 

  “Ah, I messed up a step in the middle earlier. Ugh, I wish I could turn back time.” 

  As soon as we came off the stage, Gaon started tearing his hair out, admitting he made a mistake. Seeing his regret, Hwiyoung let out a small laugh, seeming to relax. 

  I, with my still impassive face, took the water bottle that Jigu offered and looked over at the staff. Catching my gaze, my uncle showed me a thumb up, smiling brighter than anyone else in the world. 

  “Uh, did you see that? Him giving the thumbs up?” 

  “Looks like we did okay!” Listening to the excited voices, I found myself wondering. Why are they happy that we did well? 

  #FanReaction  

[FreeBoard] Anyone who applied for the form posted on the SurvivalID board????? 

  I just narrowly submitted the form, who the hell only opens such form for just one hour^^^^ I don’t think mine will be chosen but I wrote I wanted to see the kids playing the Cleopatra game Lmfao what did everyone else write they want to see??? Curious!  

  Comments [171] 

└ Give Hahyun more screen time, damn it. 

└ 22222 

└ 33 I thought I was the only one 

└ Crazy, you wrote exactly the same thing as me, minus the damn it 

└ What did you write? 

└ Give Hahyun more screen time, damn it 

└ That’s the same thing lol 

└ I wrote that I want to see them using V-App!! It would be so fun if they broadcast it liveㅠ 

└ Wow, I want to see that too 

 

└ It might be hard for all 26 of them to participate, but I’d love to see itㅠ 

└ I wrote they should all wear school uniforms, sorry^^ 

└ That sounds good? 

└ I wrote suits lmao 

└ They should try both and take picturesㅠ 

└ I wrote that they should be sent to a PC room.. I’m curious about what games my kid plays and I also want to see them hanging outㅠ 

└ I bet my favorite will play some high-end game lfmao 

└ I expect my kid to be a gaming noob^^.. The only game he ever played was KartRider.. 

└ That’s Seongwon lol cute KartRider fanㅠ 

└ I wrote they should release the B-cut profile pictures

└ Damn, that’s a good idea 

└ I want to see the B-cutㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 

└ A desperate wish from a passing Hahyun fan,, If the B-cut is released, it will be like having two promotional photos^^! 

└ Stop trying to evoke sympathy with that pitiful toneㅠ 

└ Why are you saying something? It’s a fact 

└ Right, if they release the B-cut, we can set different photos for lock screen & wallpaper 

  [FreeBoard] SurvivalID Episode 4 Flame War Here@@@@@@ 

  Came here to fan the flames again today, let’s run hard lol I deleted all rumors, sexual and violent comments. And no one might be curious but my favorite is Hahyun. Looking forward to his scenes in this episode after watching the Leader’s Sport. I’ll end the flame war if he doesn’t have any lines. Everyone, please wish for Hahyun’s lines while participating^^ 

  Comments 

└ Congratulations on your favorite getting lots of lines in this episode 

└ Wow, is it true that Hahyun got a lot of lines??? Amazing, I thought he was the only one appearing ;;; 

 

└ Did Hahyun get his solo camera time?? 

└ Damn lmfao don’t tease us with false hope like that kekw

└ I rushed into the flame war thinking it had started because I was at work, damn, I really thought he got a lot of lines because of you guys 

└ Let’s stop writing fiction 

└ Wondering if he’ll be left out in this episode too  

└ If he doesn’t have any lines, the flame war will be gone. Jung Sung, let’s do well 

└ I want to participate in the flame war set by the reliable leader Jung Sung ㅠㅠ 

└ Ah, chicken ad, damn, making me hungry?? 

└ If we’re gonna order anyway, let’s all order now and eat 

└ NOBLE is so handsome 

└ Damn, he’s really good-looking 

└ I was wondering why we were suddenly talking about NOBLE. It’s because of the ad rofl

└ NOBLE keeps doing hamburger ads 

└ I can’t decide between a hamburger and a pizza;;; 

└ Let’s eat what the handsome guys are promoting lol

└ —————– It starts as soon as the ad finishes ——————– 

└ He’s still doing that, he’s consistent kekw

└ You’ve got a lot of time, coming to the flame war from the first episode lmfao 

└ Hey, it’s starting guys 

└ Damn, I think I’m going to vomit, I’m too excited ;;;;; 

└ Was there any team sport content uploaded???????? 

└ Our Jigu is working hard today too……. His face is the best, so handsome….. 

 

└ His face is saving the earth 

└ There was a lot of team sport content, it’s always abundant^^.. 

└ I heard there was a random draw??????? 

└ Who drew teams randomly lmfao If they did, it would’ve been a mess 

 

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