How to Avoid Debut

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༺ How To Avoid Debut – 29 ༻

  

  The reason why I was sitting in a cafe, unable to go home, was simple. In the end, one by one, those who were swept away by Jun could not resist and boarded the cafe train, and I was caught in between. It was a talent to coax so unrelentingly. Yejun was more than willing to open his wallet for Jun.

 

  “Shall we not have a meeting?”

 

  “Let’s finish chewing what we’re eating first.”

 

  Yejun, who was only lightly tapping the table with his index finger, firmly pressed his hand against Jun’s lips, filled with honey bread.

 

  “We should conduct the meeting after finishing our meals.”

 

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  While the sound of crunching was echoing for a while, Hwiyoung cautiously put down the mobile phone he had been looking at for a while on the table.

 

  “I tried to find the music video, but I can’t locate it anywhere.”

 

  “The debut song of NOBLE?”

 

  “Yes. I checked the official NOBLE channel, but there are no music videos at all…”

 

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  Instead of just searching for the music video title, Hwiyoung was trying to find the official channel. So I found the music video for him, returned his phone, and explained.

 

  “The channel got hacked in the middle and all the videos were moved to the agency’s channel. The music video was deleted.”

 

  As I explained and sipped on the smoothie in front of me, I felt eyes on me and looked up. What met my gaze were the puzzled faces of Yejun and Jun, who was simply moving his mouth without showing any thought.

 

  “How do you know that, Hahyun? Was the news about NOBLE moving their channel that well-known?”

 

  “That’s a good question.”

 

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  Yejun lightly asked as if it was nothing, and Gaon also nodded in agreement, seeming to sense something strange. I didn’t realize that my thoughtless comment was digging my own grave. The news about NOBLE’s channel move was very trivial and useless for non-fans.

 

  “Little bit.”

 

  “There was a big fuss because of the YouTube channel hacking at that time.”

 

  I didn’t really want to admit that I had been a big fan of NOBLE, even to the point of disbanding, so I tried to gloss over it. But suddenly, an unexpected helping hand was extended from the side. Jigu, who had been silently sipping his cafe mocha until then, quickly chimed in with a tone that suggested ‘why don’t you know about such a famous incident?’.

 

  “Was it?”

 

  “It caused quite a stir.”

 

  Jigu’s laughing voice was oddly awkward. The statement that there was a big fuss was obviously a lie. That incident was specific to NOBLE, given that the fans wondered why they were hacked out of the blue, and even suggested that the hacker was an anti-fan.

 

   I had a strange feeling that he deliberately hid the fact that I was a fan. How would he know that? I sent him a suspicious look for a moment, realized my foolish act, and quickly retracted it. Even though Jigu was Taeyang’s younger brother, how could he know about my past fan life.

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  “The atmosphere is really nice. Even the choreography seems like a waltz.”

 

  Hwiyoung, who had plugged in his earphones and started watching the NOBLE music video, continuously expressed his admiration. The screen of his mobile phone that I glanced at showed the fresh-faced NOBLE of their early days. Their hairstyles, though appearing somewhat old-fashioned now, were captured.

 

  “Do you think I can pull this off? The original is too good.”

 

  “The choreography is also totally sharp, so it’s a bit challenging to follow.”

 

  Jun and Hwiyoung, who had chosen the NOBLE song, were full of praises while watching the video. As it was their debut song, the dance was rather intense and difficult, so it was natural for them to worry.

 

  “Senior.”

 

  As I just stared at the table, sucking on my smoothie, I heard a voice calling me from the side. The only person who used the strange title ‘Senior’ was Jigu, so I naturally turned my head to the left.

 

  “Why?”

 

  “Listen to this song.”

 

  The song I chose, called ‘FLY’, was playing from the music player on the mobile phone. He had one side of the earphone in his ear and offered the other side to me. I looked at his hand, and after a beat, I took it. After I plugged the earphone in, the refreshing piano accompaniment started to play about five seconds later.

 

  Not knowing where to look, I slightly closed my eyes and a scenery unfolded. It was a calm and refreshing song, something you would likely sing on a cool summer day.

 

  “This song is good.”

 

  “I also like this song.”

 

  Jigu agreed with my opinion as soon as the song finished. Judging by the fact that he had it liked and added to his streaming list, it seemed to be a song he liked.

 

  “I don’t usually listen to this kind of music.”

 

  “What kind of music do you like?”

 

  “I usually only listen when I’m practicing dance… So, dance music?”

 

  I came to brainstorm teaser ideas, but at some point, I got engrossed in a conversation about music with Jigu and completely forgot about the original purpose.

 

  I had no idea how many songs Jigu had listened to, but there were hardly any songs he didn’t know. He could immediately recognize even the calm pop songs I occasionally listened to on my way to and from school if I only mentioned the title, and he even recommended some songs when I said I didn’t know much about K-pop. He talked about them so well that I felt the need to listen to them myself.

 

  “You really like music.”

 

  “Yes. I like both listening to and singing.”

 

  Slowly tiring out from talking, he slowly rested his chin and closed his eyes. It’s truly hard for passion and skill to coexist, but Jigu seemed naturally gifted in this respect. He had a clear dream, and he was hardworking. Every time I saw him, his diligence was admirable.

 

  “Don’t you have any plans for college?”

 

  “Not really. That’s why I honestly have no idea what to do if this path doesn’t work out.”

 

  His weary smiling face was that of someone who had already experienced all kinds of hardships. I, too, had once experienced this kind of despair, so it was hard for me to bring up the topic. It’s hard to describe the feeling of coming across a cliff after persistently cultivating a single plot of land. The probability of finding fertile new land was very low, and there wasn’t enough time to cultivate a new barren land.

 

  “You just have to succeed on this path. You’re going to debut.”

 

  “I hope so.”

 

  After hearing the seemingly insignificant comfort, Jigu, who was smiling happily, got up and started tapping on his phone again. Seeing him type ‘Coffee in the Afternoon’ into the search bar, I also picked up my phone. I watched the original music video once, and searched for the music video’s interpretation on Naver. Although it wasn’t a popular song and there weren’t many posts, I searched thoroughly, even for the posts that were buried at the bottom.

 

  “How about wearing something slightly white? Or sky blue!”

 

  “The first part is calm, but the highlight is a high note, so it would be good to make it energetic.”

 

  The brainstorming session, which I thought would be a waste of time, turned out more positive than expected. Listening to each other’s mission songs and searching for music videos to provide general advice was very helpful. The A4 papers that Jigu carried around began to unfold one by one on the table, and countless black letters occupied the blank spaces.

 

  By the time I finished transferring what I had written on the paper to the notes on my phone, it was already dark outside the window.

 

  “We should wrap up now.”

 

  Hwiyoung glanced at the clock and started organizing the scattered papers. We must have worked hard, like a factory, to come up with ideas as every corner was filled with unnecessary content. Yejun also seemed to have the same thought, he picked up a paper and laughed lightly.

 

  “Who wrote ‘takes off the shirt and dances freely’ on my paper?”

 

  “That’s a perfect idea.”

 

  “It would be perfect with some fancy lighting.”

 

  “The view count would definitely skyrocket.”

 

  “But, since I don’t have six-pack abs, let’s pass.”

 

  At the joke written on the paper, Yejun responded with a playful comment and neatly folded the paper. As soon as we returned our finished drinks and stepped outside, the chilly air greeted us at the door. Perhaps because the cafe was warm, it felt suddenly colder.

 

  “We’re going this way to catch a bus.”

 

  “I’m going to take a taxi because I’m lazy.”

 

  Everyone started walking towards their own homes, leaving only me and Jigu in front of the now empty cafe. Should I hail a taxi? I could simply call a taxi, but Jigu standing quietly next to me made me nervous. I accidentally coughed when our eyes met as I sneakily glanced at him.

 

  “Cough. Aren’t you going home?”

 

  “Ah. I was looking for my card.”

 

  I thought he was standing still, but he was apparently looking for his card in his wallet. Impulsively, as I saw him pick up a neatly rectangular-shaped transit card, I pulled out my own from my phone case.

 

  “I’m also taking the subway.”

 

  “Then let’s go together.”

 

  I should have just called a taxi, why did I say I was taking the subway? As we walked side by side to the station and waited for the subway, I realized why. It was because I was anxious to send him home alone. No wonder, last time too, I wanted to escort him home as if he was my younger brother. I seemed to have completely forgotten that Jigu was a sturdy nineteen-year-old.

 

  “Your house is close.”

 

  “With your house, senior?”

 

  “Yes. Well, it’s near the school.”

 

  We got on the subway and spent a few dozens of minutes on unnecessary talk. The broadcasting station and my home were annoyingly far apart, and the subway was slow as it wasn’t an express.

 

  Finally, we arrived at the station near my home. The station was quiet. It was always crowded as it was connected to an underground shopping center, but given the time, it was empty except for a few people who had just arrived. As I walked toward the exit, I felt like something kept catching on my foot; my shoelace was untied.

 

  “Just a moment.”

 

  “Okay.”

 

  While I stopped in front of a pillar to tie my shoelace, Jigu stood quietly beside me waiting. It was just at that moment when I had swiftly and neatly tied my sneaker lace.

 

  “Park Hahyun.”

 

  Someone called out my name. Jigu had no reason to call my name desperately, so it must have been someone else.

 

  “Who…?”

 

  I turned around in surprise, and what caught my eyes was a jacket with the Korea National University of Arts logo. The distinctly embossed pink logo on the chest was so unique that it was instantly recognizable.

  “That’s right.”

 

Jung Inchul, with whom I briefly exchanged glances in mid-air, came towards us in big strides. Judging by the lack of anyone around, he seemed to be alone.

 

  “You’re appearing on TV these days, aren’t you?”

 

  “Oh, hello.”

 

  I wasn’t in a good mood seeing a face I hadn’t seen since graduation, but the most annoying thing was his deliberately flapping university jacket. I was curious why he was pretending to know me when our relationship had clearly not been good. Moreover, I didn’t have time to engage in a conversation, as I was not alone now.

 

  “I’m busy right now.”

 

  “Ah, hello. May I have a moment of your time to chat?”

 

  I subtly emphasized that I was with someone by glancing at Jigu, but Inchul, oblivious to my hint, even asked for my consent. I gave him a look suggesting I was busy, but Jigu seemed oblivious and nodded in agreement.

 

  “Everyone was wondering what you were up to, and then all of a sudden you pop up on screen preparing to become an idol. We were all surprised.”

 

  The smile that surfaced on his face was clearly a mockery. Starting idol training after quitting dance? It sounded so annoying that I thought I was having auditory hallucinations.

 

  “We’re having a reunion at the end of the year, and the guys said we should invite you too.”

 

  I stood up straight from my hunched position as his subtly condescending gaze annoyed me. Finally, our eye levels matched. I wanted to leave as quickly as possible, unsure what kind of nonsense he might start to blabber, especially in Jigu’s presence.

 

  “I can’t make it, so have fun.”

 

  “You still don’t like seeing their faces?”

 

  As I turned and started walking towards the exit, the nonsensical remark I had worried about came from behind. True to his character as a person who had topped the entrance exam to the Korea National University of Arts dance department, his acting was top-notch. It was a very nice question, I thought. But I was not as drained as before to stand there and listen to his drivel.

 

  “Don’t you have to practice more instead of worrying about others?”

 

  Inchul, full of pride in his own dance, had his face scrunch up.

 

  “I was the top entrant, Hahyun.”

 

  “Could I have topped the exam if I had taken it?”

 

  Inchul’s mouth, which had been running smoothly, was abruptly shut. I knew very well where he, who had been perennially second in the practical exams and had always had the tag of ‘second’ attached to him, was sensitive. I had no intention to provoke him further, so I grabbed Jigu’s arm.

 

  “And I’m not going to the reunion. I’m busy.”

 

  From ‘I can’t’ to ‘I won’t’, my change of words made Inchul’s face scrunch up for the second time. But I ignored it and turned around to leave. As soon as I stepped out of the exit and into the chilly outdoor air, my mood suddenly plummeted for some reason, and I sniffed. Winter was depressing.

 

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