I lost everything but my will

"Aghhh" Jena screamed as she woke up from the horrific nightmare she was dreaming. "Even in my sleep there is no hope for me, is my life such a pain that even in the dreamscape I deserve no rest", "well…..at least I'm still alive," she said while sighing.

In that brief moment, it was as though reality caught up to her and the realization of her life being a living hell surfaced because no other reason would make her sad at the statement she just uttered, the mere realization that she was to continue living in this cold cruel dark world where the strong preyed on the weak and the weak preyed on the weaker, where even the slightest mention of food in a poor environment would cause a mother to willingly turn in her child to be used as the buyer pleased.

As this thought crossed her mind, she began sinking in the trance she had unknowingly created for herself, tears slowly rolled down her cheeks and a rosy smile that shouldn't be found blossoming on a face with thoughts like that found its way to Jena's face.

"Wow, I do think of dark things," she said while laughing as the tears still rolled down her cheek, "I must be turning mad or delirious just look at me", "well, I best get back to sleep before my dearest mother realizes I'm awake and in such a state, I don't want to sleep with the pigs today that weird old man has been given me weird glances lately," she said feeling mixed emotions but still ending up with a very rosy smile on her face, "plus it's my birthday tomorrow so I should rest it's much needed" and she finally fell asleep on the cold hard floor she called a bed.

If anyone hears this child's words and had the slightest feeling of compassion in them they'd be in tears, no one deserved to live like this, especially not a child that was just 13, you would imagine the endless tortures this child has survived to be able to talk and behave like this, but alas no one cares, hell even if this girl was attempting suicide they would cheer her on, for if not for the innate love of man for life and the inbuilt instinct of self-preservation you would pile up a mound as tall as a tower of dead bodies under the category of suicide.

Jena was a beautiful, smart, optimistic and introverted young girl, she had eyes that twinkled with curiosity and hope, milky white skin and dark brown hair, but most of all she hated injustice to a point of extremism.

You would think that these were very good qualities at first glance, but rather than all these being very good qualities, in this dystopian world she lived in they were considered horrible ones. Jena and her mother lived in a hut her dad built when he got married to Jena's mom Jade. But he died two years after Jena's birth in a fight that took place where they live. This broke their family, the motherly love Jade would've given Jena died with her dad.

Jena's mom sank into depression and endless rage, fueled by her broken heart and the pain that she couldn't stop no matter how many bottles she went through, how many pills she swallowed and how many needles pierced her body, but that didn't mean she stopped, she still did as many drugs as she could to drown her sorrow and when that wasn't enough there was always the option of lashing out at her beloved daughter.

Jena lived 11 years like this since her dad died when she was two. It was a new method of torture to another whilst her mother droned on about how she loved her and scream at her for no reason, but Jena endured this psychological and physical torture she was undergoing for every day of her life, countless nightmares, and sleepless nights for fear her mother would suddenly wake up and finally kill her in her sleep. But she held on strong, she had hope that someday she'll become a strong person join an organization and help these people in whatever way she could because to Jena no one deserved to suffer when they had done nothing wrong.

Circumstance led to the heavy crime rate and death rate in the slums she lived in. But as nice as she was she had bottom lines. And unfortunately for those who would learn of this the hard way this girl was nothing to scoff about. The devil might as well be scared of her because who was she, she was Jena Boulevard the only daughter of her father and the only child he lived to love.

Now Jena slept once again, rather soundly for someone under this much pressure, but what else could she do, what else could she even hope to do, they say you always have a choice, but if you can think of one logical solution Jena had you must've spent the whole day but you'll still realize it isn't one she could take. Well, let's keep on going and see what fate awaits Jena, and what more cruelty life has in store for her.