I Really Didn’t Want to Be the Savior

Long time passed, Chen Feng turned his head in the moonlight to look at his close lover who was sleeping beside the pillow.

His mind is a little empty, and many mixed thoughts are surging.

His memories gradually flowed uncontrollably.

Since they met, the two have gone from misunderstandings and suspicions to being dependent on each other, and then admiring each other, to Chen Feng’s humiliation, but Zhong Lei's love deepens, and then Chen Feng finally showdown and confession, I wanted to say goodbye , But dripping deeper and deeper, appeared from the bottom of his heart, and then swallowed his mind.

Obviously, we are very familiar with each other now, but Chen Feng still remembers deeply in his mind the shock of hard to describe in his heart when he first recognized Zhong Lei and found out that she was Beethoven in the next thousand years. .

At that time, Chen Feng didn't dare to expect too much. He just thought that even if he became an ordinary friend, he would be satisfied with a few more words.

He never thought that he would pass the ninth life in just nine months, have seen countless lives and deaths, the whole person's shedding body, exchanging bones, and now he finally made it even more remarkable "Female version of Beethoven" was done.

Obviously, it has become a fact, but he still looks like a world away and can't believe it.

It's like a dream. This big dream is full of ups and downs, as well as happiness. Chen Feng knew it was a dream, but he didn't want to wake up, nor could he wake up.

He still occasionally fantasizes that if there is no crisis, everything will continue to live plainly, and then he will always look up to Zhong Lei, who is flying higher and higher in the ordinary, and sometimes feel self-pity and sigh. When you are a neighbor, why not make your relationship better with each other.

This destiny may be sad to myself, but it is also difficult to tell the good and bad of civilization.

Chen Feng glanced at Zhong Lei again, then silently buried his face in the pillow.

At this time, he didn't know whether he was ashamed or excited, maybe he still had a heavy sense of responsibility.

This is still for a long time, another person fell asleep next to him during the first crossing.

Oh.

It’s time to fall asleep, I hope I can do better this time.

Definitely!

The next day, early in the morning, Chen Feng opened his eyes in a daze.

The furnishings in the room are still familiar.

The sixteen pairs of woolen trousers that were shaken to the ground with the quilt when they were in love last night, neat and tidy stacked on the bedside table.

Chen Feng rubbed his eyes, sat up abruptly, and looked around.

This is indeed the master bedroom of my own villa.

Huh?

About five seconds later, when he realized something, his pupils suddenly widened and his face became extremely distorted, revealing lose one's head out of fear and loss.

Chen Feng's teeth creaked.

End... It's over!

I didn't go there!

Passing failed!

This...what about this?

Did we win this time?

My mission is over?

Grand Finale?

How is Tang Tianxin?

How is everyone doing?

Has humans rushed out of the solar system?

Is it really... over?

The compound-eye civilization is so powerful. Did I really do so well this time and successfully wiped out the fleet of the compound-eye civilization in the galaxy?

Will the home planet of the compound-eye civilization in the Virgo local galaxy group send a new, larger and more advanced fleet?

What is the next move for the Ultra Grade civilization that produces the sun dome and the electronic black hole?

How did we fight this battle?

How did you win?

Or do we actually lose?

Is it just that the energy that supports me to travel through time and space is exhausted?

...

Ten thousand questions that have made him anxious, but said that if it is not cleaned up, it will be messed up one by one in his heart.

These seemingly simple, but easily related to the lives and deaths of tens of billions, as well as the survival of the entire civilization, continue to impact his mind.

Gradually, Chen Feng's face turned gray, holding his head in his hands, extremely annoyed and apprehensive.

He has long been worried that there will be such a day.

That is, I suddenly lose the ability to travel through time and space, and then I don't know what will happen next, I can only give the future to fate.

Yes, I have already arranged how to go in my next life, and I have inexhaustible wealth potential. I am destined to become the richest man in the world 20 or 30 years later. , To become the dual leader of science and art admired by the people, this time he might become an invisible tycoon in the political arena.

But does this make sense?

Who is not a cup of loess after all?

What I want is not the present, but the future!

Asshole, why did you give up on me?

Give me a few more opportunities, maybe I will succeed!

I know that when traveling through time and space, I’m just waiting to replicate the universe. This energy consumption is so large that it exceeds my imagination. Can I lower my requirements?

Give me another chance, even once!

Don't give up on us by such a disagreement!

Humans...really have worked very hard!

This is not fair!

Unconsciously, Chen Feng clenched his fists, his eyes flushed.

Emotion tells him that he can't give up on this, but reason tells him that it is impossible.

I have not done enough, far from enough.

This time, humans may not even be able to completely complete the planting of the battleship, let alone find a way to crack the grid links, energy field shields, and super textures of the battleship.

We will definitely lose.

What should I do?

In addition, there is another layer of reason that is telling him.

Give up, it will be a thousand years later.

When the time comes, my tombstone has already turned yellow and weathered, and my death ends all one's troubles a long time ago.

Even if mankind perishes, what is it to me?

But he couldn't help thinking of names.

Tang Tianxin, Lin Bu, Ding Hu, Ou Qinglan, Dong Shan, Ouyang Zhenghua, Sergey, Lai Wenming...

These people firmly implicated his heart and the future Together, they are inseparable.

He is no longer a pure 21st century person. He will be more desperate, more apprehensive, more nervous and self-blaming than any of the subjects in the Oxford Professor’s questionnaire survey.

Other people's doomsday is hypothetical, and his doomsday is real.

He can't do a matter of no concern to oneself with indifference, so he will feel pain.

He always thinks that with so many people, generation after generation of struggle and hard work, they still have to face the end of life completely cut off.

Everyone will die, everyone will die, and everyone will be ruthlessly erased from the traces that once existed.

Obviously we have worked so hard.

But our enemy is too strong, and behind the enemy there is an unimaginable force.

I... what should I do?

Sorry, I'm really sorry, I let everyone down.

This time...I failed to travel through!

Sometimes the memory is too good to be forgotten, which is also a great sadness.

The nature of so-called forgetting does not need to be repeated, but the meaning of forgetting to people is not only the loss of certain memories, but also a kind of self-protection ability of human beings.

The most easily forgotten thing, the most unstable quantum spiral structure in the human brain, is precisely the thing that causes pain.

Under the impact of unnoticeable influence of emotional demand, these painful quantum spirals that make up memories will continue to be impacted and collapse at a faster rate.

However, Chen Feng's memory is getting stronger and stronger as his genetic arousal is constantly improving, and his forgotten innate talent is getting weaker and weaker.

He will remember good things as well as painful feelings.

Chen Feng can clearly perceive that with the continuous improvement of genetic arousal, in addition to physical changes, the human brain’s memory, logical analysis ability, and thinking acuity are continuously improving. The perception ability of pain and happiness is also continuously improving.

However, pain is always deeper in memory. Most people think of sad and angry images when they recall their childhood.

Happy memories are always very short and ethereal.

Therefore, as memory improves, the emotional impact caused by pain will become more and more intense.

To face this increasingly intense emotional impact, human demand for willpower is also invisibly rising.

willpower is a very mysterious thing.

The will tends to change with people's insights, knowledge levels, and experiences. At the same time, it is also based on the current world view and the historical precipitation passed down from the entire civilization.

Chen Feng gradually understood one thing.

No wonder the human gene arousal rate in the 21st century can only reach 25%.

This is clearly a biological self-protection instinct.

Humans do not have this ability when they cannot bear their weight.

Weak and small populations have too strong thinking ability in advance, which may not necessarily bring a better future.

The population is more likely to have a large-scale psychological collapse, which will lead to the collapse of civilization.

Assuming that at this time there is a second 21st century "indigenous" who has the same arousal and thinking ability, let alone make some achievements, I am afraid that the super memory is hoarded in the heart The pain of this person will instantly collapse his mind and become a madman.

Chen Feng was able to stay in it because he had been to the future many times before he grew up slowly, and perhaps he himself has some extraordinary natural talent in the matter of endurance.

But no matter how strong the willpower is, it takes time to dispel negative emotions. Impossible to deceive myself and say that I’m fine, it’s really fine.

At this time, Chen Feng couldn't control his mood anymore, he held his head with both hands fiercely, and kept rubbing his hair.

He is in unspeakable loss and sadness.

He turned out his notebook full of "Five Hundred Years Plan" again, and looked at the handwriting on it.

Chen Feng breathes deeply, the battle between heaven and man in his mind, constant deduction, constant calculation, trying to deceive himself to reach a conclusion, he wants to deceive himself, he has to tell himself, as long as he strictly implements the "Five Hundred "Annual Plan", it will be successful.

However, after a long time, he threw the notebook forward fiercely.

pa!

The thick notebook is hit on the big screen TV in front.

Chen Feng looked up at the sky, his hands trembled uncontrollably.

Impossible, it's set.

I can't lie to myself.

It’s all my fault. If I work harder and fight harder, maybe I will succeed?

I haven't done enough.

I...I am a sinner!

He has sore eyes and unspeakable grief in his heart.

He will always involuntarily imagine the scene of the defeat of mankind after a thousand years.

At this moment, the bedroom door was opened and Zhong Lei, who was wearing men's pajamas, walked in.

She didn't see Chen Feng for the time being, she lowered her head and muttered some melody in her mouth.

Then she raised her head again and saw Chen Feng, whose face was ashamed as a sheep having a panic attack. She was shocked and pounced, "What's wrong with you?"

Chen Feng's blind fish eyes slowly turned to Zhong Lei's face.

Looking at her concerned eyes, Chen Feng's eyes gradually returned to life.

He breathes deeply, slowly said in a sad tone that others cannot understand: "Zhong Lei, I failed, I failed to travel. I have not passed. I have lost the ability to travel through time and space to change the future. I... …We are determined to lose. After a thousand years, mankind will cease to exist."

Looking at Chen Feng's rare and extremely decadent appearance, Zhong Lei was stunned for a long time.

Then she slowly sat on the edge of the bed, took Chen Feng's hand, and gently scratched her fingertips in his palm, "Didn't we think about this thoroughly yesterday?"

"en?"

"Are you on the horns? We are the part that was left behind! In the future, you are still waiting for us to create a better present for him ! Why are you sure that you have lost the ability to traverse, not that we are left behind? Do you have evidence? There is no evidence that cannot be proved. Why don't you think in a good direction? What are you thinking?"

Chen Feng shocked all over, and was stunned.

The two looked at each other for five minutes.

He scratched his head awkwardly, "Yes. Is it possible?"

Zhong Lei patted his head, "It's not possible, but it must be so. We must be like this. Believe, you must tell yourself like this!"

"Ha...hahaha...right, right, right."

Chen Feng suddenly realized something.

No wonder that in the previous timeline, after each crossing, I would have a period of dormancy for a period of time. I didn’t show up very much, didn’t deal with people, or even did nothing, which seemed very salty. fish.

He didn't really take it seriously at the time and didn't think there was a big problem.

In the past, every time he flipped through the history books, his perspective spanned over a thousand years, even his "short" life in the past was hundreds of years away.

In such a long time span, the window period of one or two months of trifling is really unremarkable.

Looking back from the perspective of historical data, even if Chen Feng himself did not show up during this period, he was still behind the scenes of the original plan to change things, so he didn’t think about it carefully and couldn’t find it. The weirdness.

Now Chen Feng understands.

In fact, this period of time is exactly the period of my own downturn.

Such pain and panic will be experienced every time.

I must complete the psychological construction and tell myself that there is this small possibility, so that I can adjust and resume my work.

If Zhong Lei is not around today, Chen Feng feels that with his own personality, he would probably choose to hide, then gradually recover, and slowly walk out of the horns, through continuous self-encouragement and spiritual cues, Only by choosing self-paralysis and believing in the better possibility of second can we strive for life along the established policy with great willpower.

This process is easy to say, but how many negative emotions there are, how many psychological twists and turns, how many times are struggling in the quagmire of despair, Chen Feng can only speculate and imagine, it is difficult to describe.

He grinned suddenly and laughed, and in turn squeezed Zhong Lei's hand, "Fortunately, I have you this time."

Zhong Lei: "en. It should be."

"It's nice to have you."

After a moment of silence, Zhong Lei grinned suddenly, "But from now on, we two are destined to disappear, fake people."

p>

Chen Feng was taken aback for a moment, and then also smiled, "Ha, okay, but that’s not important."

"Yes, it’s not important. What’s important is that our two false How much wealth of civilization can people leave for the future and the reality of the future."

"Well, cheer up and work."

Chen Feng chatted with Zhong Lei for a while, After having a busy breakfast together, I personally drove her to Mason Academy.

Yes, Zhong Lei lied last night.

She did not ask for leave.

Chen Feng watched Zhong Lei walk into the gate of Mason Academy.

She turned her head when she was about to turn the corner into the corridor.

The two waved from a long distance.

Chen Feng turned around, got in the car, and prepared to drive away.

Zhong Lei called him again.

"Actually, I conceived a new song in the morning. I will not go to class today. I will figure out the lyrics and basic melody."

"What song?"

"The N-th power of happiness."

"Hey, what a tacky song title."

"Happiness is a very tacky thing, firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar. "

Chen Feng laughed, "But I believe this song will be very special and special."

"Of course. By the way, I recently learned how to sing by Jodel. Let you listen to it next time."

"Huh? Sing into the song?"

"No."

"When will you listen?"

"Guess."

Then Zhong Lei hung up.

Chen Feng scratched his head for a moment, but smirked for a while, and continued to drive forward.

Life must continue, and the future is still unknown.

Everyone must struggle on their own path.

Chen Feng is going to the headquarters of the North American branch.

He thought of Fatty Ou again.

fatty This will definitely be busy reading reports to get familiar with the business.

When I arrived yesterday, Fatty had already signed up for an MBA program at the University of California, Berkeley in advance.

Actually, Fatty already has an MBA certificate, but he is going to study it again to make up for the mistakes he made when he was messing around.

Fatty has recently developed a bad mantra recently.

"Master, I will not let you down, nor will my father, my daughter-in-law, and my children be disappointed!"

Chen Feng doesn't really like the mantra of fatty.

He has a different view.

fatty's words reminded him of the thirty-first century thinking cocoon in the last timeline.

Chen Feng also reflected that there was one of the biggest problems in people's outlook on life in the last timeline.

At that time, people struggled and worked hard not for themselves, but for the approval of others.

The scope of this other person is very large, including family members, relatives, friends, teachers, colleagues, anyone in the whole society, and ancient people who "know under the spring".

Take the Galaxy warrior as an example. When most people become a Galaxy warrior, they think about the glory of the family and the higher social status of the community.

His personal feelings when he returned to the capital of Shu area were particularly deep. At that time, his family members and relatives admired his various expectations, and were also proud of his achievements.

At the same time, some younger generations in other families are always eager to get his approval, but the family relationship is very weak. Everyone is still busy, trying their best to do their own things, and what they say is, never give you this The top warrior is ashamed.

Time continues to go back. Since 2500, supporting the core beliefs of the world has become to prevent the efforts of the sage Chen Feng from being in vain, and to prevent the seniors and martyrs from being disappointed.

On the surface, this is a good habit and a shortcut to gain a firm will, but taking a shortcut will inevitably pay a price.

The price is that later generations artificially constructed a thinking cocoon.

Chen Feng now thinks this is all wrong.

The support of people's beliefs should not be based on the approval of others.

The essence of this outlook on life is vanity, and it is also a part of the core framework of the thinking cocoon.

People's motivation for struggle should be based more on self-driven.

Faith should be self-realization of life value.

Internal power is stronger, more durable and stable than external power.