If I Disobey the Duke

Sowed (7)

“Why are you suddenly asking such a thing?  So…” Embarrassed, Lily frowned. “At the start of our marriage, I may have wanted a kid. But now… It’s hard to say. Now that I think about it, it’s funny.”

He tilted his head slightly. His eyes were gloomy as if he was even thinking a terrible thought.

Inside Lily, her old memories were pulled up like chains. She knew how much he hated his own bloodline.

[It’s true that my bloodline is unacceptable. Half-human, half-human eating human flesh, a child resulting from rape.]

How devastated he had been when he spoke quietly. He was the one who had scars all over.

How hard had she been trying to get through his wounds? The sand castle he had built up desperately was shaking.

Vlad murmured as he stared at the edge of the table with slightly unfocused eyes. It was a tone that was close to talking to himself, as if he was repeating an explanation to himself, “A child must also have a pretty important purpose. Marriages are usually like that.”

At his dry reaction, Lily’s heart was frozen in half. Her pessimism swung like a whip, driving her fear forward.

He must have been disappointed in me.

Disappointment. The word was crude. As the trust she had built up was shattered, she might have been gripped by that terrifying sensation.

She had a habit of imagining the worst. Uncertainty was so scary. If she takes her eyes off uncertainty for a moment, it seemed like it would attack her, so she was more obsessed with it.

Lily spat her words out desperately. She was afraid that he would be more disappointed, taking it as an excuse, but still, she had to say something. “It was at first, but not now. I don’t know how it sounds, but it doesn’t matter now. I just love being with you, so I forgot about it. But still…” Her voice was raspy. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you sooner…”

Vlad, who had been staring at the desk, raised his head. His eyes fluttered sharply, and soon his face turned pale. He seemed quite perplexed. “That’s not it.”

While Lily was startled, he quickly returned to the desk. He sat down at the table and held her in his arms.

He held her, standing between his legs. His body temperature wrapped around her as if trying to convey his sincerity.

Vlad patted her on the back. In his arms, her thin body trembled.

“I didn’t mean to blame you, Lily.” His voice was tense. The situation was urgent, he had to stop it before things rolled down the slope in an avalanche.

Confused for a moment, Lily stared blankly. His low voice comforted her softly and caressed her.

“Absolutely, it’s not your fault. It is my fault for not taking my position into account.”

“Why is it your fault…”

“Obviously it is my responsibility.” He asserted with sincere conviction.

On the subject that he declared that he would make her happy. A man who couldn’t properly extinguish anxiety in his wife’s heart. It was his own responsibility.

“I will die for you. There’s no way I’ll ever let you down. Neither is even worth assuming.” His explanation was firm without any hesitation. It was no consolation, but the unchanging truth.

He shut his mouth for a moment. He knew enough by now that she had anxiety that could not be extinguished with words. It was thanks to Shylock Isles’ venomous tongue…

“If you still want a child….”

A solution that would really put an end to the situation he felt was at stake.

He consciously pulled the choked voice out of his throat. A low-pitched tone crept through between cool lips, “There is also a way for Nerva to bring an orphan from the chapel to take care of.”

“…Hm?”

“If you and I both claim paternity rights, no one will ever have any doubts.”

Lily’s head was pounding for a moment. It seemed as if the tinnitus had entered the ear from the outside.

She bit her lip a few times, not understanding what he was saying. She closed her eyes tightly and opened them, regaining her mind.

“Another child… Are you saying to pretend it’s a child I gave birth to?”

Lily would rather believe that he was making a joke. But unfortunately, he was not that kind of man.

“That’s right,” he didn’t even hesitate in answering.

Lily’s eyes contorted. She didn’t even know how to react. She was just confused by him. It was an offer that, at first glance, sounded like an insult. The shame soared and then quickly vanished like a bubble.

Yes. She knew how much agony and compromise this absurd choice must have been. She only lowered her head in dismay.