I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

The rest of the day went quietly. 

No one talked to me much.

At dinner, though, I stood up before starting. "I'm sorry if I offended any of you. I lost control and did something terrible. I'd gone to Marg's place and apologized to her." What was I apologizing for? I didn't know. What I'd done was wrong. And there wasn't much I could do about it now. After all, it was already done. 

But to improve my already bottom-tier image, I had to at least try. 

Today we had grandma with us and that was about it. Mom and Elsa were eating. Raea and Aria weren't here. 

The bunny maid was just in the corner. 

"Well, sit down," Mom said, not quite looking at me. "It was only a matter of time, I suppose." Her voice was quiet. 

We all started eating. 

Matter of time?

What?

"What she means is," Grandma paused. "We already suspected you were in love with other girls too."

I knew they knew. 

Mom and Elsa had the best hearing in this house. And I had a feeling, the bunny girl had a similar hearing. Grandma meanwhile, was the oldest and she understood things a bit too much. They all knew. 

"That's where you're wrong." I didn't look at them. "I wasn't in love with Raea. And yet, I just did it for the pleasure of it. I was really distracted, I was really," Sigh. "That was just an excuse. I did it. And that's it." 

Yeah, I had too much stuff on my mind. Yeah, I had way too much stress. But at the end of the day, everything was just an excuse. I had to face that. 

And I was reflecting on it. The guilt was eating me alive. 

But I wanted to move ahead. 

After all, what was done, was done. 

"But you plan to wed them eventually, correct?" Grandma said. "Women aren't tools Helio. There are all sorts of people in this world. Some sleep with hundreds of women, never commit, and suffer an endless spiral. Others, stick to just one and sometimes end up unhappy for the rest of their lives. And there are those who swear to never look at another woman just to do it anyway. There are all sorts of people in this world. No one can guarantee you happiness. But only few are brave enough to just say, 'screw your system. I'd rather have my own way'. Of course, I'm not saying you marrying more girls would be a good thing. Your grandfather had two wives and a-"

Mom cleared her throat. "Let's just say, we're not mad at you. As you eventually plan on marrying them and taking responsibility. But don't do anything to jeopardize your marriage. You're young and you're hormonal. But that's why you should be patient: gaining experience from mistakes is good but learning from the mistakes of your predecessors is better. And try not to take in more, please. Things will get very ugly if they start being jealous of each other and you'll have to live through hell for that."

Well, they were right. 

But were we seriously having this conversation over dinner?

'You were the one who brought it up.'

Seriously, was it me, or was the shadow just talking too much?

'Just your imagination.'

What the hell!

"Something wrong?" Mom said.

"No, no, nothing."

Mom was the last person I wanted to say, 'hey, my seal is weakening.'

Elsa obviously didn't talk to me. 

Mom and grandma though did talk to me a bit more though. We talked about the wedding and their plans and all that. 

Apparently, we were going to have breakfast at home and leave as early as ten, tomorrow. 

***

I went up, locked the doors, and rolled around on the bed. 

It was too exciting. 

'I'm getting married tomorrow.'

I buried my face in the pillow whenever the thought came to mind. 

Inhale!

Exhale. 

Time moved slow.

I didn't feel sleepy. 

This awkward nervousness was something else. 

I couldn't rest, I couldn't stay quite sane either. 

It was hard to describe. The feeling. 

I kept my eyes closed. They were staying shut and I felt sleepy, yet, I couldn't sleep. 

I'd drank a lot of water, so I had to go to the bathroom.

'IT's been over two hours, go to sleep already!' Lecturing myself wasn't doing anything either. 

Apparently, stressing about not being able to sleep, makes you not being able to sleep. 

Sigh. 

So, instead, I started fantasizing about the marriage, the stuff we'd do after and… yeah, now I was excited for a different reason. 

Sigh.

***

I woke up excited. 

With a stain on my pants.

Perhaps I was too excited.

I took a shower, had breakfast, and put on a suit. 

Yawn. Still a little sleepy but the excitement was keeping me awake, no problem. 

I owned two suits. One- I'd never worn before, which I was going to wear today. A red suit with a blue bowtie. And the other, my funeral suit which I only wore at funerals. A black suit with a red tie. 

The perfume was specially selected by mom and well, I didn't like it. 

I was blazing through everything and it was roughly 9. So, we had an extra hour.

But I couldn't calm down.

I felt like this edgy kid who just had too much candy!

I could run! And I should have run. At least that would have drained some energy.

'But that'd also make me sweat.'

The last thing I wanted was to smell at my own wedding.

Sirgh!

I walked circles in my own room.

But time wasn't moving. 

So, instead, I just thought about the wedding plan. 

The wedding would be a small wedding at Marg's place. we'd get married at a church just at the border of Melheim's domain and then have a small party at his place. Afterward, we'd come back home and throw a large party here, tomorrow. My friends and our relatives would be invited here, not there. 

I actually liked this. I didn't want to spend much time in Melheim's place anyway. 

Knock! Knock!

"The door's open."

Actually, it was wide open, but someone still knocked. 

"Mom's calling you down," Elsa said from the outside. 

"I'll be there." I started heading out. "You look good." 

She was wearing a pink glittery dress: her back partially open. White gloves and black stockings. 

And was that a pearl necklace? Where the hell did she get that?

"Thanks, not too shabby yourself." Her voice lacked enthusiasm. I was the culprit, I guess. She came over and fixed my tie. "At least learn to tie a tie."

Well, I was only going to wear this once, so….

I took a deep breath. "Let's find some good Tuna on our way back." I didn't know what else to say. 

She half chuckled; half stared at the floor. "Sure." But she responded, looking straight into my eyes. She probably wasn't okay with this. 

But I wasn't going to change my mind. She was my sister and nothing was going to change that. 

Anyway, we headed down. 

Apparently, someone had arrived.. And that someone was dying.