Infatuation Of Darkness

Damn the pain she felt. There was a tingling sensation in her wounds and she knew that they had been tended to.

When did she fall asleep? Had Agatha or Angelo drugged her? Agatha could not do that, it had to Angelo. He had a history of doing it.

Alexis opened her eyes and her sight met with the ceiling. She blinked once and then twice and again, trying to adjust her sight in the dark and getting off the blurriness. How long had she slept for? It was dark. Twisting her head a little without moving her body, she looked at the time displayed by the digital watch on the side table.

It showed 2:33 AM. She had slept for an entire day. She had been drugged.

She had slept through the whole day yesterday. She looked back to the ceiling and closed her eyes with a sigh. She felt the tears gathering in her eyes as she remembered it.

She remembered how it all had happened. The slaps, the rage he had. Why Though? There was a contract that she had drafted and because of which this whole thing had happened.

He didn't even read it, to begin with, and he had attacked her brutally. He had not even considered why she had done so.

What had happened?

And how?

And most importantly, why?

Alexis knew that she did not know anything about this life but how had it been shoved back at her was something amazing. For a moment, she had thought that she was going to die and get killed by her husband. She was terrified of the man who had claimed to love her. Who had promised her power and position and she had believed it? There was no love in what he promised and she took it.

Reality had hit back in moments. Like literally moments. Hell no, it had hit her back in seconds.

He did not love her.

And it had destroyed her.

If this was his love, then she did not want it. She would rather be in a loveless marriage but look how that turned out to be.

An abusive marriage. Every woman's worst nightmare and had come true for her. And where was the abuser go begin with? It was the main contributor to her current situation here. 

Looking on another side of the bed, she found Angelo's sleeping form. His calmed and relaxed sleeping form. The stress-free face had no frown on it this time. It seemed as if he had no tensions in the world. He was sleeping as if he had no idea what he had done to his wife. 

She let a breath in.

A breath out.

Another one in.

Another one out.

Lord was her witness that this time instead of wanting to strangle him she was feeling nothing.

No hate, no love definitely and no ... admiration. She felt nothing towards this vile man.

Something she had begun to feel lately and something only she knew deep down in her bottomless pit of a heart she had. The heart that did not understand how much at a disadvantage it was to tie itself to people without any reason.

Especially people who you knew could not be trusted. This man had kidnapped her, to begin with, then professed his love like it was directed by a world-famous director and she had believed him?

Just like that?

She had believed that he loved her as a normal man would? That he would argue and yell rather than choosing to hit her?

As she watched his sleeping form with her head twisted in his direction, a tear slipped from her eye and went to her hairline as she made no effort to stop it.

Another one slipped and she made no move. 

Her view got hazy from the tears and another one slipped but she continued to look at his face.

Her mistake.

A stupid mistake.

When she felt another one slip she finally closed her eyes and let a quiet sob out but immediately she placed a hand on her mouth, trying her best to quieten herself before the man next to her woke up. She would hate to talk to him as she was crying, No! She would hate to have him see her crying.

Only one thing ran through her mind.

She had believed him. She had believed herself to get a better version of the happily ever after bubble that she knew did not exist.

Sighing courage, she got up very softly and tried her level best to not make any sounds while doing so.

Her body spasmed in pain but she got up and walked to the bathroom. Peeping behind her at the man who was sound asleep, she breathed heavily as she felt the pain and adrenaline pumping from trying to be discreet and be away for the man just this once.

She opened the door and turned around then She slowly slid it shut as she watched his face remain calm and asleep.

After the door shut, she locked it very slowly and then moved away from it.

She looked at herself in the mirror and then broke down. A sob kept itself free from her and she immediately hushed herself, it echoed and she hated the feeling of being weak. Especially when she could hear it herself and knowing that he could too.

She turned on the tap only halfway through and it made noise as it clashed with the sink. 

And then she let go.

Tears fell from her eyes as she heaved from her crying. Breathing seemed difficult so she stuck with breathing from her mouth. Sob after sob came out and so did her tears. She didn't stop crying and neither did her tears stop. Lowering her head down, she cried in silence. Oh, how pathetic she felt.

How could She be so stupid?

"So fucking gullible?" She broke out the words as she looked into the mirror again.

"Why?" She sobbed with her lips wobbling, a sob coming from her heart making a chest pain. "Why again, Alexis?"

Staring at the mirror she talked to herself, "Did we not talk about this? About how we would not get our hearts broken? Then why are we here, going through all of it once again?"

Sobbing more, she continued to talk even though now nothing could be understood from it. "why again crying in front of a mirror when we promised to be we do so again? Where did that strength go?"

Closing her eyes she sobbed, "where the fuck did it go?" Her shoulders shook as cries escaped her being buried by the echoes of the water hitting the washbasin. Her hands were holding the tile slab for support or she would have fallen long ago. Her legs were shaking and so were her shoulders.

Anger seeped into her veins as the realisation struck.

She slapped herself once on the cheek.

She then slapped herself in the same cheek again.

She deserved it. It was her fault. He had never asked her to trust me. She had done so. She had chosen to do so.

The slap that he had given her was something she could still feel and to remind herself so that Alexis had slapped herself. She knew that she deserved it.

Whatever he did was what he did. She was responsible for herself. She was responsible for her faults like he was for his. 

Her eyes were red and so was her nose. Her lashes were wet. Her cheeks were swollen. Her lips were dry and chapped and now they hurt.

What she was looking at now was the aftermath of her crying session.

Something she knew that she won't forget for a long long time.

And something she knew that she won't let him forget as well. He would pay for it. He would have to pay for it all.

Picking up the hem of her shirt, she placed her hand on the marks that he had left. He had burned her in the name of punishment. Those burn wounds had left visible marks behind.

The ones of torture, punishment and something to remind her of what she had done. Alexis pressed it a little, it didn't hurt anymore. There were just scares left behind as Memories.

"That is what he does," Alexis murmured, running her fingers over the scars. "Burn and cut. Slap and push. He cannot love. Obsession is not loved." She muttered to herself. "He does not love anything. Not even his organisation. That is another one of his possessions, like me. Just like me."

She needed to hear it. She needed to hear it to understand it and to get the image of it inside her thick head.

Looking at herself in the mirror again, she gave herself another slap.

"Look at yourself and always remember.." She said before the Darkness took over and she fell with her eyes closing and her falling asleep for the second time.