JUST 3 WORDS

Chapter 18:CHAPTER 18: DAMN IT

ZANDER

It got out of control that we ended up something I should not have. Yes, we did sex in the poolside luckily it was slightly dark and it was just the two of us. I feel guilty because she is Shane's sister and if he knew what I did, he might kill me.

I should have not kissed her I should have not been an idiot. I lost control when I am with her. This is stupid she is only 16 and never been in a one nightstand. I never do relationship; girls come and go in my life without commitment. I am not ready with commitment and complications. 

"I am so sorry. I should not have…"

"Stop!" I saw her face when she cut me off. "Do not say another word. Just forget this." With that, she walked away from me and went upstairs.

I stood there frozen I feel uneasy with what I have done. I can see her expressions when I apologized. What have I done, she was a good damn girl and I was really an idiot. We connected with each other very well but it ruin with my lust.

I pulled my hair and sat on the ground. I feel something for her than any other girls but I cannot promise anything for assurance.

I walked upstairs and stopped at her door. I wanted to talk to her and hear my side. I did not apologize because I did not regret that feel but I did sorry because I am not the person she want to be more than she need. I was about to knock but I changed my mind instead.

I walked towards my room and straight to the bathroom. I took a cold shower to cleanse all the things that I have been doubtful.

The water is still running I was thinking her, her eyes that looks hurt. I punched the bathroom wall. "Damn it"

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It has been weeks and I miss talking to her. I do not know why I am upset with the things going on with us. I tried forgetting about that night and I thought I could forget about it by hooking up with girls in school or other school.

Senior year was quite busy nowadays, having many activities and assignments but we still come up with everything. I keep my distance with Shay because I know I hurt her big time and graduation is fast approaching. I already apply some universities from other states and I am going to college soon.

It is Friday night and there is a party going on in one of the senior of our school, we both there my friends and me. My mind was not really in the party, I was thinking of her, Shayla. She was always staying at home and never goes out for partying.

I saw Shane left again with some girl in his arms and guessing again, they will be in somewhere but not in their house.

I waited for a few minutes before decided to go to a place that keeps bugging in my mind.  Shay's house, I know their parents were at the hospital right now on duty. Therefore, she is alone and this is my chance to talk to her before graduation.

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