Living Life In Naruto Relaxed.

Kai-La was dressed in a black business suit. He had Black gloves on and set of dress boots. A cane was to his left that could attach to his belt if need be. The weirdest thing was the black mask with a white whirlpool on the front.

At 5ft'11inches with a Kryptonian physique that had no fat. Short black hair and bronze skin with perfect teeth. Blue eyes that lit the room up and a smooth voice to match.

'Ugh, the God of fertility has jokes. Crazy jokes why am I dressed like this. What the hell is all this...' Kai-La thought. 'First, he kills me by pissing off one of his women. Then he sends me off before we could continue our conversation, just to go placate her. Damn him. But then again this body is sweet as hell. So I can't complain too much.'

"Lord Uzumaki, the Hokage will see you now." A female ninja said. She then opened the door and gestured towards Kai-La to move on ahead. "Would you rather be called Lord Senju?"

"Ah right, your talking to me. My apologies I was deep in thought there. Lord Uzumaki is fine." Kai-La said with a bright smile as he walked into the doorway. "Thanks, ah before I forget are you single?"

"Excuse me, my lord?" The female ninja asked? A small blush graced her cheek. "I think it would be best you don't keep the Hokage waiting." At that, she went back to her desk.

"Ah well, I tried," Kai-La said as shrugged and walked in. 'I am glad this body can absorb vast amounts of sunlight. I wonder if this is considered to be chakra for me. I should think about it or experiment to get the answers right quick.'

Walking inside Kai-La stood and gazed across the room slowly. Activating his X-ray vision took only a few moments to get the hang of. The second wish worked even on his self. His actual biological abilities knowledge poured into his head. How to use them and the amount of power they currently had.

"Oh my Sarutobi, so many ninjas watching us. Your personal guards and Root operatives how deadly. Are they here to.... well how to put this attempt to kill me? That would not be wise. I thought we could at least be friends or better yet allies. But to think this would happen." Kai-La said in humor. As he finished his count of all of them he flexed a little chakra.

10 ninja guards. 2 Root operatives. At least 15 chunin rank or above outside.

"That is not it at all. Lord Uzumaki, please sit we can discuss this." The Hokage voice came out light with a little trepidation. As he said this he waved his hands dismissing the Anbu guards.

A slight whooshing sound was heard as the room became quiet. Kai-La could still hear the heartbeat of one of the Anbu. Definitely a Root member by the way his brain waves were set. Heavy manipulation was done or a deep indoctrination.

"It seems the Nation is divided. All your ninja do not follow you, Lord Hokage. A pity." Kai-La said as he stepped forward.

"Fwoosh," a quick gust went against the Hokages old face.

In a blur, the ninja was in his grasp. "Kuk, let me go!" The ninja gasped before he delivered a blow towards Kai-La's head.

"No," Kai-La said allowing the blow to reach his temple before stopping it. Blowing the rest of his breath out he froze the young ninja solid. Opening a small hole he dropped the frozen ninja into it. A little side dimension for the man to think about what he has done.

"Well that was..quite rude. As I said, they all don't listen to you. Why did you allow this Lord Hokage?" Kai-La asked as he walked around the room. Coming to a stop he looked out the village with his eyes squinting.

"I did not allow anything. This old man wanted to see what would happen. You didn't kill him, did you? He may be apart of Root, but he was still apart of my Village. What is it that you want Lord Uzumaki?" The Hokage asked. He circled his chakra for a fight just in case. A surviving Warlord of the Uzu is quite dangerous.

"Information. How old is Naruto right now? I must check on my little cousin yah know." Kai-La said as he circled the room.

"As of today, he is two. Do you wish to see him? He is in the orphanage. I can call to have him brought here." The Hokage said as he summoned an Anbu member back in.

"No. We will go to him I wish for you to see something." Kai-La turned with bright white hot glowing eyes towards the Third Hokage.

"I see." The Third said tightening his guard up. "Has something happen there?"

"I would say relax Lord Third but... I doubt you will. I am here as a friend to you and some of the Leaf village but not all of them. Come let's go, lead the way." Kai-La said.

With that Lord, Hokage flickered towards the village. Kai-La followed with pure speed and maneuvering over the rooftops. They arrived at the orphanage at a fair time. The third Hokage was able to witness a Root Ninja disguised as a caretaker. The ninja was extracting blood from baby Naruto. After he finished he injected him with something that made him start to cry.

"What is this?" The Third Hokage said in absolute rage. It took everything he could to keep from destroying the man right then in there.

Once his task was done. The ninja flickered away. As soon as he left, the Third motioned for the Anbu member to follow him and apprehend him.

"As you wish Lord Hokage!" The Anbu said.

"Fwish" With that he was gone. Kai-La walked up to the Third Hokage slowly.

"You may have sent that man to his death. The Root's security is way more than he can handle. But his death is just a mistake." Kai-La said as he looked to where the two left to. His eyes magnified and watched the Anbu gain on him. "We should return to your office to talk."

"Mmhm lets. You should have more faith in my ninja." The Hokage said sternly. His mind was racing on what was happening under his nose.

In a few moments, they were back at the Hokage Tower. "We are not to be disturbed." The Hokage said coldly as they walked into the room. The door sealed as he placed a barrier in the room.

Kai-La looked around and nodded his head at the preparations. 'It seems he has gotten serious.

"Faith means nothing in front of numbers, power, skill, and a whole bunch of other things. But the Will of Fire burns strong in you and your ninja still so you know something I don't know in that regard." Kai-La said as he observed baby Naruto. His x-ray vision only detected a small trace of poison. "He will be fine the blood plus the Nine-Tails chakra will take care of it."

"What else have you come here for? There is no way you came just for Naruto. An Uzu Warlord only cares for certain things in life. The mission comes first. So what is your mission?" The Third Hokage said cautiously.

"To help Naruto, to help you, to rebuild the Uzumaki bloodline, and last but not least. The Leaf village itself. On my terms. The rest of the villages I might just kill all of them." A little bloodl.u.s.t poured of his body making the Hokage shudder. "Well, the ones involved in the Massacre of the Whirlpool village anyway," Kai-La said as he cradled little Naruto.

"That's a lot of death. Why drag the world back into another conflict?" The Hokage asked as he raised his head to look at the two. 'How can a man look so innocent but say such malicious words.'

"True but the death of our enemies if you will have me. The first step is to fix Root." Kai-La said with a smile.

"Do you mean to kill them. I will stop you if it comes to that. Danzo can still be redeemed!" The Hokage said as he took on an aggressive stance.

"He cannot. Well not currently he is in an illusion due to Orochimaru and some others involvement. I don't really remember who. But he is really good at his job so we will save him if we must. And definitely fix Root in the process." Kai-La said as he continues to play with baby Naruto.

"You will do that. Why?" The Third Hokage said.

"Because I know the most about this village so I will rather stay here. It is better than going to another village setting up shop. Ah speaking of which I want Anko Mitarashi, I have a plan for her. Also, there is an orphan child as well that I wish to take along with her. She should go by the name TenTen." Kai-La said making funny faces at Naruto.

"Hehe" Naruto giggled as he wiggled around.

The Third dropped his guard and finally relaxed. "Are you sure you will help and not just kill everyone involved? And why do you want Anko for? The orphan TenTen of the former weapons master clan?" The Third asked actually puzzled.

"I want her to be my first wife. I need a lot of women to rebuild my clan. She is definitely one of them I d.e.s.i.r.e. She has a strong body and is extremely loyal. I also think she will make a great mother. I believe TenTen to be capable of great things." Kai-La said as he tossed baby Naruto into the air a little.

"I will see what I can do about that. This will take a long time to organize. The Namikaze compound will be opened to you. I take it you want Naruto to be under your care?" The Third asked as he started to write some paperwork.

"The Namikaze compound will be fine. When Naruto becomes old enough, he can have it. I will move somewhere else after. I will take the role of his Guardian..but I want you to send the one Kakashi Hatake to me. I wish to discuss some things with him such as Naruto's training. Also, Lord Hokage, this will take forever the way you are currently doing it. Use clones or higher people with kill seals to handle some of your paperwork. I also think it would be better if you allow me to help heal you some. Or would you rather continue to stay this old?" Kai-La said as he lowered his voice for baby Naruto who dozed off.

"Why do you want Kakashi? Is it to train Naruto? I don't want to place those kinds of seals on my people. Hold on a moment as I make some clones." At that smoke appeared. "Poof, poof, poof," Three clones were made and they started to do the paperwork. The original picked up the pipe and started to smoke again as he moved to the couch massaging his temples.

"So you have the ability to heal me. Why would you do that?" The Third said quietly.

"As I said Lord Hokage I like you. I wish to help you. I do believe you deserve that honor of having your youth again. You deserve to fall in love and all that considering how your wife and children died. If I make you young again we can pass it off as the Senju technique no one would be the wiser. Considering your skills, it wouldn't be surprising you learned it. If you wish to step down and enjoy your life we can bring Tsunade back and have her lead. Or have Kakashi take over after we clear his head up and get him through that guilt." Kai-La said as he paused to let it all synch in.

"I... don't know about all that but we will see." The Third said slowly. A lot was on his mind. "To have my pain go away.. that would be nice."

"That's fine. Do not stress yourself too much. I will do my best to strengthen this village. Also delivering you crucial intel along the way." Kai-La said.

(A candidate has been found for you. This is the location.) The Fertility god transferred to Kai-La.

"Excuse me, Lord Third, I have something to attend to," Kai-La said as he opened a dimensional fissure. Walking inside he could see a young woman out cold on death's door.

"Wait," the Third Hokage yelled as he instinctively followed along.

'Betrayed by my own village! Why?' The young woman cried. Tears streaming down her face.

"Chssh" the sound of burning could be heard. The bodies of her attackers fell one by one around the woman. All she could see was a little burst of energy that tore through limbs and burned holes through bodies.

'Please don't be another enemy. I don't want the last thing I feel to be that.' The young lady thought to herself. charred flesh already entered her nostrils.

"Oh, you followed me. Do you believe that to be wise?" Kai-La asked as he looked at the man who followed him.

"I didn't want you leaving with the boy. In case you grew angry and just left. I wouldn't know how to face the Fourth in the afterlife.

Kai-La had walked out of the void in front of the young woman. She was lifted up into his embrace one-handed and held tightly.

"Rest focus on recovering do you understand? If so just blink." Kai-La told her.

With a slight blink, she passed out. Kai-La started to turn her cells into what it needed to heal her. Changing them to have enhanced clotting worked wonders as they sealed shut. After she stopped bleeding he changed them back. He then turned some of the cells into new cells that actually ate the poison that was in her system. The cells were converted in a way after all the poison was gone the cells would turn dormant. If any new poison entered her body they would reactivate.

After watching this, Kai-La turned to the bodies and scorched them all to ashes. Afterward, he walked right back into the dimensional portal to the Hokage office. He did remember to remove her headband and threw it away into the dirt. Adding a bonus of heat ray marks on it. Kai-La set the woman down onto the couch when he crossed through.

The Third Hokage was the first to speak.

"Who is this? Why does she look familiar." He asked as he rubbed his chin.

"This is Pakura of the Scorching Sand. Hopefully, my second wife if she will have me." Kai-La said.

He turned the cells in her hair to have red tips and the rest of it to have a darker black like his. He didn't stop there as he reconfigured the cells in her eyes to have pupils. The color was a nice amber tint.

"With this, hopefully, others, won't recognize her too much. Only a f.u.c.k.i.n.g retard wouldn't change the appearance of an enemy ninja."

In a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. The Third undid his shadow clones. Kai-La placed Pakura in a pocket dimension to rest. In walked a purple haired ninja. She had a mesh shirt and a trench coat. She wore the standard sandals along with some shorts.

"Lord Hokage you wish to see me." She said with a bow.

"Yes. Please sit down Anko. I have a weird mission for you. Feel free to decline it." The Hokage said as he lit his pipe.

"Whatever the mission is I will handle it!" Anko said strongly.

"Well then glad to hear it. This is a lifelong mission. Have you ever thought about getting married?" The third said as he puffed out a ring of smoke.

"A lifelong mission sounds weird you are right. Wait.. wait... did you say marriage?" Anko said with a wry smirk. "With who?"

"With me," Kai-La said stepping forward.