Love Doesn't Matter

Chapter 80 – Back To Reality

It was the third day after Charlotte visited Sitmer’s villa.

“Benjamin Luxell?”

Emilia blinked her eyes at the unfamiliar name written on the letter. The sender’s name was unfamiliar, but the perfume that faintly wafted out as soon as she opened the envelope was somehow familiar.

Could it be Young Master Malvin? She was a little surprised by herself when she recognized this perfume and stood blankly in the middle of the living room. As she was acting strangely, Mitch asked.

“What are you doing? Why aren’t you reading it?”

“Oh? Oh….”

As she opened her letter, she was bombarded with content that did not exactly match her expectations.

[To the most cautious and cowardly woman I know through love.]

The phrase at the start made her smile unconsciously and forget her confusion.

[For you, I used ‘Benjamin Luxell’, the name of the person who is to become my business partner, instead of Malvin. That is very unfortunate. ]

It was as if she could clearly hear his friendly yet teasing tone next to her.

[I imagine you thinking this now: ‘We shouldn’t meet for the time being,’ or ‘You don’t want to be swept away by strange rumors.’]

Emilia laughed again. Watching her, Mitch tilted his head.

“What is it that you find funny? Who’s the letter from?”

“Yeah, from Nathan Melvin….”

Answering without thinking, Emilia was surprised for nothing. It may be because of Hadius Meyer. Emilia was gripped with an irrational fear, afraid to even put Malvin’s name on her lips.

“But why ‘Benjamin Luxell?’ Why did he send a letter in someone else’s name?”

“… I think it was because he was afraid he would be misunderstood. After all, I am the Meyer family’s fiancée.”

Emilia concentrated on the letter again. What followed were very surprising things that made her forget her brother’s existence beside her.

[I found someone who can be your backer in secret. The ‘Benjamin Luxell’ I used in this letter, that Benjamin agreed to all my conditions. He is not a noble and not very famous. You will become his scholarship student, and not a strange relationship with a nobleman. ]

Her heart started pounding. A series of images began to fill her head with the word scholarship. She walks around a beautiful campus with her teachers, friends, library, and books on her side. However, a huge uneasiness the same size flooded in. Don’t tell me, Hadius Meyer knew about this letter? Emilia quickly shook her head. If he had known, it would be impossible for her to read it herself.

She continued reading the letter again with a pounding heart.

[Let’s go to the New World, Emilia. With me.]

New World? Her high anticipations soared again before it calmly went down. His style of writing was very serious as if he had already expected such a response from her.

[For two years, you can study what you want to do, while I explore the New World. I think Tran Federation is a place where you can live a free life as you want. ]

He talked quite long about the Tran Federation self-governing system. Most of what Reina told her was consistent with it. No, it was much better than that according to Nathan. Compared to the mainland, there was a relaxed caste system, education was open for women, and it was much safer than the rumors.

[Benjamin Luxell is an administrator who promotes immigration to the Tran Federation. You can send a letter to the address written below if you have any inquiries, or you can directly come to me. It is in Benjamin Luxell’s office. ]

Reina suddenly flashed in her mind. That child also said that she would be leaving for the New World with her family….

[I know it’s not an easy decision. I’ll give you time to think. I have about a month to spare.]

Two years in the New World. Freedom, and the study I want to do….

In some ways, it was a dreamlike opportunity, but reckless adventure in other ways. He left a wise saying at the end of the letter to ease Emilia’s heart.

[Challenge yourself. Life is either a powerful adventure or nothing.]

(T/N: Helen Keller: Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.)

“What the hell is that?”

Her drifting gaze returned to Mitch.

“Why are you laughing like that to yourself and then getting serious?”

“Oh? Oh…. No, it’s nothing.”

Her mixed attitude made Mitch’s eyes narrow even more.

Emilia didn’t notice it and put the letter back in the envelope. The faint scent of bergamot lingered on the tip of her nose. Her quivering eyes like the candle’s light blinked as if they had come back to their senses.

“Now I… I need to sleep.”

“Already?”

“I will be starting to work at the scullery tomorrow. I don’t want to be late on my very first day.”

Mitch didn’t say anything. He just stared at his sister with curious eyes.

* * *

The dawn is bright even in the pitch-black darkness.

Dozing off against the fireplace, Pip opened his eyes wide at the beam of light piercing his eyes.

“Master?”

Startled, he hurriedly looked toward the terrace. He imagined that his master would be limping under the influence of alcohol. But what happened? The Young Master was nowhere to be found on the terrace. He stood up in surprise, but what is this again? His Young Master was changing his clothes as if nothing had happened yesterday.

His upright posture was straight and tall, and there was no shaking of his fingers tying his tie. Pop was momentarily entranced by his elegant appearance and didn’t even realize that he let his master do his work as an attendant as he was faithfully nodding his head.

(T/N: Pip’s name was deliberate. The raw was actually a typo, so… yeah haha. From Pip to Perm to Pop.)

“Wake up, Pip. Bring your jacket.”

“Ah… Ah, yep!”

Pip glanced around the terrace and walked briskly. There was an empty bottle of wine, even the smell made him dizzy. But how can he look so sober? The Young Master, wearing a jacket and standing in front of Pip, was as perfect as always.

“Prepare the carriage.”

“Yes, I understand.”

It was the time to return now to reality after his Young Master’s secret vacation.

* * *

“I knew it.”

This was what Emilia had been hearing throughout her first week working in the restaurant’s scullery. The chef was looking down at her pathetically, a newcomer dishwasher, with his arms folded.

“You idiot! You will put this on the guest’s table?!”

What fell in front of her was the raw chicken she just trimmed. When she looked closely, the flesh was torn in several places.

“Didn’t I tell you not to soak in hot water for too long?! It will become more difficult to pull out its hair if you keep doing that, and when it gets harder, then the flesh will fall off like this! Do you have a stone in your head?!”

“I’m sorry. I’m really….” Emilia replied sincerely.

Emilia had experienced the foul language and bad temper of the chef for the past few days, but the chef was not someone who made ridiculous accusations. She thought she could do well since she had done chicken preparations at home several times. But the reality was that home and restaurants are completely different. At home, it didn’t matter if there were less hairs plucked out, or if the hair was too difficult to pluck because it is for the family after all. But it wasn’t like that for a restaurant. Just one scratch would greatly reduce its value as a product.

It’s just a trifling dishwashing, and she thought it would be easy…. If she was in the wrong, she quickly admitted to it and fixed it right away. Being depressed about it will make no difference. But why do I keep crying?

“Ehy, you d**ned bitch…. Why did the boss bring in such a useless thing like you…? Try doing this again next time and I will kick you out as I please…. Trim it properly!”

Another chicken fell on the chopping board. Emilia bit her lip tightly, holding back the rising lump. This wasn’t the time to cry like a child.

Emilia quickly picked up her knife, cut the joints and ligaments, and began to pull out the intestines. The internal organs and the smell of blood vibrated. She silently finished her work and suppressed her growing resentment.

The chef came back after a while. His annoyed eyes glared at Emilia as he looked at the chicken she trimmed. Emilia was worried that the chef would spew more curse words, but fortunately didn’t.

The chef stuck out his chin and seemed to be thinking of something, then suddenly kicked the large wooden barrel with his foot.

“Finish this in an hour.”

At least the chef didn’t curse at me, Emilia sighed in relief. She then reached out her hands to the plates that had piled up. She took a bowl and soaked it in hot water, scoured it with a dome loofah, then dipped it in lye. She then rinsed it again with clean water. The kitchen staff said that it wasn’t that necessary, but Emilia felt uncomfortable. Using the bowls again without dipping it in lye…? She was worried that she would be scolded for doing something unnecessary, but she couldn’t just do what was wrong.

As time passed, her hands started to burn and her back was getting more and more sore. She found herself slumped and squatting down, and she was lost for a moment. In the kitchen beyond the threshold, big women were working tirelessly like machines. Her eyes automatically turned to her shaking slender wrists. She seemed to see the reason why every store owner rejected her.

[‘You still don’t know? Emilia is no longer like us anymore. She is completely a noble now.’]

Aunt Rosie’s words sounded like her auditory hallucinations.

[‘You know what Hailey is saying? She says that Emilia doesn’t feel like a friend anymore. Not only her appearance, but from her head to toe to her every little gesture, she became a perfect noble lady.’]

She suddenly felt a sense of urgency. Emilia raised her stiff body like a log and dipped her hand back into the dishwasher again. She wiped the bowl again with the rough sponge and peeled off the ‘noble’ that would remain in her body and mind. With her simple movement of bending and straightening her elbows, tears threatened to fall. What am I doing here right now?

[‘Let’s go to the New World, Emilia. With me.’]

It was as if Nathan Malvin was whispering next to her.

[‘For two years, you can study what you want to do, while I explore the New World. I think Tran Federation is a place where you can live a free life as you want.’]

Why am I doing this here even with such a heart pounding offer? Why am I hesitating instead of picking up the pumpkin that came by chance…?

The answer to that was also given by Aunt Rosie.

[‘Will Emilia be able to leave her younger sister and stepmother while she studies and does what she wants to do?’]

Yes, my younger sister Charlotte Bern. Who will take care of that blind child if I leave? Emilia didn’t want her dream to come true that much. No matter what success she could have, she will never be happy. The success achieved through neglecting Charlotte meant nothing to Emilia.