Monster Girl Sanctuary
Chapter 4: Things Keep Escalating!
“Few are they who may look upon me,” boomed the voice. I could do the arithmetic in my head—this dude was a god. “Fewer still are they who live after doing so.” There was a pregnant pause, as if the deity was waiting for a reaction from us.
I looked around. There were five other heroes, all warriors of some sort by the look of them. One was wearing a black cloak over his shoulders and had an elaborately carved wand clenched in his fist. Beneath the cloak was black leather armor, but it had a modern sensibility to it, one part Matrix and one part Lord of the Rings. The dude was like some badass gothic Harry Potter, complete with a scar on his head—but it wasn’t a cool lightning bolt. It was a disfiguring scar that covered the left half of his face and left part of his scalp bald. On that same half, the eye had a decidedly bestial look to it, entirely unmatched to the other, more human, eye.
Another hero was wearing a bronze winged helm with leather vambracers and leggings that ended in open palms and thonged sandals. He was wielding a short sword, also bronze, and a leather buckler for a shield. The only clothing he wore was a white toga that exposed most of his muscled chest. He reminded me of a living Greek legend, like Hercules or Theseus.
The others were all similarly varied and imposing in their own ways. Wizards, fighters, assassins—it was clear that, in my McDonald’s managerial staff attire, I was the odd one out. I looked over my shoulder and saw Autumn hovering behind me. One-by-one, one catgirl per hero was flashing into the formation, standing beside, in front of, or behind her respective hero. Autumn was the first one to appear, and as I studied her face I realized she was coming to the same realization as me.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, giving me a stern look. “You are the greatest Apex Hero. I am sure of it. Pay them no mind.”
To be entirely transparent, I couldn’t be bothered to give a shit about it anyway. My priorities were, in this order:
And somewhere, way, way far down on that list was whatever bullshit they were gearing up to tell me I had to do. Looking around, these tough bastards were more than capable of doing the heavy lifting, so I was set. As far as I was concerned, I was already well-situated on Easy Street. By the time the god in the golden orb finally spoke again, I was already thinking about cabin construction and the most efficient way to set up a foundation for said cabin.
The god continued, glowing in its strange form at the perfect center of our circular formation. “Lusteria has been frozen in time, preserved in a pocket dimension until the emissaries completed their holy task. For too long, this world has suffered at the hands of the three Dark Queens who terrorize our people.”
I scanned the faces of the other heroes, curious to see if anyone else gave less of a shit than I did, but I was slightly embarrassed to see them all apparently hanging on every word. The Greek-looking motherfucker seemed moved half to tears.
“Now, the task of the emissaries is complete, and six heroes from throughout the multiverse have been brought forth to serve Lusteria and free its people from bondage and oppression. Two heroes from a savage world known as Erotar are here among us, as well as two more from a demiplane housing a school for powerful eldritch sorcerers. One hero has been granted a reprieve from his damnation in one of the nine hells and, in return, is here today to honor us with his service. And lastly, we have enlisted the service of a mighty overlord from a dark and soul-sucking world known as ‘McDonald’s.’”
I looked over at Autumn with an unamused expression. “I may have embellished a little bit,” she shrugged, grinning, twiddling her fingers. Sighing, I turned back to listen.
“Your task is simple: Defeat the three Dark Queens: Blood-Moon the Demon Queen, Marrowheart the Goblin Queen, and Granny Gilly the Witch Queen. First, build your strength, defend this land from further corruption, and form powerful bonds with its peoples, for only then will you possess the power and devotion required to complete this task.”
I sighed with relief. I could easily pass off my farming plans as me trying to form bonds with the land and its people. I mean, hell, I was already making impressive headway in building relationships with the natives. I literally just had a local boob in my mouth like five minutes ago.
“Now, I will bestow upon you the gifts you shall require. First, your dragons. Behold!”
From out of the orb flew six roaring beasts of indescribable majesty. With bodies that were proportioned like mighty horses, but scaled and with draconic faces and talons, they were a sight to see. Their wings extended outward from their front shoulders, and each of the six dragons already had a leather saddle, bridle, and reins equipped, fastened securely on their glorious scaled bodies.
My mouth dropped agape as one of the dragons, a blue one, flew right toward me, stopping in front of me, lowering its head so it could nuzzle my arm. I stroked its neck, getting goosebumps from the tickling sensation of its rough scales on my hand and wrist. It screeched its affection to me, and I couldn’t contain a grin.
“He’s for me?” I asked incredulously, stealing a glance over at Autumn who was beaming at me.
“Yes, he is for you. What will you name him?” she asked curiously.
“I don’t know,” I said, unable to stop myself from smiling ear to ear like a dufus. I was somewhat reassured when I looked around and saw similar looks on the faces of almost all the other heroes. “Blue?”
“Do not fucking name a blue dragon-steed Blue,” she growled at me. “Have some imagination, for the love of the gods.”
I shrugged noncommittally. “I’ll think about it.”
I would, in fact, not think about it. His name was Blue.
“And next!” boomed the voice. I was all ears now. They officially had my attention after giving me a fucking rideable dragon. “Next, we will be announcing the unique ways in which each of you can cultivate your powers most efficiently.”
“What’s he talking about?” I leaned in, asking my catgirl escort.
“Leveling up,” she said. “All heroes gain XP through fighting monsters and crafting, but Apex Heroes have special methods unique to each of them.”
“Karthu Im Kultar of Thune!” shouted the voice, and a snake-eyed man with olive skin and a shaved head hovered forward. “Through meditation you may cultivate your XP, once per day.” He nodded and floated backward.
“Aldon Murphy!” This time the goth Harry Potter floated forward, already mounted on his black dragon. “You may increase the speed of your XP gain by casting high-level spells.”
He went on and on, going around the circle seemingly at random until at last the voice landed on me. “And finally, Bucky Drake!” I swallowed hard and found myself floating forward, independent of my own will. “You can…” the voice faltered for a moment. “Hold on, this can’t be right. Please, everyone, just…wait a moment!” The golden orb shrank to the point where it almost vanished. I floated backward. Huge yikes.
Panicked, I whipped my head back to see the face of my catgirl escort. Her eyes had gone huge, clearly just as alarmed as I was. Why the fuck was my case so atypical that a god had to run off to get a second opinion?
After a few minutes of sweating and feeling the curious stares of the other heroes around me, the orb finally swelled in radiance and size once more.
“Bucky Drake!” I floated forward again. “To, um, further cultivate your XP, you can… Nope. Nope nope. I’m not going to say this. Someone else say it.” Aaaand back I went.
Another voice, this one decidedly feminine, could be heard from inside the golden orb. “Well, I’m not saying it, Paragon. Who do you suggest be the one to say it?”
“Hierophant, come here. Can you say this really quick? Like, just super quick.”
Once again, I found myself floating forward. This was getting old. “Hmm? Let me see. Bucky Drake… blah blah blah… you can… Is this quite right?”
“Yes, it’s correct. I checked.”
“Well… Okay. Bucky Drake!” a third voice was saying, still emanating from the golden orb. I flashed a ‘what the fuck?’ look to Autumn, who was cringing, mortified by whatever was going on. “So, this is awkward,” the voice continued. “Everyone who is not Bucky Drake or his liaison, Autumn, maybe cover your ears.”
Literally no one covered their ears.
“All covered? Great. Bucky Drake, you can cultivate your XP most efficiently through oral, vaginal, and anal sex with women native to Lusteria. There it is. I said it. I’m outta here. Oh, umm, uncover your ears!” At last I floated back to my original spot, this time for the last time.
“Thanks a ton, my guy,” mumbled the deep, booming voice of the first god, Paragon. Then, clearing his throat: “Alright! Heroes! You shall be returned to your last location momentarily, but first you shall receive our final gift. Each of you will be given 1000 XP, which should be enough for you to level up at least once, maybe twice or more depending on what you did before coming here. When you return, please take your task seriously. Defeat evil, grow stronger, and fight the three Dark Queens. You may wish to seek one another out for aid! When this task is done, each of you shall be rewarded proportionately for your role.”
Before any more questions were asked, I felt a roaring surge of… something rushing through me. I clasped my hands tight, pulling up my HUD.
I leveled up, alright—I leveled up three times! This was way more than what I anticipated with only 1000 XP. That was likely due to the milk multipliers, I figured. Now, with so many skill points suddenly at my disposal, I was facing down some serious decision paralysis. It didn’t really make a ton of sense to hang onto them all—but what did I need so many skill points for? Also, I apparently needed to select a feat, but that could wait, and I wasn’t really sure how to do that at the moment even if I wanted to.
Perhaps the most logical thing to do would be to ask around Tater Town and see if I could spend my skill points by training with a villager who possessed a skill I could actually use, maybe something relevant to farming or working the land. I nodded to myself, resolved to that idea for the moment.
I turned to face Autumn just in time to see her palm flying at my face, her expression indiscernible. When her hand collided with my forehead, my vision flashed white again, and scant moments thereafter I found myself back around the campfire, with two sobbing holstaurs waiting for my return.
Their eyes went wide and doe-like to see me, and to my surprise both May Belle and Daisy’s bodies launched forward to hug me. I stroked May Belle’s head, but still regarded Daisy with instinctual caution, a little surprised that she was happy to see me at all.
“You were gone so long!” May Belle cried, tears and snot streaming down her face. “We waited here all night and all day!”
I shot a befuddled look at the catgirl, who shrugged her confusion as well. “Time is wonky when you meet with the gods,” she said.
“We were gone for, like, maybe ten or fifteen minutes,” I said, patting my favorite little holstaur on the head. Most of the time was spent waiting for gods to settle on who had the duty of reading off my cultivation method. I blushed to think of it, absolutely humiliated to have it broadcasted like that in front of all those other heroes and their catgirl emissaries.
“You were gone for at least twenty hours!” Daisy cried, her eyes looking up at me with the look of a child that had just realized her parents had abandoned her. “Never do that again!”
“I’m flattered to find out you even cared, Daisy,” I laughed.
She blushed and turned her head away to hide it, pulling back from the hug as though she’d just realized she was making a terrible mistake. “I—uh—it’s not that I give a shit about you,” she said, wiping a tear. “It’s just that it’s a dangerous world, you know?”
May Belle’s sad face finally broke into a satisfied smirk as she flashed her sister a very skeptical look.
“Oh, fuck you,” Daisy said with a sniffle until she finally broke in a giggle, collapsing on my chest once more with a sigh of defeat, her arms thrown tightly around me. “Fuck it. Don’t leave me again,” she said, looking up at me with faked annoyance. “You dick.”
“Ahem!” May Belle squeaked with a snigger. “Don’t leave us, right?”
“Enough of this pointless canoodling!” Autumn interjected, crossing her arms and looking at the three of us impatiently. “There is no time to waste. Penetrate them, now!”
The three of us looked at her like she had just grown dick-shaped horns.
“Excuse me?” Daisy asked incredulously. “What is with this chick? Did you really just say that?”
May Belle giggled, though. "I mean, I'm far from opposed to it—"
“He has the unique ability to generate XP for himself by copulating with monster girls,” Autumn explained in a hurry. She stopped for a moment to relish the shocked expressions of the two holstaurs, and then took a huge breath just before she launched into laying out her surprisingly well thought-out design. “Which means that we must make haste and set up a schedule between the three of us. I imagine that he can probably orgasm at least twice per hour, and there are 24 hours in a day. Assuming we sleep eight of those hours—no, six. Let’s not be greedy. Assuming we sleep six hours, that leaves 18 hours a day, which means 36 times that he can have sex, which means each of us—”
“Stop,” I said, holding up a hand in protest. “You’re insane, you know that?”
She furrowed her brow at me. “You know nothing about the threat of the Dark Queens. I would do anything to stop them,” she said, her eyes narrowed in purpose. “Even anal.”
I looked at the two holstaurs. May Belle spoke first. “I mean, I’d do that with you even without the threat of the Dark Queens, but she’s not wrong. If the Apex Heroes fail, we’re all doomed.”
I turned my head slightly so that I was looking into Daisy’s eyes. “If that’s what has to be done, then so be it,” she said in a soft whimper. Her cheeks were crimson and her eyes were dewy, but she didn’t break eye contact as she said it, so I knew just how serious her words were.
Fuck. This was a lot of pressure.
“Well, step one is to start the farm,” I said.
“The what?” Autumn hissed, scowling at me in disgust. “The fate of the world is on the line and you want to start a hobby farm with your two little cows?”
“Would you stop calling us that?” Daisy seethed, casting a dark look at the catgirl. It was nice to see someone else become the target of her disdain for once.
“Oh, and what are you going to do? Moo at me?”
“Autumn, that’s more than enough of that,” I said. To my surprise, the catgirl’s face suddenly twisted into a look that resembled shame or embarrassment.
“Sorry. Of course,” she said. “As you wish, Bucky Drake, my hero. I will play nicely.”
“Thank you,” I said, cocking an eyebrow in disbelieving surprise. But then I looked around, suddenly realizing my dragon was nowhere to be seen. “Hey, Autumn, where’s Blue?”
“Stop calling him that,” she frowned at me.
“But that’s his name,” I grinned back at her as cheekily as possible. “Now, where is Blue?”
“He’s waiting for your summons,” she said with angst-ridden eyes. “Try whistling for him.”
“Who is Blue?” May Belle asked in bewilderment. “Is it another man? I don’t want another man around. I’m a one-man-girl.”
I chuckled, raising two fingers to my lips. Thankfully I picked this skill back up in Boy Scouts, too. I blew hard, and a shrill whistle rang through the forest air. The sound of the whistle was quickly followed by the screech of my azure dragon-steed, and I grinned with pride as I saw him barreling toward me, descending from a point in the clouds above.
“That’s Blue,” I grinned, pointing up.
Seemingly aware that he was a point of spectacle to us, he upturned suddenly to perform a series of aerial flips and barrel rolls. “He’s apparently a bit of a showoff,” I noted, beaming smugly at the display.
“Oh my God!” Daisy exclaimed. “You’ve got a blue dragon?”
“He’s technically a dragon-steed,” Autumn corrected her. “He’s a dragon that has been custom-bred for our hero to ride.”
"Then he's got that in common with me," May Belle tittered.
“He’s a handsome guy,” I remarked, trying to ignore the forward flirtation as Blue finally finished his descent, landing in front of me proudly. I reached out to pet him, and he snorted with contentment, fuming a bit of icy mist in my face.
“So he doesn’t have fire breath,” I noted.
“Blue dragons have ice breath, of course,” Autumn affirmed with a nod. “Red, gold, and yellow dragons have fire breath. And there are other kinds of dragons, too, but that’s hardly important right now.”
“What is important to you, again?” I asked cautiously, sparing a look for the petite catgirl.
“Grinding for XP,” she said, suddenly reaching for the strings that were holding her leather top tightly to her stomach and chest. “And if neither of the holstaurs are up to the task, then—”
“I’m up to the task!” May Belle said, a bit too eagerly, jumping up and down just before she stripped her rags off in one swift movement. Fucking perfection.
“You know I’m willing,” I grinned, taking in the gods-bestowed sight of her flawless naked body, “but let’s prioritize finding a place to rest that’s not out in the open where monsters or goblins might interrupt our fun.” I could scarcely believe the words coming out of my own mouth, but I knew it was the right call. My rock-hard cock, though, throbbed with an open protest.
Autumn sighed, seeing my point, but still visibly disappointed to delay. “Very well,” she said. “Then let’s leave now. Chop chop, people!” she said, reaching out and grabbing me by the shoulders, turning me toward the path, and pushing me into motion.
The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful. Unfortunately, although I could have ridden Blue to the town, I’d have to have left the girls behind to trek the rest of the way on their own, and if you know me at all you know I’d sooner die a fiery death than do that. So we continued on foot together.
Several hours later we found ourselves face-to-face with the illustriously named Tater Town, and it felt damn good to have a look at civilization in any form, no matter how quaint and primitive.
Although it was scarcely a day and a half of travel, it felt much, much longer, at least to me. I don’t think that, throughout my entire life, I’d ever gone a full day and a half without seeing a building of some kind. Even the campgrounds I’d frequented as a teen had visitor centers, check-in buildings, ranger headquarters, and things like that. Not to mention many of them had outhouses or even full bathrooms.
On this trip, I had to resort to defecating in bushes while three girls as hot as supermodels waited for me several paces away. It was horrifyingly awkward—though they seemed to lack the same hangups. Also, most infuriatingly, the three of them somehow seemed to have their bowels and bladders synchronized, because whenever one had to break, the other two miraculously did as well, and they’d run off into the foliage together. The mysteries of women, I suppose.
So you can understand why I was so relieved to finally see a village that, I was assured by the twins, had an inn with an outhouse out back. I’d endure any smell, no matter how pungent, for a bit of privacy as I did my daily deed.
“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” I asked, gesturing to the thatched-roof cottages now a mere fifty yards ahead of me. All three girls scowled at my choice of words. “Er, present company excluded of course.”
“There’s the inn,” May Belle said, pointing to the only two-level building in town. “Shall we check in there first?”
“I mean, it’s not like we have a ton of luggage,” I noted, looking at my companions. It was true—the twins were barely wearing any clothes at all, and the only things they carried were the weapons we scoured from the greenskins when I’d met them. I was thankful they never had to use them, save for when May Belle pulled a surprise finishing blow on the one I’d burned with a Fire Bolt.
And Autumn traveled light, too. She had a hip flask with water in it that we had all been sharing and refilling from the streams as we came across them, but that was about it. Aside from that, she only possessed a dagger, which she usually wore on her belt, slung over her tight ass.
“So, what? You want to go shopping?” Autumn asked, raising an amused eyebrow. “With what money?”
It was a good point, I had to admit. “Well, maybe we can do some odd jobs around town for money.”
“My vote is for the inn,” Daisy said wearily. “My legs are killing me.”
“And my back, too,” May Belle added. “You try walking all day long with these heavy tits.”
I blinked hard at that, trying to hold back a pervy grunt as I watched her adjust her chest. A boob fell out of her top for a moment, too, before she popped it back into place a bit too quickly for my taste. It’s amazing how much the sight of a single perfect breast can brighten up a day—or make me suddenly very agreeable.
“Alright then,” I said, swallowing with an audible gulp. “To the inn. But, we’re going to run into the same trouble, aren’t we? No money, I mean?”
“Leave that to me,” Autumn purred, her ears flicking mischievously as her kitty tail flailed in excitement. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel unsettled by her sudden enthusiasm.
We walked into town, past the well at the center, past a few gentle-looking people—all of them women, and none of them fully human.
“So, like, everyone here is a monster girl?” I remarked, wide-eyed with wonder at the potential of this world for the first time.
“There is likely to be an elf or two and possibly a couple human men in town for breeding,” Daisy said. “But yeah, most people in Lusteria are female, and not fully human. Men all come from other worlds, like yours. Monster girls can't even give birth to boys.”
I nodded with solemn reverence. Suddenly, the appeal of every door in this village felt enormous. In each building, behind each window, a sexy monster girl could be waiting, and I might be the first new man they’d seen in ages. I swallowed hard, my mind racing with the possibilities.
“Are you okay, Bucky-Baby?” May Belle asked me, giving me a weird look. “Your face is strange.”
I closed my gaping mouth, and tried to narrow my eyelids to a more socially acceptable level of openness. “Right,” I said, “Sorry. Just thinking.”
“Okay, honey. Just let me know if something is wrong, alright?”
I almost guffawed. Nothing was wrong. Almost everything was very, very right with the world. I couldn’t even count the ways that I was set up to have a good time. But I couldn’t easily explain all that at the moment without sounding like a certified pervert, so I just said, “Thanks. I’ll let you know.”
We walked through the swinging saloon-like doors of the inn. At the front desk sat a young woman with yellow serpent eyes, green hair, a forked tongue, and a tight body. Well, saying that she ‘sat’ wasn’t exactly right, I realized quickly, as her lower body was that of a green snake with golden stripes and a matching golden underbelly. She was standing on her tail, you know, the way snakes do.
“A lamia,” I gasped, just a bit too loud. My D&D and anime knowledge were enough to grant me that much information.
“A man,” she cooed back, winking. “Welcome, stranger,” and she looked at my three companions. “And ladies,” she nodded. “You three are sooo lucky.” She licked her lips with a forked tongue as her serpentine eyes returned to me.
Daisy blushed, but May Belle just glowed with pride. “Oh, you have no idea,” she said confidently, hanging off my arm. Daisy, to my surprise, grabbed my opposite arm and clung to me nearly as tightly. Her sister noticed this and smirked at the sight of her twin finally getting possessive of me, perhaps finally starting to like me a bit. More likely, she was being pragmatic, seeing me as her ticket to safety, and I could understand that and certainly wouldn't hold it against her. I had no idea what she'd been through.
“And what can I do for you?” the lamia asked, her tongue flicking wildly as her reptilian gaze remained fixed on my eyes. She scanned my physique up and down, and I almost withdrew from the heat of her hungry glare.
“We will need your largest room made available, immediately!” Autumn said, pointing at the lamia brazenly. “Make haste, serpent!”
“Pay first,” she said, holding out her hand. The amusement on her face was gone.
“You shameless snake,” gasped Autumn in well-acted surprise. “Look at these fluffy ears and this sleek tail! Are you blind?”
“You’re a catgirl, so he’s a hero. So what?”
“A hero? A hero?! He is not just a hero. He is an Apex Hero, and he is here to set up a self-sustaining sanctuary for refugee monster girls and elves, especially those in need of breeding.”
Damn, she was quick on her feet, if more than a little abrasive. In one sentence she’d just turned my simple farm pitch into a legitimate cover story that made use of my unique XP cultivation method and justified it completely.
The lamia woman perked up. “An Apex Hero? Is this true?”
I nodded, more than a bit embarrassed at my companion’s manners. “It’s true. And I’m sorry about Autumn, she’s—”
“Passionate!” she interrupted me. “The only thing that matters is saving the world and helping displaced monster girls, don’t you agree? What is your name?”
“Scalia,” she said. “And yes. I agree,” she smiled. “If you’re really an Apex Hero, then you’re welcome to stay as long as you need in order to get your operation up and running.”
“There is no if, serpent,” Autumn said through a cold hiss. I wasn't quite sure why she bothered to ask her name if she was just going to keep calling her a serpent or snake. I almost buried my face in shame at her behavior. “He is an Apex Hero, and if there are two things he is passionate about, it’s engaging in rumpy pumpy with monster girls and saving the day.”
“At least half of that is true,” I chuckled into May Belle’s ear.
“Very well,” Scalia said. Her tail reached back and pulled a key from the wall. “Don’t lose this, please. It’s a pain to replace. And, hero?”
“Yeah?” I said, perking up at being addressed directly by the beautiful snake woman.
“You owe me a taste. Agreed?” She smirked at me seductively as she said it.
“Get in line, sister,” Daisy growled.
I chuckled. “It’s fine, Daisy. She won’t replace you girls.”
Daisy looked at me with her eyes wide as though she couldn’t believe what she’d just said, or how I’d responded. “No, I mean… It’s not like I want to… It’s just that—”
“Oh hush up little… lady,” Autumn said, making eye contact with me just as she was undoubtedly about to call Daisy a cow again. “Everyone can see plainly that you want him. It’s only natural. He’s the Apex Hero. Even I can hardly wait to writhe upon his heroic shaft.”
My eyes bulged as my cheeks burned red-hot. I couldn’t believe the cavalierness of her words, and in such a public place. Not only that, but I found myself reappraising her body once again, suddenly wondering just how eager she was. When she’d pulled her stunt in the forest before, I thought it was all about grinding XP, but now that I saw the gleam in her eyes when she looked at me, I wasn’t so sure that was the entirety of it.
Still, damn. She was shameless. I looked around, embarrassed, confirming we were the only people in the room—which was mostly just a front desk with a few wooden tables at our backs where visitors likely chatted and ate breakfast. No one here now, though, thank God.
Daisy’s cheeks burned even redder than my own to be called out on her lust for me, but she didn’t back away. Instead, she buried her face in my shoulder and tightened her grip on my arm. This was decidedly not a denial. Progress!
Before anything else could be said, a pretty young thing with ram horns, goat ears, and cloven hooves charged loudly through the door. “Scalia! Two Great Wolves are after the sheep, and Silver Moon is out there alone! I’m helpless to do anything!’
Scalia grinned. “You’re in luck, turns out we have—”
I didn’t let her finish the introduction. “Take me there!” I said, lifting my axe off my hip.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Autumn’s little mouth open in surprise. “My, my,” she purred, almost erotically. “For someone who fashions himself so lazy and interested only in farming, you have quite the heroic instinct, Bucky Drake.” I could practically see the gears turning in her pretty little head. “Very interesting.”
A cry rang out, loud enough for us to hear even inside the inn.
“We’re out of time,” the girl shuddered through glittering tears, trembling in fear, but she peeled out of the door fast, and I followed her blindly into the fields where the Great Wolves hunted.
virgilknightley
I looked around. There were five other heroes, all warriors of some sort by the look of them. One was wearing a black cloak over his shoulders and had an elaborately carved wand clenched in his fist. Beneath the cloak was black leather armor, but it had a modern sensibility to it, one part Matrix and one part Lord of the Rings. The dude was like some badass gothic Harry Potter, complete with a scar on his head—but it wasn’t a cool lightning bolt. It was a disfiguring scar that covered the left half of his face and left part of his scalp bald. On that same half, the eye had a decidedly bestial look to it, entirely unmatched to the other, more human, eye.
Another hero was wearing a bronze winged helm with leather vambracers and leggings that ended in open palms and thonged sandals. He was wielding a short sword, also bronze, and a leather buckler for a shield. The only clothing he wore was a white toga that exposed most of his muscled chest. He reminded me of a living Greek legend, like Hercules or Theseus.
The others were all similarly varied and imposing in their own ways. Wizards, fighters, assassins—it was clear that, in my McDonald’s managerial staff attire, I was the odd one out. I looked over my shoulder and saw Autumn hovering behind me. One-by-one, one catgirl per hero was flashing into the formation, standing beside, in front of, or behind her respective hero. Autumn was the first one to appear, and as I studied her face I realized she was coming to the same realization as me.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, giving me a stern look. “You are the greatest Apex Hero. I am sure of it. Pay them no mind.”
To be entirely transparent, I couldn’t be bothered to give a shit about it anyway. My priorities were, in this order:
And somewhere, way, way far down on that list was whatever bullshit they were gearing up to tell me I had to do. Looking around, these tough bastards were more than capable of doing the heavy lifting, so I was set. As far as I was concerned, I was already well-situated on Easy Street. By the time the god in the golden orb finally spoke again, I was already thinking about cabin construction and the most efficient way to set up a foundation for said cabin.
The god continued, glowing in its strange form at the perfect center of our circular formation. “Lusteria has been frozen in time, preserved in a pocket dimension until the emissaries completed their holy task. For too long, this world has suffered at the hands of the three Dark Queens who terrorize our people.”
I scanned the faces of the other heroes, curious to see if anyone else gave less of a shit than I did, but I was slightly embarrassed to see them all apparently hanging on every word. The Greek-looking motherfucker seemed moved half to tears.
“Now, the task of the emissaries is complete, and six heroes from throughout the multiverse have been brought forth to serve Lusteria and free its people from bondage and oppression. Two heroes from a savage world known as Erotar are here among us, as well as two more from a demiplane housing a school for powerful eldritch sorcerers. One hero has been granted a reprieve from his damnation in one of the nine hells and, in return, is here today to honor us with his service. And lastly, we have enlisted the service of a mighty overlord from a dark and soul-sucking world known as ‘McDonald’s.’”
I looked over at Autumn with an unamused expression. “I may have embellished a little bit,” she shrugged, grinning, twiddling her fingers. Sighing, I turned back to listen.
“Your task is simple: Defeat the three Dark Queens: Blood-Moon the Demon Queen, Marrowheart the Goblin Queen, and Granny Gilly the Witch Queen. First, build your strength, defend this land from further corruption, and form powerful bonds with its peoples, for only then will you possess the power and devotion required to complete this task.”
I sighed with relief. I could easily pass off my farming plans as me trying to form bonds with the land and its people. I mean, hell, I was already making impressive headway in building relationships with the natives. I literally just had a local boob in my mouth like five minutes ago.
“Now, I will bestow upon you the gifts you shall require. First, your dragons. Behold!”
From out of the orb flew six roaring beasts of indescribable majesty. With bodies that were proportioned like mighty horses, but scaled and with draconic faces and talons, they were a sight to see. Their wings extended outward from their front shoulders, and each of the six dragons already had a leather saddle, bridle, and reins equipped, fastened securely on their glorious scaled bodies.
My mouth dropped agape as one of the dragons, a blue one, flew right toward me, stopping in front of me, lowering its head so it could nuzzle my arm. I stroked its neck, getting goosebumps from the tickling sensation of its rough scales on my hand and wrist. It screeched its affection to me, and I couldn’t contain a grin.
“He’s for me?” I asked incredulously, stealing a glance over at Autumn who was beaming at me.
“Yes, he is for you. What will you name him?” she asked curiously.
“I don’t know,” I said, unable to stop myself from smiling ear to ear like a dufus. I was somewhat reassured when I looked around and saw similar looks on the faces of almost all the other heroes. “Blue?”
“Do not fucking name a blue dragon-steed Blue,” she growled at me. “Have some imagination, for the love of the gods.”
I shrugged noncommittally. “I’ll think about it.”
I would, in fact, not think about it. His name was Blue.
“And next!” boomed the voice. I was all ears now. They officially had my attention after giving me a fucking rideable dragon. “Next, we will be announcing the unique ways in which each of you can cultivate your powers most efficiently.”
“What’s he talking about?” I leaned in, asking my catgirl escort.
“Leveling up,” she said. “All heroes gain XP through fighting monsters and crafting, but Apex Heroes have special methods unique to each of them.”
“Karthu Im Kultar of Thune!” shouted the voice, and a snake-eyed man with olive skin and a shaved head hovered forward. “Through meditation you may cultivate your XP, once per day.” He nodded and floated backward.
“Aldon Murphy!” This time the goth Harry Potter floated forward, already mounted on his black dragon. “You may increase the speed of your XP gain by casting high-level spells.”
He went on and on, going around the circle seemingly at random until at last the voice landed on me. “And finally, Bucky Drake!” I swallowed hard and found myself floating forward, independent of my own will. “You can…” the voice faltered for a moment. “Hold on, this can’t be right. Please, everyone, just…wait a moment!” The golden orb shrank to the point where it almost vanished. I floated backward. Huge yikes.
Panicked, I whipped my head back to see the face of my catgirl escort. Her eyes had gone huge, clearly just as alarmed as I was. Why the fuck was my case so atypical that a god had to run off to get a second opinion?
After a few minutes of sweating and feeling the curious stares of the other heroes around me, the orb finally swelled in radiance and size once more.
“Bucky Drake!” I floated forward again. “To, um, further cultivate your XP, you can… Nope. Nope nope. I’m not going to say this. Someone else say it.” Aaaand back I went.
Another voice, this one decidedly feminine, could be heard from inside the golden orb. “Well, I’m not saying it, Paragon. Who do you suggest be the one to say it?”
“Hierophant, come here. Can you say this really quick? Like, just super quick.”
Once again, I found myself floating forward. This was getting old. “Hmm? Let me see. Bucky Drake… blah blah blah… you can… Is this quite right?”
“Yes, it’s correct. I checked.”
“Well… Okay. Bucky Drake!” a third voice was saying, still emanating from the golden orb. I flashed a ‘what the fuck?’ look to Autumn, who was cringing, mortified by whatever was going on. “So, this is awkward,” the voice continued. “Everyone who is not Bucky Drake or his liaison, Autumn, maybe cover your ears.”
Literally no one covered their ears.
“All covered? Great. Bucky Drake, you can cultivate your XP most efficiently through oral, vaginal, and anal sex with women native to Lusteria. There it is. I said it. I’m outta here. Oh, umm, uncover your ears!” At last I floated back to my original spot, this time for the last time.
“Thanks a ton, my guy,” mumbled the deep, booming voice of the first god, Paragon. Then, clearing his throat: “Alright! Heroes! You shall be returned to your last location momentarily, but first you shall receive our final gift. Each of you will be given 1000 XP, which should be enough for you to level up at least once, maybe twice or more depending on what you did before coming here. When you return, please take your task seriously. Defeat evil, grow stronger, and fight the three Dark Queens. You may wish to seek one another out for aid! When this task is done, each of you shall be rewarded proportionately for your role.”
Before any more questions were asked, I felt a roaring surge of… something rushing through me. I clasped my hands tight, pulling up my HUD.
I leveled up, alright—I leveled up three times! This was way more than what I anticipated with only 1000 XP. That was likely due to the milk multipliers, I figured. Now, with so many skill points suddenly at my disposal, I was facing down some serious decision paralysis. It didn’t really make a ton of sense to hang onto them all—but what did I need so many skill points for? Also, I apparently needed to select a feat, but that could wait, and I wasn’t really sure how to do that at the moment even if I wanted to.
Perhaps the most logical thing to do would be to ask around Tater Town and see if I could spend my skill points by training with a villager who possessed a skill I could actually use, maybe something relevant to farming or working the land. I nodded to myself, resolved to that idea for the moment.
I turned to face Autumn just in time to see her palm flying at my face, her expression indiscernible. When her hand collided with my forehead, my vision flashed white again, and scant moments thereafter I found myself back around the campfire, with two sobbing holstaurs waiting for my return.
Their eyes went wide and doe-like to see me, and to my surprise both May Belle and Daisy’s bodies launched forward to hug me. I stroked May Belle’s head, but still regarded Daisy with instinctual caution, a little surprised that she was happy to see me at all.
“You were gone so long!” May Belle cried, tears and snot streaming down her face. “We waited here all night and all day!”
I shot a befuddled look at the catgirl, who shrugged her confusion as well. “Time is wonky when you meet with the gods,” she said.
“We were gone for, like, maybe ten or fifteen minutes,” I said, patting my favorite little holstaur on the head. Most of the time was spent waiting for gods to settle on who had the duty of reading off my cultivation method. I blushed to think of it, absolutely humiliated to have it broadcasted like that in front of all those other heroes and their catgirl emissaries.
“You were gone for at least twenty hours!” Daisy cried, her eyes looking up at me with the look of a child that had just realized her parents had abandoned her. “Never do that again!”
“I’m flattered to find out you even cared, Daisy,” I laughed.
She blushed and turned her head away to hide it, pulling back from the hug as though she’d just realized she was making a terrible mistake. “I—uh—it’s not that I give a shit about you,” she said, wiping a tear. “It’s just that it’s a dangerous world, you know?”
May Belle’s sad face finally broke into a satisfied smirk as she flashed her sister a very skeptical look.
“Oh, fuck you,” Daisy said with a sniffle until she finally broke in a giggle, collapsing on my chest once more with a sigh of defeat, her arms thrown tightly around me. “Fuck it. Don’t leave me again,” she said, looking up at me with faked annoyance. “You dick.”
“Ahem!” May Belle squeaked with a snigger. “Don’t leave us, right?”
“Enough of this pointless canoodling!” Autumn interjected, crossing her arms and looking at the three of us impatiently. “There is no time to waste. Penetrate them, now!”
The three of us looked at her like she had just grown dick-shaped horns.
“Excuse me?” Daisy asked incredulously. “What is with this chick? Did you really just say that?”
May Belle giggled, though. "I mean, I'm far from opposed to it—"
“He has the unique ability to generate XP for himself by copulating with monster girls,” Autumn explained in a hurry. She stopped for a moment to relish the shocked expressions of the two holstaurs, and then took a huge breath just before she launched into laying out her surprisingly well thought-out design. “Which means that we must make haste and set up a schedule between the three of us. I imagine that he can probably orgasm at least twice per hour, and there are 24 hours in a day. Assuming we sleep eight of those hours—no, six. Let’s not be greedy. Assuming we sleep six hours, that leaves 18 hours a day, which means 36 times that he can have sex, which means each of us—”
“Stop,” I said, holding up a hand in protest. “You’re insane, you know that?”
She furrowed her brow at me. “You know nothing about the threat of the Dark Queens. I would do anything to stop them,” she said, her eyes narrowed in purpose. “Even anal.”
I looked at the two holstaurs. May Belle spoke first. “I mean, I’d do that with you even without the threat of the Dark Queens, but she’s not wrong. If the Apex Heroes fail, we’re all doomed.”
I turned my head slightly so that I was looking into Daisy’s eyes. “If that’s what has to be done, then so be it,” she said in a soft whimper. Her cheeks were crimson and her eyes were dewy, but she didn’t break eye contact as she said it, so I knew just how serious her words were.
Fuck. This was a lot of pressure.
“Well, step one is to start the farm,” I said.
“The what?” Autumn hissed, scowling at me in disgust. “The fate of the world is on the line and you want to start a hobby farm with your two little cows?”
“Would you stop calling us that?” Daisy seethed, casting a dark look at the catgirl. It was nice to see someone else become the target of her disdain for once.
“Oh, and what are you going to do? Moo at me?”
“Autumn, that’s more than enough of that,” I said. To my surprise, the catgirl’s face suddenly twisted into a look that resembled shame or embarrassment.
“Sorry. Of course,” she said. “As you wish, Bucky Drake, my hero. I will play nicely.”
“Thank you,” I said, cocking an eyebrow in disbelieving surprise. But then I looked around, suddenly realizing my dragon was nowhere to be seen. “Hey, Autumn, where’s Blue?”
“Stop calling him that,” she frowned at me.
“But that’s his name,” I grinned back at her as cheekily as possible. “Now, where is Blue?”
“He’s waiting for your summons,” she said with angst-ridden eyes. “Try whistling for him.”
“Who is Blue?” May Belle asked in bewilderment. “Is it another man? I don’t want another man around. I’m a one-man-girl.”
I chuckled, raising two fingers to my lips. Thankfully I picked this skill back up in Boy Scouts, too. I blew hard, and a shrill whistle rang through the forest air. The sound of the whistle was quickly followed by the screech of my azure dragon-steed, and I grinned with pride as I saw him barreling toward me, descending from a point in the clouds above.
“That’s Blue,” I grinned, pointing up.
Seemingly aware that he was a point of spectacle to us, he upturned suddenly to perform a series of aerial flips and barrel rolls. “He’s apparently a bit of a showoff,” I noted, beaming smugly at the display.
“Oh my God!” Daisy exclaimed. “You’ve got a blue dragon?”
“He’s technically a dragon-steed,” Autumn corrected her. “He’s a dragon that has been custom-bred for our hero to ride.”
"Then he's got that in common with me," May Belle tittered.
“He’s a handsome guy,” I remarked, trying to ignore the forward flirtation as Blue finally finished his descent, landing in front of me proudly. I reached out to pet him, and he snorted with contentment, fuming a bit of icy mist in my face.
“So he doesn’t have fire breath,” I noted.
“Blue dragons have ice breath, of course,” Autumn affirmed with a nod. “Red, gold, and yellow dragons have fire breath. And there are other kinds of dragons, too, but that’s hardly important right now.”
“What is important to you, again?” I asked cautiously, sparing a look for the petite catgirl.
“Grinding for XP,” she said, suddenly reaching for the strings that were holding her leather top tightly to her stomach and chest. “And if neither of the holstaurs are up to the task, then—”
“I’m up to the task!” May Belle said, a bit too eagerly, jumping up and down just before she stripped her rags off in one swift movement. Fucking perfection.
“You know I’m willing,” I grinned, taking in the gods-bestowed sight of her flawless naked body, “but let’s prioritize finding a place to rest that’s not out in the open where monsters or goblins might interrupt our fun.” I could scarcely believe the words coming out of my own mouth, but I knew it was the right call. My rock-hard cock, though, throbbed with an open protest.
Autumn sighed, seeing my point, but still visibly disappointed to delay. “Very well,” she said. “Then let’s leave now. Chop chop, people!” she said, reaching out and grabbing me by the shoulders, turning me toward the path, and pushing me into motion.
The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful. Unfortunately, although I could have ridden Blue to the town, I’d have to have left the girls behind to trek the rest of the way on their own, and if you know me at all you know I’d sooner die a fiery death than do that. So we continued on foot together.
Several hours later we found ourselves face-to-face with the illustriously named Tater Town, and it felt damn good to have a look at civilization in any form, no matter how quaint and primitive.
Although it was scarcely a day and a half of travel, it felt much, much longer, at least to me. I don’t think that, throughout my entire life, I’d ever gone a full day and a half without seeing a building of some kind. Even the campgrounds I’d frequented as a teen had visitor centers, check-in buildings, ranger headquarters, and things like that. Not to mention many of them had outhouses or even full bathrooms.
On this trip, I had to resort to defecating in bushes while three girls as hot as supermodels waited for me several paces away. It was horrifyingly awkward—though they seemed to lack the same hangups. Also, most infuriatingly, the three of them somehow seemed to have their bowels and bladders synchronized, because whenever one had to break, the other two miraculously did as well, and they’d run off into the foliage together. The mysteries of women, I suppose.
So you can understand why I was so relieved to finally see a village that, I was assured by the twins, had an inn with an outhouse out back. I’d endure any smell, no matter how pungent, for a bit of privacy as I did my daily deed.
“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” I asked, gesturing to the thatched-roof cottages now a mere fifty yards ahead of me. All three girls scowled at my choice of words. “Er, present company excluded of course.”
“There’s the inn,” May Belle said, pointing to the only two-level building in town. “Shall we check in there first?”
“I mean, it’s not like we have a ton of luggage,” I noted, looking at my companions. It was true—the twins were barely wearing any clothes at all, and the only things they carried were the weapons we scoured from the greenskins when I’d met them. I was thankful they never had to use them, save for when May Belle pulled a surprise finishing blow on the one I’d burned with a Fire Bolt.
And Autumn traveled light, too. She had a hip flask with water in it that we had all been sharing and refilling from the streams as we came across them, but that was about it. Aside from that, she only possessed a dagger, which she usually wore on her belt, slung over her tight ass.
“So, what? You want to go shopping?” Autumn asked, raising an amused eyebrow. “With what money?”
It was a good point, I had to admit. “Well, maybe we can do some odd jobs around town for money.”
“My vote is for the inn,” Daisy said wearily. “My legs are killing me.”
“And my back, too,” May Belle added. “You try walking all day long with these heavy tits.”
I blinked hard at that, trying to hold back a pervy grunt as I watched her adjust her chest. A boob fell out of her top for a moment, too, before she popped it back into place a bit too quickly for my taste. It’s amazing how much the sight of a single perfect breast can brighten up a day—or make me suddenly very agreeable.
“Alright then,” I said, swallowing with an audible gulp. “To the inn. But, we’re going to run into the same trouble, aren’t we? No money, I mean?”
“Leave that to me,” Autumn purred, her ears flicking mischievously as her kitty tail flailed in excitement. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel unsettled by her sudden enthusiasm.
We walked into town, past the well at the center, past a few gentle-looking people—all of them women, and none of them fully human.
“So, like, everyone here is a monster girl?” I remarked, wide-eyed with wonder at the potential of this world for the first time.
“There is likely to be an elf or two and possibly a couple human men in town for breeding,” Daisy said. “But yeah, most people in Lusteria are female, and not fully human. Men all come from other worlds, like yours. Monster girls can't even give birth to boys.”
I nodded with solemn reverence. Suddenly, the appeal of every door in this village felt enormous. In each building, behind each window, a sexy monster girl could be waiting, and I might be the first new man they’d seen in ages. I swallowed hard, my mind racing with the possibilities.
“Are you okay, Bucky-Baby?” May Belle asked me, giving me a weird look. “Your face is strange.”
I closed my gaping mouth, and tried to narrow my eyelids to a more socially acceptable level of openness. “Right,” I said, “Sorry. Just thinking.”
“Okay, honey. Just let me know if something is wrong, alright?”
I almost guffawed. Nothing was wrong. Almost everything was very, very right with the world. I couldn’t even count the ways that I was set up to have a good time. But I couldn’t easily explain all that at the moment without sounding like a certified pervert, so I just said, “Thanks. I’ll let you know.”
We walked through the swinging saloon-like doors of the inn. At the front desk sat a young woman with yellow serpent eyes, green hair, a forked tongue, and a tight body. Well, saying that she ‘sat’ wasn’t exactly right, I realized quickly, as her lower body was that of a green snake with golden stripes and a matching golden underbelly. She was standing on her tail, you know, the way snakes do.
“A lamia,” I gasped, just a bit too loud. My D&D and anime knowledge were enough to grant me that much information.
“A man,” she cooed back, winking. “Welcome, stranger,” and she looked at my three companions. “And ladies,” she nodded. “You three are sooo lucky.” She licked her lips with a forked tongue as her serpentine eyes returned to me.
Daisy blushed, but May Belle just glowed with pride. “Oh, you have no idea,” she said confidently, hanging off my arm. Daisy, to my surprise, grabbed my opposite arm and clung to me nearly as tightly. Her sister noticed this and smirked at the sight of her twin finally getting possessive of me, perhaps finally starting to like me a bit. More likely, she was being pragmatic, seeing me as her ticket to safety, and I could understand that and certainly wouldn't hold it against her. I had no idea what she'd been through.
“And what can I do for you?” the lamia asked, her tongue flicking wildly as her reptilian gaze remained fixed on my eyes. She scanned my physique up and down, and I almost withdrew from the heat of her hungry glare.
“We will need your largest room made available, immediately!” Autumn said, pointing at the lamia brazenly. “Make haste, serpent!”
“Pay first,” she said, holding out her hand. The amusement on her face was gone.
“You shameless snake,” gasped Autumn in well-acted surprise. “Look at these fluffy ears and this sleek tail! Are you blind?”
“You’re a catgirl, so he’s a hero. So what?”
“A hero? A hero?! He is not just a hero. He is an Apex Hero, and he is here to set up a self-sustaining sanctuary for refugee monster girls and elves, especially those in need of breeding.”
Damn, she was quick on her feet, if more than a little abrasive. In one sentence she’d just turned my simple farm pitch into a legitimate cover story that made use of my unique XP cultivation method and justified it completely.
The lamia woman perked up. “An Apex Hero? Is this true?”
I nodded, more than a bit embarrassed at my companion’s manners. “It’s true. And I’m sorry about Autumn, she’s—”
“Passionate!” she interrupted me. “The only thing that matters is saving the world and helping displaced monster girls, don’t you agree? What is your name?”
“Scalia,” she said. “And yes. I agree,” she smiled. “If you’re really an Apex Hero, then you’re welcome to stay as long as you need in order to get your operation up and running.”
“There is no if, serpent,” Autumn said through a cold hiss. I wasn't quite sure why she bothered to ask her name if she was just going to keep calling her a serpent or snake. I almost buried my face in shame at her behavior. “He is an Apex Hero, and if there are two things he is passionate about, it’s engaging in rumpy pumpy with monster girls and saving the day.”
“At least half of that is true,” I chuckled into May Belle’s ear.
“Very well,” Scalia said. Her tail reached back and pulled a key from the wall. “Don’t lose this, please. It’s a pain to replace. And, hero?”
“Yeah?” I said, perking up at being addressed directly by the beautiful snake woman.
“You owe me a taste. Agreed?” She smirked at me seductively as she said it.
“Get in line, sister,” Daisy growled.
I chuckled. “It’s fine, Daisy. She won’t replace you girls.”
Daisy looked at me with her eyes wide as though she couldn’t believe what she’d just said, or how I’d responded. “No, I mean… It’s not like I want to… It’s just that—”
“Oh hush up little… lady,” Autumn said, making eye contact with me just as she was undoubtedly about to call Daisy a cow again. “Everyone can see plainly that you want him. It’s only natural. He’s the Apex Hero. Even I can hardly wait to writhe upon his heroic shaft.”
My eyes bulged as my cheeks burned red-hot. I couldn’t believe the cavalierness of her words, and in such a public place. Not only that, but I found myself reappraising her body once again, suddenly wondering just how eager she was. When she’d pulled her stunt in the forest before, I thought it was all about grinding XP, but now that I saw the gleam in her eyes when she looked at me, I wasn’t so sure that was the entirety of it.
Still, damn. She was shameless. I looked around, embarrassed, confirming we were the only people in the room—which was mostly just a front desk with a few wooden tables at our backs where visitors likely chatted and ate breakfast. No one here now, though, thank God.
Daisy’s cheeks burned even redder than my own to be called out on her lust for me, but she didn’t back away. Instead, she buried her face in my shoulder and tightened her grip on my arm. This was decidedly not a denial. Progress!
Before anything else could be said, a pretty young thing with ram horns, goat ears, and cloven hooves charged loudly through the door. “Scalia! Two Great Wolves are after the sheep, and Silver Moon is out there alone! I’m helpless to do anything!’
Scalia grinned. “You’re in luck, turns out we have—”
I didn’t let her finish the introduction. “Take me there!” I said, lifting my axe off my hip.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Autumn’s little mouth open in surprise. “My, my,” she purred, almost erotically. “For someone who fashions himself so lazy and interested only in farming, you have quite the heroic instinct, Bucky Drake.” I could practically see the gears turning in her pretty little head. “Very interesting.”
A cry rang out, loud enough for us to hear even inside the inn.
“We’re out of time,” the girl shuddered through glittering tears, trembling in fear, but she peeled out of the door fast, and I followed her blindly into the fields where the Great Wolves hunted.
virgilknightley
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