My alternative life

In fact, when I chose the career of prison guard, I had thought that I would die in an unknown corner one day in the future, and then let the public identify that I would die in honor of my duty or in an accident. It's just self inflicted

Yes, I did think of these, and whenever I think of that scene, I feel I can't accept it, and then I tell myself over and over again, Jiang Feng, Jiang Feng, why are you so suggestive? Did you think that you would die before you finished your career? You are not a man. There are so many policemen. If everyone thinks like you, who will take the responsibility and join the glorious team that shoulders the responsibility of maintaining social stability and people's livelihood?

Therefore, whenever I am confused about what death will bring to my family, my thoughts will stop at this place, and then I will scold myself to the effect that, how can I have such thoughts? What is this? I should never worry and care about these things, I am too sentimental, too soft and weak

However, today, when I face the two piles of corpses in sacks that have been dismembered into rotten meat, my heart suddenly becomes painful and confused!

Even, I began to think about whether I was really suitable for the profession of judicial police?

I will die when I die, but what about those who love me? How will my relatives, my friends and my women miss me? Can they bear all this?

The cigarette had burned to the tip of my finger. As soon as I was excited, I threw the cigarette end directly to the ground, and then stepped on it fiercely. It seemed that only in this way could I vent my sense of shame and panic.

Silent for a long time, I have no answer, and even think that the head is a bit painful.

Mo Zhi dance didn't know when she appeared behind me. Her bright and soft body was covered with a piece of morning silk. She hugged my neck from behind and asked, "brother Feng, you're up. What are you thinking? Why doesn't it look too emotional? "

I nodded and answered, "yes, I'm in a bad mood."

"Why? Oh, brother Feng, are you worried about the next killers on the bounty hunter list, they are coming soon Are you worried about that? "

"Bounty hunter? Professional killer

I shook my head with a wry smile and said, "Zhi Wu, I forgot if you didn't mention this! Well, I turned out to be a sweet cake. A big wave of zombies are coming, waiting for my life

"What nonsense!"

Mo Zhi dance is very dissatisfied, "brother Feng, no more such nonsense! What do you mean? If you don't stab me, I'll feel sad and make others cry, then you won't be finished, will you? "

See Sassou yingzi Zhi dance said that her eyes will be red, I sigh no longer say sarcastic words, but how to promise to Jiang Shushan, and later, when I learned that the two secret agents who were caught by Liuzi gang had died, and even the complete body parts were not clear for a time, I suddenly confused, uncomfortable, began to suspect that I was involved in many fights It's very unwise, isn't it?

Well, to put it more bluntly, I don't want to be a policeman any more! I hardly wished to live.

was a criminal policeman, a police officer, a registered residence policeman, or a judicial policeman under different systems. I didn't want to do it. I was afraid that when the sun rose as usual, I would appear in front of my relatives in a state of rotten meat, and they would be all in pain.

Zhi dance sighed and said, "brother Feng, you are a demon. When did you have this idea?"

"I've had it for a long time," I said with a wry smile, "but I never thought about these situations before. I always felt that I would think about how to die before I made a career. This is a kind of cowardly performance. I don't want to be a coward But Zhiwu, oh, you don't know, when I learned that the secret service that I had to rescue had turned into two piles of rotten meat, my heart Alas, I don't know what to say. Suddenly, I have doubts about the nature and state of my work, and I feel that there is really nothing worthy of me to do at the risk of my life... "

"Well," Mo Zhi dance nodded and said, "brother Feng, I understand you In fact, I once met a situation similar to you, but at that time, my mother didn't want me to continue to engage in such a dangerous job. She couldn't bear to live in fear every day. She lived for ten days and a half months, or even half a year. She didn't know my situation, and didn't know whether I was alive or dead. Brother Feng, once when I went back on duty, my mother turned over and asked me In a word, brother Feng, do you want to know what she asked, and how do I answer? "

"Zhi dance, you say it, of course I want to know, but I have no mind to guess. If you have any words, just say it straight. Don't let me guess."

"Alas," Mo Zhi dance turned to me, caressed my face lovingly, shook her head and said, "when did my brother Feng become another person I didn't know? In my mind, you are resolute and resolute. Once you make up your mind, nine cows will never come back. You will never be so worried about gain and loss as you are now. "

I'm a little ashamed. Yes, what Mo Zhi dance says is my habitual state, and what's more, it's the image I show in front of people!Maybe, that's one of the reasons why I attracted her and fascinated her.

And now, all the senses and impressions are overturned. Overnight, I have a heart demon and become a coward.

"Brother Feng, my mother asked me, Zhiwu, if one day you die, do you think about our feelings? Do you know that if you die alone, the family will be scattered, your father and I will not live, and your grandfather will not live. Can't you think from our point of view? "

I nodded, have guessed that Mo Zhi dance mother's problem is roughly like this.

What makes me more concerned is how to answer this question?

Did she ever have a heart demon like me now?

"Brother Feng, when my mother asked this question, she was crying all the time. She told me that her third brother, who was also the third uncle I had never met, died in a special mission! Afterwards, the organization recognized the third brother as a martyr, and recorded his second-class merit once There is honor, but my mother and my grandmother have lived for a long time in a sad mood that they can't accept the departure of their close relatives. They can't extricate themselves at all. My mother said that grandma died of health reasons in her 60s, which has a lot to do with her third uncle's early death. "

I said yes, I can understand your mother.

Mo Zhi dance shook her head and said, "brother Feng, it's useless to understand. I just said a word to my mother at that time. I said, mom, these jobs always need to be done by someone, and I'm engaged in this work just to make more families not be fragmented because of losing their relatives I chose, so I have no regrets, and will stick to it! "