My Ex is my Bestfriend

I drowned myself with alcohol, to dull the ache that is constantly building up inside my heart. I should not have said that to her. That was the worst decision I had ever made.

But now I couldn't take it back. I have to find a way to appease her. No use on crying over spilled milk, they say. I want her to be mine. I don't want her to go. I want her to just stay with me, forever.

Was it wrong for me to request that to her? Was it really so hard to forget her ex? Because in all honesty, I can't help getting jealous. It's the primal instinct in me that I want to mark my territory.

I downed another glass, then another.

I am afraid, afraid that he could easily take her away from me, and I'll be here, helpless and alone. I don't want that. I don't.

I rubbed my face. "Urgh! I hate this feeling." And I downed the whole bottle of alcohol.

I found the world spinning. Huh, I'm drunk but why won't the pain go away?

"Cool things down my ass. I want to settle it now. Where could she probably be?"

I stood up to grab another bottle. I have to drown this pain, have to chase this pain away.

So I downed another, then another, until I can't think straight anymore.

I collapsed on the floor. "Need...to..cool...things...down...." I looked out the window. "Hmmm, I bet the outside is cold, I could cool there right now."

So I stood up groggily and then I took a stroll down the road, didn't even mind where this would lead me. People were throwing looks at me. I threw up the contents of my stomach near them as a revenge. Haha now this is exhilarating.

I arrived at a noisy place, the name I couldn't read because my vision's turning blurry. A group of funny-looking ladies approached me.

"Hey Sir, do you wanna unwind? Cool your head? Or just relax?"

"Cool my head?"

"Yes. We could offer you the best services out here."

Hmmm, this is what I need. "Okay. Where to?"

I heard them laughing. What is so funny? But I was dragged inside the noisy place. And inside of it was super bright. So many lights, too much smoke and noise. I don't like this place. But the ladies had a tight grip of me that I couldn't let go.

When we went inside a room, I smelled something sweet, fragrant. I was momentarily left in bliss and I felt so light and free. And so I gave up struggling and just went with them.

***Ethan***

I went out of the hospital, feeling happy for the first time in weeks. Children never fail to make me smile even if I hate them critters. Oh well I need sleep so here I am outside Cassidy's room, looking for ways to get inside because I placed the keys in I don 't know where. F*ck!

I'm thinking of just pushing my way through, but the door would probably be destroyed. Windows? Naaah I'm not Spider-man. Well, I'll just turn the knob and see if I have the super powers to open it from my own sheer will.


So I grabbed the door knob and turned. Eh? That easy? Well maybe Cassidy forgot to lock it earlier.

I went inside and locked the door, only to find Cassidy's haphazardly-arranged things on the center table, like they were just thrown there.

Wait, she's here? Or did she just deposit these things here? I made my way to the bedroom and sure enough she was there.

What is she doing here? I thought she'd be staying at her piece of shit of a boyfriend's place?

I approached the bed, carefully looking at her, assessing any sort of problems. I noticed that her nose, cheeks and the area around her eyes were a little wet. The pillow under her head has small wet stains. She was crying? Who made her cry? I'll make sure that he'll never see the light of day!

Just then, she stirred and I stilled. Her eyelids fluttered and then opened. She rubbed her eyes and they were trying to focus on things, until it zeroed on me.

I said awkwardly, "Uh hi."

"Ethan?" she said, in her f*cking sexy, bed voice.

Oh shit Cass, you don't know what you're doing to me. It's a good thing I'm sober or I might not control this.

I sat on the bed. "Hey. Why are you here? I mean yes this is your place, but I thought you'd be at-"

"We fought." she said sadly, hope lost in her eyes.

"Was it about of me?"

"A part of it. But it wasn't entirely about you. Maybe a clash of principles and stuff."'

"Oooohhh that's hard."

And then she was crying again. Oh shit shit. I laid down beside her and gathered her in my arms. "Cry Cassidy. If that's what you need right now, cry. I'll be here to listen and support you."

And yes she cried. Oh I hate seeing her cry like this, like something vital has been taken away from her. I heard her like this when we broke up, and I can't bear to hear that cry from her again. But here we are.

And so I did what I supposed would help her. I rubbed her back, her arms and her head to soothe her. Well I copied this move from her and it does wonders.

After some time, her river of tears turned to a spring until it all dried up, just a few sniffles here and there.

"There there. Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes. Thank you Ethan."

"Of course. Stay there, I'll get you some water."

"No." She grabbed the hem of my shirt. "Please stay with me. I don't want to be alone."

"But you need water-"

"There's water on your back."

I looked behind me, and sure enough there's a bottle of water on the bedside table. Still the same Cassidy.

I gave it to her and she drank from it in big gulps.

"Thanks Ethan."

"Would you stay by my side until I can sleep?"

"Sure. If that would make you feel better."

"Thanks." And she snuggled deep in my chest, towards my armpit.

I silently chuckled. Sure is the same Cassidy.

I watched her try to sleep, until her breathing turned slow and deep. And only one thing was running across mind before I was dragged to sleep too.

I would surely kill the person who made her cry. Because my heart breaks when I see her cry.

I would f*ckin' kill him.