My Ex is my Bestfriend

I was awoken from my reverie when I received a call.

* Unknown Caller ID calling *

Should I answer? Oh to hell with it!

"Hey Ethan. " How did I know? Of course I memorized his phone number. And surprisingly, I still remember it.

"Hey Cass! How are you? "

"Good. You? "

"Very fine yes. Hmm do you mind if we meet sometime this weekend? I'd like to watch a movie and I want you to be with me. " What the hell is this guy thinking? I believe he has someone new now so why is he asking me out?

"Why? " I blurted out. Gosh Cass very good.

"What why? "

"Hmm why me? Hahaha."

"Because... Will you please just stop making this awkward? Just go with me okay. Please? "

And because I am a soft-hearted person, I said yes. Pathetic. But I did say that. No turning back now Cassidy. No turning back.

"Cass, I'd better go. I still have work to do. Byee~"

----

I was trying to sleep that night. But failed, miserably. I tossed and turned around in my sheets, sat up and laid down again. I counted a thousand sheeps but my eyes won't just close. I played soothing music to calm my mind but it all failed me. No my mind is still so active. Maybe I'm just becoming more intelligent. Hahahaha I'm going crazy.

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh~!

And before I knew it, I was thinking back to that time when I felt so alone, so sad because of him.

It was the time after my graduation. I had a hard time looking for a job because I was just so tired, so tired of my life that I spent my whole time immersed in anime and manga and facebook videos. I found solace on those fictional, fantasy worlds. And I thought I did a good job about it when I encountered this facebook video.

The video was about, no, really I forgot what the video was about but nevertheless that video made me cry. Not the video itself, but on the comments. I have a habit of reading comments after watching a video. It's fun reading the views of other people and I wanted to know if there are others with the same humor wavelengths as I have. And what do you know, I found his name in the comments. He mentioned one of our school friend's name. And knowing him, he doesn't ever, ever, ever mention someone unless he's super close to that. And I've got this instinct that this is not just simple friendship, because they are not really friends. Just acquaintances. So how come? And my overly sensitive emotions back then jumped to conclusions. And I broke down. I cried my heart out so hard. Silently. I cried with no sound. Just tears and my hands were gripping the sheets so hard. I could feel my heart aching. So painful. I felt I was left behind. It was just over a month and he's had girls on his call. He has someone to talk to. And I, I am in here. Crying, with no one to lean onto. Alone. Sad. Dying.

I found my face and sheets wet. Maybe I was feeling sad for myself back then. For that pain I have felt before. Maybe I could have shared that pain to someone. But no, I didn't like the look on my friends' faces, I didn't want them to look at me with pity. And that's why I always cry alone. I isolate myself until the feeling's shoved down under the deepest, darkest corners of my heart, locked down and never opened. But I wonder if someday, something will happen and all these will burst out and swallow me whole.