My Navy Seal II: Undeniable Attraction

NICK

Anticipation starts to grow within my heart and I can not help as it starts to race not because Kim makes me excited this time but because of what I will find when I get home. Sometimes my mother is in a good mood and other times I can not even talk to her.

Sometimes she is like a zombie and other times she would even give me a hug hello. I have come to not blame her because she is permanently medicated because of the horrible things my father did to her.

It is clear to me that she wants to escape life and since she doesn't have any family left or any friends. She never sees the point to sober up. She never touches a drink because my dad drunk enough for the both of them.

So, when I mean that she had to sober up, I mean not taking so much medication. There were so many more times than I wished that my mother could just have a normal conversation with me. Sometimes I would come back from deployment and I just needed to talk to someone who knew me but she would usually not even acknowledge me.

Sometimes I wonder if she knows what I do for a living she never even asked me how my day has been. She never was like that because she always had to protect me against what my father did. So she would pretend like everything is okay but that stopped the moment that I got into college. Then she stopped pretending and she divorced my dad. It was like I did not even know my mother anymore.

It was more like she died. After that, I never saw my dad again. Until recently. I got a letter on the table when I came back from my last deployment. He wanted to see me but I tore up the letter and throw it away because I know if I am going to see him I might kill him. Now that I have the skills I might not hesitate. Because I know how to make it look like an accident.

Then we start to enter the town and I watch how interested she is in my town. She asks me all kinds of questions like where I would hang out when I was a little boy. The only thing I remember was my friend, Jack, and how we used to be in the street almost every day. He did not have the best parents in the world either. So, we kind of clicked almost immediately.

Then we will drive past a diner and she would laugh at the similarities between her town and my town. I must say that she is trying to make this trip seem light and easy but I know as soon as we get to my house things will not be so light.

KIM

I can see in his eyes as we get closer to his hometown that it is becoming even more difficult for him to stay happy. All this does is confirm my suspicions that he did not have the best childhood. I do not know what to find when we get to his house but it is clear that it is weighing heavily on his mind and heart.

Then we get to your house that doesn't look like it is has been well looked after. The grass is long and the garden is not maintained. It also looks like the house needs a fresh coat of paint and then I turn to look at Nick.

All of a sudden it is as if I am looking at a different man. The strong powerful with almost all authority man suddenly changed into a scared boy. But it is clear that this boy has built walls around his everything.

We turn into the driveway of this deserted house and the car stops but he does not take his hands off the wheel.

"Are you okay?"

Then it is as if he snaps back into reality and says with a calm voice.

"I am fine, why?"

I have heard him say fine so many times that I do not even think he knows what the word fine means. Luckily for me, I know exactly what he does mean by fine. I could start to convince him that is not fine but I somehow think that this is the way he copes with his family.

"Are you ready to meet my mom?"

"Yes, I am. Are you ready for me to meet your mom?"

NICK

I do not know why she had to be so clever in asking me that question in return. Of course, I want to scream at the top of my lungs that it is not okay that you meet my mother but I have decided to marry her and if she still wants to marry me after this then I know that I have chosen the right woman for me.

"I am ready, but there is something you need to know before we go through that door"

"And what is that?"

My heart is not pounding even more than before because now, I have to say it out loud what I did not want her to know.

"My mother she..."

I feel as my palms start to sweat and I know I am nervous as hell. But nevertheless, I continue.

"...she's a bit different than the normal everyday women you meet. She uhm..."

KIM

I can see that this is very difficult for him to say to me so I put my hand on his hand and starts to caress him with my thumb.

"Yeah?"

NICK

I feel her hand on my hand and suddenly I do not feel so alone anymore.

"She's on medication and she is not always with us. So, when I said she is different I mean that she would sometimes not even react when we are there. Do you still want to go in?"

KIM

It must be horrible to have a mom that does not even know when you are there or not. Only a little while ago I was throwing a hissy fit because I actually have someone that cares for me but that is not enough for me. He must think that I am a spoilt brat.

"Yes, I still want to go in. But I can promise you that this will not change my mind about you. I want to know everything about you and if this is your family then it is fine by me"

He takes a deep breath and then gets out of the car and walks around to open the door for me. He walks a bit in front of me and I get hold of his hand. Then he looks at my hand holding his hand and he smiles.

NICK

As I walk towards the door I feel Kim grabbing my hand and it is a different feeling than what I usually feel when I walk through this door. This time I am not alone and I am loving it.

As we get to the door I knock on the door and then open it to walk inside. Not to my surprise, she is sitting in the living room in front of the television just the way that I left her. I look at the table in the lobby and I see that her mail has not been opened.

I just glance at Kim to see if she is freaked out yet but she walks around as if she is inspecting the pictures on the wall. Then I get her attention and gesture where my mother is sitting. We start to walk in her direction.

KIM

I watch as this woman is sitting on a comfortable chair in front of the television. I think of how horrible it must have been when Nick was just a boy. How is it that a mother can just stop caring about her own flesh and blood? Of course, just like Nick has taught me not to jump to conclusions, I open my mind to what I might find here. 

But as we get closer to the woman I feel Nick holding my hand even tighter. This must be really devastating to him as he is not a man to gets scared.

"Mom, I'm home..."

The woman does not even react to his voice or our presence. She just keeps on staring at the television. Then he continues as if she heard what he was saying.

"... I brought someone home today. She is the woman that I'm going to marry..."

I watch him as his eyes are filled with hope that she might react to what he is saying but she does nothing. We wait for a little while just to see if we can get any kind of reaction out of her but nothing.

Then I look back at Nick again and I see the severe disappointment in his eyes. He probably wanted some kind of reaction from her.. Immediately my heart breaks into a thousand pieces.