[But in my opinion, it's a lifetime experience to have someone who you'd jump down a cliff for 'case that kind of attachment is something else ]

"See, no matter how much I will love someone, or how much I am attached to someone I am not idiotic enough to jump off a cliff just because they told me to. This girl was stupid, I am not. I can't do this"

"Well, I am ready to take a bullet for my friend if the time comes to save him or myself, I will sacrifice myself if at least my loved one will be able to live," Devon said.

"The one for whom you are ready to take a bullet for…. Sometimes they are the ones behind the trigger..."

"No, I mean. I-"

"Let it be, Devon. If the time came and we are about to die, I will fight for myself, save you guys if possible or die with you"

"Why die?"

"Cause I wanna die"

"W- why?"

"Even if I have a chance to escape, I will stay there, end my life with you guys, I don't want a proper death"

"Why but?!"

"I don't have any reason to live anymore, if you guys are my reason to live if you are not there I will not deliberately give my life but if the time comes and I am about to die, I won't miss the chance to end my life"

"Seriously? Just because of us?"

"Just because of you," I nodded. 

*****

"Alright. I am sleepy" Gwen got up, "Let's stop here for today, shall we? It's midnight"

"Oh, right. The time flew away without us knowing"

"I fucking realized what time it was when my eyes started feeling fucking heavy"

"Yeah, let's go sleep"

"Okay then. Devon pulled his covers over his head"

"I will go to my room today" I got up from the bed.

"I will be in my room then" Doc got up too. We didn't even give each other a look before disappearing into opposite sides. 

After what happened last night, I don't wanna sleep in the same rooms as her. Who knows when she will drop on my bed again. I wonder if it was intentional or not.

*****

[ because of the way you are let's just say it is my attitude towards you as a friend ]

[ just how fucked up is that?! ]

[ that's what I am saying you have a lot of people to talk to unlike me who just have you and my brother (who's not even online for months)

As you have a lot of other people just let me sleep and go talk with them ]

[ stop trying to get out of the situation- and I am telling you no matter how best a group of friends could beans how outgoing I can be and a whole huge number of people I can text…. Not even one could surpass you ]

"Is not she sweet? Using those words"

[ I don't know why you don't believe in me just what did I do that you lost all the trust you even had in me?! ]

[ if anyone surpasses me or not it's not a problem the problem lies with you having the best group of friends and how outgoing you can be and a whole huge number of people you can text, just why do you have all this? 

It's unfair how I only have you and you have all of them it's just unfair ]

"A lot happened man. Seriously a lot of things happened. I don't even wanna go in deep with those shit"

"It's okay"

"I will just take you to the part where we broke up"

[ Ewrites: oh god 81+ texts again, what do you want? ]

[ Just as I expected you were annoyed at me for sending these many texts anyone will be and the last "What do you want" ugh I guess you are busy ]

"What? You sent her that many texts?"

"Yeah…. I was sad, after what she said, she just left chat and I was not able to stay at still so I kept texting her till she came online again"

"I texted her about, I wanna be with her, I wanna take care of her, I wanna love her, I wanna understand her, I wanna be love-Dovey with her, etc. shit" 

[ Ewrites: I was not exactly annoyed but I am short on time and am pissed that I don't have my laptop ]

[ I seriously don't know but you seem cold towards me and ugh mad I messed up everything ]

[ sigh now you wanna go back to how we were? ]

[ no, I want to be better than how we were ]

[ we started off in the best way possible, try reading our old texts ]

[ I don't even know if you like me anymore or not ]

[ I am the biggest stupid out there to give you a second chance, so do whatever you want with it ]

[ you sound like you don't mean it I am sorry really ]

[ Alright, you're sorry, I get it. ] 

[ seriously, are you okay? ]

[ I won't say I am fine ]

[ you wanna know about my decision, right? ]

[ yeah right. Knowing the fact that I haven't got your trust, respect and love anymore sucks totally sucks ]

[ Look, I am not being cold, alright? But I wanna be honest, I would not be here if I didn't like you ]

[ even after what I did? I really am not that kind of a person ]

[ how can I believe it, seriously? I mean you just went, 'Yeah, I am toxic, manipulative, and hella selfish so what? I won't change this is how I am ]

[ what is your decision? You never said it ]

[ right now, Soofy said I should not trust you, I should have just dumped you ]

"My whole body was burning hot, my ears were burning, my heart was beating so fast that I thought it might just come out of my throat"

[ haha ]

[ And that toxic people should be thrown out of my life ]

[ and I know you are not going to do that ]

[ Okay suppose I am not, give me a reason not to ]

[ I don't have a reason you can go ahead and do as Soofy says who'd trust me after what I did ]

[ The 'us' we've got here, is on the edge of a cliff ]

[ Just push it down the cliff, just dump me seriously ]

[ So…. we're not gonna have the best wifi? ]

[ I feel we are nerve gonna be how we used to be ]

[ A big window frame? ]

[ ...what? ]

[ low cabinets in case I stay short? ]

[ that just- melted my heart- ugh- ]

[ I am still deciding what to do… ]

[ If you have to choose between accepting me and letting me go then I prefer you just ditch me ]

[ why ]

[ never want to be a choice in someone's life. Ditch me, after what I did no one would want to be with me anyway ]

"Why were you doing this?"

"Cause I thought no matter what I say she will not ditch me"

"Idiot"

[ hey, you want me to leave you? ]

[ do you want me? ]

[ so you don't want me to leave you, right ]

[ right never ]

[ do you love me? ]

[ when did I even stop loving you? ]



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