Negative -Girls: To Live And Die

Well, this isn't doing well as I expected. But again what am I expecting, to fight in something that they're good at--I feel just like I've had a match with a chess grandmaster. It's just like I'm fighting a bear with my hand and I'm no warrior.

It's a huge mistake.

But I can't give up. Yet.

I should anyway. There's not really a point to continue this torture.

Sharp Eyes had beaten me last round with 30[]4, and you could guess which one was me. Yep, you can guess which was my point. And now Nerdy takes off her ass from the seat as she snorts, "not even close."

So this is how we're doing this. If I can beat one of the members of the YOLO squad I can have their position in the game later. Meaning, I get to stay with Carrie with everyone's consent.

But now that win is not looking so bright now.

I glance at the defeat screen and my mouth lets out a sigh escapes, "well, this is hopeless."

Carrie laughs hearing my downy side, "Serve you right."

But behind her there's a whole group of humans laughing. A a a a a a a a a aa a a a a a a aa a a a a a a a a a a a aa a a a a a a a.

I just closed my ear and focused on listening to what's real. What did Carrie says again?

a a a aaa a a a a a a a a a.

She said it served me right. Okay, thinking of reply now. Reply detected. Reply confirm.

"I guess I am," I replied. I shouldn't have played this game against them. Apparently my aim sucks. I thought my aim was better than this but now I realise that aiming right at the hole in a toilet seat can't be compared with aiming guns at a target. So much I have to learn. And here I thought I was perfect. They thought I was perfect. I am. My aim is already perfect this way. Everything you thought was a flaw now, think again? Would it be good if flaws really a good thing?

"I guess I am," I replied. I shouldn't have played this game against them. Apparently my aim sucks. I thought my aim was better than this but now I realise that aiming right at the hole in a toilet seat can't be compared with aiming guns at a target. So much I have to learn. And here I thought I was perfect. They thought I was perfect. I am. My aim is already perfect this way. Everything you thought was a flaw now, think again? Would it be good if flaws really a good thing?

a a a a a a aa a a a a a a a.

Shut up.

Like these 'things.' They have a flaw. They are not real. It wouldn't be good if they were. No. These things are going to torture someone else other than me if that's the case. And the others can't just kill themselves and live again.

Though I envy that.

What am I saying?

Back to what matters now. The game.

It turns out...

It turns out the only strategy I know is camping. And that got me called a coward through the whole game. But hey, at least I get some kills out of it. I don't think I would have any, if I just came out like a real man, I'd only get one shotted by them.

I'm keeping this strategy.

"You should go back home already," Carrie says, crossing her arm as she looks at my screen. "Apparently, my team is not that disappointing."

I look at Fatty squeezing out the last drop of the soda. I got beaten by Nerdy and Sharp eyes but, "There's one more."

Carrie touches her head as she sighes, "Oh come on, man. Do you really think you can beat her? Last I remember she is better than those two that had beat you."

I shrug, "I take every chance."

Who knows, maybe there's a chance for Fatty suddenly to have a heart attack or lose her hands. Either way, it'd give me a better chance to win. Always take every chance.

I wouldn't regret anything anyway.

Carrie groans and glares at Fatty, "Fine, it's your time now, get on with it."

Fatty gives Carrie a wry smile, "Su--sure."

Out of all of them, Fatty seems evidently most afraid. Her dumpy cheeks were wet and her hands trembling. Carrie doesn't say anything about it, either she doesn't realise or she just couldn't care.

Fatty takes a deep breath and jolts up when a hand grips her shoulder.

Sharp Eyes gives her serious eyes, "do well."

That wasn't a wish of good luck from a friend. That is an order from a leader. Or boss. Or Queen. Or god. Depends on how much Fatty admires Carrie. I wouldn't worship her, but that also depends. If she gives me something AWESOME for my service

"I'll try."

"What do you mean you'll try?"

"I'm sorry."

"Win."

And Fatty just nods.

…

That's not fair. No one wishes me good luck. I got no support.

"Wish you bad luck," Carrie says as she looks at my screen.

I shrug, Thank you."

I stretches my finger as the screen shows the game starts.

…

The game would end in ten minutes and we are already in the seven minutes mark.

The score.

Oh, it's surprising.

It's a fucking surprise.

4[]6.

And I am the one leading the score by six.

How could this happen?

I thought they were supposed to be a pro gamer.

Maybe it's just luck but…

I glance at Fatty.

She is sweating and biting her lips as if it's chewable.

The other two look at her screen horrified.

Or angry.

Carrie is biting her nails as she glares at my score, "how could this happen?"

If I have to guess.

It's not luck.

It's intentionally.

Fatty is letting me kill her.

Why?

Fatty drops her head midair close to the keyboard.

"Please, pause." She begs.

How do I do that?

Claire snorts, "all right, give her some time. Heh, I thought she was the best among them. What a joke. If she continues like this she is better be replaced, " she looks at me, "pause the game."

Wait, you could pause?

The screen freezes as the window pops out saying, your opponent has paused the game (2 minutes.)

What the fuck.

I exhaled a hot breath and slumped my back on the chair.

If I won I get to replace Fatty as a member of the YOLO squad. Which is not my plan and annoying. I don't want to be a gamer. I just want to keep Carrie close as possible. So I could see where she went, what she wanted, who she liked, hated, and how she died. It's all important information to me.

"I couldn't do this," Fatty grumbles, "maybe we all should stop."

"Fatty…" Nerdy touches her forehead.

And Sharp Eyes doesn't like anything Fatty had said, "fuck that. It's already too late to stop. We already said we're in."

"But--"

"No but Fatty."

She glances at me lethally, "if he replaces you everything would change.

"So win.

"We're doing this together."

The scene looks as if other normal e-sport friendship and support situation but I know better. Something is going on. Something other than sportsmanship and friendship drives them. And I know that look on their faces. They are wearing the face of a regrettable.

The game starts back.

And this time is different.

"Fuck."

10 minutes.

5[]10

I lose.

As for how Fatty plays, Carrie was wrong. She plays a lot better than the other two at least in my opinion.

"Huh," Carrie lets out a chuckle, "if you're this good then why were you losing in the early game?"

Fatty returns a wry laugh, "I--I was trolling."

The other sighs a relief.

"Well, you're lucky you didn't get to be replaced."

Sharp Eyes pats Fatty's back, "thank you."

Woah that was weird, what are you thanking him for? Beating my ass?

"We're doing this together," she mutters.

I don't have the time to deduce anything from that as I still yet get my losing reaction from Carrie.

I look at her, waiting.

"What?"

"Er…no insult, nothing?"

"You lose, you suck, you are still noobish face."

I shrug, 'saw that one coming'."

"So fuck off."

I get up from my seat.

"I'll leave you four alone."

Carrie smiles, "that's what I like to hear,"

"But I'm hanging out with Fuck."

"..."

I turn away from the speechless Carrie and walk toward Fuck.

Carrie shouts from behind, "what the fuck! I thought you said you'd leave?"

"I am. Leaving you four alone. But not Fuck."

And with that I get the excuse to stay in the cyber cafe just for a little while but at what cost? Standing in front of the counter and fuck, awkwardly.

"Nice day?" Fuck asks.

"A terrible fucking day."