North x Northwest

His plea was as small as a breath. It was the kind of breath that wouldn’t even blow a wind, nevertheless, it was sharp enough to cut the rope that kept Lil’s ship on course. In an instant, the bow, which had lost its support, tilted in a semicircle. As her ship became disoriented and turned around, Lil faced Ed. However, she was able to speak up easily. There were so many things she wanted to ask and say that she didn’t know where to begin. That was why she paused and pondered for a moment before uttering her first words.

“Since when have you known?”

“What?”

“…”

Even without Lil’s answer, Ed seemed to realise what she meant. His gaze fell slowly. As he closed his mouth again, he touched Lil’s braided hair. 

‘Liloa’s hair is much longer than Lil Schweiz’s.’

His confident voice whispered.

“…You saw the drawing…”

“…”

In the hazy light, the admiral’s sober face seemed to smile.

“Do you know how I was able to draw it?”

“…”

“I ‘saw’ you, the real you. I was unbearably happy when I finally saw you for who you are while no one else did. I almost went crazy because of that extraordinary joy. But as the days went on, I had no choice but to be immersed in what could’ve been the reason… Do you have any idea about the betrayal I felt for you, who not only deceived me but also yourself?..”

“…”

The voice, which had been getting louder, abruptly cut off.

“…What does it mean that you’re still here, despite discovering that?..”

“…”

His voice, which had slowed down as he tried to catch his breath, was muffled and sounded almost hoarse.

“…What does it mean that you haven’t run away yet?..”

“…”

‘….What does it mean?’ 

Lil was shaken and unable to get her mind together. 

‘I don’t even know if it’s right that I’m standing and facing Ed. I’m completely off course now. It’s as if the sea is turning… I’m not sure either… I have no idea what I’m supposed to think or what I’m meant to do.’

“Is this what it means?”

Ed raised his arm and pulled Lil by the waist. His other hand cupped one of her cheeks before brushing his fingers over her hair and wrapping the nape of her neck. As Ed came closer, he looked her straight in the eyes. Although Lil avoided him by lowering her gaze, he didn’t stop. For a moment, their breaths entwined till his lips touched hers and sucked her in. 

A hot tongue licked her lower lip.

‘Ed is embarrassingly soft. It’s like it doesn’t suit him, I can’t believe this, but…’

Suddenly, Lil came to her senses. The realisation of where she was, who she was, and what she was doing struck her like a bolt of lightning. Her body froze for a split second in embarrassment. With her eyes wide open, Lil looked up at Ed’s closed ones.

As she flinched and tried to jerk her neck backwards, Ed stopped. However, Lil wasn’t satisfied with the small distance between them and pushed him away completely. Nonetheless, her perplexity persisted. She wasn’t embarrassed by their unexpected kiss. Instead, she was embarrassed by the fact she didn’t despise it. Lil expected it to be disgusting and creepy, but it wasn’t. 

Lil stuttered, her eyes still widened due to the belated shock.

“You… you! Are you crazy?”

“That’s what you always say to me, but is that not a fait accompli*?” 

‘Right. From the moment I first saw him, I thought he was a little crazy, but now I know he’s definitely crazy. Meaning I have nothing to say, his mental state has always been consistently abnormal.’ 

Lil wanted to be the saner person and tried to recall what they were talking about.

“Does the fact that I’m still here, after seeing that drawing of me, give you the right to behave like this?”

“Then why are you here?”

“I…”

“And why did you claim that the ordre of Ior was my threat towards you? Where did that confidence come from?”

‘Damn it.’ 

Lil realised she had made a huge mistake. Back then, she was still immersed in the story Levi had told her and all those suspicious events just happened right after, resulting in Lil drawing conclusions on her own. But now, after having made such a huge mistake, she had no idea how to get out of this situation, which started to resemble flowing water leaking everywhere. Lil had never been this embarrassed in front of anyone in her life. 

‘I didn’t even say anything, but how did he freely define my feelings and even said them out loud? How did he do that? What do I do now? What am I going to gain if I’m an open book from the start?’ 

While her thoughts wandered, Ed’s fingers approached again and gently swept over Lil’s cheek.

“Did the song sound like a request for an ardent courtship?”

The casual remark made her face flush. She wanted to dismiss it as nonsense, but Lil’s body reacted sensitively contrary to what she expected. Blood rushed all over the body, and her heart pounded with a throbbing squeeze.

Ed pretended to tuck some of Lil’s loose hair behind her ear only to pull the nape of her neck again. However, Lil immediately raised her hand to cover Ed’s mouth. She pushed it hard. 

‘A rejection or not, it doesn’t change the fact that this situation is very, very undesirable. This is the admiral’s lair, and I’m a pirate captain. This is a very, very immoral way to act.’ 

Lil wanted to speak properly, but her swollen mouth could only swallow air and not produce a sip of language. 

‘Until just now, it was obviously desirable for us to kill each other, so how did this happen? Courtship? What courtship? I’m here to negotiate!’ 

The determination that had been spleen ended up scattered like waves crashing against a rock. White foam bubbled up in Lil’s head until the approaching water bubbles covered her eyes.

Ed spoke as he removed Lil’s hand.

“You have such bottomless determination, but I have just as much.”

“…”

He then brought her hand to his lips. 

“And this is actually my field of expertise.”

Ed’s hot breath soaked her fingers. The sensation of his lips kissing them and his tongue licking them gave her goosebumps. His lips twisted, making a soggy sound as he bit her knuckles. Ed opened his closed eyes and looked at Lil. His eyes shone through the narrow gaps. The moment she met his gaze, Lil pulled her hand out. But at the same time, she realised it was too late. She still needed to save her face though, so she spoke quickly.

“I made a mistake. I’m sorry for misunderstanding. It has nothing to do with me whether you played the ordre for someone else to hear or because you simply liked playing it alone. So now…”

“But what if it wasn’t a misunderstanding?”

“…”

“So don’t worry about it now, and don’t refuse this anymore.”

Ed only got closer. The breath he exhaled temptingly tickled Lil’s cheeks. He paused, as though searching for any signs of her refusal, but when Lil didn’t avoid him, their lips immediately engaged again.

The sweet scent of his wine enveloped her tongue. It was so lukewarm it felt thrilling. Ed’s chest, which came closer upon embracing her body, swelled beneath her forearms, and the more he approached, the more their legs intertwined. Lil could feel his knee pressing between her thighs. The tingling of her keen senses flared her up. Her legs reflexively twitched upon feeling a tug on her lower stomach, and Ed’s grasp on Lil’s arm tightened even more upon noticing that it stimulated her. At a moment’s breathlessness, Lil suddenly realised that she was in Ed’s arms without any resistance… 

She then forcibly removed her arms from his chest, hit his shoulder and started to shout.

“Get away!”

Hesitating at first, Ed muttered as he pulled himself back.

“…I think your refusal came a bit too late…”

Every time Ed spoke, the languid aroma of wine flowed. It seemed that Lil, too, was getting drunk on the alcohol. The heartbeat she had barely suppressed showed signs of speeding up again. Lil clenched her neck whereas Ed smiled lazily as he opened his eyes. 

‘The madman in front of me is toying with me!’ 

Lil thought to herself. 

‘He’s nothing but a vicious bastard. A stranger I shouldn’t deal with. This was only a trap! It’s because of his handsome face!’

“What are you doing? What the hell! Stop it! Stop!”

Lil swung her hands wildly to slap him. She didn’t have enough muscle strength, so slapping him was better and more effective than punching him with her fists. 

Ed stepped back, raising his arms and pretending to block himself.

“What?”

But Lil advanced with her fierce offence.

“You! You pervert!”

“That’s what you always say. But isn’t that a fait accompli* too?”

“Damn it! Damn it!”

“Still, I think it was a gentlemanly perversion.”

Ed, ironically, never got hit right, so he didn’t mind and answered back in a playful manner while dodging Lil’s palms.

“You’re losing yourself in gentlemanly perversion, while my crew is back in Gualtiero?! How can you do this to me? Don’t involve me in your shameless act! I! I came here to negotiate, not to rub lips with you!”

– – – – –

Footnote:

Fait accompli: a thing that has already happened or been decided before those affected hear about it, leaving them with no option but to accept it. The phrase fait accompli is French, and it literally means “an accomplished fact”. (truth, certainty,  cold hard facts, etc.)