Pain Fetish

“Hey, slow down, slow down…”

“It’s too fast, gege, baby, slow down—”

“Alright!” Fu Ge interrupted Qi Han with a smile, raised his hand and painted a green line on his face, “How long are you going to scream anyway? Those who don’t know will think I’ve done something to you.”

The only thing he did was to let Qi Han hold his wrist to draw a picture, and Qi Han couldn’t help trembling nervously, whether it was fast or slow, for fear of messing up Fu Ge’s painting. In the end, he painted a little bear crookedly.

“I’m nervous, I’m afraid I’ll mess it up for you.”

He was sitting on the hospital bed, with Fu Ge wrapped in his arms, one of his hands on his little Beta’s stomach, rubbing it, and the other, trembling, holding Fu Ge’s wrist.

The setting sun dyed the sky red, and the evening breeze was quiet.

Such serene days were too rare for them, and both of them had smiles in their eyes and on their lips.

Qi Han hugged the man in his arms, rested his chin in the nook of Fu Ge’s neck, closed his eyes and rubbed contentedly, “Gege teaches me to draw, and when I learn to draw, I will take you to draw with me, so that you don’t have to put in a little effort.”

He was so much like a docile golden retriever. Fu Ge leaned back onto his chest, raised his head and kissed the tip of his nose, “See for yourself what you’ve drawn. If you take me to draw with you, we’ll both have to starve to death.”

Qi Han stifled a laugh, “Dislike me, huh?”

He grabbed Fu Ge’s chin and kissed him several times before he was satisfied and let him go.

As a result, when they separated, the peach-coloured lips of the little Beta were trembling. The Alpha’s eyes darkened suddenly, he raised his hand and took off the glasses he had just put on, lowered his head and kissed fiercely again.

“Ugh— why are you still…”

Qi Han breathed heavily: “Not enough.”

He could firmly confine Fu Ge with just one arm, and his big hand came from behind to cup Fu Ge’s chin, occasionally tickling the soft flesh as he muttered in a muffled voice: “Baby, so comfortable…”

From the beginning of their relationship at the age of eighteen to the present, they had only had each other.

Two pieces of ignorant white paper coloured each other. Whether it was tender caress or sweaty passion, they slowly explored each other’s bodies. They were familiar with all the sensitive points of each other and could elicit the most sultry response.

It was impossible for Qi Han not to love Fu Ge. This was the lover who taught him and learned from him little by little, and his gege who tolerated all his waywardness and villainous behaviour.

The little Beta didn’t push him away. His body softened almost immediately. He opened his mouth to let the Alpha probe in and put his arms around Qi Han’s shoulders, “Be gentle… I can’t breathe…”

Qi Han’s kisses were always breathtaking, rough and strong, and so eager that he didn’t give Fu Ge time to breathe, and once they started it was hard to stop.

This was probably a common problem for all possessive Alphas.

Not wanting to make his little Beta uncomfortable, Qi Han resisted his desire and let him go. By that time, Fu Ge was already soft in his arms.

His bright and clear almond eyes were hazy with a thin layer of mist, and there were tears hanging from his thick eyelashes. He looked over angrily, and then flattened his moist lips: “Why are you biting so hard…”

Qi Han’s breath hitched suddenly, and he was so obsessed that he was about to lose his mind.

“Delicate baby,” he couldn’t hold back and kissed Fu Ge’s lips again, then leaned closer and nudged the tip of his nose, “Like jelly…”

Fu Ge ignored him, lowered his head, leaned on his chest and gasped for breath. He was adjusting his breathing sullenly like a lost kitten, so cute that Qi Han’s heart was itchy.

“Did you just drink the snow pear juice?” Qi Han asked, nibbling on his numb lips.

“Agh.” Fu Ge bit his fingers, “They said you told me to drink it.”

“Your throat is a bit sore, drink it to feel better.”

As Qi Han said that, he kissed the tips of Fu Ge’s ears, first one and then the other, and the soft fluffy hair on the top of his head. Even his shoulders were lightly bitten through the hospital gown.

If you could get arrested for too many kisses, Qi Han estimated he would have to spend the rest of his life in jail. Fu Ge laughed when his back was kissed, “You’re not done, are you? It’s already past five o’clock.”

Qi Han laughed softly, kissing the tip of his nose and the side of his face while laughing. His voice was full of affection and attachment, and he was still fooling around: “I don’t know what’s going on, I can’t help it when you’re so well-behaved.”

“I want to hold you all the time, coax you, never let you suffer, never make you sad. It’s good not to do anything, just be happy every day, with my baby sleeping peacefully in my arms for the rest of his life.”

He took Fu Ge’s hand, gently pressed it to his cheek, closed his eyes and kissed his ring finger. “Xiao Ge, I don’t even know how to love you…”

“When I was taken away by the police on the wedding day, I thought about jumping out of the car and getting killed. When I was kidnapped by the gland hunters, I really wanted to shoot myself. Several times I felt that I couldn’t go on. I was very tired and it hurt. I wanted you so badly, but you refused to even look at me…”

It was never the pain and hardships that Fu Ge gave him that made him desperate and feel that his life was worse than death; it was just that his lover didn’t love him.

Knowing that Fu Ge didn’t love him, he didn’t dare to fight for anything anymore. He just made amends in silence, repented in silence, watched in silence, and walked to death in silence.

He was like a silent tree, rooted in the most distant barren land, quiet for years and years. And only when Fu Ge finally looked up did he realise that what had been sheltering him from the sand and wind were the tree’s dense, luxuriant branches.

From the second Qi Han knew the truth, he didn’t need Fu Ge to take any more steps towards him.

As long as the little Beta was willing to call softly, the brave and enthusiastic big dog would hold its own leash in its mouth, break through all obstacles and rush to its owner at the fastest speed, begging him to touch its head.

There was no turning back for the arrow that had been shot, and Qi Han would spend his life running towards his gege.

Fu Ge looked into his eyes, silent for a long time, and suddenly smiled. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse, and he couldn’t hide the tears in the corners of his eyes: “Do you know when I hated you the most in the seven months of revenge against you?”

Qi Han was taken aback for a moment, and said blankly: “In the unfinished building… when I was bullying you?”

Fu Ge: “No.”

“Then it was when I said your body was lewd?”

The little Beta laughed, “Nope.”

Qi Han couldn’t guess it anymore, and asked cautiously, “When was that?”

Fu Ge said, “It was when you committed suicide.”

Five years ago, when you ruined me, I loved you the most.

Five years later, when you were going to leave me forever, I hated you the most.

His personality might have become gloomy, and his emotions might have been distorted, but no one could ask a living person to remain confident and sunny after experiencing such things. When the bitter love and the monstrous hatred were both caused by the same person, there was no one who wouldn’t go crazy.

Revenge on Qi Han became Fu Ge’s only faith that made him persevere, and he even planned to be buried with Qi Han after everything was over. In any case, he didn’t want to stay alone in this world.

Fortunately, in the end, Qi Han pulled him back.

Time and love can heal everything.

“You said you don’t know how to love me, but that’s what I want to say too.”

Fu Ge raised his head; his eyes, clear like the blue ice sea, were filled with Qi Han’s tiny reflections. He said word by word: “I’ve hated you for too long, and I don’t know how to love you anymore, so I’m very unskilled now. You have to wait for me, ah.”

“Don’t be cautious, let alone suffer from gains and losses.” He took the seal and printed a little bear on Qi Han’s forehead, smiled and said, “My Mr. Bear Cub must hold his head high, waiting for me to love him properly.”

The “executioner” will never forget his crimes, because he has to spend his life to compensate; but the “victim” has slowly let go of his pain, because he wants to love each other equally.

After wasting half their lives, they finally achieved perfection.

It was long after five o’clock; the setting sun was swallowed up by the night, and the two people on the hospital bed were still intertwined.

Fu Ge leaned into Qi Han’s arms, his sweaty forehead pressed against Qi Han’s shoulder, and soft hums escaped from his hoarse throat from time to time.

“Ah Han, stop kissing… Xiao Jue is about to wake up…”

Qi Han was still kissing the skin behind his ears, sometimes lightly, sometimes heavily, and Fu Ge’s cheeks and the tip of his nose were already rubbed red. Qi Han laughed when he heard his words and coaxed perfunctorily: “Good boy, just a little longer.”

Both of them were fully clothed, and Qi Han had never touched Fu Ge below the neck, but the little Beta’s body was so sensitive that he closed his eyes and trembled even from this touch.

“Don’t go too far…” Fu Ge pursed his lips pitifully. He looked both aggrieved and intoxicated. His speech was already a little slurred, and he leaned against Qi Han’s shoulder like a kitten, slowly rubbing against him, pouting and pushing him: “Ah Han… don’t, don’t kiss… later it’ll be swollen, I can’t see people…”

Qi Han bit the tip of his ear evilly, “Then don’t.”

Perhaps it was an attachment disorder, or perhaps the Alpha’s perverted possessiveness was fueled. Five years ago Qi Han was extremely fond of kissing, practically a kissing maniac. Usually he could converge, but the bad Alpha had gotten worse since they started sharing the apartment. Playing games, reading books, eating, sleeping… No matter what Qi Han did, he had to hold Fu Ge in his arms, hug him and nibble on him again and again. During Double Eleven (November 11, the day of big discounts in online shops), the most consumed goods in their family except for the little umbrellas (condoms) was the ointment for the lips, which made Fu Ge feel sweet and embarrassed. 

With a ragged soft grunt, Qi Han touched the little Beta’s trembling leg.

“No—” Fu Ge whimpered and buried his face in Qi Han’s shoulder, his cheeks burning red. He was like a little rabbit caught by the ears, at the mercy of others, motionless.

Qi Han smiled, rubbed gently against the top of his head, and asked in a low voice, “Want me now?”

The second button of the hospital gown was unbuttoned, and Fu Ge hugged his arm and squeezed out a nasal sound: “Um…”

“So good.” Qi Han held him on his lap, put his warm palm on Fu Ge’s lower abdomen and rubbed the scar.

He didn’t dare to take any risks, so he asked Fu Ge first: “Does it still hurt here?”

Fu Ge shook his head, his warm face pressed against Qi Han’s neck, “I’m fine, I lied to you before, it didn’t hurt that much.”

“It’s good it doesn’t hurt.” Qi Han nudged the tip of his nose, “Did the doctor check you in the past few days when I was in a coma?”

When he said that, the corners of Fu Ge’s mouth suddenly froze. He seemed to be thinking of something, and his brows furrowed, as if he was unhappy.

Qi Han looked at him, amused, “What’s the matter? Why are you unhappy?”

Fu Ge: “Checked.”

Qi Han was anxious, “Isn’t the result good? What did the doctor say?”

Fu Ge’s eyes dodged, his face expressionless, and he said with certainty: “I think the doctor is of average level, so you don’t need to listen to him.”

“What kind of words are those?” Qi Han smiled helplessly and pinched his cheek, “Don’t make trouble, what did he actually say?”

Deflated, Fu Ge confessed honestly: “The doctor said that it is still recovering, and we can’t do it for a few months.” After some struggle, he continued: “But I don’t feel anything uncomfortable, he should be lying to me.”

When he said this, he frowned and his face was full of certainty, as if the doctor would really make up lies just to keep him from being intimate with his mate. His depressed look of unwillingness to believe was very cute.

Qi Han couldn’t help laughing, took him in his arms and turned him around: “Are you unhappy because of this?”

Fu Ge was embarrassed to admit it, but there seemed to be no way to deny it.

His body had been empty for too long, and he was so sensitive that he had already made a fool out of himself several times just by being touched by Qi Han.

His waist was squeezed twice, and Qi Han leaned to his ear and asked in a low voice, “Is it uncomfortable?”

Fu Ge refused to look up, buried his face in the Alpha’s neck and rubbed against it, but what he said was innocent and honest: “I miss you…”

Qi Han kissed the top of his head, “Little greedy cat.”

The hug slowly tightened; the Alpha contentedly buried his face in Fu Ge’s hair and sniffed it, his gentle tone full of uncountable love and joy: “Xiao Ge, you don’t need to be shy about such things. Before, you would throw up when you smelled me, but now you take the initiative to say you miss me. You don’t know how happy I am. I will give you everything you want.”

He slowly put Fu Ge on the bed, turned the temperature of the air conditioner up, and carefully released his pheromones. Before kissing him again, he said, “Don’t be afraid. If we can’t do it, there are other ways to make gege comfortable. What do you want me to do?”

The little Beta was already shy; he grabbed his own shirt to cover his eyes, his lips trembling as he blurted out a vague word.

Qi Han laughed dotingly and pinched the tip of his nose, “I’ll give you everything you want.”

…… ……

After all, his body hadn’t fully recovered yet, and he couldn’t stand tossing and turning. In the end, Fu Ge fell asleep.

When the little Ah Jue ran into Qi Han’s ward, rubbing his eyes, Fu Ge was held in Qi Han’s arms, sleeping deeply. The Alpha was still reading a German picture book softly, and his expression was as gentle as a stream of water.

Seeing the little guy at the door, he was a little surprised. After slowly putting Fu Ge on the bed, he asked softly: “Are you looking for your daddy?”

Ah Jue nodded and asked in a not-so-proficient Chinese, “Papa can give me some place?”

Qi Han didn’t understand: “What?”

Ah Jue ignored him and stood on tiptoe, about to pounce on Fu Ge. His collar was suddenly grabbed and he was lifted in mid-air like a little king.

Qi Han put him next to Fu Ge, “Keep your voice down, Daddy is very tired today and needs to rest.”

The movement of the two still woke Fu Ge up. He lay on his side, pinched Ah Jue’s face and smiled, “Have you come here by yourself? Woke up from your nap, baby?”

“No, coming to say good night to papa.”

“Okay, then come here.” Fu Ge smiled and stretched out his arm to Ah Jue with his palm up. Ah Jue immediately pressed his face to it, rubbed against it with his fleshy chin and said in a tender voice: “I love you, dad. Good night.” (says it in English.)

Fu Ge kissed his brow, “Good night.”

Qi Han was particularly interested in their warm bedtime ritual. His eyes lit up. Fu Ge generously spread out his palm towards him, “Do you want to come?”

The Alpha first caught his fingers and kissed his palm reverently and lightly, then put his chin on it and rubbed against it, his voice mellow and seductive: “You complete me, honey. Good night.” (also in English)

Good night, my love.

It’s you who make my life complete.