Ch20 - Reconciliation

Sunnyshies: Thank you for kofi Luoyuan! (◍•ᴗ•◍) I was busy last time, so I’ll just post two chapters today too! hehe~

This series is almost over. So after this novel, do forget to check out my new project next door! That one is full of dog blood and the drama can reach the mount Everest! They are Chasing Me! 

Hahaha…Begin count down! four chapters to go!

Shu Jin couldn’t get away.

As a family member, he needs to come with Shu Zhaoyuan, who had to do the test, and wait for the result. Because of the fight, and the affairs of Shu Jin and Sheng Xinghe, his mood was too irritable. So Shu Jin had to bear the reprimand of other patients and nurses.

Two hours later, the police came to the hospital and made a transcript. Only then did Shu Jin knew that Shu Zhaoyuan had hit his opponent’s head until it bleeds, and he was not in the same hospital. Nevertheless the other side filed charges against Shu Zhaoyuan, who already had a previous record and was just released with a reduced sentence. 

In the evening, in the midst of Shu Zhaoyuan’s gradually weakening curses of “eating inside and crawling outside“, “Unfilial son”, “Betraying laozi’s good son”, Shu Jin was finally able to close the door, and send a message to Sheng Xinghe for the first time in the deserted hallway.

Shu Jin: [You go back first, really, don’t wait for me. ]

Sheng Xinghe: [I bought you rice.]

Shu Jin replied: [I have eaten.]

Afraid Sheng Xinghe was worried, he sent another one again: [I will feel more at ease if you go back home.]

Shu Jin repeatedly refused, and Sheng Xinghe also did not insist.

But when Sheng Xinghe called again the next morning, Shu Jin said that he was not available again—— in addition to his forehead injury, he had five more bulging fingerprints on his face. Shu Zhaoyuan hadn’t done anything to him for more than 20 years, but this time, he had done it completely.

The corner of Shu Jin’s mouth was broken, and it hurts when he moves. 

“I’m sorry, brother.” Shu Jin said on the phone, “I can’t accompany you to celebrate the New Year. Tomorrow is the Spring Festival, I can’t just leave him alone in the hospital.”

“Good.” Sheng Xinghe didn’t force the issue, and he also cared about Shu Zhaoyuan’s situation, then said, “I brought you a change of clothes, come out and get them.”

Shu Jin walked to the door and looked outside. Outside the glass of the ward door was the corridor, he didn’t dare let Sheng Xinghe see his current appearance, so he only took a hasty glance, but he couldn’t tell if Sheng Xinghe was there.

“Would it be okay to leave it at the nurse’s station for me, I can’t find the time right now.” He lied. 

“Don’t carry it by yourself.” Sheng Xinghe knew that Shu Jin was hiding something from him, but didn’t ask, and just said, “As long as you want, I can stand in front of you at any time.”

Shu Jin was almost overwhelmed by guilt.

Sometimes he just wants to throw it all away and run home, not caring about anything, just rushing into Sheng Xinghe’s arms, but he can’t.

Not only because of their own injuries, but also because of the invisible but palpable layer of obstruction between them. 

Shu Zhaoyuan’s condition was not serious. After a few days of hospitalization for observation, the doctor had recommended discharge from the hospital for conservative treatment.

In the past few days, he and Sheng Xinghe didn’t have much contact. But knowing that Sheng Xinghe was living in his house, Shu Jin had some sense of expectation. They stopped discussing emotional issues, and Sheng Xinghe didn’t ask anything more. On the morning of the New Year’s Day, someone brought a small cake to the hospital. A blue whale was painted on the cake.

Shu Jin watched the day before he gave up eating in the evening.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Yc atf wbgclcu bo atf atlgv vjs bo atf Oecjg Rfk Tfjg, Vtfcu Wlcutf rjlv atja tf tjv ab ub yjmx ab kbgx olgra. 

Vte Alc ofia j yla qjclmxfv: “Vb ojra?”

Qjr Vtfcu Wlcutf jcugs yfmjerf tf kjr jnblvlcu tlw?

“Ktf cfza alwf P mbwf wjs tjnf ab kjla ecali atf fcv bo Zjgmt.” Vtfcu Wlcutf rjlv bc atf qtbcf, “Zs rmtfveif lr oeii yfobgf atf fcv bo Zjgmt. P klii tjnf j ofk vjsr ja atf fcv bo atf wbcat, yea P klii ags ab agjcrofg ws njmjalbc jcv rff lo P mjc kjla obg atf kffxfcv ab mbwf yjmx, klatbea joofmalcu sbeg kbgx.”

Sheng Xinghe was not angry. 

Shu Jin wanted to cry a little, and barely managed to hold back: “I won’t be disturb.”

Sheng Xinghe: “Or you can come over.”

Shu Jin: “…”

“Basically I won’t be traveling all March. You can come over on weekends, they all know you.” Sheng Xinghe asked, “Is that okay?” 

Shu Jin felt a panic.

Regarding this pattern of getting together in different places, it is this same as a long-distance relationship.

He didn’t know why this happened.

He knew he should at least give Sheng Xinghe a definite answer, as a piece of mind, rather than giving a vague “I don’t have” or “I do not know”, so that he will not put Sheng Xinghe in an insecure situation, but he failed to do so. 

Sheng Xinghe asked again: “Can you?”

He finally whispered a response: “Good.”

They didn’t see each other until Sheng Xinghe left.

… 

On the last day of Shu Zhaoyuan’s hospitalization, Shu Jin came forward to find a settlement with the other party and paid a sum of money to apologize under the mediation of the police.

The man whose head had been smashed couldn’t get angry anymore after seeing him. After complaining a few times, he finally asked his son to send him away.

Shu Jin and the young man walked out of the alley together, and the other said: “Sorry, ah, my father is not against you, do not mind him.”

Shu Jin nodded: “I know.”

The person’s figure was smooth and round, and he was no longer the young man who worked in the barbecue restaurant. He has been married and had children over the years, and his life has not been much. The young man scratched his hair, and asked with some embarrassment: “Your father, did he blame you after knowing that?”

There was a small piece of gauze on Shu Jin’s forehead, and he looked a little haggard, and he couldn’t deny it. 

The man said again: “Shu Jin, you are very good. You are not like your father, although I used to blame you but I have long forgiven you.”

Shu Jin lowered his eyelashes, not knowing what he was thinking.

The man said: “Actually, it wasn’t your fault. Forgetting it was normal, we were all too young back then. Like me, I remember I should have told the adults that it wasn’t me. One of the children told the adults that it wasn’t me at first, but after being asked and scolded a few more times by them, I really thought that I did it.”

It was the first time he said these words to Shu Jin. 

Shu Jin originally wanted to calm down, but he did not expect to hear such words “We were too young, it’s not your fault”. He felt so sad that he almost burst out into uncontrollable tears.

“In fact, in the end, we are also quite sorry.” The man said, “Although you already did that, my dad still went to report Shu Zaoyuan to get revenge on him…”

Shu Jin wiped his eyes. He shook his head and said: “It’s him who is doing something illegal.”

Before parting, the man asked: “Are you still in touch with Sheng Xinghe?” 

Shu Jin froze at his question, not knowing how to answer.

“He has been in your house for so many years, I think you had a good relationship back then.” After the man said it, he also felt that he was asking something inappropriate. So in return he said, “He is actually a nice person. Someone scolded me before, and he also spoke for me. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the case that I hurt him and he has to hate me to death.”

Shu Jin: “…”

“Let’s end this matter here, you don’t owe us anything long ago,” The man said, “Even if you want to make amends, the person who should make amends is him.” 

…

After Shu Zhaoyuan was discharged from the hospital, he insisted on staying in the hotel instead of staying at his son’s house. Shu Jin guessed that this had something to do with his shameful sexual orientation.

The father and son seldom talked, and Shu Zhaoyuan almost treated him as an enemy. The strange thing is, Shu Jin actually didn’t feel sad about it.

When he returned to his empty home alone, Shu Jin suddenly felt very tired. 

He lost all his strength the moment he entered the door. He leaned behind the door, and slowly slipped to the ground, feeling that his life hadn’t really gotten better, as if he was still in those muddled days five years ago, and that he never really got out.

He kept thinking of the man’s words, “You don’t owe us anything anymore,” and tried to comfort himself to make his life easier.

At least this is something he did well.

He sat on the floor and called his mother to explain the situation here, and after talking for a while, he obviously felt that his depression had faded. 

His mother said: “You’ve done a good job, Xiao Jin. That child did nothing wrong, but it was the adult who did all this wrong. You just corrected the facts. What causes the seed is what fruit you'll get. Sooner or later, what he did would hurt himself, he will still have this day.”

Apart from the fact that it was too hard to accept what happened with Sheng Xinghe at the beginning, his mother hardly ever blamed him, and after so many years, this night her mother asked the same question as that person: “You and Xiao Sheng, is it still possible now?” 

Shu Jin did not tell her about his reunion with Sheng Xinghe.

So she didn’t know that this time Shu Zhaoyuan’s rage was related to Sheng Xinghe.

She said: “If you still like him, can you still get in touch? Xiao Sheng is a good kid who works hard to improve. I heard your father say that at that time Xiao Sheng told him that even if the person who hurt him was you, he still wanted you.”

“He said that he would not despise you or neglect you because of this incident, that he would treat you well for the rest of your life, and that if you were afraid that the future would change, then he could guarantee that he would never change. He also said that he didn’t want any compensation, just you would be enough.” 

“You were just kids back then, and I don’t know if he took what he said seriously.” She said, “I wasn’t going to tell you any of this, but after all these years you’re still alone, and I always feel like I’ve done something wrong.”

After hanging up the phone, Shu Jin stood up from the ground in a daze.

He pulled open the thin shoe cabinet ready to change shoes. Then what entered into his eyes were a pair of somewhat new men’s slippers, which he personally selected, and belongs to Sheng Xinghe.

When he walked into the living room, there were two extra pillows on the sofa, and the books that were piled up in a mess became very neat. 

He walked into the room again and found that the bedding had been changed. The original heavy but uncomfortable comforter had been replaced with a light and comfortable duvet. There were two fluffy pillows on the bed, and there was also an extra lamp for him to use at night.

In the bathroom, there were two toothbrushes in mouthwash cups, leaning together.

Shu Jin only regards this place as a temporary residence, but some people regard it as a home.

His nose was sour, as if he was completely awakened by something. 

This is not five years ago.

Five years later they met again.  Sheng Xinghe came to his city under uncertain circumstances and once again approached his life. Even if he never opened up his heart, Sheng Xinghe didn’t stop. Shu Jin has always been a coward, but when they reunited, he only gently reached out a corner and asked Sheng Xinghe’s guest room’s phone number, and Sheng Xinghe caught him.

Then Shu Zhaoyuan was suddenly released from prison, and these fights and feud ruined their Spring Festival.

But it was strange, at this moment five years later, before everything was taken care of, he suddenly wanted to be willful once. This feeling came suddenly, as if it had been pent up for a long time and should have exploded five years ago. 

It comes neither too early nor too late.

Even though he was still running away at the last moment, this moment the desire to run to Sheng Xinghe’s side filled his chest.

Five years later, it’s time for him to be brave.

He took out his phone to look at the high-speed rail tickets and plane tickets. But unfortunately, during the return trip from Spring Break, the increase of passengers during Chinese New Year, did not give him a choice at all. All the tickets are sold out. 

So he started to look for a suitable online car reservation.

For such a long distance, only few drivers may take the orders during the Spring Festival holiday, and the process is a bit long.

During this period, Shu Jin kept thinking about what the people around him were saying.

Ling Wang said: “He must have forgiven you a long time ago.” 

The one who took the blame for him for more than a decade said: “The person who should be making amends is him.”

Then his mother said: “He doesn’t want any compensation, as long as he has you, it’s enough.”

And Sheng Xinghe said: “If you still feel sorry for me, then from now on, think of it as you atoning for your sins.”

He wants to get an online car reservation and drive all night, to run to Sheng Xinghe’s city. 

He wants to tell Sheng Xinghe, instead of saying, “we’ll talk about it later”, or something like “I haven’t”. Not to mention the word “good” that meant unclear and unguaranteed. He wanted to tell Sheng Xinghe——

He is very greedy. He has always wanted him, and wanted him with no burden.