Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu

Chapter IV: 79: The End of the Dream

Shortly after realizing that oxygen would go through his throat, Subaru coughs up grandly to spit out a chunk of blood that was left in his trachea.

As he fell to the ground on his back, he repeatedly gasped for oxygen with his rough breath, seeking food to live.

There is no respite of the mind that thinks of itself as shallow.

However, my weakness seemed terribly miserable when I chewed off my tongue in hopes of 'death' and thus clung without hesitation to the path of salvation that glistened in front of me.

But...

"To me... eh"

"- Yeah?"

"Is it worth living for me...? Not dead to me... dead, worth anything but repeating... to me, do you have...?

"Back to Death" and save everyone from the abyss of despair.

As a result of paying for his life, he believed that was the only value of Natsuki Subaru.

But can I assume it's not?

"Can I think that I'm worth something other than 'Back to Death' to a human being? I think that people I like think that they like me... okay?

"... I don't know that."

In response to Subaru's weak inquiry, Minerva turns away and answers softly.

Having lost her right arm and both legs, she cleverly distances herself from Subaru with only her left hand, turning first to her right shoulder - biting. Shortly after, Shizukuishi of Light regenerated Minerva's missing right arm.

Opens and closes the fist on the right arm with the sleeve gone, then Minerva punches his own feet with both hands - the base of the foot with the leg gone from the bottom, regenerating both feet as well as the arm.

The skirt, which was originally short, is even more pronounced, and the right arm is a very dangerous outfit with exposure to the shoulders, but the 'Witch of Wrath' Minerva returns to a state of perfection.

When she stood firm on both legs she regained, she looked down at Subaru as she put her arms together to highlight her rich breasts. And

"I don't know what you're worth. But that kid wants you to live like that... in two 'trials' and you saw it too, right?

"... but the second 'trial' is a sin that made me wrong..."

"Isn't that Bacca? That wasn't trying to make you take the blame for the world that went wrong. It showed you how sad someone was as a result of your mistakes. - That's not the answer you wanted."

"-Hi."

I recall.

Cry. Bite your thoughtless voice. A powerful voice to send out. The usual gentle drop-off.

A whisper of love that you believe in. That beginnings word, which was the driving force behind Subaru's battle.

Nothing, it was a life I wasn't supposed to have.

I thought Subaru had been invited to this world with nothing and with what he was supposed to have taken away.

The only way to prove your worth is to keep fighting. The only way to protect the precious things you gain as you continue to fight them is to keep walking even more lonely.

Can I assume that it was just given, though I assumed it was, but it wasn't?

For me, will you cry?

Will you mourn your lack of strength for me?

You want to see the future with me?

Will you let me have the credentials to stand next to my loved ones laughing?

I don't know if there is, qualification.

But I'm sure that's something that Subaru won't be allowed to hold any longer at the end of the road he decided to walk on his own until just now.

Don't even leave the softness that will surely make you smile at the end of the battle with your heart turned into steel and unshakeable spiritual power in everything.

Then can I believe it?

Even the choice of losing one's heart instead of getting the future of the loved ones.

I'll be desperate to protect my own mind. Not much, even a choice that will prevent me from going down the road.

Neither, he said, can there be a greedy option.

Can I believe that you want to see the future with your loved ones as Natsuki Subaru?

- I forgive you.

――――

I didn't put it in my mouth, Subaru's thoughts just spilling tears.

The timing was meshing, as if it had been transmitted as a sound.

With his body lying on the ground, Subaru moving his face across Minerva - not even wiping his face wet in tears while kneeling on the meadow, he could see his smiling face.

The face remains invisible to Subaru.

I still don't know the look directed at Subaru, blocked by the Book of Darkness. But it tells me you're smiling.

Echidna said. He said Subaru can't see her face because Subaru hasn't accepted her. When you're smiling, that's all it conveys, because it really determines what you're seeing to be what Subaru's unconscious isn't.

"I have been saved by you. So I will allow you to be saved. I hope you will be saved."

Subaru covers his face with his arms when he sees Satella's voice creeping into his cracked heart. It was already a mess with tears, and I didn't want to show this face to anyone, although I'm sure it's a face that can't get any worse now.

After all that mayhem and evil, how can we now gain even more relief from Satella's words? Not to mention how you can show a soothing look at it.

But it is also true that Satella's 'love' words and deeds, which she does not know, made Subaru understand the true meaning of 'trials'.

"... I'm surprised Minerva broke through Tefon and Sekhmet, but personally, it's more surprising to me that you two are doing this."

It was Echidna who murmured so small, sparing Subaru covering his sight.

Seeing Minerva reviving both hands and legs, it is in a different direction that Echidna moves her gaze from it - there is the sight of Tuphon being restrained in his hands and feet like a hook claw stretching out of a black painted coffin and Daphne and Sekhmet, the lords of that coffin, confronting each other.

To Echidna's words, it was Daphne who laughed with a low throat. She tore the lower part of her restraint coat and tongued as she stepped barefoot onto the meadow,

"It works best with the tutu, I'm sure in Daphne, and hey. A hundred foot coffin is a thoughtless, daphne's hands and feet. Ah, it's the worst match for Tutu's power, and no."

"Ugh, it's not Hune! Mmm! Ugh!

"So, ha. You're in charge of me, huh? It's not echidna, ha. Why are you imitating that, huh? Unlike Minerva, I don't know why you put it in your shoulder, huh?"

Crouching and brutally scratching excessive amounts of hair Sekumeto. She can't seem to move in a detour either, in a state like she's taking Tefon hostage.

Questioned by Secumeto, Daphne shook her bundled short hair and laughed "No,"

"Subaru, I slapped Daphne in the mouth. I killed the white whale for everything, so it looks like the big raven is next? Well, I thought you'd like to at least try."

"That's an interesting opinion. If he cares about it, it will certainly be accomplished. You know that too... do you want to destroy the Great Raven?

"Nothing. No? At the point of disconnection from Daphne, those kids' hunger had nothing to do with Daphne's hunger, and no. You don't know where to perish...... anyway, you might be interested to see how Daphne's endless sense of hunger, the Great Rabbit, ends."

'Cause Daphne took over the sound and said.

"If the end is fulfilled. Ah, that's unknown luck for Daphne, too, hey."

For Daphne, who is constantly annoyed by endless hunger, filling is a dream that will never arrive.

And the Great Raven is what can be called another self, reflecting such an endless sense of hunger on her part. - Nevertheless, Daphne herself has no such intimacy.

If that great raven is going to end differently than it once was, is it filled or not? She laughs at the possibility that she could have been filled, which is unusual and seems to have an interest other than appetite.

Echidna nodded contentedly at that Daphne answer, then turned her neck again. It's not Subaru, it's not Satella, it's not Minerva who's heading there. Daphne and Sekhmet, who fought hard, not even Tefon, but who, like Echidna, stands in isolated positions from the group.

Seeing "The Witch of Sexuality," Carmilla, Echidna gently stroked her own gray hair,

"Carmilla, how about you? Is there a reason, like Daphne?

"Hey, but... I want to say, huh? Oh, Echidna, is...?

"It's easy. - His consciousness in the abyss of death would have called him on the verge of vanishing. If you had done that, you would have known the consequences."

――――

"Your call should have meant everything to him. And you should have figured that out. So I want to ask. You shouldn't have liked him. [M] Why would you do that?

To Echidna's inquiry, Carmilla puts her hand on her mouth and lets her gaze wander away. It can be directed at Daphne and Minerva. That's a move I expected to get followers from people other than myself.

But to Carmilla, who is loved by everyone, there is no 'witch' here to be seduced.

Carmilla bit her finger like she had no choice, moisturizing her eyes and looking at Echidna,

"Beh, at the same time... no reason, right? Eki, Donna said no to that girl... well enough, I was satisfied... and everyone got into a fight over anything... wow, I'm going to jump on fire, if you don't, so... just"

"Just?"

"Oh, 'love' matters...... what, huh? That, if you scorn me, no... no, no. That kid... doesn't want to see it, even though he thinks, 'love' is there, because there is... there is something... to deny, I won't let it. Besides, I... never want to borrow it."

Only in the last part, Echidna shrugs her shoulders to Carmilla, who claims it more clearly.

Then grinning bitterly, The Witch of Greed sees the faces of each witch,

"Sekhmet and Tefon tried to respect his will, and Minerva, trying to respect his life, healed him. Daphne helped extend his life to see his will to fight and what he did, and Carmilla used her powers to teach him the love he kept turning away. - Now, everyone, every claim, they try to help Natsuki Subaru."

When Echidna so credits the witches for their actions, the witches change their expression.

Arrogance tilts his neck, laziness exhales carelessly, anger snorts and arms together, bulimia eats one leg stretching out of the coffin and laughs, and lust distorts his face reluctantly.

And the greed that saw them, put his hand on his chin,

"Again, it's funny. - Well, don't you think?

Echidna with a loose mouth and a happy grin.

The spearhead of her words was at the front - fluttering, directed toward Subaru, who stood up shaking his body.

Even now, Subaru, who managed to stand with two legs while wiping his sleeves of tears that had not cut his thirst, does not answer Echidna's question.

I just look around at Echidna with my hectic eyes, the faces of the witches. And

"You guys... really, what the hell"

――――

"Curiosity. Sympathy. A sense of purpose. Disgust.... I'm barely convinced why you put it in my shoulder. I know how to be called a witch."

"To the extent that I offend you, does that mean I'm back in strength?

"... I don't know"

To echidna with one eye on her, Subaru squirms with his hands on his chest.

Leaked words, in the end, represented all of Subaru's mood today.

"What I have to do, I should have decided. What I have to do is still the same. That's for sure. No doubt about it."

But then he went on to say, and Subaru didn't let anyone hear him, just like he let himself hear him.

"I also decided that this was the only way to do this. To choose that... I was ready to choose. And I came to this place, and I was crushed by the Trials."

The second 'trial', now that there is none - it tore my heart apart with the extraordinary reality that was deluding me with the word readiness, poking Subaru at the consequences of his deeds.

Now that he had shown it to me, Subaru had asked himself to cut it off, and he was ready to go through it. In fact, I was supposed to.

"But I knew what you meant that I could use a hand and show up to Satella to keep standing there... it's a mess in my head. You guys get together and line up the unsolicited stuff. I was imposing on me what I had to do. Yet..."

Now, what are we going to do with the lives that are supposed to separate them from the consumables?

Now, what are we going to do to make him remember to spare the life of the premise of running out?

Now that I've been reminded that I was loved, what am I supposed to do?

"Now I don't know what to do anymore..."

Subaru's reason is screaming that we can't protect everyone without dying.

Subaru's memory tells me when someone grieves over Subaru shredding himself.

If you don't die, someone will grieve, but if you die, someone will.

- Now for once, I'll ask you, Natsuki Subaru.

Echidna said to Subaru, shaking his inconsistent head, letting his voice down.

When I looked up, Echidna, with one finger up, was coming to the front of Subaru.

When she saw Subaru's gaze reflected herself, she nodded slowly,

"If I cooperate with you, you will surely reach a future that will save those who want to. You won't have to worry about it either. To put it to the polar theory, I will be the one to solve the problems you face. All you have to do is practice it on your body and be aware of getting over the wall. If it's hard to keep bothering you, entrusting everything to me is one choice. I don't blame you for that, and in a way, you're welcome. So for once now, I'm going to ask you."

――――

"I don't know what to do. Would you let me pull your hand? I promise I will take you to the future."

So gently, Echidna reaches out to Subaru.

Looking down at its white fingertips, Subaru held his breath when he saw Echidna's face waiting for an answer.

That's the same conversation we had earlier when we had the rejection dialogue.

At that time Subaru knew the nature of Echidona and feared the nerves that were driven only by its frightening curiosity.

But what about now? Put aside a few moments and think calmly of what she said, what do you think?

It treats life as a consumable, makes all kinds of trials and errors, and forcefully breaks through many of the obstacles that stand in the way of what should also be called force moves. With Echidna's advice, the way Subaru keeps fighting as he shrugs his mind - what difference does that make to the way Subaru is prepared to keep fighting on her own, even if she refuses to cooperate?

Intentionally, Subaru rejected her without overcoming Echidona's disgust with her attitude.

But if you were prepared to give everything in the true sense and sacrifice yourself, you should have even closed your eyes to Echidna's nature, and that's what she said you should have used her for.

If you deny that even with your own cleanliness and still have the same path to go - what's the point, such as Subaru's rhetorical attitude?

You should take that hand.

If you were not afraid to get hurt, swallowed up hard and painful thoughts, and ready to keep fighting. I should have taken that hand.

So,

"Echidna"

――――

"I'm afraid of getting scratched."

――――

"I don't like it hard or painful or sad. I don't even want to feel painful, and I don't want to see anybody but me get a terrible look. - I don't want to die."

――――

"So your hand on the sacrifice premise - I can't take it anymore"

I don't even know what Subaru can do, that's not even subaru yet.

But choosing the same path Echidna presents is unlikely to do anymore.

I realized I didn't want to die.

I knew that there were people who would admit to me that I thought I could only contribute by dying.

Natsuki Subaru was not the only man who was' worth it to die '.

Because those who spared Subaru's 'death' did not spare Subaru by finding value in Subaru's 'death'.

Then were they sparing Subaru's, 'what'?

"We still don't know what that is. - But I'm going to look for that. If I could figure that out, I'd feel like I could be rewarded for something other than death."

"... but that's Tsutsu's way, Natsuki Subaru. It's the shortest way to the future, rough but definitely, by cutting yourself apart from the tools that make way for 'death'. I'm glad your heart is the only thing I can offer you. It's too difficult to deny it, your heart, your precious human future, to take both, above all -"

Echidna cuts off the words and carries on her breath.

And she had the most, glossy smile ever.

- Greed.

Affirming desire, 'The Witch of Greed' accepts Subaru's decision with a pleasant expression.

Subaru still doesn't understand the idea of a witch who rejects a suggestion and still laughs happily. It's just...

"It's only true that I've tried to save you so many times.... even if you were at the bottom of your belly and only thought of me as an experimental animal or something, that's all true"

It is true that Echidna survived the ordeal in support of her heart.

So I'm only sure I appreciate that I got that time to give you some respite to protect your mind.

"- Stupid and pathetic Garfiel is afraid of the outside world"

"... Huh?

"What she sees in the first" Trial "binds her all the time. If you're going to break the situation on your own, you're going to need to break that curse."

"Echidna?"

"It's a hell of a story if the other witches were acting in your favor and now I'm the only one offering anything. I'm sorry to hear you think, 'The witches were all well-rooted guys, but only Echidna was a bad guy to the end'. I'm a girl, and it's true that I'm in your favor."

Speaking quickly, Echidna gently poked Subaru's chest with her hand.

Pushed back by the momentum, Echidna is turning her back here when Subaru looks up. 'The Witch of Greed' shakes her white hair and takes her distance from Subaru.

The other witches also stare quietly at Subaru.

"... to me, you guys are just the ones who don't understand"

――――

"I was so confused that I was going to go crazy, and I'm still angry at what they told me. You're not telling stories I don't know over my head. So I've always thought, and I'm not gonna like you guys."

I mean it.

The witches all have an individual and unwavering sense of value, and that's not Subaru - no, it's definitely incompatible with the regular people.

So Subaru doesn't understand them, and I'm not convinced of their behavior.

But aside from the incomprehensibility and gratitude, just like I thought for Echidna.

"Thank you for letting me die. Thank you for not letting me die. Thanks for letting me hear your important voice. - Thank you."

I bow my head to each and every one of the witches and feel petty about them breathing.

Then Subaru looks back and walks out.

Ahead, there's the girl - Satella - still on her knees in the meadow.

She looked up at Subaru as she approached herself and held her breath to clog her throat.

Subaru loses his voice to the way the little girl herself looks at that frightened appearance.

Why is something warm filling your chest against someone you even thought was nasty?

What are the emotions you continue to have towards someone you have never even touched?

An unanswered problem gave Subaru too much in this place.

Without being able to come up with one of those answers, Subaru reaches out to the witch who sits back, making the choice to 'keep bothering'.

She watched the offered hand bewildered.

"I... I don't know what you are. Maybe you tell me why you like me, you say... I don't even know what the word means I helped you"

"Ah..."

"But it is true that you have been helped by the 'Back to Death' you gave me. It's also true that I relied on it and managed to get here."

――――

"For me, 'Back to Death' is one option... you mean?

――――

"The only thing you can't rely on is to love yourself... you say that?

――――

"Easy, I'm not breaking it off. - But I'm pretty sure you gave me" Back to Death "and made me think I didn't want to die."

So,

"You're right, just a little more... I'll try to like myself. I'll take care of it. I don't know what's gonna happen with that, but that's fine."

"... are you okay?

"Oh... compared to dying, I don't know."

Subaru made a grin, even weak, in response to a worried Satella voice.

Look at that look and take Subaru's hand like Satella was relieved.

Shortly after, the cracking sound of the world captured Subaru's tympanic membrane.

Blue skies and green meadows fade away, and the castle of dreams liberates Natsuki Subaru.

"- Outside, are you going back?"

What are you doing, how are you doing, and maybe you got here.

I wonder what I should go out and do first. The problem with the mind even obscures it.

"Alone, don't worry. Together with those who care about you…"

――――

"Fight with those who do not wish you to die, and those who can hope you do not want you to die.... remember to die for fear of 'death' when it still doesn't arrive"

――――

"Remember, there are those who grieve that you will die -"

The world makes noises and splashes away.

Satella's voice also goes far. That's terrible, scratching Subaru's heart .

The connected palms are slightly hot.

You can't let go of this hand, I feel that way.

- I am.

I can't answer the words of the call.

I can't hear her calling Satella. The desire to reject her and to accept her is at best matched by the desire not to utter that name.

The sky falls. The ground cracks. The light is overflowing, and the surroundings no longer form the castle of dreams.

The witches scratch out and there are only two people in the world, Subaru and Satella.

Disappear. And it begins.