Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu

Chapter Six-54,

- The world was about to be anointed with darkness.

The shadows are reaching out to the invincible Subaru.

Like a spiral, like a swirl, a pitch-black demon who tries to wrap Natsuki Subaru around every soul.

I can see my presence vanishing so that it melts from where I touch it, so that it collapses, so that it unwinds.

But strangely enough, I don't remember the feeling of disgust at all.

――――

Your body breaks down within sight, your existence is overwritten, and your soul is scratched.

With such, or greatest blasphemy for the living, Natsuki Subaru's heart, however, was rather quiet enough to be called tranquil.

It's a last-minute event there, and heartfelt, and the impact of my disappointment.

But that's not all. - Because the shadow, the demon hand, that's all, was honest.

Only this shadow takes into account the mood of Natsuki Subaru, who wants to disappear now.

I wanna die. I wanna disappear. I want to crush, be crushed, no trace, be ashes.

If you're going to come back, scratch it off with ash.

This black shadow will fulfill the wish that there should be such an authentic cry of Subaru.

- I love you.

Yes, only to be repeated as loudly as possible is to suffer from eclampsia.

Whether you block your ears or try to close your mind, it puts your finger in the perfectly closed gap of your heart, slips through the ripped gap, and whispers love directly.

- I love you. I love you. I love you.

Stop it, I'm sick of it.

What did you find out no matter how many repetitions? I don't love you. I don't love me. I knew I was loved. I knew it.

It's those parents. Both my father and mother loved Subaru from the bottom of their hearts.

I knew it. There's no way I don't know. So Subaru wanted to disappear.

My parents loved me, but I couldn't possibly love myself for not being loved.

- I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Stop it, give me a break. You've had enough.

No matter how much it's stacked, I can't pull anything out any more. I've come to a conclusion. I knew it. I knew it, but I was just turning away.

Those who are so desperate, so hard, and guide Subaru can't be the bad guys.

I knew it. You can't possibly not know. So Subaru should have died.

We should have tried not to be illuminated by the mercy of those who annoy the existence of Subaru.

- I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Please don't, I know.

If you have endured this blame bitterness, will you grant me my wish? Will you swallow, crush, shrug, and turn it off to the other side of nothing that you never have to want from another person again?

Then - then let's accept it. I want to accept. If this is the last time.

If this is the last thing you can do, Natsuki Subaru, even if it disappears...

- That's it.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

――

――――

――――――――

My voice, I did.

A confession of love, as whispered in my ear, seemed to go on without an extension.

From world to world, the sound of a silver bell flashes as it pierces the confession of furious love that smears the existence of Natsuki Subaru, reaching straight under Subaru.

――――

The light burst.

That pierces the pitch-black demon who was about to swallow Subaru. A shock wave occurs, and a demon hand that has been directly hit plays and flies, but that is just one of countless hands.

What you get instead of sharpening one of a thousand doesn't fit in for the hostility from the shadow of its enormous momentum. But the man who unleashed the blow stepped in resolutely, dodging, dodging, dodging, and...

"- Subaru!"

"-"

And the LORD of the voice of the silver bell shook his hand strong, calling the name of Subaru, which entered into. As it is, Subaru's body is lifted up, and forcefully taken out of the place.

Leaving it to do so, the shadow stretches its arms to block the front and rear, trying to inhibit both the path and the exit.

But as far as that obstruction is concerned, I can't stop her from moving forward.

"Ri, hey!!

He sticks out his opposite hand from holding Subaru's, and a dazzling glow occurs there.

Shortly afterwards, what occurred was a beautifully luminescent ice crystal - a beautiful and spectacular ice strike that resembled the ice cage that trapped Subaru, and the roots of the outbreak.

That's the front, smashing through the pitch-black demon hand that unfolded to build the wall, forcing the way.

Swallow everything, Subaru, who had such an impression of an unusual shadow, noticed a slight tremor in his mind that he thought he would no longer move at the sight of them being kicked in an instant.

And if the mind that was solidifying moved, I would also look at the beauty right next to me.

The girl who holds Subaru's hand and stares at the front with all her heart and sneers her long, brilliant moonlight silver hair - Emilia takes Subaru and runs.

Her survival is also confirmed, but her heart does not boil.

On the contrary, Subaru illuminates the sound of something cracking behind his skull.

I'm not happy about survival. Naturally.

Both Julius, Beatrice and Echidna, who confirmed their survival, were killed.

I haven't seen the decisive scene, but my imagination can only go in the wrong direction as to what happened to Julius left under the quantity of Reid and Warcraft. Beatrice took refuge in Subaru and vanished, and could not even make it easier for Echidna, who was dying and suffering.

Natsuki Subaru is a plague god. Death is surrounded by its presence.

Instead of deciding that you didn't have your own 'death', you're pushing that misfortune around you, so much so that such a joke hypothesis floats, a black fate petitioner -.

- That's enough.

"Huh?"

I said, "I can't help scratching my feet any more."

Forcefully, against Emilia pulling her arm, Subaru stopped her leg. It should be noted that Emilia tried to pull Subaru's arm, but this time with firm will Subaru does not follow it.

The difference between the two arms is historical, but Subaru's will is also strong. You found that dark urge in your black eyes, breathtaking Emilia, stop pulling your arms with force.

――――

The two, Subaru and Emilia confronted each other from the front, staring at each other.

If you notice, you don't see the presence of the shadow around you, that was trying to take Subaru in. Did you shake it off as you fled with Emilia, if so, would you come out again if you went back down the road?

That's the most appropriate way to get rid of Natsuki Subaru.

"Why did you come to help me? That's crazy, isn't it? Even you thought I was fake... so you locked me in an ice cage and tried to kill me."

Words of deception, twisting facts arbitrarily, speaking ill and hurting.

Don't even think wrong about Emilia taking this hand again.

But it doesn't work for Emilia staring straight at the facts, such as such Subaru's despicable thoughts.

She stirs, angers her sliced eyes, and exalts her voice to Subaru.

"I'm not trying to kill you! I just wanted to hear from Subaru, who's not well. So, Subaru told me. I don't remember. So..."

"What is that! It's just, it might be convenient! Did you believe that? This is ridiculous. This is crazy! You, Julius, and Beatrice!

Trapped in an ice cage, he revealed the facts of amnesia like a misery.

But there's no way I'd believe a story like this if I had decent thinking skills. Lamb or Echidna's attitude is correct. And yet Emilia and the others, more than half of them were idiots.

"No, you're not... we're all idiots! At the end of the day... in that state, at the end of the day, even Echidna, apologizes to me... I don't know what that means."

"Echidna is the last...? Subaru, what happened? The echidnas..."

Emilia asks Subaru, who covers her face with her palms and groans. That, even a worrying expression, puts a nail to her heart.

For that, expose as much of Subaru's own glassy heart wounds as you can.

I'm glad my blood stopped flowing, my weak expression, and I didn't have to give my precious being a bitter taste of pain, the appearance of a girl who had crushed her life, fulfilling only such a painful and cold wish.

It resuscitates in the back of his brain, Subaru makes sure to push and spread the wounds in his chest himself, screaming.

"Dead! Echidna's dead! My legs blew up, and I didn't have enough pain and blood... and I died in pain anyway! So is Beatrice!

"-"

"That kid, too, sheltered me... how ridiculous it is to be self-absorbed... wish I had known. I couldn't do that, and I died. Remember me, yes..."

Even if Subaru forgets, Beatrice will not.

Be sure to let Subaru's memory come back, Beatrice ran out of temper to say so.

But she was lost. Immediately after that statement.

I don't think it's as good as my mouth. Just a mouthful of aspirations, put that into words, right away.

Keep Subaru away from death, with a palliative face, and extinguish him from the world.

"I should have stopped that way of disappearing, as long as I did. Take him out? Did you take him out? Either way. Doesn't matter. Anyway, not here. From somewhere... If they pulled me out of somewhere, I shouldn't have. That way..."

You don't have to look at me like that and disappear.

"The Julius guy, too, yes. I'm sure, by now, there's already... there's a bunch of little warcraft in the way of Reid's guy, so, go, please, or... stupid."

We're all idiots. What the hell do you expect?

Please, take it back, I'm sorry I doubted you, what are you talking about?

Please, what happens? Get it back, what's the point? Suspected, isn't it natural?

Natsuki Subaru is here because he betrayed everything he was called upon to do.

He wants only one person to survive in peace and disappear because it's intolerable.

The dumbest, dumbest, dumbest, helpless, unsaveable, that-,

That's not Natsuki Subaru, I don't know what...

"- The first time Subaru and I met was in Wangdu, a place called Stolen Goods Storage."

――

――――

――――――――

――――

Self-blame and self-questioning, Subaru sinking into a bottomless swamp with no escape, unable to move himself.

What shook Subaru's tympanic membrane like that was a sudden, memorable tale of how Emilia's confession - like evoking nostalgic, loving memories.

"... is"

Its abrupt, uncluttered words, Subaru flashes, just exhales breath in his lungs.

There is no nuance in mocking or ridiculing what you have said and what you have done. Subaru's consciousness doesn't catch up that far. Seriously, it just made me flatter.

With such a Subaru reaction to spare, Emilia folds her fingers and revives her memory.

"At that time, Felt stole my precious badge. I had to get it back and I panicked with the pack.... So, ahead of the chase, I'm going to fight Mary's sister, and I'm in danger, but Reinhardt helped me. So, Mary's sister targeted me... and Subaru helped me."

――――

"That's my first encounter with Subaru.... Remember?

Upon inquiry, Subaru shook his neck to the side.

I remember being told in detail, but I don't even know what the shards are about.

Naturally. That's Emilia and Natsuki Subaru's memory. After all, a piece of memories spinned by Natsuki Subaru, repeating actions that I don't think are...

"But Subaru got hurt badly because he sheltered me, and so he took me back with him to Roswar's mansion. So Beatrice complained and treated me, and Lamb and... I'm sure Lem and Subaru got along."

――――

"Then, this time, not your sister, but Mary did evil with a warcraft. It was also at this time that Subaru and Lamb stopped it, and Roswar took out the Warcraft, and I left a message… promising 'So - and'.... Remember?

――――

Shake your head to the side.

I don't remember. I didn't do that. - I didn't.

"There were so many things going on at the Mansion. We make mayonnaise, we all drink, the pack snows, we do 'king shame'... and then we're called to the king's capital for the king's race,"

――――

"Subaru and it was also at this time that I had my first big genka. I didn't want Subaru to be impotent and scratched anymore and I didn't know why he was so nice to me and I was scared. So I thought it would all end when we had a fight..."

A slight tremor mixes with Emilia's voice, which speaks of memories.

It was a mixture of joy and sadness, anxiety and anticipation, and various conflicting emotions, and Subaru was struck by a terribly thirsty sensation.

Burning, burning, burning. My chest is burning.

For everything that makes Emilia give this look - no, it's just one factor, it's burning.

"When I didn't know what was going on and I was just being pushed away by an anxious situation, when my heart was at its peak, Subaru rushed me, and so..."

――――

"So what did you say to me?... Remember?

"Thoughts......"

I can't get it out.

I'm not coming out. It can't be coming out.

The tremor of Emilia's voice makes it clear that the call sounds like a whisper.

Subaru said that she wasn't here for Natsuki Subaru.

Being poked at the understandable fact, Subaru is burned with envy and jealousy for himself.

Why, it's you, Natsuki Subaru.

Me and you, how is it so different, 'Natsuki Subaru'?

And Emilia, everyone thinks.

He told me to return the real 'Natsuki Subaru'. You and Natsuki Subaru are dead.

If it was you on this occasion, how much.

That's what I'm supposed to be thinking, scratching, suffering, and wanting to mourn.

And yet...

"- But I remember everything. What Subaru said to me, what he did, what he promised to do. I remember everything."

Grief and anxiety dwell on a smile so that there would have been none.

That, seeing Emilia smile, Subaru's lips trembled.

Nothing. Nowhere.

Everything I said, did, promised to do.

This, on the inside of the body, in the head, in the depths of the mind, at the end of the soul, in nothing.

So...

"Remember, I'm not here. I can't even remember, I won't. You... you are! You guys! Who are you talking about!?

Explosion, do.

In front of Beatrice and Echidna, he roared again here, as he had stirred up his emotions.

――――

Emilia opens her purple blue eyes to the roar.

Looking ahead to it, it should be noted that Subaru burned down the hot Shizuku that was going in with a blink, sultry, barking with as much malice as he could.

"Put your life at risk for someone! Move tight for someone! Run for someone! I can accomplish something with my life on the line for someone! Is that true? Can you do that?

Answer me that you remember and I can't.

Without being able to answer the words Beatrice said to me, she disappeared, and without being able to wipe away the regrets of the matter, she was kind to Emilia, as she said, told me her memories.

Julius entrusts it, Beatrice believes it, Echidona forgives it, Emilia wishes it.

That's "Natsuki Subaru". Called to another world, a real -,

"- Don't be ridiculous! There's no way he's Natsuki Subaru!

Something about Natsuki Subaru being trusted with hope?

"I know! How pathetic Natsuki Subaru is, how scumbag, how much he is but he can't do it, and how rotten a bastard he is!

Something about Natsuki Subaru being able to trust someone's heart?

"Who are you looking at!? What are you talking about!? That guy, he's not going anywhere! It's all a lie! Everything he showed me, everything he talked to him about! On the spot, out of the mouth of a shaver! It's not worth believing!

Does Natsuki Subaru ever get forgiven for his sins?

"Is Natsuki Subaru worth that! Natsuki Subaru is a scumbag! I can't help it. I'm a fucking asshole! I know that better than anyone!!

Does Natsuki Subaru ever wish that someone would be with him?

――――

It's not worth it. No place like that, desirable value, etc.

Natsuki Subaru is a plague god. Even with someone, it just hurts, lets them lose, lets them die.

So let's not.

For a man like that, Emilia and everyone, there's no need to get scratched.

"... it doesn't have to be me, you know"

Pompous, shrugged.

You don't have to be yourself - no, it's better not to be Natsuki Subaru, much better.

Why entrust it to a man who can't do anything? Why believe? Why forgive? Why do you wish?

There's got to be a better way to do it. There must have been someone who could have done better.

Even if that's what everyone wants' Natsuki Subaru ', it's nowhere else.

I wasn't there from the start, it's a phantom. It's vanity.

"Ignore me and scrape me off. Someone stronger, someone smarter, will do it. I..."

Only helplessness beat Natsuki Subaru when I couldn't.

People have minutes. It is proportionate. That's what I want you to know. Subaru doesn't deserve to walk next to the Emilias. They don't deserve what they want.

Strong, smart, not. You don't have to want Subaru like that.

So...

"- My name is Emilia. It's just Emilia."

"-?"

Speaking out of helplessness, dominated by what was supposed to have spit out, Subaru, who was meant to be empty, throated at the unintentionally striking voice of a silver bell.

――――

Of words, I don't know what that means. - No, it doesn't mean anything. I don't know what the intent is.

Face up, Subaru stared at the front, Emilia, who named herself. She puts her hands on her rich breasts, reflecting Subaru in her round, large purple blue eyes.

Its, breathtaking in shining eyes. Before that Subaru, Emilia continues.

"There are a lot of things we need to talk about, and we need to ask. There are a lot of them. But now there's only one, let me hear it."

――――

"Julius, Beatrice, Echidna. And now I'm pulling my hand, I'm running with you, and I really want to protect you, and I don't want you to die, and that's how..."

With all my thoughts, Emilia closed her eyes.

For a few seconds, she interrupts the words. During that slight silence, I can see that various thoughts came to her chest. The emotions that lead us to our companions, who are not here, are also conveyed.

With those thoughts, Emilia's cherry blossom lips trembled,

"That's how you made us think, who are you?

――――

"Please, let me know your name."

My heart trembled behind my chest at Emilia's inquiry.

That was not an indication of such intent to deny the Natsuki Subaru in front of us and to reclaim the Subaru of the past.

- That's affirmative, Natsuki Subaru.

――――

You in front of me said that you were a fake, that you wanted the real Natsuki Subaru back, and it was better if you said that, if you were so wished, and if you were so scolded, it was still better.

Because that's what Subaru wanted himself to be.

Because you can't be the 'Natsuki Subaru' they want, and you denied it, scratched it off, and decided you didn't, because it was Subaru himself who hoped so.

But Emilia... no, she's not the only one.

To this end, everyone who spoke to Natsuki Subaru wished the same.

Strong or weak, regardless.

Even if we forget everything this way and expose ourselves to irresistible ugliness, it still remains the same.

When they need Natsuki Subaru, they show it in attitude, in words, in life...

"... why, what?

――――

"Why are you here, Natsuki Subaru? What can you do to him? What do you expect from him..."

I don't know what that means.

With this, this much, overwhelming despair, helpless disadvantage, what would happen if Natsuki Subaru were here? How can things get better? I can open it.

"To that, weak, retarded, pitiful, unwilling guy, what"

- Yours, you might be right.

I wave my neck aside reluctantly, not in denial, but Emilia lays her eyes down on the pleading Subaru.

Eyes bordered by long eyelashes, the sound of a silver bell that tickles your heart directly, and the presence of Emilia all seem to be wedges connecting Natsuki Subaru to the world.

Emilia goes on to Subaru, where she can certainly connect her mind to such out-of-place emotions.

"There are people stronger than Subaru, and I'm sure there are plenty of smart people. But I'm good with Subaru, any time. I believe and hope Subaru will do that. Because..."

――――

"'Cause if you're going to help me, I can, because I was there, and I'd rather have someone I like do that - something I'm much, much happier with"

Yes, Emilia said, smiling.

Smiling, blushing slightly, I said.

――――

Subaru breathes, as he breathes out.

I got Emilia's word, and for a moment, all the times in me had certainly stopped.

Hardly, I feel my heart pulse.

At the same time, what springs up from the inside is a mockery of 'Natsuki Subaru'.

"- Yes."

Right, "Natsuki Subaru". You, were you in love with such a beautiful girl?

There will be enough to not fit your height. I wonder if she'll turn around.

Such a cool knight, such a smart woman, such a cute girl.

And there's such a beautiful girl in front of me.

I entrust you, trust you, forgive you, hope it's you.

Instead of asking for salvation, asking for salvation, if we're going to get over the wall together, you're the one who can do it, not you.

"- My name is Emilia. It's just Emilia."

To the silent Subaru, once now, Emilia named herself.

Purple blue eyes look here. Subaru's black eyes looked straight back at his eyes.

And -,

- Please, let me know your name.

"I..."

Emilia's, to another inquiry, hesitated to speak.

Scattered, overlapping denial.

I can't do that. I can't be. Otherwise, I kept overlapping denials.

So I'm sure this is just a convenient word game.

- entrusted, believed, pardoned and wished for.

If that's what Emilia and the others deserve in this desert tower.

Suppose there was someone in this desert tower who could help Emilia and the others.

If that's 'Natsuki Subaru', if that 'Natsuki Subaru' isn't anywhere.

- My name is Natsuki Subaru.

――――

"If Julius entrusts me, Beatrice believes, Echidona forgives, Emilia... to you, I wish, the name of the man, Natsuki Subaru"

A brunette boy answers the girl who stares at her purple blue eyes with black eyes and brightens her silver hair.

Red and black dirty lips with blood returned the answer to the query that shook her cherry blossom lips.

- I'm Natsuki Subaru.

Now with a weak, powerless, desperately eroded body and mind, but let us proclaim.

I want Emilia, Emilia and you, and I want her safe, and I want her safe.

――――

Strong, that's what I said, Subaru.

In its chest, its distrust of 'Natsuki Subaru' has not wiped the shards either.

Even now, I can't leave by burning it in the back of Subaru's brain, "Me" - No, I let Mary die, the voice and face of an evil man. It may not come when it is dispelled.

But okay. Still, okay.

I don't want to be saved. I don't want you to save me.

I wanted you to be saved, I thought.

I wanted to help.

- If Natsuki Subaru can do it, I'll do it.

If you wish, you ran out, you ran, you went for it, the same thing.

If the road I imagined was the same, I would cross the boat, even if I didn't like you, because I have no complaints.

- Let me save Emilia and Natsuki Subaru.

"Thank you, Emilia. - Make me think so."

"- Subaru, I am"

That, there is Subaru's response, with ripples in Emilia's purple blue eyes.

I trembled my lips and tried to spin words into Subaru, where Emilia defined herself as something.

It was right after that.

"-"

Until then, as if to interrupt the dialogue between the two of us, a situation that was quiet as if the world cared deeply for me, instantly cracks.

"- Emilia!

Around, the passages that the two were interacting with are instantly crushed and crushed by shadows.

The passage loses its shape and Emilia, who has lost her scaffold, loses much of her balance. Towards that girlfriend, Subaru, still barely left a scaffold, kicked the floor hard.

Moments, the tower damages its shape, turns old and scattered, into a piece of stone wrapped around the scent of sand.

Through it, Subaru jumps into momentum towards the falling Emilia. The distance diminishes, catching up with the silver hair, and finally, thin, hugging her body.

"Subaru......"

Thin, soft, holding a hot body, Emilia wanders around calling the name of Subaru. Maybe he repositioned himself in his arms and was about to go down.

Now, the helper and the helper are on the lookout.

Emilia, and everyone else, are really crazy. But I wonder if it's sad, Emilia's such efforts are unfortunately useless in this situation either.

Turn your back on the ground, Emilia can't see where you're going to fall.

We welcome the Subaru because it is not the hard floor of the tower, nor the dunes outside the tossed quote, but the shadow of the pitch-black, which encloses this tower and leads all things to the end.

So you two stay like this, swallowed by shadows as you hug each other, and it's over.

- No, the other way around.

This is, I'm sure, the beginning.

Start what you started once, once now, here, anew, from the end.

Let's make a deal for that.

Here, in this world, in this place, make the words exchanged with Emilia, authentic.

That I was saved, that I wanted to save.

Let's hold it all and start at the end. The time I've been smoking is over.

Cursed obsession, okay? Just what I want.

I don't know if Natsuki Subaru deserves to be loved.

But to Emilia, to Emilia and the others, because they deserve to be loved.

Even if you don't remember the words you said to me in this end world, in this beginning world, and you forget them.