Savage Divinity

“You crafted Jorani’s Runic Device?” Hopping aboard their barge without so much as a ‘pardon me’, Taduk lands beside OuYang Yuhuan and strips her bare with his voracious gaze. “A most ingenious contraption, even after so many months, I’m unable to decipher its purpose, much less understand how it was made.”

“Oh?” Faced with his intense stare and dazzling smile, the Tyrant’s icy glare melts away to reveal a blushing, wide-eyed beauty in skin-tight leggings and a form-fitting tunic. Far from the domineering and disdainful greeting I received, the Tyrant’s voice softens to a girlish chime as she addressed my oh so handsome Teacher. “I didn’t think the Bekhai’s new craftsman would be the famed Medical Saint Taduk. This one doesn’t dare accept Great One’s praise.”

“Nonsense, praise is deserved for one so talented.” Taduk’s stare runs up and down her body as his smile does all the heavy lifting, a natural charmer through and through. From where I sit, he looks super pervy, but I know his intentions are mostly pure. Ever since I gave him Yo Ling’s book, Taduk’s been obsessed with the study of runes, but the Defiled bandit leader of Butcher Bay wasn’t much of a craftsman. He cheated somehow, using the Spectres to help create his runes, something Taduk was understandably leery of trying.

Though maybe I should give it a shot... but not any time soon. When my mind’s in a better place and my body’s far, far away from Imperials...

Since Yo Ling’s writings were lacking, Taduk turned to studying Runic Devices and trying to reverse engineer them, but aside from Li Song’s breastplate and Jorani’s little wand, there wasn’t much else for Taduk to study. Unfortunately for the smitten Tyrant, Taduk isn’t interested in her slender figure or sharp features, but rather the plethora of items scattered about her person and the precious knowledge inside her pretty little head. Rings, bracelets, necklaces and more, the Tyrant’s alluring frame is festooned with Runic Device, wearing all sorts of jewellery from circlets to anklets and much more in between.

I’m curious to know exactly how much more. A proud and powerful warrior, the Tyrant has a regal, authoritarian air about her, undoubtedly a woman of noble upbringing and proper manners, but I bet she’s got a wild side and is hiding a few naughty piercings beneath her slinky little outfit. Judging by how she parts lips and arches her back for him, I bet she’d be more than happy to show Taduk all her secrets, the lucky half-hare that he is...

Ugh, I need to get laid or masturbate, somewhere far away from my horde of sweet, innocent floofs and the creepy, face-raping octopus. Three wives and zero sex means I’m probably doing something wrong, but what can you do. I’m doing my best to respect Mila and Lin’s wishes to not have sex before our wedding, and lovely as Luo-Luo is, I’m somewhat repulsed by her, and not because of the tandem pooping incident. I don’t mind imagining sex with strangers or visiting a prostitute, because then it’s just about sex and nothing else, but with Luo-Luo, I feel like there’s this expectation of intimacy and affection, both things I’m unwilling to share with a veritable stranger. Thus, until I get to know Luo-Luo better, or Mila turns twenty next year, it’s a life of celibacy for poor, lonely me.

The Monk would be so proud, if he hadn’t ghosted after trampling across my fragile psyche, the big, fat jerk...

Laying on the charm thick, Taduk’s naked greed does little to dissuade the Tyrant as he sidles up beside her, his eyes fixated on one Runic Device in particular, a jade pendant nestled in her modest bosom. Carved in the shape of a phoenix, it sits with wings furled and head tucked, which makes its body sort of egg-shaped. “Such skill in one so young,” Taduk says, adding a mournful sigh for effect. “Your creations make my efforts look coarse and unrefined in comparison, an unshaped lump of clay next to your beautifully shaped works of art. The phoenix and its egg, one and the same, mixing destruction and rebirth in a single, dominating Rune. Brilliant.”

...What? Did I miss something, or did Taduk just say the Phoenix itself is the rune? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a detailed, complex piece of work and a beautiful lifelike carving, but I assumed Runes would be... I dunno, cryptic symbols carved on the phoenix which hold certain meanings. What’s a sleepy bird have to do with getting Heavenly Energy to do what I tell it to?

While my imagination gets the better of me, Taduk and the Tyrant carry on as if no one else is around. Offering a slight bow which is little more than a bob of his head, Taduk lays it on thick as he sighs and says, “Truth is I don’t dare call myself a Runic Craftsman, especially not in present company. I am but a mere dabbler, not even worthy of the title of novice. A single ring on your jewelled fingers would be beyond my meagre comprehension, much less a grand undertaking like this barge we stand on.”

“This one has heard of your generous gift to the Legate, and four shields of that size is no simple feat. Why, my little brother spent decades learning the craft, and only recently found success making rings...” The Tyrant’s ‘jewelled fingers’ twirl around a lock of her hair as she extols the virtues of Taduk’s shields, a sure sign of flirtation as any. Sorry Guard Leader, but you snooze, you lose. I didn’t like you much anyways, bullying poor Taduk and uprooting his Spiritual Plant collection like that, even if it was for a good cause. Plus, she’d probably be super mean to my sweet, lovable Lin, bullying her day and night like an evil step-mother would. Though... I doubt a woman nicknamed the Tyrant would be much kinder, and the mention of her brother, the stingy OuYang Clan Patriarch who tried to kill and rob us, has me leery of forming ties to this unknown woman. Besides, OuYang Yuhuan might be smoking hot, but having seen Guard Leader’s martial skills, I doubt her veiled features are any less attractive.

Plus, Guard Leader’s body is top tier, not willowy and light like Yuhuan’s, but with ample curves in all the right places. Though her attitude is less than ideal, there’s nothing modest about Guard Leader’s bosom...

Seeing his comrade engaged in flirtatious shop-talk, Lei Gong drops a rope ladder and wordlessly welcomes us onto the barge, an invitation I graciously accept. For one, the barge looks much safer than our tiny skiff, doubly so after Taduk implied it’s a Runic Device, a mind blowing revelation I have yet to recover from. The stones on the Tyrant, crafting a Runic Device large enough to sail on. Ignoring the cost of such a massive undertaking, how big would the explosion have been if she messed things up?

While hauling Sir Inky’s pot up with Guan Suo’s uncharacteristic help, I study the stylized engravings along the surface of the barge, but I can’t tell which are Runic inscriptions and which are fancy decorations meant to cover them up, assuming either exist. Noticing my confusion, Lei Gong claps me on the back with a hearty roar of laughter and sends me stumbling across the deck, though thankfully, I’ve already put Sir Inky down. “Think yer smart enough to puzzle it out by looking, do ye? I watched her craft the damned thing and hundreds more of her little toys, but I still can’t make heads or tails of runes and whatnot. Heaven ain’t fair, but yer talented enough as it is boy. No need to go adding ‘Runic Craftsman’ to yer long list of titles and accomplishments.”

“Uh... Thanks.” I haven’t accomplished much to be proud of and my latest titles are a mixed bag. Imperial Manwhore doesn’t need to be explained, and I’m only the number one Talent in the Empire because of Aura shenanigans. “Anyways, introductions. Everyone, this is Lei Gong, Lord of Thunder, member of the Azure Ascendants and comrade of GangShu, the Ancestral Beast of Sanshu. This is my teacher’s nameless bodyguard, and this is Guan Suo of the... err... Divine Turtle Protectorate.” Giving both my companions a warning glare, I pray they’re smart enough to mind their manners when dealing with the lackey of an Ancestral Beast.

Probably not, but one could hope.

Leaving the three Experts to silently sort out their pecking order, I listen in on Taduk’s conversation. Hoping to witness a budding romance and tell the story at their wedding, my hopes are cruelly dashed by my teacher’s hardheaded foolishness. Wholly ignorant of her seductive body language, Taduk keeps the conversation solely focused on runes and inscriptions, but luckily the Tyrant is more than happy to exchange ideas. While Taduk describes his process as a melody for the Heavens, the Tyrant claims her technique is rooted in symbolism and allusion, neither of which screams ‘Language of Energy’ and leaves me utterly baffled on how runes work. Even though their approaches differ, both craftsmen can recognize the intent behind each other’s work, even though the Tyrant has only seen Taduk’s work drawn with his finger in empty air.

Huh... I never noticed it before since he always worked at a desk, but when Taduk waves his arms about while drawing his Runes, he kinda looks like a conductor for an orchestra. Silly at first glance, especially without instruments accompanying him, but seeing the sheer focus and raw energy he puts into his gestures is almost enough to let me ‘hear’ the music he’s conducting. It’s uncanny.

A snippet of their conversation pierces through the veil of my imagination and my attention focuses on the Tyrant’s explanation. “Language is a crude way to describe it,” she says, edging closer to my teacher’s side. “Language forms a relationship between spoken words or written symbols and the objects they represent, but much of it is contrived representation, rather than derived.” Gesturing around her, she explains, “Take the sky, for example, a word both simple to say and simple to write, but hardly one capable of representing the grand and majestic heavens on its own. It requires context and explanation to link the two together, and only then will the word, written or spoken, evoke the proper image in the audience’s mind. When it comes to Runes, the Energy of the Heavens is unwilling to adhere to something so strict and rigid as a language, which means we Craftsmen must find more creative and intuitive ways to express our desires.”

And express them she does. Throughout their conversation, the Tyrant shows her interest through her use of coy gestures, light touches, and inviting body language, but Taduk’s woeful lack of eye contact and polite, but averted posture reveals her efforts have gone unnoticed. Poor Yuhuan. Maybe Guard Leader knew this would happen, which is why she doesn’t seem distressed about a potential love rival, soothing a grumpy Mama Bun with a little snack to distract her from our lack of movement. Granted, Guard Leader’s tragic romance with Taduk is mostly wistful thinking on my part, the closest I can get to making sense of their mysterious and somewhat antagonistic relationship. Why else would a warrior of her calibre be willing to babysit Lin? I bet he saved her life and she offered her body in gratitude, but my goofball teacher just said, ‘No thanks, I’d rather you guard my precious, sweet, adorable daughter,’ or something like that.

I’m not the only one who believes Lin deserves, nay, must be spoiled. Her cuteness demands it!

That said, the Tyrant’s explanation makes sense, though it does little to further my understanding of Runes. I get that the runes are more than just lines on an object, but how those lines translates into adding magical properties to items is still a complete mystery, especially when it comes to persuading Heavenly Energy to do something. The most successful communication I’ve had with Blobby was cutting him off from my supply of Chi, but only because I needed the Chi to stay alive. If I hadn’t poured all my efforts into cracking a Defiled Champion’s Aura and deprived Blobby of his nourishment, then I doubt he would have bothered showing me how to Hone my Aura, something my newfangled Spiritual Water can’t replicate.

Stupid gluttonous droplet, running off and making me risk life and limb in the Azure Sea chasing you down... Why couldn’t you stay home in my Natal Palace like a good hermit?

Finished with their silent power struggle, Lei Gong leaves Guan Suo and Guard Leader to their silent brooding and places his burly arm around my shoulders. “So boy,” he begins, his voice more subdued than before. “Be honest with an old man. You out here searching for another drop of Heavenly Water?”

Unsure how much I should share, the others are less than useless as they pay no attention to our conversation. Throwing caution to the wind, I figure the truth won’t hurt considering he already knew about Blobby. “Sort of. Not another drop, but the same one I had in Sanshu. I’ve er... misplaced it.”

“Oh? And when did you ‘misplace’ yer drop?” His question, though casually voiced, is tinged with a hint of apprehension as his body tenses ever so slightly. Belatedly, it occurs to me Lei Gong can take me hostage any time he likes, and there’s nothing anyone could do to stop him.

Great. Just great.

Under mounting pressure from Lei Gong, it takes me awhile to count the days since Blobby’s disappearance. Let’s see, I lost Blobby after my Awakening, spent three days as Baledagh, woke up before the start of the Imperial Grand Conference, and today is the fourth days since it started, so... “Seven days ago?”

It’s only been seven days? It feels like forever...

“Ah.” Releasing his grip on my shoulder, Lei Gong smooths out my nightshirt with a few gentle pats. “That’s good, means we’re hunting different targets.”

What would have happened if we weren’t? Stepping away from the Lord of Thunder, I feign nonchalance while leaning against the side of the barge, closer to Guan Suo and Guard Leader. “I’ve been meaning to ask, why do the Azure Ascendants need a drop of Heavenly Water?” From what I’ve seen, Blobby doesn’t do much besides sit in my Natal Palace, and now that I have my Spiritual Water, I’m not even sure if I need him anymore. Given the choice, I’d like to have him back, but it’s only a matter of time before my luck runs out and something bad happens to us out on the Azure Sea.

Unfortunately, Lei Gong is having none of it. “Never you mind about our business, boy.” Flashing a childlike grin, he adds, “Ye lucked out in Sanshu, but this time it’s gonna be different. Ain’t no errant droplet here in the Azure Sea, so even if ye stumble across it, I’d wager ye won’t be walking away with all the spoils this time around.”

“And you never make a losing bet, am I right?”

“Never say never,” he responds with a laugh, “But I ain’t one to make a wager lightly.”

Sensing an opportunity, I ask, “So... How about we exchange information on how we’re tracking our respective droplets?” Whatever they’re doing, I doubt it’s worse than relying on a spoiled, cowardly octopus and a dumb but adorable bunny to lead the way.

Unfortunately, Lei Gong laughs and shakes his head, instead offering me a drink from his wine gourd. Much as I need a drink, I politely decline, mostly because it looks like the same gourd he had back in Sanshu, which means he’s been sucking on that opening for months now, if not years. Since he doesn’t seem willing to talk anymore, and I don’t feel safe enough to meditate in his presence, I go back to listening to Taduk’s conversation with the Tyrant, but it’s gotten too complicated to follow. They’ve moved on from the basics and are talking about semiotics, ineffable cues, and a paradigm shift between the human mind and the unknown.

Or something like that. They’re using a lot of words I don’t understand, which highlights the Tyrant’s early explanation regarding the limits of language. Without context, words might as well be gibberish and gobbledygook, hardly the best way to communicate with the Energy of the Heavens. The thing is, her symbolism is the same. Taduk calls the Phoenix a creature of destruction and rebirth, because in the local mythos, that’s exactly what they are. Legend has it, there was once a bird who tried to ascend to Divinity and form a human body, but was struck down by the Heavens in a blaze of fire, destroying everything for kilometres around. Bloodied, broken, but still drawing breath, the Phoenix limped away to recuperate. Centuries later, the Phoenix was stronger than ever and tried to ascend once more, and this time the Heaven’s sent down a blaze greater than before, but again, the Phoenix survived, but at great cost to its surroundings. Thus began a vicious cycle as the Phoenix emerged from each fiery tribulation stronger than before at the cost of even greater destruction to lands around it, eventually forming what is now the uninhabitable volcanic badlands south of the Empire.

Well... uninhabitable except for Defiled.

Problem is, when I hear the word Phoenix, it brings to mind a fiery bird who can die, but is always reborn from the ashes. Were I to guess what the Runic Device does, I would have thought it was linked to healing or regeneration and overlooked the destructive aspect of the local Phoenix interpretation. So... why would Heavenly Energy accept the Tyrant’s interpretation over mine? Assuming it all actually happened, does Heavenly Energy have a hive mind and remember striking down the Phoenix so many millennia ago? Or is there really a Mother watching from up above, arbitrarily testing us for her own purposes or amusement? Why can’t birds ascend? Is it because the Mother, like myself, ascribes to the Dao of All Things Cute and Fluffy?

Putting the theological debate aside, I go back to pondering runes and communication. Adding in my errant thoughts on Aura and staying home, I realize I’ve spent all this time looking for Blobby, but I haven’t tried calling him. I use my Aura to convey emotions all the time, so why can’t I use it to let Blobby know I’m here and looking for him, assuming he’s close enough to reach?

Keeping Guard Leader and Mama Bun between Lei Gong and myself, I close my eyes and focus on the feeling of home. Not home as a physical location, but the sensation of home and the emotions which come with it. Warmth and safety mostly, love and acceptance. Taduk’s comforting hugs, Alsantset and Charok’s supportive presence, the twins’ beautiful smiles, Baatar’s thumping tail, Sarnai’s uproarious laugh, this and more is what springs to mind when I think of home, and I distill those thoughts and memories down to a base, raw emotion before infusing it into my Aura.

Time stretches into eternity as I reach out with my Aura, searching every living thing in range one by one in desperate hopes of finding Blobby once more. I want him to know I’d really like it if he came home so I could stop coming out here to find him. I mean, yea, I sorta replaced him, but if he wants to leave, then the least he could do is let me know he’s still safe and sound, right?

Sadly, my efforts are wasted and I find no familiar presence in the waters around us before my Chi runs dry. With a mournful sigh, I open my eyes and am surprised to see everyone on high alert as they stare westward with similar looks of grim determination pasted across their faces. Even Ping Ping is alarmed by this unseen threat, surfacing next to the barge in siege-mode, which means shit is about to go down, though Mama Bun is still dumb and clueless as ever, desperately struggling to get out of Guard Leader’s arms and presumably dive into the sea. Quickly securing Blackjack inside my pouch, I stand with Unity and Tranquility at the ready and inch close to Taduk’s side, staring at the deceptively calm waters of the Azure Sea while waiting for the hammer to drop.

...

And waiting.

...

...

Still waiting.

...

...

...

Huh. This might be my fault. Not even an hour ago, I was super careful not to let my Aura slip out while using it to calm Sir Inky, and then I turn around and use my Aura to invite every creature in range here to home and safety.

Whatever this is... I brought this upon us.

Like the fucking idiot I am.

Chapter Meme