Savage Divinity

“Impartation of Heavenly Energy...”

Despite having heard the term before, I have no idea what it’s supposed to mean or why Monk Happy seems so dumbfounded by his own statement. All I really know is that one of the Healers called it a myth when someone else brought the matter up, way back in Sinuji during a discussion that was supposed to be about helping Heal my shattered Core and somehow deviated to the topic of Spiritual Beast husbandry. How this relates to Mila’s laser beams and my newfangled ability to share my thoughts and perceptions is still a mystery, so I sit and wait for Monk Happy to gather his thoughts and put them into words I’ll understand.

My beloved wife’s spectacular light show brought all manner of concerned guests to our doorstep, for good reason considering they thought I might be under attack. Touched as I was by all their concern, dismissing guests is not as easy as waving a hand and saying, “Nah, don’t worry about it.” Face must be given, and invited or not, it would be rude to send guests away without offering refreshment, an offer which must be accepted even if only to wet one’s lips, because again, face. Many cups of tea and several toilet trips later, I finally had the opportunity to sit down with Mila and the rest of my family to recount everything that happened between us, minus the sordid details of course. Then again, given the fact that we were hanging out in the tiny bathroom together for so long, it doesn’t take a genius to piece together what we were doing in there, which in turn led to what might well have been the most mortifying conversation I have ever had with my parents and in-laws about communal areas and general hygiene.

To be fair, they have a point, but for the first time ever, I regret asking my parents and in-laws to live with me. I like having family close, but neighbours is close enough, so I’ll have to get working on buying more land and building separate manors for everyone to live in. Throughout the entire awkward discussion, Yan’s competitive nature most certainly doesn’t help, nor does Lin-Lin’s constant giggles. Then I am forced to go over the events once more after asking Monk Happy to weigh in on the experience, only to receive a vague statement which doesn’t really mean much after a good hour of marinating in shame and embarrassment.

“The Impartation of Heavenly Energy,” Monk Happy begins, stroking his ample, beardless chin as he studies me from across the dining room table, “Is a term for the theoretical process through which one person shares their experience of the Dao with another. Not with words, diagrams, or any other form of physical communication, but through a process similar to Insight, only originating from another living being rather than the Heavens.” Holding up a hand to forestall any questions, Monk Happy continues, “This is only a theoretical ability, mind you, one posited by multiple different scholars over the course of history, but has never been proven theoretically feasible, much less empirically possible.” Done covering his bases, the smiling monk still seems positively upbeat and overjoyed, for no reason in particular than to have a captive audience listening to what he has to say, though Lin-Lin seems ready to fall asleep beside me, despite having only just woken up from a day-long nap. While not quite snuggled down in my embrace, Mila is also showing signs of fatigue, her shoulders slumped and head nodding every now and then as she tries to stay awake, but Monk Happy is in no rush to explain. “You have all experienced Insight, Inspirations, or Awakenings first hand, so you already know that such a concept of sharing information is already possible. The Mother, the Heavens, or Heavenly Energy itself imparts upon you the knowledge required to utilize Chi in some manner, whether it be to execute a Martial Skill, forge a Spiritual Weapon, or what have you, but have you ever stopped to wonder how this knowledge is passed on?”

“Yea, and I’ve heard plenty of possibilities too.” Shrugging ever so slightly so as not to disturb Lin-Lin or Mila, I tick off the half-baked theories I’ve come across thus far. “Some believe it to be simply what happens when one comprehends the Dao, the information put together by one’s own perception in a moment of enlightenment. Others claim Insights are knowledge from past lives returning home to roost, while the most prevailing theory is as you said, that the Mother Herself offers us guidance from above, in preparation for trials and tribulations to come.”

“All possibilities, yes, but the monk was asking in a more... technical sense rather than opening the floor to theological debate.”

No one ever wants to argue religion with me, and I really wish they would. Then again, maybe I’m the asshole for trying to disprove their beliefs just because I lack faith. Rather than offer some vague tidbit I might’ve read or heard some time ago, I take a moment to stop and think about Monk Happy’s question. How does Insight really work? In my personal experience, not all that well considering I’m rarely ever able to quantify the Insights I’ve received, so I might be the wrong person to ask. “I think,” I begin, stressing that I am not even remotely certain of anything at all, “That an Insight is a form of personal understanding based on available facts and information, but in a way the individual involved has yet to wholly realize and perceive.” Wishing I had a better way to explain it, I struggle to put my thoughts into words, because Insight has always been this enigmatic, unknowable concept to explain how I do the things I do without knowing how. “It’s like... learning from experience, in the way some quin handlers can tell when an animal is pregnant, or an old farmer can wake up, sniff the air, and know rain clouds are just over the horizon. If asked to describe how they know, it’s generally difficult to explain, because they are working on intuition and recognizing clues that their conscious mind has yet to realize, but the information is still there, just difficult to put into words because even they themselves are not aware of the myriad of details they perceive at any given moment. Only with Insight, we get to skip over the experience part and just glean the needed information without really wholly understanding how we arrive at the result.”

“So you believe Insights merely a matter of the mind alone? That this ability to skip over personal experience is the work of the unconscious mind working with information that is readily available to all, yet only perceived by a select few after a personal revelation?”

...Well you can make anything sound stupid if you try hard enough. “I suppose there could be more to it, I just... don’t really know how to quantify it.”

“Then answer me this, Junior Brother.” Pleased to have elicited an admission of ignorance from yours truly, Monk Happy asks, “What is a soul?”

The answer comes to me in the form of what I now believe was an earlier Insight, one which came to me just moments before I brought Buddy back into my life. “I believe the soul is a vessel in which we carry all our emotions and experiences. Memories will come and go, but the soul remains eternal, the very core of our existence and the spark which sets sentient life apart from non-sentient beings.”

Eyes wide with delight, Monk Happy claps his hands and laughs as everyone else looks at me like I’ve sprouted a second head. “Well put, Junior Brother, well put indeed. And what is sentience?” Without giving anyone time to reply, Monk Happy answers his own question. “Why, the ability to experience emotions, of course, thereby reinforcing the idea that the soul is a vessel of emotion. Though life is temporary, the soul is eternal, with each life experienced adding to the sum of the whole, leading many to believe that the soul is the key to comprehending the Dao, and emotion pivotal to this process. Knowledge and understanding most certainly have their place when it comes to Insight, and can certainly help matters along, but some truths are unknowable and can only be experienced by oneself, for it requires a unique perspective and therefore a unique soul to wholly comprehend. Hence the term ‘cultivate’, or otherwise read as ‘nurture truth’, with the truths being made plain through the Dao itself.” Mom, Dad, and Akanai have nothing to add, though Grandpa Du mutters something about how ‘study truth’ also fits, but the etymology and philosophy is largely lost on me, so Monk Happy continues, “In short, Insight is a matter of the Soul perceiving the Heavenly Dao and translating that information into something the mind and body can understand, whereas Impartation of Heavenly Energy would be using one’s Soul to share one’s own unique perception so that others might benefit as well.”

I understand the words being said, but how it applies to anything even remotely relevant escapes me entirely, because as Gerel once told me, I lack faith. Thus, the fact that most people believe the Mother is personally whispering secrets into the ears of Martial Warriors the world round just seems kinda ridiculous to me, as if the universe doesn’t have anything better to do than teach mortals kung fu. Seeing and feeling my skepticism due to my inability to control my facial expressions and Aura both, Monk Happy just barely manages to keep from rolling his eyes and moves on to a more convincing argument. “If this much is not enough to convince you of the mechanism behind Insight, then perhaps you should reflect upon what you have personally experienced with regards to your more atypical steps along your Path, and then you will understand why this monk and many others believe the soul is pivotal to the process of Insight, which can be shared using Heavenly Energy as the medium.”

It takes a moment to understand what he’s tiptoeing around, namely my brush with near-Defilement, the relevance of which is lost upon me until I cycle back to the topic of discussion, only to feel stupid for not realizing it sooner. Monk Happy is talking about Spectres, and how they’re fragments of souls capable of delivering Insight to their hosts, and thus supporting his statement that the soul is the key to comprehending the Dao. Now that I think about it, it doesn’t even seem that far-fetched. I personally experienced how a soul is capable of processing information on a scale beyond what the human mind is capable of, when I somehow separated from my mortal shell and touched upon some form of limited omniscience during the withdrawal from Castle JiangHu.

So when you look at it that way, then it makes sense that this information can be shared.

The events of that fateful day bring to mind another fact that I’d almost since forgotten. “Er... I think I understand, and more than that, I believe you’re right, that this is what happened with Mila and myself. I also think this isn’t the first time I’ve err... Imparted anything, though I think this was the first time I did so... directly?” I haven’t had time to explain everything that happened during that particular withdrawal, so I quickly go over my experience of the event, though quickly is a matter of perspective. Between questions and clarifications, it takes the better part of three hours to go over what happened on that fateful day and how I spent the weeks thereafter sequestered away in my Natal Palace. I tell them about how I helped Rustram Develop his Domain and Heal Sai Chou, only to be ambushed inside my Natal Palace by Zhen Shi and tricked into leaving. I tell them all about how he tortured and tormented me for what felt like lifetimes without end as I toiled and suffered in the mines once more. Though I try my best to stick to the facts and avoid getting into the nitty, gritty details, I cannot help but recount how I gave in to his demands and severed my own fingers to avoid further pain, because this was pivotal to my understanding of what comes next.

It’s not easy to bare my soul, even to my family and loved ones, but I finally share with them the embarassing reason for my latest coma. The depths of my shame and despair knows no bounds, for this was a secret which until now, only the Abbot was privy to, though I know Yan had picked up on my lingering presence, and I cannot bear to look anyone in the eyes for fear of what I might see hidden behind them. It helps that the animals all sense my melancholy and gather round to comfort me, with Ping Ping pressing against my leg and Mama Bun nuzzling in my embrace while the bears, wildcats, rabbits, and laughing birds gather in close around me. I love animals so freaking much, I wish I had more arms to hug them, and it warms my heart to see my family step up and accept the floofy snuggles in my place, with not a single lap left empty as people and animals alike seek comfort from one another while I regale them with tales of my weakness and stupidity.

Clearing my throat with a sip of long-cold tea, I succinctly summarize in full. “So yea. Quick recap, I stepped into the Uniter’s waiting trap, then tried very hard to sever all emotions for fear of being hurt again, and while hiding like a coward, I somehow stumbled across some form of limited omniscience which I then used to help guide countless Martial Warriors on the battlefield with help from my severed Natal Souls. Truth be told, the whole experience is kinda muddled and I can’t really remember who I helped or how, or really anything besides the fact that I did it, so it’s not all that useful right now.” I’m guessing I had something to do with the Stormguard, the widespread mastery of Panacea, and the Defiled tribesmen making their way to the Brotherhood, but while I know I probably helped others along, the details escape me. Somewhere along the way, I just... forgot what I did, the memories lost the same way I lost my limited omniscience. My brain was too smooth to store all the information contained in my thick, girthy soul, which is infuriating to the extreme. I know I did something amazing, I just have no idea how to go about doing it again with consistent success.

Trying to get past the topic of my stupidity and cowardice and how I hid away for many months because I was too afraid to live or die, I conclude, “So I guess I’ve already, you know... done the whole Impartation thing before, I just never had a name for it.”

My efforts to quickly change the subject fall flat as no one utters a peep, the silence deafening as everyone else struggles to find the words to speak. We all know that nothing they say will ever ease the sting of my admission, so everyone is keeping quiet so their disappointment doesn’t show through. Loving and supportive as always, Lin-Lin eases her way onto my lap and snuggles into my chest while Mila wraps her arms around mine and clutches my hand ever so tightly. Moving to take up my wifey’s vacated chair, Yan silently rests her head on my shoulder and gently strokes the back of my neck, their love and support causing my tears to spill out, so I closed my eyes and weep as quietly as I can. These are not tears of joy befitting the love of my wives, but rather tears of gratitude to know that they still love me even though I’m such a huge fuck up.

“You are a fool.” Cutting through the silence with her customary, matter-of-fact manner, Song drums her fingers against the table in a rare show of agitation, but if ever there were a time, it would be now. I spent weeks in a coma and worried everyone half to death, so I can’t blame her for being angry once they learned I was hiding away in a dark room and avoiding everyone like a scared child. Snarling to ward away my Aura, Song fixes me with a glare of uncharacteristic fury as her gaze captures my attention and refuses to let me look away. “To hear you tell it, you would accept blame for the sun not rising in the west, as if you had any control over it. You fought and faltered, but failure is not the end. Stop blaming yourself for matters outside of your control. You faced a foe too strong to defeat, but you survived. Take pride in that, because to do otherwise would be to look down on everyone else in this room.” Pointing at Akanai, Song explains, “Mama fought Bai Qi to a standstill, but was unable to kill him. Should she feel ashamed? No, she should be proud of her achievements, for her foe was formidable, as was yours. Were you a rabbit, you would be ashamed for being unable to defeat the wolf, which is just foolish and of no help to anyone. You fought, you survived, and you continue to fight. Take pride in that, if nothing else.”

“Indeed.” Having remained silent until now, I glance at Dad in reflex at the sound of his voice, and his dour disappointment is a blow I won’t soon recover from. “This is a lesson I did not teach you because I believed you already learned it well, but this is my mistake, as your father and Mentor. Listen carefully son; no Path is easily tread, for there will always be trials and tribulations abound. Failure is inevitable, but so long as you draw breath, it need not be the end, merely a new beginning. It matters not how often you stumble and fall. All that matters is that you survive to pick yourself up and continue forward, putting one foot in front of the other. So long as you never give up, you will continue to make progress, and you, my son, do not know the meaning of surrender.”

Though what they say makes sense, I cannot bring myself to feel any differently about my failures, and I think everyone else sees it too. Sensing that we all need time to mull things over, Monk Happy suggests we take a break for the night, an escape I am more than happy to take. Still upset and indignant, Song nonetheless comes over to pat my head with a scowl, offering her support despite her frustration and showing me that she’s not angry, just annoyed. Luo-Luo offers a silent commiseration, her confusion coming off her in waves that are palpable even without an Aura to direct it, no doubt wondering how someone as fucked up as me could have even a tenth of the accomplishments I’ve attained. Mom, Alsantset, Akanai, Husolt, Grandpa Du, and Taduk all offer their own commiserations, but they are blinded by love alongside everyone else and cannot see beyond my failings.

This pity party is a bit much even for me, but I can’t help it, because this is the first time I’m really coming to terms with my failures, and even retiring to bed for the night with Mila and Yan at my sides is not enough to lift me from my misery. All of my mistakes shape my perspective and count as steps along my Path, but that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing when I slip and face plant into dog shit. I was so close to greatness, but arrived there through fear and self-loathing combined with an overwhelming desire to escape and the determination to do so no matter the cost. There was so much I could’ve done with my power, yet what did I really accomplish? Nothing in the grand scheme of things, save for guiding a few errant Defiled into the arms of the Brotherhood and causing pain to the people I love most. There is no need for Zhen Shi to manipulate my emotions, because this is how I truly feel, but things aren’t the same as before. Rather than be overcome with the desire to run and hide, I want nothing more than to be better and rise above this mess that I’ve grown into and become the person I aspire to be, the Legate Falling Rain who others believe I already am.

Which I like to think is a step in the right direction, even if it is a step I should have taken long ago.

Hours pass as I lie in bed and reflect on my past actions, wondering just how I got where I am, and after some heavy introspection, I believe I finally know why I ‘seek the Dao’, as the Abbot put it, or why I seek strength despite my desire for peace and tranquility. I’ve always struggled to come up with an answer, because I thought I didn’t have one, but I knew the real answer all along and just treated it like a joke. To be fair, ‘because magic is awesome’ is hardly a serious answer to why I wanna be strong, but when you get right down to it, that is the sole reason I am so fixated on the Dao. The Martial Path is cool and all, but I have always wanted to be more than just a powerful warrior. I wanted to be a hand-waving, spell-chanting, circle-drawing, fire-throwing, dragon summoning wizard, to wield magic beyond what others can comprehend. I wanted this new life to be magical, because it was new and exciting, something I lacked in my previous life and wanted to obtain in order to cure all that ails me. Surely a sorcerer supreme would have confidence and charisma in spades, lacking the debilitating anxiety I experience every time I approach a stranger for conversation. Surely a powerful wizard would having nothing to fear, an almighty, mysterious master of the mystic arts who few would care to challenge.

In short, I sought the Dao because I wanted to be someone else, someone besides a reincarnated man dealing with PTSD and the rigours of adapting to a new, difficult life. I wanted to be Baledagh, Warrior of the People, unburdened by the memories of my past life and free to pursue the peak of the Martial Path, all because I could not master my fear and allowed myself to be driven by it, just like Charok and so many others have pointed out. I am still largely driven by fear, but unlike before, I believe I can now embrace it and accept it for what it is, rather than be consumed and controlled by it like before. A bold claim for a guy who just ordered a preliminary strike against the Enemy for fear of the war spiralling out of control, but again, if the Colonel Generals can’t come up with a workable plan, then I will try a different approach. I am not confident of winning a defensive war with the resources we have, because we have already lost many powerful Martial Warriors and will lose more as time goes on, Warriors we cannot replace without decades of training and effort. In contrast, Zhen Shi’s forces are quickly growing by the day, and not only does he have Demons to rely on, his half-Demonic Warriors are a force to be reckoned with.

Eventually, my worries give way before sheer exhaustion and I fall asleep in the snuggled embrace of my wives and floofs, the sweet peace of blissful oblivion a balm for my mind and soul.

The next morning, I wake to sweet Mila shaking me none too gently and saying something about lunch while Yan watches from the side with a smirk. My throbbing migraine has yet to subside, which is a little off putting to say the least, compounded by the distinct absence of floofs nestled in my embrace. Probably because it’s almost lunch time and the animals are outside playing in the courtyard, which means I’ve been sleeping for at least ten to twelve hours depending on what time I finally fell asleep. That’s a good sign at least, since it means I’m catching up on much needed rest instead of tossing and turning all night before giving up and doing something else. After determining there’s nothing physically wrong with me besides the headache and muscle pains, my sweet wives help me get dressed before wrapping me in their warm embrace. “Are you alright?” Mila asks, knowing I’m not, but affording me the opportunity to open up rather than forcing me to face the harsh truth, and I appreciate her effort to approach this with a gentle touch.

No doubt she’s been coached by Yan, who chimes in with, “You can talk to us about anything, you know that right?”

Anything except my deepest, darkest secret which would fill her with disgust and revulsion, for I am not the youthful, childhood friend she thinks I am but rather a body-snatching reincarnator who took advantage of three naive, wide-eyed girls and convinced them to marry me through lies and deception.

Since my Aura is undoubtedly giving away how I feel, there’s no point lying, and I shouldn’t since they’re concerned for my well-being and just want to know how I’m doing. Holding them both close for comfort and support, I push down my guilt and lock it away inside, because I would rather deal with it for a lifetime than risk losing even one of these wonderful women, much less all of them alongside the rest of my family. It’s not fair to them even in the slightest, but I will take this secret to the grave and spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my sins.

“I’m... not great,” I admit, and even this tiny bit of honesty pains me. “I’m aching all over, more tired than ever, and have a headache that feels like there’s an invisible elephant stomping away at the back of my head. I’m also scared, terrified even, because no matter what I do, I cannot see a future in which the outer provinces hold the western border against the Enemy, not as things stand now. I will fight to the bitter end and do everything I can to stave off defeat, but I fear this lull might well represent the last chance we have to turn things around before the Enemy overwhelms us through sheer weight of numbers.”

I can tell that even though they are concerned, neither Yan nor Mila are convinced my doom and gloom is credible, steadfast in their belief of the Imperial Army. They trust their military commanders to hold the Western Wall, or if not, that we will take up the good fight and drive the Defiled threat back, especially now with my Runic Cannons to turn the tide. Alas, those weapons of war are not easy to create, and the Tyrant is the only person who can make them, so I doubt we’ll have more than fifteen cannons in total when the time comes for our counter attack. Even if we don’t push out, I fear those cannons are not enough to turn the tides of battle, not once the Enemy musters another army or two to equal the one we just sent packing. Honestly, I have no idea where everyone’s confidence stems from, because from my point of view, it feels as if the outer provinces are doomed to fall. It’s possible their endless optimism stems from their confidence in an Empire that has withstood the test of time and prevailed against everything the Enemy has thrown at them thus far, or perhaps due to confidence in their own personal skills as well as the skills of their superiors. Then again, maybe it’s just faith in the Mother Above, for She always leaves a path to survival, but as Gerel pointed out long ago, I am a man sorely lacking in faith.

What I do not lack however, is stubborn determination, possessed of a will so resolute I refused to die even when I was too afraid to live, which is something I guess.

Leaning in to nuzzling both my wives at once, I sigh and add, “I also have a whole lot to work through, both mentally and emotionally, but I’ve learned my lesson well this time. I’m sorry for making you worry, and I promise you this: whatever tomorrow might bring, we will face it together, for I will never run away from you or my loved ones ever again.”

“You better not,” Yan replies, gently headbutting me while Mila bites my cheek. “Else I’ll chase you down to the end of the earth and drag you back myself, assuming Mila doesn’t beat me to it.”

“Better if we chained him to us now,” Mila adds, half-joking and half serious, “So you remember that we’re here for you no matter what.”

“Mercy beloved, your husband begs your forgiveness.”

After reassuring them both for some time, we head out to wake Lin-Lin and help her get ready for the day. Seeing her sleepy expression break into a cherubic smile is a balm for the soul, and I take the time to brush her hair just like I used to. Leaning back to study me with her big, brown eyes, my lovely wifey asks, “Hubby, you’re feeling better now, ya?” At my nod, she beams with charming delight before scowling in adorable pique. “Good, because I have a bone to pick with you, mister. For the last little while, I noticed that whenever you played with Blackjack, you’d toss him into the air and frown every time he came back down. You were trying to Impart Cloud-Stepping, weren’t you? Not fair hubby, how come you didn’t try teaching me instead?” So taken aback by her unexpected interrogation, I resist the urge to break out into nervous laughter, but thankfully, she doesn’t expect an answer. Leaning back with a huff, she flashes an adorable grimace and huffs, “It’s not funny hubby. If Blackjack learns how to Cloud-Step before I do, I’m gonna be mad, ya?”

“My most humble apologies, sweet wifey. I’ll work hard and figure out Impartation so we can go Cloud-Stepping through the skies together.”

“Hubby really treats me best. Love you.”

“Love you more.” All sugar and smiles once more, Lin-Lin hums a happy little tune and lets me get back to brushing her hair, when it occurs to me there is another matter I have yet to address. “So... about our marriage...”

Cutting me off without giving me a chance to speak, Lin-Lin says, “I already asked Luo-Luo, and she says it’s best to wait a bit until things settle down, but we shouldn’t wait too long since most of the guests we’d invite are already here. She’s gonna organize everything, so you just need to show up, okay?” Reverse headbutting my shoulder, my sweet wifey shoots me a glare and dares me to say something stupid, but I am wise enough to abandon my efforts. If she really wants to marry me, it doesn’t matter what I say, because her answer will always be yes. I think even if I told her the whole truth about who I am, she wouldn’t care, but I’m not sure about everyone else. They love me too, but Lin-Lin will forgive me for anything I do, even lying to her about who I am for so many years.

She’s not one to concern herself with the nitty gritty details like that. All she cares about is how I treat her, and that’s all the reason she needs to love me. She’s a lot like the floofs in that regard, her love contingent on my actions alone, rather than my character or achievements. Even if I was an incompetent, cowardly, good for nothing failure, Lin-Lin would still be my sweet wifey, because as she so loves to point out, I treat her the best.

Kissing her cheek as I squeeze her tight, I hold her in my arms and share just how much I love and adore her through Aura and action. Going on a hunch, I tap into my passion and reflect on my experiences of Cloud-Stepping through the skies, sharing with her the emotions I felt while carrying her on our journey to the Arid Wastes and back. Despite the fears and concerns I had to face, Lin-Lin’s sense of adventure and unmitigated delight were a treat to behold, her lighthearted gaiety and unconstrained joie de vivre just two of the many reasons why I love her so.

True to her Cloud Chaser Hare heritage, my sweet wifey is wholly suited for running through the skies, a free spirit unbound by custom or convention who marches to the beat of her own drum. Though some might think her simple and naive, her straightforward nature and guileless exterior conceals her resourceful intelligence well, a brilliant mind unburdened by doubt and indecision like my own. Guided by her unerring intuition, Lin-Lin floats through life doing whatever she pleases, and her charming nature ensures that everyone who meets her wants nothing more than to help her find joy and success through every step of her journey.

Though my efforts to Impart Cloud-Stepping to Lin-Lin bears no fruit, I intend to keep trying until we can soar through the skies side by side, perhaps even with Mila and Yan if I’m feeling greedy, which I most certainly always am.

The next few days pass in relative peace as I settle into the routine of running the outer provinces, acclimating to my newfangled strength, and trying to figure out Impartation. There are a thousand and one things to oversee which have nothing to do with the coming counter-offensive, matters of business, politics, and general civility which I refuse to leave unchallenged. During my convalescence, Shuai Jiao took command and did a commendable job holding things together, but I cannot help but resent him for how he handled certain matters. Since withdrawing from the second line, the Enemy has been aggressively targeting our Elites and Peak Experts with non-stop Wraith attacks, and while casualties seem remarkably low, I can’t help but notice a pattern when looking into the surviving families. While the majority of Peak Experts are backed by powerful clans or factions, there are still a significant number of first-generation powerhouses like the Ryo Family, and flagging households propped up by a single Peak Expert, like the Ru or Ishin Families. Having lost their pillar of support, these households are now facing significant pressure from their provincial rivals, and their plight is what led me to look into the matter further.

What I found was that when looking at Peak Experts alone, the bulk of the causalities were Warriors who fit into one of the two aforementioned categories. Being the suspicious soul that I am, I first suspected foul play was involved, but after looking into it, I discovered that matters were even worse than I feared. It wasn’t intentional treason that led the Wraiths to prey on these isolated talents, but rather the ingrained competitive nature of Imperial factions that led to their demise. Instead of banding together to protect against Wraith attacks, the households scattered apart to defend themselves, which is what led to the demise of so many isolated Peak Experts. A wholly avoidable scenario, but one Shuai Jiao paid no mind to, because such is life. The strong thrive, and the weak die, that is the political mindset of not only Central, but the outer provinces as a whole, though I would be lying if I didn’t say things were worse here in the heart of the Empire. Now, not only are the Ryo and Ishin families struggling beneath the machinations of their political rivals, the Ru family has been all but scattered to the winds, a former mercantile power ripped apart and devoured like a stag brought down by wolves.

Hardly a just reward for Ru Minsu’s life of service, one which culminated in a valiant death during the withdrawal from Castle JiangHu, to say nothing of Ishin Shigen and Ryo Dae Jung.

That is merely the fate of one family, and as I dug further into things, I found many stories just like it. While I’ve been focused on fighting a war for survival, the families and factions of the Empire are playing games of politics and power, something I knew all along but never really paid too much mind to, at least not when it didn’t involve me personally. Now, seeing the pressure being put on the Ryo and Ishin families, I cannot help but wonder why any Peak Expert would care enough to risk their lives for the Empire if this is the reward for their efforts, to have everything they’ve worked for stolen away the moment their lives are lost.

Worst of all, since taking charge, Shuai Jiao has not only tacitly approved of such despicable tactics targeting the families of fallen heroes, he’s even used them to his own personal advantage. Mitsue Juichi’s withdrawal benefited him the most, and now he stands to gain even more in the wake of Ryo Dae Jung’s death, for now he has all of Central rallying to his cause. There are other signs to be wary of, like Luo-Luo’s inability to uncover the culprit behind a number of economical attacks, such as the real-estate takeover which has now fallen flat due to Liu Xuande’s plan to excavate a massive harbour instead of rebuilding the Citadel as it was. I cannot help but suspect Shuai Jiao’s influence in these sordid matters, leading me to wonder if this ‘honourable’ and ‘righteous’ Commander General is more of a snake than he lets on.

More things to be wary of and problems I have no solutions for, but being the master delegator that I am, I set Luo-Luo and Liu Xuande to task, and even enlist MuYang to take a closer look at our esteemed Commander General. It’s not that I suspect he might betray the Empire, but I believe that if given the chance, he would gladly order my death if it wouldn’t adversely affect the outer provinces too too much. Shen ZhenWu was grooming Shuai Jiao’s Disciple Yong-Jin as my replacement, and I can’t imagine that would’ve happened without the Commander General’s approval, meaning our priorities are not as aligned as I would like.

Unfortunately, there isn’t too much I can do just yet except proceed with care and watch my back. On the plus side, the Brotherhood’s assistance is much appreciated as they improve and streamline how the Districts are managed, as well as providing a much needed service with Spiritual guidance. Though I am not a religious man by any measure, I always found it odd that the Empire was so lax in their devotion to the Mother above, lacking any temples or traditions related to religion outside of personal piety and devotion. From the Abbot’s memories, I now know there was a time when the Brotherhood gave sermons to the public, and I also know that interference from the Imperial Clan is probably why they stopped. That being said, I can always feign ignorance in the Abbot’s absence, so while I never officially asked the monks to start up their sermons again, a few words with Monk Happy is all it takes to convince him that the world would benefit if the Brotherhood was more active with their efforts.

After five days of meetings and discussions with friends and comrades while keeping myself occupied with busywork, my headache finally subsides, at which point Dad and Akanai take a personal interest in my sparring matches. Thus far, I’d mostly been sparring with Gerel, though I also traded blows with Kyung, Da’in, Ishin Ken-Shibu, Tam Taewoong and several other stand out talents, mostly for political theatre. Having fought without using too much Chi for so many days, I’ve been itching to try out my big moves again outside of my Natal Palace, but my Mentor and Grand-Mentor have different plans, and instead force me to continue sparring in the same manner so that I can ‘shore up my shaky foundations’. According to Dad, I have all the necessary tools to call myself a Peak Expert, but I lack the knowledge and experience needed to use said tools to their full potential. It’s like I inherited a restaurant with a fully stocked kitchen and I have no idea how to cook, but rather than sit down to teach me the family recipes, Dad and Akanai believe I’ll learn more from trial and error at the school of hard knocks. Though I am less than pleased, I trust them to know best and suffer a string of grievous defeats at their merciless hands, while also meeting with trusted friends and loyal soldiers to try and figure out Impartation, alongside my nocturnal efforts with Mila and Yan in pursuit of the same goal. Though I have yet to succeed again, I cannot give up, for this skill might well be the key to defeating the Enemy. If I can figure out how to replicate my success with the Stormguard and go on to raise commoners to Domain Capable Peak Experts in a short time frame, then I could gather an army to match anything the Enemy can throw at me.

Even in sleep, I do not rest, and instead train with Ping Ping, Pong Pong, Mama Bun, and Buddy every night in my Natal Palace, after an appropriate amount of playing of course. I love seeing them all get along, especially Buddy who is having a grand old time with all his new friends, and watching them run and play is a balm for the soul and a sight for sore eyes.

Two weeks later, Dad finds me late at night, fully armoured and ready for battle. “It is time,” he says, and I suppress the urge to sigh now that my relatively peaceful days have come to an end. The full out offensive isn’t planned until a few months from now and still has a lot of kinks to work out, but there’s a lot we need to do before then. Mostly, I need to gain influence to sway more factions to my cause and set myself up as a true contender against Shuai Jiao before I can truly unite the outer provinces, but in order to do so, I need to prove myself strong enough to stand above him and the other Colonel Generals and Marshals, so it’s time to pull out all the stops and show the world what I can really do.

After bidding my family and floofs farewell, I leave with Dad, Pong Pong, and Rakky to link up with Kuang Biao, a contingent of Royal Guardians, and the Azure Ascendants. Greeting them all with a nod, I try not to feel self-conscious in my golden, Legate armour and give them my best smile. “Alright then,” I say, projecting a confidence which is only half-faked and glad to finally have something to do. “Who’s ready to go badger hunting?”

Chapter Meme