Seeking for Your Forgiveness

“But it’s better to appear neat because it’s my first day at work, right? Yes, I should choose this one.”

As if she had made up her mind, she took out the most modest navy-colored dress. The texture of the fabric was rough on her finger. However, the dress allowed her to move more easily because it had no shabby decoration.

“Good idea. It’s not bad.”

Marianne smiled pleasantly at her reflection. The rough fabric that rubbed against her skin didn’t feel that uncomfortable. No, rather, it felt comfortable, as if she was wearing her own clothes.

Marianne’s father was a low-ranked official at the City Hall. Her mother split his low salary and they lived frugally.

Her life as Lady Schneider was sometimes overwhelming for Marianne. Rather than arousing satisfaction, unimaginable prices for clothing and jewelry only aroused her fear.

However, she thought her life once depended on Kristoff. If Lady Schneider appeared with shabby clothing, Kristoff would be the one to pay the price. She didn’t want him to be in trouble.

“I shouldn’t be thinking about useless things.”

Marianne shook her head lightly, as if to shake off her messy thoughts. The result of her every thought was always Kristoff.

Kristoff Schneider.

Her husband, the definition of a perfect man, was everything.

“Is he still my husband?”

Checking herself in the mirror, Marianne opened the door and went out. Her blond hair, which had always been tied up beautifully, was braided one way and hung in front of her chest.

When she arrived downstairs, she saw Madam Liszt, the landlord, carrying a bucket.

“Good morning, Madam.”

Several days had passed, but Marianne was quite satisfied with the boarding house. This was because Madam Liszt’s cooking skills were really great, which lived up to the coachman’s words.

However, she liked it even more upon knowing the fact that she was the only one who lived in this two-story building house.

“It’s your first day at work, Ms. Klo…… No, I mean Marianne.”

She awkwardly corrected herself after calling Marianne as ‘Madam Klose’ when she appeared in all-black attire.

“Yes, I’m very anxious about it.”

Marianne whined while making a sullen face. It was something she never imagined when she still held the title as Lady Schneider. As a commoner, revealing their true feelings was considered shallow behavior.

She thought that this is what they meant when clothes create a person. When she saw things that came out naturally, when she didn’t do it back then.

It wasn’t Marianne Schneider, but Marianne Kloze. The side of herself that even she forgot about for a while.

Marianne dropped her gaze and cried again.

“I couldn’t sleep well last night. I had nightmares every time I fell asleep.”

“Oh, dear.”

It was her first time being nervous about something. Although she knew it wasn’t a big deal after she experienced it, she just couldn’t stop being anxious on her own  until then.

She was still the same. On the day of doing her first errand, on the first day of going to school, on the day of her first exam. And on the special day, which was the day when she got married to Kristoff.

Every time she got nervous to this extent she felt as if her heart was going to pop out of her mouth, but she did a great job on all of that so far. That’s why she will do well again this time. There’s no way she couldn’t suddenly do it as she had been doing well so far.

Marianne muttered those words over and over again as if to cast a spell on herself and raise her spirit.

“We’ll see, aren’t you going to bring an umbrella?”

Madam Liszt, who was observing her, put down the bucket in her hand and asked. Marianne shook her head.

“I don’t want any flaws of mine to be spotted. It must be an eyesore, but if I bring the umbrella, I will definitely be scolded, ‘You must have come with great luck.’.”

“It’s not like that, Marianne.”

Madam Liszt put her hands on her waist as if to forbid her from saying something she hasn’t known yet. She raised her eyes slightly.

“Umbrellas are necessary to blow those kinds of people off.”

“!”

Marianne suddenly burst into laughter after opening her eyes widely at the unexpected answer of Madam Liszt. Then, all of the tension seemed to have left her body.

Ahaha, she laughed while wiping the tears around her eyes, and stared at Madam Liszt with an affectionate gaze.

“Thank you, Madam. I’ll be back.”

“Have a safe trip. I’m going to show off my cooking skills for dinner tonight, so you can look forward to it. Let’s celebrate your first day at work together.”

“Wow, I’m more energized than being cheered the other way.”

After saying that, Marianne left the boarding house. Madam Liszt followed her to the front door and saw her off.

Marianne didn’t take out the umbrella, but she walked bravely, her hands swaying back and forth. If she met someone who picked a fight with her, she thought about blowing their head with her own fist, not the umbrella.

***

The Police Agency was located in the middle of the old town. Blauberg, which embraces the mountains, flatland, and the sea, smelled like salt everywhere. Whenever she took a whiff of air, she felt the salty taste.

It took only fifteen minutes from the boarding house to the Police Agency. Arriving quite leisurely, Marianne took a deep breath while looking up at the old stone building.

“This is where I’m going to work from now on.”

The Police Agency building, which was built of gray-stone walls, emitted a majestic vibe which somehow seemed to show the amount of years it endured there.

It wasn’t only the anxiety making her heart start pounding hard and beating loudly. The dream which she once let go, was now right in front of her.

“All right.”

Marianne took another deep breath and walked ahead. Entering the building, she asked the first person she met for the location of the commissioner’s office.

There was a man who yawned with an exhausted face while looking Marianne up and down. His voice sounds dull.

“Why are you looking for the commissioner’s office?”

The man, who acknowledged the situation, asked in a defensive manner. If the answer he got wasn’t the positive one, he would kick her out immediately.

Marianne stared at him with a graceful smile. What she learned during her time as Lady Schneider is that sometimes a smile is more powerful than any words.

Inevitably, the man scratched his head with a confused look on his face. His subdued voice fired back at her.

“Did you make an appointment with the commissioner?”

“Of course.”

“Oh I see, this is different. The commissioner’s office is upstairs, at the end of the corridor on the right.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, miss.”

Marianne left him behind and moved on.

The man watched Marianne while scratching his eyebrows until she climbed the stairs. The meaningful look in his eyes reminded him of the commissioner’s mistress.

Perhaps, many things will happen in the future. The police agency was a restrained place for women, and even more unsuitable for women to work in.

“I’m saying it’s been like that until now. I’m not saying that will be the case in the future.”

Marianne stood in front of the room at the end of the hall and fixed her clothes. Knock, knock, knock, she heard a voice giving her permission to come in.

Marianne, who heard the voice was younger than she thought, questioned her own senses and realized the reason right away. The young man, who appeared to be a secretary, greeted her in a kind manner. There was another heavy door on the wall.

“Ms. Marianne Haveck?”

The secretary stood up and pretended to be indifferent.

“Yes.”

Marianne nodded solemnly. Haveck was her mother’s surname before getting married. She was more famously known as Lady Schneider than Marianne Kloze, but there was no harm in being careful.

She didn’t know about others, but people like the commissioner might know her name. She didn’t remember seeing the police commissioner at the banquet in the past, but Marianne was just being cautious.

The secretary led her to the other door with a friendly smile.

The secretary knocked on the door, and soon granted permission to come in. This time, the voice was as she predicted, experienced and somber.

The secretary, who opened the door, stepped aside and casted his eyes on her.

“Please come in.”

“Thank you.”

Marianne returned the smile that lived up to her manner and went in. The room was a bit smaller than Kristoff’s office.

However, the structure was not much different. There was a desk in front of the window, a bookshelf that filled one side of the wall, and a sofa as well as a table for guests.

Maybe it was dictated by the law. But in most cases, it wouldn’t be that outdated all the time.

Marianne looked at the man sitting on his desk with a clear-looking face, as if he hadn’t thought of a different idea.

He slowly got up with raised eyebrows. The man, whose head was half-bald, had a fairly good body for his age.

“Nice to meet you, Commissioner Wilhelm Simon.”

“Call Nicholas.”

Simon, who instructed his secretary, eventually looked at her. His dark brown eyes reflected his complicated mind. A stare of confusion, disapproval, and a hint of curiosity were directed at her.

“Well, so Ms…… Marianne Haveck? I don’t know how to address you. It’s our first time accepting a woman in the police agency.”

“What do you call the other officers?”

“I’ll just call them by their name. Sometimes I call them by their position when I’m angry, and it’s because we’ve known each other for a long time.”

“You can call me that way too. We’ll probably see each other for quite a while.”

Marianne didn’t want to be treated differently. She glanced at him and pulled the corners of her lips. Simon, whose eyebrows twitched, represented his surprise, nodded.

“All right, Haveck.”

“Please call me Marianne, Chief.”

“Fine, Marianne.”

Simon called her name in an unexpectedly refreshing way. Marianne straightened her back even more and her gesture caught his eye.

Simon’s eyes lit up upon seeing that. From her tone and gesture, it wasn’t difficult to guess that she was a woman who came from a high-class background.

Then, a cheap dress and hat without a trace of the designer’s name.

Simon, who was once again observing her appearance, had a mysterious expression on his face. As if assessing between her lofty attitude and unrefined appearance.

Could she be the daughter of a ruined noble family?

Marianne Haveck.

Simon repeated the name quietly, as he had done for the past few days. However, there was no specific person who came to his mind. The name ‘Marianne’ wasn’t uncommon, and he had never heard of ‘Haveck’ before.

“The marquis…… has recommended you. I want you to do your best not to bring trouble to his name.”

“Yes, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“But how do you know the Marquis?”

Simon asked while trying hard to make it sound like a trivial question. However, Marianne knew that he was actually paying extra attention to her answer.

She answered in a casual tone.

“I just treated him kindly last time, and I think he deemed it as a debt. He knew I wanted to be a police officer, so he granted me this opportunity. I’m grateful to him.”

“…….So you’re not close with him?”

“Not at all. How do I be close to such a high-ranking person?”

“All right.”

It was when Simon nodded at Marianne’s hypocritical answer. The door opened after one knock. Dark-brown haired man with a square face entered the office. His sharp eyes and tightly-closed mouth gave out a stubborn impression.

“Did you call me, Chief Commissioner?”

“Oh, Nicholas.”

Nicholas, who glanced briefly at Marianne, moved beside her. Simon introduced Marianne to him.

“This is Marianne Haveck.”

Nicholas’ gaze lingered curiously at her for a moment. Their eyes met, “You can call me Marianne.” she said with a smile.

Nicholas still looked stunned when he greeted her slightly.

“He’s the police officer whom you’ll work with in a team from now on.”

Nicholas frowned for a moment. Forgetting the fact that his action was considered rude.