Solitary Toss of Tenderness

Lu Zizheng, happy birthday

The next day, after having breakfast, Lu Zizheng, along with Lian Xuan’s assistant, Ji Yao, and Lian Xuan herself, gathered at the Jiangbei branch office to discuss the specifics of their cooperation with the Japanese company in the afternoon. When Lu Zizheng first saw Lian Xuan, there was a moment of awkwardness. Surprisingly, Lian Xuan seemed completely unfazed and calmly took out some documents, sitting across from Lu Zizheng.

Frowning, Lu Zizheng looked at Lian Xuan’s composed demeanor and couldn’t help but wonder if everything from the night before was merely her own overthinking and imagination.

She chuckled bitterly, realizing that her restless night was all in vain.

The afternoon meeting with the other party went smoothly, and they agreed to have dinner together in the evening. At the dinner table, to everyone’s surprise, Lian Xuan generously accepted every drink offered to her, as if she were immune to the effects of alcohol, downing glass after glass.

Lu Zizheng was unfamiliar with Lian Xuan’s typical behavior at the dinner table, but she could tell that both the assistant and Ji Yao were somewhat astonished, their expressions tinged with concern.

As the banquet came to an end and the night grew late, they stepped out of the clubhouse, only to find an unusually quiet and serene surroundings.

Ji Yao helped Lian Xuan into the car, hesitating for a moment before instructing Lu Zizheng, “She’s had a bit too much to drink. If anything happens, please take care of her.”

Lu Zizheng nodded and got into the backseat of the car alongside Lian Xuan.

Shortly after the car started, Lian Xuan turned her face to the side, her voice sounding weak as she asked, “Can I lean on your shoulder? I have a headache and I want to rest for a while.”

Lu Zizheng bit her lip, unsure of how to refuse. She knew she had a soft heart. So, in the end, she stiffened her body and slightly moved closer, lowering her left shoulder.

Lian Xuan, without any hesitation, tilted her head and rested it on Lu Zizheng’s slightly slender shoulder.

Many years ago, when Lian Xuan rested her head on Lu Zizheng’s shoulder, she felt it was heavy, so heavy, as if shouldering the weight of the world, but her heart was filled with joy. And now, Lu Zizheng still felt it was heavy, so heavy, as if a colossal stone pressed upon her chest, making it hard to breathe.

When the car reached halfway, Lian Xuan suddenly sat up straight and softly instructed, “Xiao Wang, please stop the car on the side. I want to get out and get some fresh air.”

Lu Zizheng looked at Lian Xuan in astonishment, not understanding why.

The car stopped on a stretch of the coastal road, and Lian Xuan opened the door and got out. Lu Zizheng had no choice but to accompany her.

On the late-night coastal road, there were only speeding vehicles, the howling sea breeze, and tall street lamps standing lonely. Lian Xuan, with unsteady steps, walked along the railing, swaying under the streetlights.

Lu Zizheng slowed her pace and followed behind, watching her figure sway in the darkness, leaving behind a long and slender shadow of loneliness.

Suddenly, Lian Xuan stopped in her tracks, leaning against the railing, and turned to look at Lu Zizheng, smiling as she said, “This stretch of road feels familiar, as if I’ve walked it countless times in my dreams.”

Lu Zizheng stood opposite her, surveying the surroundings, silently waiting for Lian Xuan to continue.

Lian Xuan let out a bitter smile and sighed, “Zizheng, you’ve grown up. It seems like you’ve become much quieter.”

Lu Zizheng remained silent.

Lian Xuan didn’t know that it wasn’t her who had become silent now, but rather, the version of herself who used to face Lian Xuan always had countless words to say and emotions to express.

Lost in her own thoughts, Lian Xuan continued, “This place, it reminds me of that coastal road we traveled together that year. The vast expanse of the sea, the endless stretch of asphalt road…” She seemed to be immersed in endless memories, her eyes filled with a glimmer, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Back then, there was a willow tree by the roadside, just sprouting new leaves. You teased me, unable to recognize the species of the tree…”

“We rented a tandem bicycle, and you confidently assured me that you knew how to ride it. But as soon as we got on, you started wobbling and tilting, and I was both scared and amused from behind, calling out and laughing. You even complained that I was being too loud and asked me to be quiet. Eventually, you mastered the technique, and the bike started to ride smoothly. However, you intentionally swayed the bike to frighten me. When I worriedly patted your back, you turned around, proudly smiling at me…”

She looked at Lu Zizheng, her gaze unwavering, her voice gentle and captivating. “Zizheng, you don’t know, but at that time, I was thinking, if this road had no end, we could just keep riding forever…”

Lu Zizheng pursed her lips, feeling a moment of daze, her nose tingling with a hint of sourness. But wait, wasn’t it Lian Xuan who got off the car first?

She walked up to Lian Xuan, standing side by side with her. Lian Xuan couldn’t see her expression, but she heard her faintly respond, “Is it? It’s been so long, I’ve forgotten…”

Lian Xuan quietly gazed at her figure for a moment, then turned her body and continued walking along the road ahead. Her voice carried a low sense of loneliness, the sound instantly swallowed by the sea breeze. “Is it? I thought everything was just yesterday…”

The wind grew stronger, and Lian Xuan, dressed lightly, hugged herself to ward off the cold.

Lu Zizheng stood in place, watching her walking farther and farther, unable to resist taking a few steps to catch up. She took off her coat and draped it over Lian Xuan, calmly saying, “It’s getting cold. Let’s go back, be careful not to catch a cold.”

Lian Xuan looked up deeply into her eyes, then lowered her head, pursed her lips, and smiled faintly, saying, “Okay…” Her hand tightened on Lu Zizheng’s coat, still carrying the lingering warmth of Lu Zizheng.

On the way back, neither of them spoke a word. Lian Xuan closed her eyes, as if exhausted and falling asleep.

Lu Zizheng glanced at her, wondering if Lian Xuan was reminiscing about the person she used to be, or perhaps about her own past self.

However, whether it was the present Lian Xuan or the Lian Xuan from years ago, how much sincerity did they both have for her?

Now, why did she need to display such an extremely nostalgic demeanor?

In the following three days, Lian Xuan was extremely busy, and Lu Zizheng only interacted with her assistant. Whenever they happened to meet, Lu Zizheng would wear her usual standardized smile. Lu Zizheng thought that the night on the coastal road must have been a momentary lapse caused by alcohol, and no one would bring it up again.

On Lu Zizheng’s birthday, she didn’t go anywhere. She stayed in her hotel room, working as a translator all day long.

At noon, Lu Zizheng’s mother called to check on her and reminded her to buy a bowl of noodles for herself, eat an egg, and save the birthday feast for when she returned.

Lu Zizheng smiled and playfully teased her mother, saying that she was the best mother in the world.

After hanging up the phone, Lu Zizheng looked at the contact list and murmured to herself, “I can’t believe there isn’t even a single phone call from Jiang Huaixi. Couldn’t the gift be delivered? Did the birthday wishes really get omitted?”

It was after 7 p.m. when Lu Zizheng finally went downstairs to the hotel restaurant and had a bowl of noodles and an egg, considering it as a celebration for her 27th birthday.

After setting down her chopsticks, she looked at her own reflection on the pristine surface of the noodles and silently wished herself a happy birthday.

Suddenly, her phone rang, and it was Lian Xuan, who had been silent for many days.

Lian Xuan’s voice was calm and composed. “Come to my room.”

The door was slightly ajar, and Lu Zizheng knocked twice before hearing Lian Xuan say, “Please come in.” She pushed the door open and entered. She had expected that Lian Xuan wanted to give her instructions for the upcoming days, but to her surprise, she found Lian Xuan sitting on the couch, without makeup and wearing only a shirt, as if she was about to rest. Lian Xuan sat there, with a small lamp turned on, and her eyes half-closed, listening to music.

Seeing Lu Zizheng enter the room, Lian Xuan flashed a smile and gestured towards the couch opposite her, indicating for Lu Zizheng to sit down. Then, she took out a box from a nearby bag and pushed it towards Lu Zizheng on the glass coffee table, speaking in a light and cheerful tone, “Happy birthday. It’s a birthday gift. Open it and see if you like it.”

Lu Zizheng never expected that Lian Xuan would remember. In that moment, she felt a mix of emotions—happiness, sadness, joy, and melancholy. Even she couldn’t distinguish them clearly.

In the end, all the emotions converged into a bitter smile on her lips. “Ms. Lian, it would be enough to receive your blessings. Thank you. The gift is too precious.” As she spoke, she pushed the box back.

Lian Xuan’s smile didn’t fade, and her gaze remained fixed on Lu Zizheng. Playfully, she said, “When I used to give you gifts, you never considered their value. Didn’t you say that no matter how valuable they were, they couldn’t outweigh my intentions?”

Lu Zizheng pursed her lips, looking at Lian Xuan. Finally, she couldn’t hold back the grievances and frustrations that had accumulated in her heart over the years. Why was it that all these years, she was the only one obsessing over and blaming herself while Lian Xuan didn’t show the slightest hint of self-reproach? Didn’t she want to offer even a small explanation? She had never known that Lian Xuan, with her exceptional memory, could be so forgetful.

She remained expressionless, speaking coldly, “You said it too, it’s in the past, isn’t it? People change.”

Lian Xuan couldn’t force a smile anymore; the smile froze on her lips.

Lu Zizheng stood up, her tone icy as she said, “Thank you for your birthday wishes, but I have to go now.”

Finally losing her composure, Lian Xuan hurriedly stood up as well and blurted out, “Wait, Zizheng, about what happened back then…” She was cut off as Lu Zizheng’s phone rang.

Lu Zizheng glanced at her before walking over to the window and answering the call.

She heard Lu Zizheng’s smiling voice asking, “I’m already by the window, what’s the matter?”

Then, both of them saw the massive screen on the opposite building go dark, only to suddenly light up again. On it was a photo of a girl with a ponytail wearing sportswear, running. It was Lu Zizheng. The billboard on the street displayed the words “Xiamen International Marathon.”

After a moment, the screen went dark once more, and lines of text started appearing: “Lu Zizheng, happy birthday. Life’s journey is long, and you’ve just completed a quarter of it. Don’t slack off, keep running with determination.”

Lu Zizheng widened her eyes, looking at the scene outside in astonishment. Her voice trembled as she urgently asked, “Where are you?”

After a brief moment, Lian Xuan heard Lu Zizheng hang up the phone and hastily walk towards the exit. As she walked, she said to her, “I’m sorry, Ms. Lian, something urgent came up. I have to leave now.”

She left in such haste and urgency that she didn’t have time to hear the words Lian Xuan wanted to express: “I’m sorry for what happened back then.”

Lian Xuan stood in place, watching Lu Zizheng’s hurried and joyous figure disappear. She couldn’t help but feel a pang of pain in her heart.

In her life, for the first time, she compromised with herself and decided to let go and move on. However, Lu Zizheng didn’t give her the opportunity.

She had known all along that life was fair, that sacrifices must be made to gain something else. But at this moment, why did she still feel so unwilling and filled with a sense of loss?