Star Wars: 30 Years Later The Real Story

Chapter 47 - Neither Light nor Darkness

Outer Rim - Bajic Sector - Vergesso asteroids

Rey was still inside her sea of meditation as she called the state she entered when she tried to connect with the Force. Luke had told them that each Force user had a personal and unique way to approach and experiment the Force. Finn had told her that his was like descending into a tunnel that expelled a powerful upstream wind that stopped him from going deeper while Luke had told her it was like floating into the space with galaxies all around him. The first time she entered her own place she could not help but feel the place was extremely beautiful and a sense of belonging took over her and for a time she just wanted to stay there for hours and hours. However, in this moment, she felt desperation and she only wanted to return.

- "You want power, don't you?"- said the voice that she knew very well since it was her own- "come to me and I will show you the full power of the Force... stop fighting!"

She had been dragged into the darkness she had found previously and now she only felt she was drowning while surrounded by cold and desperation.

- "Let me go!"- she pleaded but no sound was uttered and she felt energies abandoning her while feeling that she was being dissolved by the darkness around her.

- "You are weak and pathetic"- said her own voice in her ear and then multiple images started to ȧssault her mind.

The visions passed at an incredible seed but Rey saw them as if they were in slow motion. She saw her parents abandoning them in the hands of Unkar Plutt, the years of solitude in Jakku, the death of Broom, the abandonement of Finn in Maz Castle, her kidnapping in the hands of Kylo Ren, the fight against the dark lord and her subsequent defeat in the forest of the Starkiller base, all the times she had seen good men and women from the Republic and the Resistance die in front of her without being able to do anything about it. The flirting of Rose towards Finn every time they met and many other painful memories which digged deep into her heart.

- "Stop it!"- shouted Rey who felt a rising anger coming from her.

- "Make me!"- said the dark figure who seemed to be enjoying her suffering- "you're just a poor excuse of a warrior who needs to be protected by others. When will you stand up for yourself?"

Rey started to fight back even more and she noticed that the more she canalized her anger, the more strength she had and the easier it was to free herself.

- "Ahhhhhhhh!"- she finally let a roar of anger and managed to get out of the darkness which had been holding her back.

- "You see now?"- asked her dark version with a grin- "You are more powerful when you use your anger... why do you hold yourself when you could be the most powerful existance in the universe... I can help you if you just let me..."

The dark figure which had her same shape extended her arm but Rey felt a terrible sense of fear and rejection and started to float back to the surface. She tried to escape by turning back but immediately she felt the firm grab of a piercing coldness which stopped her attempt to escape.

- "Come... I can give you power..."- said the figure with her voice but for some reason she felt shivers for this. Could her voice be so cold and bloodthirsty?- "You can have an absolute power... just use your hatred..."

- "Give it to your anger"- the voice of the figure changed to one that was totally different and seemed a deep and archaic but for some reason it sounded familiar to her- "Only the dark side will lead you to absolute power HAHAHAHAHA!"

Rey used all her strength to free herself and she noticed she was screaming while squirming on the floor while fighting against someone who was next to her.

- "Rey! Rey! Calm down! It's me! Finn! Calm down!"- she heard Finn voice and she noticed he was next to her while placing his hand on her shoulder- "man you are sweating a lot... what happened?"

She felt dizzy and put the hands in front of her to support her and she noticed her breathing was accelerated and she was sweating profusely. She immediately remembered the vision of the couple who was planning to abandon someone. She could not see the faces of the two people but she knew who they were. They were the ones who abandoned her and the ones who sold her as if she was a mere rag who had no use. She also remembered all the visions of her own weakness. A blazing hatred started to raise in her heart and in her heart, she vowed to find them and make them pay...

- "Rey! Talk to me!"- said the voice of Finn who placed a hand on her shoulder and then Rey noticed what she was thinking and how terrible those emotions were for a Jedi.

For a moment she had been thinking in killing her own parents and get revenge on them by butchering. She felt ashamed and turned around giving her back to Finn.

- "I'm fine now..."- said Rey trying to control her emotions not wanting her friend look at her like this.

- "I wish that were true, Rey"- said Finn feeling the chaotic mix of emotioons in his friend- "I feel a lot of negative emotions in you... just like a blazing tornado ready to destroy everything on its way... I won't force you to tell me, but you know that I will listen if you need to talk."

Finn stood up and prepared to leave her alone but Rey did not want that and before he could go, she opened her mouth while still giving her back to the young man.

- "Can you just stay here with me?"- she asked with a feeble voice which showed the fear and confusion she was feeling.

- "I had a vision..."- she said with a trembling voice feeling that her emotions would take her over- "I saw them... my parents... I saw how they sold me and decided to abandon me..."

Saying it out loud made her emotions surge even more and her mind started to get clouded by intense negative emotions towards her parents. Finn moved cautiously and sat down crossing his legs behind her.

- "Do you still want to find them?"- asked Finn and the question caught Rey by surprise since now that she was sure she had been abandoned, she did not see the poit in finding them... except for...- "do you want to get revenge?"

Rey started to tremble even more. She did not know what she wanted... a part of her wanted to meet them and ask them personally what had happened and give them the chance to explain themselves, but the other part wanted to make them pay for all the yeas of suffering and solitude she had to bear. She knew it was not the Jedi way... hatred and revenge would only lead to the dark side... Luke had told them many times.

- "I don't know..."- said Rey after a while- "I don't know what I will do once I meet them... but I definitely want to find them... but after that... I don't know..."

- "Then it's fine..."- said Finn but he was immediately cut off by Rey who shouted a little.

- "No, it's not!"- she said elevating the voice more than she wanted- "these feelings are not correct.. I'm a Jedi apprentice... hatred and anger is not the Jedi way... these feelings are wrong! You know that as well!"

- "I know because I'm also angry and I also feel hatred!"- said Finn and Rey opened her eyes in shock and she finally turned a little to see the expression of his friend.

- "You... but..."- she said looking at Finn who looked directly at her eyes.

- "We are Jedi, Rey"- said Finn with a calm voice- "but we are also humans. Do you think I don't hate the First Order that killed my parents to kidnap me when I was just a child? Do you think I feel nothing when I see the injustice in this world?"

Rey thought about it and remembered the words of their Master Luke in one of their basic training when they had to listen to his lectures.

- "Love and hate exist in every creature"- he had said to them- "light and darkness are part of this world... and so, you will feel both from time to time. That is normal and unavoidable, otherwise you would be robots way undeveloped of even droids who can also express emotions. It's not wrong to feel, but it is wrong to let those feeling overwhelm you and cloud your judgement."

- "It's not feeling anger what makes you fall to the dark side, remember?"- said Finn repeating what Luke had told them- "every Jedi master has felt anger and hate in some moment of their lives but they did not fall..."

- "What makes you fall into the dark side..."- said Rey also repeating the words of her master- "is permitting those emotions take over you and guide your actions without control."

- "What was the reason of the fall of the Jedi order?"- has asked Luke in that moment- "they let their sense of justice and piousness to become pride that clouded their judgement and lower their guard which made them totally unprepared to fight the Sith. They were blinded by too much light."

He had taken a white disk while talking about the Jedi which he placed on the table. Then, he took a black disk and started to show it to them.

- "What made the Sith fall?"- continued Luke with the black disk- "they let the anger and their thirst for power to consume them and together with their inflated ego and their false sense of invincibility let the Rebel alliance destroy them. They got blinded by too much darkness."

He then took both disks and put them together creating a grey disk which then he passed to Rey and Finn.

- "What if the Jedi had studied the Dark side of the Force to understand their enemy?"- asked Luke giving time to both padawans to answer in their minds- "what if the Sith learned a little of humility and empathy from the Light side of the Force?"

- "Neither absolute Light nor absolute Darkness can guide safely through life"- said Finn taking Rey's hands and she felt her emotions subside- "but an equilibrium of both..."

- "Too much love will make you feeble and unprepared to face the evil of the universe"- said Rey accepting the hand of Finn while she saw him smile to her- "too much hate will cloud your reason and make you act like a beast, ignoring the goodness of the universe."

- "Both Light and Dark can blind you if they go out of control"- they both said and finally they smiled to each other.

- "How could I forget that?"- said Rey with a self mocking smile

- "It's normal to feel that, Rey"- said Finn touching her shoulder carefully- "but don't permit those emotions to control you."

- "Humm!"- she agreed while taking his hand into her and turning around- "thank you, Finn. I almost forget something very important."

- "I promised to find your parents, remember?"- he said to Rey- "once we do... I'll go with you and whatever you decide to do, I'll be there to support you or stop you."

- "You always are with me in the moments I need you"- said Rey smiling while her face acquire a red tone which made Finn get nervous.

- "You have been there for me too..." - said Finn smiling nervously- "but of course I wouldnt mind you paying for a meal once we finish this mission."

- "Ha! Isn't a gentleman duty to offer to pay?"- laughing while hitting him playfully on the shoulders.

- "You never change huh?"- said Finn happy that she was in a better mood

- "Are you calling me a pinch cheapskate?"- said Rey pretending to be angry.

- "No... absolutely no..."- he said looking to the side.

- "This is the captain"- said a voice after 30 minutes making both young people to jump in surprise- "we'll arrive to the destination in approximately 10 minutes."

- "Thank you"- said Rey releasing Finn's hold- "I feel much better now... I'm sorry for worrying you."

- "It's ok, Rey"- said Finn smiling warmly- "you have helped me a lot so I'm happy to be of help."

Rey smiled to Finn and later, they arrived to a planet which was not very populated but that was used as a stop for refueling and resupplying by the ships, so it was not suspicious for a transporter ship to land there. Rey and Finn put on cloaks that hid their faces and went to the place they had as reference and knocked.

- "Rey and Finn"- said the voice of Leia Organa who received both padawans with a hug after she opened the door- "I'm so glad you could make it here with no problems."

Rey and Finn had to hide their surprise to see the Supreme Chancillor of the New Republic in a place like this and dressing simple and plain clothes which made her look like anything except someone of her position. They both wondered what kind of mission required the same Leia Organa to go personally.

- "I know this was very surprising for you"- Leia said with an apologetic tone- "but this mission is very secret and we had to make sure no leaks would ocurr. For that reason you will escort me today and will not ask questions about the operation. Is that clear?"

- "Understood"- said both Rey and Finn knowing the importance of secrecy.

- "I appreciate your understanding"- said Leia with a smile while picking u some bags and walking to the door- "Let's go then"

As any planet of this kind, it was a place full of smugglers, thieves and other lowlives which made Rey and Finn extremely nervous. However, their training had shown results and managed to stay calm and focus. They were surprised to see that Leia walked in a very relaxed manner, as if this was just a walk in a fair. They entered a canteen and Leia talked to the bartender in a language they did not understand and then they sat down while drinking different types of liquour and snacks while talking about not important things. Thirty minutes had passed when someone placed a note on their table which seemed to be the bill. They paid and Leia got out from the establishment being followed by both padawans who were still on the dark about what they were doing there. They were stopped by two fgures but Leia raised her hand ordering Rey and Finn not to do anything.

- "Ghhhheessssty kloolektyp bujiokkkk"- said one of the figures with a cold voice.

- "They are my bodyguards"- said Leia passing a small bag to the person who did not take away its hood.

- "Muuuuukaaajsii"- said the figure and Leai followed it until a very dark place inside the town.

Rey and Finn had the handles of their lightsaber already in their hands and they were ready to act at the least show of danger. The figures entered a house and then they were guided through many walls and different tunnels. Rey had already lost her way and knew that it would be problematic to try and return by themselves. After an hour, they finally arrived to a big door which was protected by at least a dozen people of different races and sizes who looked at them in a very suspicious manner.

- "Aaafgorrjisk"- said the figure and Leia turned to them.

- "Wait here and guard"- said the supreme chancellor with a very serious tone. Finn and Rey thought it was dangerous that she went alone but they could only obey.

Leia followed the figures inside the door and as soon as they disappeared, they were surrounded by multiple people who looked very dangerous. They were more worried, however, sbout the ones they could not see. There was one in the shadows who was observing them while giving them a very deep level of murderous intent. Rey and Finn went to a wall which seemed deserted and they both used it to rest while showing no fear to any of the present people.

(...)

Meanwhile, Leia had been escorted by the two figures into a hall where she could find a table with snacks and cups. She saw at the other end of the table a female figure which she recognized very well.

- "Leia Organa"- said the woman with a strong and powerful voice- "it's been a while since you have personally come to visit me. Please take a seat."

- "I've been busy, Lady Phoenix"- said Leia showing a warm smile as if talking to a very old friend- "as you were too, since you did not pass over my home either."

- "My work is in the shadows, Chancellor"- said the woman with a stern tone which sent a clear message- "the Force dwells in both sides as your brother had already discovered but seems too stubborn to recognize."

- "Men tend to be obstinate, Lady Phoenix"-replied Leia with a sad tone as she remembered the most obstinate and stubborn of all- "however, I must say that training padawans has made him recover the passion of old days."

- "I have heard that, yeah"- said Phoenix with irony and frustration- "but I wish he had the backbone to come and chat with me a little. Alas, it seems it may not be..."

- "Give him, time"- said Leia with a renovated smile- "It's not cowardice but just shame."

- "Yeah I think so too"- replied Phoenix with a smirk on her face- "however, I suppose you re not here to talk about him"

- "Even though I'd love that were the case, I'm afraid that the reason is more pertinent to the war."- said Leia changing her tone to a more serious one.

- "The information I have is real then"- said Phoenix who did not seem surprised at all since her information network was vast and deep- "and in that case, I think you are a fool leia... it's obviously a trap."

- "Luke said the same"- replied Leia with an apologetic tone but her eyes showed and unwavering resolution.

- "So... you want me to personally act?"- asked Phoenix with a incredulous expression- "Aren't those padawans enough to do that?"

- "They are capable but I'm afraid this will require a more experienced person"- said Leia with pleading eyes- "

- "You ask me to reveal myself once more?"- said Phoenix with an angry tone- "after all we had to do? You know once I'm out once again, we will have less efectiveness and they will be wary."

- "I wouldn't ask if I had other option"- said Leia with pleading eyes- "and to be honest I think it's time you return and they fear you once again"

- "Even if I'd love for that to happen, I think it's better I still work in the shadows" said Phoenix with a sigh of surrender- "Alright! However, You and your brother will own me."

- "Of course"- replied Leia with a radiant smile- "I'll make sure Luke pay this favor"

- Oh, I'm sure he'll love that"- said Phoenix laughing while imagining Luke's face after hearing the news- "so when should we depart?"

- "Immediately if possible"- said Leia but she knew Phoenix would need time to prepare

- "I see"- said Phoenix touching her chin as she calculated some things- "could you give me an hour? Also, is it ok if I take someone with me?"

- "Of course"- said Leia knowing that anyone picked personally by her would only boost the chances of the mission- "I'll also deal with some things and I'll wait for you in this hangar."

- "I'll see you there, Leia"- said Phoenix smiling to her old friend as she walked to the door. However, before going out, Leria turned around and smiled once more.

- "Thank you for helping me, Mara"- said Leia letting the effect of her voice do its work.

- "Sigh* It's been a while someone call me that way"- said the woman known as Phoenix letting a sigh escape from her mouth.

- "It is your name, Mara Jade"- said Leia noticing the sadness in her friend- "even though I know it must be difficult to use."

- "After the destruction of the Academy and Luke's separation..."- Mara Jade said while sighing again- "that name only brings sad feelings."

- "I'm sorry if I caused you pain"- said Leia lowering her head.

- "I should get used to it"- said Mara while showing a sad smile- "if I'm going to work in the Light once again... see you later, Leia."

Leia nodded and got out while praying for those two to reconnect again and find the happiness that was taken from them.

- "See you later, my dear sister-in-law."

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