Sweet CEO's First Love

"Who is walking home right now? Quin, my medicine man who can heal anything, or is it my..." The cheerful, upbeat smooth voice of his best friend broke his brooding anger and unhappiness that boiled inside him like a great big ball of churning lava. Hot and unpredictable, but ready to melt the entire world in its path and cover it with a hardened layer. The kind you couldn't get through once it finished rolling down and covering everything in its tracks.

"It's the Tin Man," Quintin responded, despondently hoping that San would get the drift and buzz off. That is without having to directly confront him and tell him that he needed to get lost. That he wasn't in the mood for all of Santiago's pep right now was an understatement.

'He had just been proposed to in a text... A Text!'

"Hey, I love the Tin Man," Santiago said beaming as if unaware of the massive storm cloud he had just poked and that was about to break and rain down all of its terror, it had been saving up over the mass that was time.

"No, not me, my nickname is Tin Man, I mean, I am the Tin Man from the wizard of oz."

"Oh, that's cool, I love him, he is funny." Santiago responded. "I always thought about the fact that they had to paint that guy all shin.."

"I would be happy to be him right now. It must be handy to not have a heart, sometimes." Quintin stated darkly.

Santiago paused mid-sentence.

"Hey, don't say that, it's just one minor setback." he soothed immediately, wrapping his arms around Quintin.

Quintin turned to look over at Santiago.

"Shut up, San." He said flatly.

"Oh, come on Quin! It's Kaylen, Whatever! Seriously, anything he did or said before doesn't matter because you will forgive him. He is always making stupid mistakes. Let's be honest, whatever he did can't even be that bad, it's you, you always forgive him."

Quintin stopped walking and looked up at his friend, who was standing up straight, hands in his pockets, looking totally at ease and carefree in the world. A large happy smile on his face, all while he slouched over, ready to give up on the world.

"He proposed to me." Quintin grimaced.

"Oh my god, really! That's awesome, why are you so upset? That's what you have always been dream..." San started.

"In a text message. Kaylen asked in a text message, San." Quintin interrupted San partway through his excited raving.

"And not to marry me he proposed to me not to marry me."

"Wait? What? How does that even?" Santiago asked slowly, his brain breaking from the confusion.

"A fake proposal." Quintin stated sharply.

"Just for a short time. Kaylen only wants to be married for a short time, to cheat having his parents pick someone else out for him, another dude." Quintin elaborated flatly.

"Why?" San asked.

"He wants to get married to keep both of our parents off his back, all that bugging him so much about marriage, he just wants it to end. He needs the peace and quiet. You know, while he gets ready to finish his last few months of his doctorate and get his degree. You know, before he leaves for Africa for the mission and to get them off his back because of..." Quintin let his voice falter off not wanting to say the words that crushed him.

"Our moms and dads have been pushing him to find someone he can be with forever... A guy. And the only way they would stop..."

"Was with the person they originally wanted him with all along." San finished. 

Quintin nodded, feeling utterly pathetic. 

'A consolation prize... I became a means to an end. Just what is my friendship with you Kaylen? How could you even think this was okay? Don't you know this hurts?'

"You know they don't actually mean to push anything."

"But you know his moms, they have been secretly praying for this day to happen. The whole reason your parents became best friends was because they were banding together as the only gay couples back then at your private school."

"I hate it, I wish it had never happened."

"Awe come on man you don't mean that. Your friendship with Kaylen has meant everything to you guys."

"I hate that they wanted us both to be as much like them as we could be, and he just... They had hopped." Quintin closed his eyes and sighed.

'For the day when their son would come out and be openly and happily gay, except he never will guys.' Quintin looked at his phone as it buzzed in his hands. Kaylen was calling. He slammed the phone into his pocket with a vengeance and winced as the metal slammed into his thigh.

"Honestly, I think Kaylen just wants them to be happy before he leaves. So how can I even expect anything less from Kaylen He is always coming up with stupid half thought-through ideas." Quintin stated as if lying through his teeth about the real reason Kaylen was doing this would make him feel better.

Quintin's phone pinged.

He pulled it out of his pocket and opened it up.

Meet you at our spot tonight. We really should talk about this.

... 

The three dots bounced up and down as Kaylen wrote, and Quintin waited for the next message to appear. 

I know it's going to be awkward, but can you just hear me out? I don't want to hurt anyone, especially you. I hate when you are mad at me Quin. Can't you just hear me out? Please?

Anyway, I will be waiting near the oak tree, midnight. Just like always.

Quintin turned the phone around so that Santiago could read it. 

San nodded slowly.

"See, told you the dolt probably doesn't even know you're mad. Which by the way might I add, he would know if you just told him you are in love with him already."

"San... You know I can't." Quintin started.

"That's such an excuse." Santiago snapped, judiciously.

"You could tell him." He stared at him, a smidgen of his beautiful Hispanic accent flaring up as he became heated and passionate about the topic he had been so adamant about for the past five years.

"You could, Quin." He said softer, all that heat deflating out of him harmlessly.

"You are just afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of letting go of those sixteen years worth of loving him. Because saying it out loud would get you a real answer, and then your fantasies would fizzle and die out. Because... Reality would leave you no choice and instead just replace those fantasies of yours without your permission at all. And when you have held onto a dream that long... Letting it go, finding out the reality inside of it. Well, it's scary."

Quintin shoved his hands in his pocket then ran his thumb along the front of the screen of his phone. He stared up at the sky at the big bushy, fluffy white clouds, so filled with light, they bounced the setting pink and orange rays of the sun around as if they were playing with the light. The sky is bright and hopeful even in its last goodbye.

'Telling you how I feel? Can I really do that? I am not brave.'

'Not even close.'

Not when I already know what's in both of our hearts.

Not when I know they don't match.