Sweet CEO's First Love

Quintin walked up the hill his entire stomach churning with annoyance, hurt, and pain. Heart wrenching pain.

'You didn't have to go, you didn't have to say yes. Stop walking up the hill.' Quintin let out a little sigh into the cold spring air. A small shiver running up his skin under his long oversized blue knit sweater. A bit of him regretted not putting on another long sleeved shirt underneath it as his tank under shirt was doing nothing to stop the air through the holes.

"Hey, Quin."

Quintin looked up at the sound of his name from Kaylen. Kaylen stared into his eyes from across the five foot distance, their tree that marked their memories with its very rings and hallow laughter that echoed in his own memory. Quintin didn't even know what he was thinking when he said yes to coming here. He should have known this place would be to emotionally charged for him.

That the very branches swaying would remind him of all the fond moments they had together over the course of the past sixteen years.

"Kay." Quin froze realizing he was calling Kaylen by his affectionate pet name for him.

'Don't give in so easily, don't let your heart murmur just from one look from him.' He reminded himself.

... I'm here now." He added quickly changing the pet name into the most mundane of greetings. It almost gutted him to make the change. But he knew that feeling he felt right now was probably not even something Kaylen was even thinking about. Heck he hadn't thought about how hard it would be to stand in front of all their memories together after such a deep wound.

"Yeah," He paused as if he was waiting for Quin to fill the silence with his chattering as he always would. To lead or steer the conversation in the way that he did, just naturally making the space between them comfortable.

'Sorry Kaylen, I can't help you right now.'

"I, um... Quin can't we just try to be engaged?"

"What?"

'Of all things he had thought Kaylen had called him to say he didn't expect that to be the first thing.'

" Well, I mean it's what everyone around us wants. They have always thought we were together, always assumed, or if they knew we weren't then they were always trying to get us together. It's literally giving the people what they want. I figured you wouldn't have a problem with it since we have been friends forever. I mean you know where I am coming from, in a few months I wouldn't even be here so it won;'t even take up that much of your time. By then I'll already be gone with Emily in Africa. So I won't even be inconveniencing you to lie to Benjamin and Nicolas that long. I know you hate lying, I promise..."

"Just stop Kaylen!" Quin took two deep breaths, his body rattled with them as he tried to get his hurt and anger under control.

"This is why you called me here?"

"This... Kaylen." His voice broke as he tried to remain calm.

"Quin."

"Do you even care how all of this makes me feel?" Quintin pulled back a sob that stuck in his throat and he tried to swallow past it in vein. He balled his hands up the tension causing his fingers to curl uncontrollably. The words he had never had the courage to say, even after all these years dangled off the tip of his tongue like nausea inducing pills he couldn't take.

'I have to say something this time, or he won't understand what he has done, he won't understand how much this hurts me. How it already hurts me so much. Quintin swalled hard, and shoved his hands in his sleeves so that no one could see his fingernails dig into his skin. Not that anyone was looking, or could even see.. since it was dark, and he was alone, it was just him and Kaylen.

Just us two.

Like always.

Like always.

"Do you even know my feelings at all. Kaylen I..."

"Stop..."

Quintin froze mid-sentence. The cold nipped at his nose and the silence was only permeated by the sound of his sniffle followed by Kaylen's.

"Don't say it." He said softly into the stillness.

"What?"

"Don't, Okay... I already know. If you say it aloud you will only make things more awkward for the both of us. I am leaving soon, can't we just keep things like this."

Quintin dragged his mouth shut and tried to swallow the air he had taken with it. Tried with all his might to make his lungs which had halted, to keep going, and tried to remind himself to blink. All of time that stood still seemed to crash together the moment he blinked and that first tear fell.

His insides churned and he went between feeling like he couldn't catch his breath and feeling like he was about to vomit. The sloshing of his stomach reminded him of the four burritos he had eaten far to close to this moment and the cold air chilled him and made him swear he was smelling the inside of a freezer.

"You knew..." His voice broke before he could continue.

Kaylen nodded slowly. "I just figured what was the point in saying anything. I love you like my own family. I can't imagine my life without you. I can't imagine not being able to call and just talk. That's what I mean, literally everyone expected this. So why can't we just give them what they want. What you want. I know its only a few months, but its what you want. A happy life with me, as a couple. I can't give you forever I love Emily. But this can give you something to hold onto when I am gone."

Anger won out in that moment.

"Shut up." Quintin snapped then turned and started to walk back down the hill without another word. Tears spilled down his face and he didn't even do anything to stop it.

"Oh come on Tin, Tin don't be dumb about this. This is exactly what you want..."

"Fuck off."

"Excuse me?"

Quintin turned halting so fast that Kaylen who had been trailing behind him only by a bit trying to catch up to Quin's faster pace had no choice but to stumble a little and almost wipe out.

"No, you don't get to. You don't' get to do this to me Kaylen."

"You don't get to do this to me ever, you are selfish Kaylen. A selfish egotistical asshole, you thought you would give me a few pity months, a few fake dates, filled with lies.

"Leave me alone Kaylen you can go to hell and take your proposal with you. Don't call me, don't see me, and don't say goodbye when you leave. If you try to say or do anything to me before you are gone... Well, I promise I won't give you the chance."

"Goodbye."

Quintin swiveled and ran as fast as he could away from Kaylen letting the wind take his tears and his humiliation and leave them behind him.

Along with his heart.

He thought Kaylen would call after him, would follow, but the silence was all that followed his sobs and the pounding of his shoes on the pavement.