Tales From the Terran Republic

“So what do we do now?” A squat scaly councilor asked.

Karashel pulled up the Illuxit’s file.

“Your decisions are, of course, your own,” she replied from the other side of her desk. “You have successfully broken those outrageous supply agreements, which is huge. However, you are still bound by a number of agreements with your oppressor. What the party is recommending is that you use your leverage as the source of raw materials for their economy to force them to terminate any and all agreements with your people in exchange for a short-term agreement that gives them access to your mining output so they can meet their own agreements and maintain their economy.”

Karashel smiled.

“From the simulations, we have run on your behalf,” she bubble purred, “It is highly likely you could force some exceedingly good terms. You could either elevate your position within the trade bloc you currently inhabit… or you could free yourself from it, which is what we would prefer.”

“So we should free ourselves?”

“You should do whatever is best for your people, Ilko,” Karashel replied, “What we want is what we want, not what is necessarily best for you. That being said, we can provide incentives for playing ball with us, and you can get in on the ground floor of what will be, in time, the dominant economic and political force in the Federation.”

She slid a tablet over to the other councilor.

“Part of the benefits of joining the Party will be access to our team of legal experts who are very skilled in the arts of negotiation who will represent you, not us. You may find them useful in breaking free of your oppressors.”

“How long do I have to remain in the party?” Ilko replied, narrowing his huge bulbous eyes suspiciously.

“We aren’t colonialist scum, Ilko,” Karashel replied, “We aren’t setting up just another empire here. We want partners, not slaves. There is no commitment. In fact, if you want to ‘use us,’ take advantage of our legal resources and then jump ship, that’s fine with us.”

“Why?”

“Because it breaks yet another chain holding down yet another people… and further weakens your oppressors, something that we might be able to use later.”

Karashel squinched her eyes pleasantly.

“And we are betting that once you see what we are about,” she chirped, “you will want to hang around! We’re fun!”

Ilko took the tablet.

“Forgive me,” he chuckled, “But I’m going to take this and carefully review it before signing.”

Karashel laughed. “What?” she bubble chuckled, “You don’t trust us?”

“In one word,” Ilko replied with a wide toothy smile, “No.”

Karashel burst out into giggles.

“And that’s why we want you!” she exclaimed, “You’re smart!”

“Let me through, you morons!” an angry voice screeched.

“… And right on schedule...” Karashel sighed.

“Who is that?”

The door flew open, revealing an enraged Xx.

“You!” Caw shouted, pointing at Counselor Ilko, “Out!”

Ilko looked over at Karashel uncertainly.

“Your species has very sensitive hearing,” Karashel chuckled, “You probably don’t want to be in the room in about ten seconds… And you have some documents to ‘carefully review’ anyhow.”

“Yes,” Ilko said, puffing out his chest and looking directly at Caw, something he wouldn’t have dared to do before, “Our business is concluded, for now, councilor. We will speak again very soon.”

“I hope so,” Karashel said, “Drop by the park sometime, regardless if you join up! It’s always a good time!”

“Will do,” Ilko said as Caw’s feathers and crest extended to their full height. He left Karashel’s office in a shambling lope.

” You!” Caw hissed angrily once Ilko shut the door behind him.

“Me!” Karashel said brightly.

***

Charlotte bustled happily behind the coffee counter serving her customers, over half of which were employees, and the majority of others being locals who were “just there for the coffee”.

She growled happily, causing some people to jump.

“That just means she’s happy!” one of the girls exclaimed.

Charlotte directed her scanner towards one of several pots of water standing behind her.

She took one and carefully poured it over a classic basket filter filled with ground coffee, holding her scanner with one of her free limbs.

“Temperature: 1095.45 Xme, Flow rate: 16 Pee per Dee...” she muttered as she scribbled strange runes with yet another limb on a strange-looking tablet sitting on the floor. “Particulate size, grind setting ‘3’ on coffee grinder ‘B’...”

“She writes with her butt!” Neeph exclaimed with delight.

“Actually,” Charlotte buzzed with amusement, “I’m writing with one of what you would call my labia.”

“Awesome!” Neeph howled as the counter burst out with laughter.

Charlotte suppressed a “grin” (they weren’t ready for one of those just yet).

They were laughing!… And it was quite likely the right sort of laughter!

“What are you writing?” Neeph asked as she peered over the counter at Charlotte’s “bits”.

“I’m conducting a bit of casual research on the effects of solvent temperature and mass flow rate on the caffeine extraction yield and overall palatability of the resultant fluid known as ‘coffee’.”

“All that for coffee?”

“Oh yes!” Charlotte enthused, “This is quite a challenging product. While caffeine is the active substance and extraction thereof is a priority, the overall palatability is also nearly equally as important and depends on a great number of other compounds! From general customer feedback, I hope to be able to correlate which of these other compounds are desirable and which ones are not. With that information, my goal is to then be able to separate the desired compounds from the undesired ones, making a superior product tailored for the species consuming it!”

“Wow!” Neeph exclaimed.

Charlotte carefully analyzed the coffee as if she was in a lab, her “butt” scribbling furiously.

She extracted a small sample using a tiny ladle made of what appeared to be a Nope spine (because it was).

She took a sip and scribbled more.

“Jesus, Charlotte,” a human laughed, “I just wanted a fucking cup of coffee, not a goddamn lab experiment! Pour it already!”

Charlotte issued a sound designed to be a “laugh” and poured the human a cup.

“So?” Charlotte asked, intentionally drawing entirely too close to the man, who she noted was already not flinching.

Her butt scribbled a quick note.

“… Not bad!” he replied.

“Was it better or worse than the last cup you received?”

“Fuck, I don’t know!” the man laughed, “That was yesterday.”

Charlotte sighed with frustration and butt scribbled a line. Humans were vexing like that. It was probably because they killed all of the flavors of their food by cooking it. She shouldn’t expect creatures, no matter how intelligent, who boil all of their food into slop (no, seriously! They actually boil some of it!) to have anything close to a palate.

“… It’s… good?” the human added. “I mean, I like it. Does that help?”

“Not in the slightest!” Charlotte replied, accidentally letting out a real chuckle that made the customers twitch. “But thank you just the same!”

“They’re customers, not lab rats!” Sam called out as he arrived with a large bag of coffee beans slung over his shoulder.

“Customers, lab rats...” Charlotte replied as she started the espresso machine, “I fail to see the difference.”

“Ha!” the human customer laughed as he enjoyed his coffee.

“Try this!” Charlotte exclaimed as she poured Sam a small cup.

“Not another one!” Sam moaned. “My teeth are rattling already!”

“You want me to get better, don’t you?”

Sam sighed as he took the cup and sipped it.

“It tastes exactly like the last one… and the one before that!” he replied.

Charlotte’s ass took yet more notes.

***

“So, who are you supposed to be?” Caw hissed angrily, “Lenin, Stalin?…. Hitler?”

“I am exactly who I am supposed to be,” Karashel replied,” Karashel, of the Baleel. Remember the name.”

“Oh, I won’t forget it… ever!” Caw exclaimed, “Do you have any idea what you have done?”

“Protected my people,” Karashel replied.

“By committing treason and murder?”

“I see you have been talking with Councilor Veeka,” Karashel smirked. “Very excitable, isn’t she?”

“So you don’t deny it?!?”

“What I am not doing,” Karashel replied, “Is dignifying it with a reply. She is just another Colonialist who feels threatened by something that is, quite honestly, none of her business.”

Karashel smirked.

“And I have no idea why she is so concerned,” Karashel added, “Her people have colonized and domesticated their subjects so thoroughly that they actually believe that Veeka’s people are their friends if you can believe it. Her little empire is under no threat from us.”

“Did you make a deal with the Forsaken?” Caw demanded.

“Caw,” Karashel replied with a sigh, “What is a stupid question, the Xxian answer, please?”

One that only has one answer... Caw thought with a scowl.

“According to you,” Karashel smiled, “I am under no obligation to waste my breath answering a stupid question.”

And betrays nothing no matter how good the concealed scanner I have is, Caw thought.

Karashel glanced at her screen and smiled. Caw was wearing a wire. Disappointing but not unexpected.

“You know, Caw,” Karashel smiled, “We Baleel might be stupid, but even we can buy sensors. So you are a flunky for the Judiciary now?”

“I am NOT a—“

“You are wearing a Federation micro transmitter of the type usually used by law enforcement when they are trying to be sneaky,” Karashel replied.

How does she know that?!? Caw thought in alarm. These things were supposed to be undetectable!

“If this was for your personal edification or a matter of interest for the Xx,” she continued, “Then you would be using Xxian hardware, not substandard Federation garbage, not that it would matter. My sensors are imperial, the very best money can buy, the ones they designed to fight the Terrans.”

Karashel undulated from behind her desk.

“Good thing for you I’m not some murderous monster,” Karashel sighed, “Just a very disappointed and hurt Baleel. How could you?”

“You have to be stopped, Karashel.”

“Oh, I don’t mean that,” Karashel chuckled, “I mean, how could you underestimate me so badly. A Federation wire?… Seriously?”

She looked up at him with big, moist eyes.

“Dude...” she shook her anterior end, “dude… That’s just… sloppy.”

Caw just stood there, frozen in place. She had done it again! She was right. She would have anticipated this.

What else had she anticipated?

“So the mighty Xx,” Karashel snorted, “are now in league with the Federation, after all, just another colonial power more interested in the status quo than the actual welfare of anyone other than themselves.”

“That is NOT true!” Caw screeched.

“Isn’t it?” Karashel asked. “Why else would you come running when the Federation blew their favorite dog whistle? You are no different than the Kaarst.”

“How dare you?!?” Caw screeched. “That’s fine talk coming from a fucking communist!!! Have you learned nothing?!? You are a threat to billions of lives, entire systems!!! I’ve reviewed your ‘contract’! ‘By any means necessary’?!? Are you fucking kidding me?!? After everything I tried to teach you?!? Of course, the Federation is concerned, and of course, they reached out to me! Karashel, you and this ‘party’ of yours are a threat to the entire Federation!”

“Because we espouse communalism, not communism, by the way, and embrace the goal of achieving post scarcity?”

“That’s not what you are, and you fucking know it!!!” Caw squawked, jumping up and down. “You are following in the footsteps of Stalin and Hitler, and billions will die!”

“I honestly fail to see how the Federation would be concerned with the lives and welfare of a few systems.”

“Of course they are!!!” Caw shouted, “And it’s more than just a few systems, and you know it! Every day more fools flock to you, and the poison you know you are spreading!”

Karashel smiled. She had him. She had them all. Good old Caw. She could always count on him.

“Thank you, Caw,” she said with a smile.

“For what?”

“For demonstrating that the Federation’s real interest in me and their joke of an investigation is motivated primarily by ideology, not any real criminal suspicions.”

“What?”

“Free to determine one’s own path,” Karashel said with that same soulless smile, “It’s in the Federation charter, one of the only things in it of any real value. That and the statement that the Federation will in no way obstruct a member in the development of their civilization as they define it. It’s in the hygienic wipe of a charter, and it is binding.”

Caw stood there, stunned.

“I already have recorded statements by the chief counsel condemning our ideology clearly linked to his statements that he will stop us, and now even the ‘enlightened’ Xx are doing the same to us, solely because they do not like the particular path we are charting.”

Karashel advanced upon him.

“This investigation is dead,” she smiled, “And both the Judiciary and its chief counsel will be hit with lawsuits before the end of the business day, as well as Veeka and anyone else in collusion with them. This is a violation of one of the core principles of the Federation and a direct attack upon our sovereignty as a species. With this, we can subpoena any and all documents and correspondence, public and private, concerning this issue. I suspect the discovery process will be most enlightening… and very public.”

Karashel bubble giggled.

“And to think our new problem is collecting the credits fast enough!” she laughed. “Our experts have been examining the issue, and do you know that this violation of the founding charter is sufficient for us to legally withdraw from the Federation? Not that we are planning on doing that at the moment, of course...”

Karashel oozed up to him, rising to almost look him in the eye.

“We aren’t big enough yet,” she whispered,” But we will be...”

Caw looked at her in horror. What the hell was she?

“You won’t succeed,” Caw said quietly, “We will stop you… I will stop you...”

“You will try,” Karashel replied, “But… What are you stopping, exactly? Not once have you asked me what it is that I am actually trying to achieve, not once. You just jumped to some twisted conclusion that I am some sort of monster and then lifted your tail feathers for the fucking Federation!… Go home, Caw. Go home and think about what you just did. As of now, neither the Xx nor you are included in any suits or complaints. Please keep it that way, for me, please.”

“Our...” Caw said in a strangled voice, “And... and all agreements between the Baleel and us are done!” he gasped, “We will NOT assist you in becoming whatever it is that you are becoming!”

“And you still haven’t even attempted to determine what that is,” Karashel replied, “So much for your devotion to post scarcity.”

“You aren’t seeking post scarcity!” Caw screeched.

“Caw… sweetie bean…” Karashel giggled, “We already have it! No Baleel is going to want for anything ever again!”

She “rapidly” (for a Baleel) spun in a circle, “You want to ‘name me’ by a (scoff) human name?”

She undulated up to him.

“Then get it right,” she bubble hissed, “I’m not Hitler. I’m not Stalin...”

She threw her head back.

“I’m fucking King Leopold, baby!!!” she yelled, “I’m the motherfucking builder king! I am going to take and take and take and fucking… take!… And with it, I am going to build a fucking Baleean paradise!”

She laughed.

“We don’t have to ‘develop’ post scarcity!” she giggled, “We can fucking take it!”

“You...” Caw gasped… “You monster!”

“The committee and the party?” she replied, “They are going to build the same, and we will be the shining examples of what can be done… and people… they do love a winner! Baleean post scarcity will be the dream, a dream that I can sell! What we will achieve with or without you will work. There are thousands of people, and dozens of AI’s already ironing out the details! We will develop absolute self-sufficiency, and then we will give it to anyone who wants it!”

She smiled evilly.

“And on that day,” she purred, “The Federation dies. Nobody will have to sign a trade agreement because nobody will need them. We will issue unlimited licenses and unlocked capital equipment and technology. The technology will be absolutely free, and any equipment or ships will be sold free and clear, not leased or licensed. We won’t care about the profits because we won’t need them!”

“And what about the people, the lives you destroy in the process?” Caw demanded.

“You mean the people and the lives that tried to drive us into management?” Karashel snickered, “Those lives? The ones that were about to enslave our entire race?”

Caw flinched as he looked into Karashel’s black, empty eyes.

“We were enslaved once before, you know,” she smiled, “It was so long ago that the details have been lost to history and are only myths and legends that some of us still worship. You fancy yourself a historian. Did you ever bother to spend even an hour studying my race, or were we beneath your concern?”

Caw just looked at her.

“I see I asked a stupid question, didn’t I?” Karashel laughed. “Look it up sometime. You will see exactly how we handled our last oppressors. Fortunately for the Gvorta and the rest, not every member of the committee is Baleean, and even more fortunately, I am not a monster. They will be just fine, Caw. In a few years, you will realize how foolishly alarmist you are being right now. I am not going to kill billions of people out of greed or a desire for revenge. I’m not a human… or an Xx since you seem to only see that as the only option.”

Caw hissed.

“I swear on the blood of my race I will stop you! We will stop you!”

“Jellybean,” Karashel laughed, “You can all stop me right now. You don’t need to prove treason and murder or some other bullshit backstabbing maneuver. All they have to do is let go, just a little. They just have to toss out the contract and not even all of it. They actually don’t even need to toss any of it out. Just a few simple regulations and limits, and they can dump a whole bucketful of salt right on my head. You want to stop me? Go into the Parliamentary chamber and get the ball rolling that says that a decillion credits is just plain stupid by starting legislation that limits shit like that. Have a law passed that invalidates just a few clauses, and the ‘Baleean Contract’ unravels, and we have to go back to being simple peasant farmers overnight.”

Karashel giggled

“Go ahead,” she snorted, “Give it a try. Did I ever tell you about grabbit fishing back home? Grabbits are this little crab that lives in brackish water, and they are delicious. They are so easy to catch, too! You just tie a string to a bit of bait and toss it where you think grabbits might be. They run to the bait and start stuffing their little crabby faces. Then, a little while later, you pull up the bait.”

Karashel chuckled.

“The grabbits can’t stand the thought of losing their prize, so they latch on and refuse to let go, even as you pull the bait out of the water. At any time, the grabbit can escape. It just has to let go… but it doesn’t. It just grips tighter even as you pull it out of the water. The funny thing is that even as you are putting the grabbit into your mouth, their claws are still reaching toward the bait that doomed them. Do you see where I’m going here? Hopefully, that’s a stupid question too.”

Karashel smiled a bit sadly.

“We pose no inherent threat to the Federation,” she said, “They just have to let go a little bit. You want to stop us, Caw? Get them to let go. If they do that, the committee and the party turn into just another lunch club overnight.”

Caw bowed his head. She was right. About everything, including him not bothering to ask her a single thing about what she really has planned. And now he had declared himself a foe and lost any chance to find out.

“There is another way to stop us, Caw,” she said with an eye squinch. “You can elevate another race to post scarcity before we pull it off. Do that, and the dream I will sell becomes your reality, and everyone, even us, will fall in line.”

“Nobody is interested in ‘true post scarcity’,” Caw replied, his crest deflating, “not even you, it seems.”

“Bullshit,” Karashel smiled. “Want to make one of those billion credit bets? I can personally cover it. I can fill your office and have a line down the fucking hall right now, and many of them can now free themselves of the agreements that made it impossible before… If you are actually interested in that instead of smug self-superiority.”

She paused, and her eyes lit up.

“In fact,” she said as she made a realization, “I know a perfect candidate! They are technologically competent and completely free of any obligations save to the Baleel, and we will not only ‘release’ them but continue to support them during their development. Why didn’t I think of this before now! Shit, Caw! You want to do this? I’ll make it happen! No tricks. No bullshit. I am serious about post scarcity, and I’m willing to put my money where my mouth is, unlike yourself.”

She excitedly undulated over to her desk.

“What do you say?” Karashel asked, her eyes shining. “Are you serious about showing a race who actually is what you thought we were the way, or are you a complete and total piece of shit?”

Caw blinked, a bit overwhelmed.

“I… I would like to meet them,” he said after a few moments. “If they are what you say they are, we would like very much to start that conversation.”

“I was hoping you would say that!” Karashel beamed.

She fiddled with her touchscreen for a few moments.

“Yes, Chairman?” a nervous voice yelped, causing Caw to bristle.

“Una,” Karashel bubblepurred. “You really want to come to my office immediately. I have the deal of the fucking millennia lined up for you and your people!”

“Yes, Chairman!” Una replied and hung up.

“You’ll like Una!” Karashel exclaimed happily, “She’s a lovely person and entirely too ‘good’ to be part of the party. Her people are too. Do your homework and look up the Javv. Right now, the only trade agreements they have are with us, and I will happily terminate all agreements with no penalty save for their food which we will honor at the current rates indefinitely. It’s not the ‘Baleean Contract,’ by the way. It’s quite the ‘inside deal’ for a fellow party member, which they do not have to remain. You can eliminate one of my more important party members AND put yourself in direct competition with us, the best way to actually ‘stop’ any ‘evil plans’ that I have.”

Karashel wiggled her tendrils happily!

“I’m so excited by this!” she giggled with absolute and pure honesty.

***

At the Drop of Oil, the bustle of the day had ebbed, and the bustle of the evening was yet to start.

Charlotte had finished cleaning up and preparing the coffee bar for the evening and was looking forward to Shareena, their freelance bartender, to arrive with her mobile, self-contained bar.

The concept of food trucks and other mobile vendors intrigued Charlotte to no end.

She was also eager to learn mixology and hoped that Shareena would let her help out.

The Nope could metabolize alcohol but were a bit too good at it. Its intoxicant effects were minimal at best. They did have alcoholic beverages and substances, but the alcohol was just part of the fermentation process they used and was not the primary focus of the process aside from flavor. They also had distilled spirits, but these were utilitarian and were only used as solvents, fuel, and the like. You could get a mild “buzz” off of them if you drank enough, but only underclassmen did stupid stuff like that.

Having a free moment, she broke out a Terran tablet and gingerly turned it on, pulling up a calculus tutorial.

Sipping a cup of coffee (prepared her way), she started reviewing it.

She grumbled as she did so. In order to pass “The Test” she had to show her work (as well as she should!).

That meant doing it ‘their way’ (or the Imperial way)…

And she was not a fan. She tried to remain “open jawed” about the whole thing reminding herself that she was set in her ways and resistant to new ideas. Perhaps even something new could be gained from their methods…

But she really doubted it. By the hunt, this was terrible! It was like eating a grhurg by shoving it up your rectum…

Which, according to her “research”, was totally a thing humans allegedly did! (although none of her new friends had a first-hand account… thank the blood gods…)

Her quaternary eyes watched Neeph scurry up.

Neeph seemed to like her far more than the others. She said that she looked “cool.” But, then again, Neeph was a pretty bizarre-looking individual herself, kind of like a furry millipede with arms for antennae.

How she actually ‘plied her trade’ was as of yet unknown. Charlotte hadn’t yet developed the nerve to ask.

“Whatcha doin’?” Neeph asked, crawling partway onto the bar as was her habit and peering down at Charlotte’s tablet.

“Reviewing some basic math,” Charlotte replied. “I’m trying to wrap my mouth around the Terran way of doing it so I can take the test.”

Neeph recoiled as if struck.

“I tried taking the test...” she said sadly. “It was awful!”

Charlotte buzzed sympathetically. It was perhaps still a bit early to form any firm conclusions, but the educational standards for some species, especially those from the Federation, seemed rather appalling.

“I hear it can be rather comprehensive,” Charlotte replied. “But at least the mathematics doesn’t get too much more advanced than this. I would lose my spines if I had to do everything their way. It’s as ugly as they are!”

“I know, right?” Neeph giggled, “I try not to say anything, but boy are they funny looking!… Nice, though... most of them...”

Neeph looked down at the tablet.

“That’s math?!?” she exclaimed in horror.

“The Terrans seem to think so,” Charlotte replied derisively. “I mean, it’s not wrong, not by any means, but… By the dripping claw…”

“I’m pretty good at math!” Neeph replied, “I know my multiplication tables all the way to ten!… but…”

She looked downcast.

“That wasn’t enough. They asked things I had never even heard of before, and suddenly there were these letters everywhere, and they told me to find the ‘X’… and I was like ‘it’s right there!’...”

Charlotte giggled. That was a favorite joke among early students.

Neeph looked hurt.

“Oh no!” Charlotte exclaimed, almost reaching for Neeph, “I wasn’t laughing at you! That’s just a favorite joke among students where I come from! It reminded me of home and made me happy!”

“The Terrans laughed at me too, but it wasn’t nice laughing.”

“We have a saying where I come from,” Charlotte said firmly, “‘If the only thing you can be proud of is your education, return to your books.’ It means that if you find that sort of ‘superiority’ solely because you know something that someone else does not, you have nothing else to be proud of… Did they not offer to show you how to actually find that ‘X’?”

Neeph shook her head.

Charlotte gasped in outrage.

“Did they not point you towards a school or educational resource?”

“No,” Neeph replied. “They just said that I was done. When I asked if I passed...”

Neeph made a distressed little noise and then jumped a full meter and a half into the air at the horrifying howl Charlotte belted out.

“Outrageous!” she yelled, “Unacceptable! Uncouth! Vile! Miserable! Loathsome!” she continued.

“I’m sorry!” Neeph cried as she fled.

Unable to contain herself, Charlotte sprung over twelve meters, landing in front of Neeph.

“No!” Charlotte yelled, “Not you! You did everything right!” she continued as Neeph froze in her tracks. “The humans! They are the awful ones! I can’t believe they would do that to you… to anyone… When someone wanders in from the wild… facing the hardships of that journey… and… and… stumbles out of the darkness into the light… You welcome them!… If they seek knowledge and kinship of their kind… You… You… They laughed at you!!! They laughed at your blameless ignorance!!! A lost soul thrown out of the light... by conceit!!!”

Charlotte, very gently, reached out and laid a leg on Neeph.

“A great disservice was done to you, Neeph… I suspect to all of you...”

She looked at Neeph.

“Do you want to know how to find that ‘X’?”

Neeph nodded.

“Then you shall,” Charlotte said, her tiny but very acute eyes aflame.

Charlotte drew herself to her full, terrifying height.

“You, who has wandered alone in darkness, who has strove and fought, lifetime after lifetime… You who has followed our trail and emerged into the light… Do you have a name?”

“You know my name,” Neeph replied, “It’s Neeph!”

“What is your real name?”

“Xkk’&neeph*-Kxx#@t...” Neeph squeaked.

“Do you seek knowledge and fellowship? Do you forsake your ignorance and your savagery and embrace the light of scholarship, fraternity, and civilization?”

“Does that mean I want to be smart like you?”

“It does,” Charlotte whispered with a gentle smile that would send many to therapy.

“Yes!”

“Then we, the University of the Ice Wall, Fellowship of the Pinnacle Star, the Northward Bastion, and The Sorority of the Frost Huntress, welcome you, Neeph. You can share our springs, join our hunts, and feast upon our knowledge. We welcome you, sister. May your kills be many, and may the light we give you shine upon those who follow your trail as you follow ours.”

“Do I have to kill anybody?”

“No, dear,” Charlotte giggled, “It’s just tradition. You don’t have to kill anything you don’t want to.”

“Oh good!”

“(ahem)… Young sister, survivor, victor, awaken and join us! Join the light. Join the Fellowship. You shall never wander alone again!… And come with me, my dear little sister… Let’s go hunt down and murder that ‘X’… And their flaccid ‘test’… and wipe the smug superiority right off these damn Terran’s faces! I am here to lay a trail, and a trail I shall lay...”

She grinned an actual grin causing Neeph to squeak in a mixture of fear and awe.

“Welcome to the swarm!”