Tears in Heaven

At present, it was still very difficult to reach the hardest-hit areas. Most of the roads had not been cleared after landslides. Many rescue forces had to enter of foot through the mountains.

“It’s raining again. This weather is so bad.” The editor said, “When it rains, it’s easy to collapse and mudslides, and it’s worse.”

Unable to find a car, the editor helped to think of a lot of methods. The sky was getting dark. Even if she found a car, it would be very unsafe. She could only stay in Chengdu. Du Xiaosu called Lao Mo to briefly explain the situation. Lao Mo was very tolerant and comforted her: “It doesn’t matter, I am thinking of a solution tomorrow. Although news is important, safety is more important.”

She brought her laptop and found that the hotel broadband was unblocked, so she checked the geographical locations of the hardest-hit areas on the Internet, and a very brief report sent back by reporters who had ventured into the disaster area with the rescue forces. She felt that the more she read, the more shocking it was. The number of deaths continued to rise. Seeing the pictures made her stomach extremely uncomfortable. Then she remembered that she had forgotten to eat dinner, but it was too late, and she didn’t want to eat anything. Thus, she eventually decided to watch her computer and force herself to sleep.

It was continuing to rain outside. She dazedly fell asleep. She had a lot of dreams, but they were all broken fragments, fuzzy and blurred. She would wake up and fall asleep, fall asleep and then wake up. Everytime she awoke, she would be soaked in cold sweat. Maybe it was because of the change of environment, but she was really not sleeping well. Finally, she was suddenly awakened by the strong shaking: aftershocks!

It was really an aftershock! The window was rattling, and from the dim sleeping light, you could see that the water glass on the table was violently shaking. Before she could react, the lights in the residential building outside were all on, the hotel’s fire alarm sounded sharply, and the attendants in the corridor were already yelling: “Aftershocks are here! Quick leave!”

Many guests ran downstairs in a panic in their pajamas. Du Xiaosu still remembered to bring her camera and laptop. In the early hours of the morning, hundreds of people came out onto the streets, and all the people from nearby residential buildings also came down, bringing their families with them. Everyone was in shock. Standing on the street, there were children crying and others cursing. Only then did her heart jump wildly, beating hurriedly and fast. She thought, maybe she was frightened.

She stood under the hotel until about three o’clock in the morning. The earth was silent, as if it was just that it had stretched inadvertently in its sleep. Only when you are at the scene could you realize how weak and powerless people were in front of nature. The people on the road gradually dispersed. The hotel attendants also came to persuade the guests to go back to sleep. Du Xiaosu originally had a fearless temperament and moreover had to enter the hardest hit area. Since she sooner or later had to adapt to this situation, she was the first to run back to her room and fall asleep.

It was only in the morning that she learned that the aftershock that occurred in the early hours was the largest since the earthquake. The roads to several villages and towns were affected again. Landslides interrupted the roads that had just been repaired, including the ones leading to her intended destination. But Du Xiaosu still did not hesitate. Colleagues helped her make countless phone calls before finding an off-road vehicle that was willing to go. It was said that this car was a volunteer chartered car, but there is still a place to pick her up.

The moment she got in the car, she felt it was a coincidence because she happened to meet the person who helped her carry the luggage at the airport. He also had two companions. The three men sat in a row, leaving her the position of the co-pilot. The back seat of the car was stuffed with materials, mostly medicines, as well as tents and canvases that were in short supply in the disaster area. The man was also surprised when she saw her: “Ah, what a coincidence!”

It was quite a coincidence, so after a brief chat, Du Xiaosu learned that his surname is Meng and that he was a volunteer from Beijing.

After driving for two hours, the mountain road has already begun to be rugged and difficult to navigate. Along the way, they kept on encountering convoys for disaster or ambulances that were transporting the wounded. The road was very narrow, and there were big rocks in some places, so they had to carefully make detours. The more they moved forward, the more steeper the roads became. There were constantly small rocks falling on the roof of the car making clinking noises. The driver drove carefully, constantly cursing at the heavens in his dialect. Ater a long time, they suddenly saw a direct policeman, standing at the most dangerous curve, directing the traffic. The policeman wore a dusty safely helmet. Not far behind him was a similarly dusty police motorcycle. He appeared exhausted and his gestures were not strong, but with his help, most cars could quickly pass. When their car passed by, Du Xiaosu raised her camera through the window and took a picture of the nameless hero who insisted on his post. Near noon, the car moved to a slightly open area, so the driver stopped the car for a rest. The driver went to the riverside for a bathroom break. Du Xiaosu also exited the car to move around her numb legs. She felt her stomach burning so she took apart a piece of chocolate and forced herself to swallow it. The three volunteers didn’t get out of the car, they sat in the car and ate bread for lunch in silence. The driver came back and swallowed a piece of bread in three mouthfuls. He told Du Xiaosu to get in the car and said, “Let’s go.” After looking at the sky, he murmured, “Fuck!”

The road was still bumpy, Du Xiaosu started to have a headache, maybe because she didn’t sleep well yesterday. She went back to her room to sleep at three o’clock in the morning and got up again at six o’clock in the morning. She really hadn’t slept well. The car was still going around on the mountain road, and she was half-asleep for a while, but she didn’t actually fall asleep. She closed her eyes for a while, and was suddenly awakened by the stern sound of the flute. She opened her eyes and was startled with cold sweat. Looking out, she realized that an ambulance had just passed by.

As the car went around on the mountain road, the signal of the mobile phone was sometimes good, sometimes bad. She tried to send another text message to Shao Zhenrong, but still did not tell him that she was in Sichuan, but just wrote: “I am waiting for you to come back.”

Du Xiaosu had continually been unable to think of how she received the call that day. But she would always remember those vague and messy fragments, not forming memories, but like a tsunami that came overwhelmingly. No, no, not a tsunami, but and earthquake, an earthquake that broke the sky and earth. All the mountains in this world collapsed, all the cities in this world kneeled, and buried her there, buried under a few hundred meters of rubble, never to stand up again. Her soul would always stay in that dark place, with no light, no future. All the lights of hope were extinguished at that moment. All her eyes became blind at that moment. All gods and buddhas had turned to ashes, only at that moment.

The call was made by a director at Shao Zhenrong;s hospital. Her cell phone signal was very bad. She was still in the car and the conversation was intermittent. There were always a few seconds in between, mixed with a lot of noise. The voice on the other end was buzzing, she heard it multiple times before she understood that something was wrong with Shao Zhenrong.

She only asked one sentence from beginning to end: “Where is he?”

She can’t remember everything about that day, and she can’t remember how she answered on the phone. It was like a broken camera, except for the chaotic shots passing by, everything was a white blank. She only remembered that she was going back to Chengdu like she was crazy. She spoke upside down, and she didn’t know if the person in the car understood her, but the driver stopped the car immediately, and they all helped her to catch another car. One car after another sped past her. She couldn’t think of anything, but she didn’t shed tears. At last, they stopped a small truck. It was crowded with people, women and children, and some people wrapped in bloody bandages. She didn’t hesitate to crawl into the back of the car and sit down. The volunteer named Meng was very worried, and hurriedly took out a ballpoint pen and wrote a number on her palm: “If you encounter difficulties, call this number. His surname is Li. Just say that Meng Heping asked you to find him.”

She didn’t even have time to thank him before the truck started to move again. The volunteer named Meng Heping, the driver and his companions all stood on the side of the road, gradually disappearing from sight. She’d never known time to move so slowly, so slowly. The truck moved on a mountain road. She was bumped around and could only cling onto the railing on the back, with both hands. The wind blew hair on her face, the strikes of her hair were very painful, but she didn’t even cry.

She still had not cried. When she arrived at Shuangliu Airport, it was already dark. She rushed to all the counters and asked, “Are there any tickets to Shanghai?”

Everyone shook their heads at her, she asked them individually, and everyone shook their heads at her. She felt desperate, but she did not cry. The flights were abnormal. Except for the flights that transported rescuers and materials, all flights were delayed, and the current flights to other places were full. She had no way to go back, she had no way. She put her head on the counter in despair, there was sweat on her palms. She suddenly saw the number on the palm of her hand, which was written on the palm by Meng Heping.

No matter what, she had to try, but there was already a number that was too fuzzy to see. She tried twice before getting the call. She was not sure if she was right, but just said all at once, “Hello, is this Mr. Li?” My surname is Du. Meng Heping asked me to find you.”

The other party was surprised and polite: “Hello, what’s the matter?”

“I’m going to Shanghai.” Her voice was already hoarse, but she didn’t care about it, “I’m at Shuangliu Airport. Tonight, no matter what, I must go to Shanghai.”

The other party did not hesitate and only asked: “How many people?”

She seemed to see the last rays of light in despair: “Just me.”

“Then you stay at the airport and don’t move, I’ll let someone come over to find you. Is this phone number your contact number?”

She nodded desperately, regardless of the fact that the other party couldn’t see it at all. It took a while before she reacted, saying, “Yes, yes.” After the phone was hung up, her whole body seemed to be drained, and her whole body close to falling. She still remembered to call Old Mo. Before even talking, he had already asked, “Where are you?”

“Deputy Mo,” she tried her best to calm her voice, “Please arrange someone else to come over, I can’t go to the front line, I want to go back to Shanghai.”

“What happened?”

She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t say the name. She was shaking all over her body while holding the phone. She couldn’t say anything. Old Mo yelled anxiously. She already couldn’t understand what he was saying. She hastily hung up the phone. Her whole person seemed to have been sucked out of life. She couldn’t think, couldn’t cry. She couldn’t do anything, she could only endure. She needed to see Shao Zhenrong. He was fine. He must be fine. He was just injured, but accidentally injured, so he was rushed back to Shanghai. She was going to see Shao Zhenrong in the hospital to see how he was. No, she didn’t even need to see him to know that he was okay. But she needed to see him. She must see him to feel at ease.

She called the hospital again: “I can rush back tonight, please take care of Shao Zhenrong.” She hung up without waiting for the other party to say anything. She didn’t cry. Old Mo called many times, but she didn’t answer. Finally, a very unfamiliar number was called. She was afraid that it was from the hospital and they had updates about Zhenrong’s injury, so she hurriedly pressed the answer button. It turned out to be an unknown man, asking: “Miss Du, right? Are you going to Shanghai? Where are you?”

She held back all her tears: “I’m at the entrance of the first floor of the terminal, at the China Eastern Airlines counter.”

“I see you.” The man in uniform put the phone away, strode up to her, and asked her, “Where is your luggage?” “I have no luggage.” She just clutched a bag. There was only a camera and interview machine inside. She even forgot her laptop on the off-road vehicle.

“Please follow me.”