Tears in Heaven

After another day, after Du Xiaosu went to work, she only then learned that the earthquake had been serious, because she fell asleep immediately after returning home, and didn’t watch TV nor surf  the Internet. Shocking news broke out on MSN. Portals began to cover the disaster situation, and everyone couldn’t help crying. The company’s business has almost come to a halt. Colleagues took the initiative to raise funds. Du Xiaosu donated one month’s salary, and then during lunch break, went to find a place to donate blood with her colleagues. It was only a few weeks to half a year since her last blood donation, but she knew that her blood type was scarce, and she just wanted to save more people, even if it was just one person.

They hadn’t found the blood donation cart, but she suddenly received Shao Zhenrong’s phone call. At this time, it would be his day shift.

“Xiaosu,” he said in a hurried tone, “Our hospital received an order to organize a medical team to Sichuan. I have signed up just now. They’ve told us we’ll now leave in the afternoon.” After a short pause, he said, “Wait for my return. Let’s talk about it then, alright?”

Her heart sank, because she heard that aftershocks from the earthquake were still continuing, she said anxiously: “Be careful of your own safety.”

“I know.” His background sound was noisy. He seemed to be at a meeting. He also seemed to be outdoors. “I know.” He paused for a while and said, “Goodbye.”

The phone was hung up in a hurry, leaving only beeps. She stood there, her heart moving. She would wait, wait for him to come back, and confess to him. She did something wrong, she would pluck up the courage to face it, and no matter if he hated her or left, she would wait until that moment and wait for him to come back.

After Shao Zhenrong left, she didn’t hear from him again because a large part of the mobile phone base stations were still unavailable, and communication in the disaster area was difficult. Telecommunications also urged the public not to make calls to the disaster area to ensure that the most urgent and important communication could go through. Disaster relief news was broadcast live on TV for 24 hours. The whole world was immersed in grief and tears. Thousands of people died, including the youngest and most innocent children. Everyone was in tears, and some colleagues cried in the break rooms because of the pictures in the news, the children who were sleeping forever, and the scenes of the loss of their loved ones.

Du Xiaosu also felt powerless. In the face of such a disaster, each person’s strength was so small that it was near hopeless. She convinced herself to be calm and do something she could do. The blood bank was full. She queued up to register for an appointment. If there was any need for blood, she could donate as soon as possible. Several colleagues organized a group and pooled money to purchase mineral water, tents, and medicine to be sent to the disaster area. Du Xiaosu also went to help. The post office is very busy. There were many people sending clothes and blankets to the disaster area. There was a temporarily erected public notice board stating that all relief supplies sent to the disaster area would be sent for free. The staff of the post office were busy putting labels on the big boxes of clothes. Some people were sobbing in the lobby, while others quietly comforted them. She was unsure if they were remembering friends and relatives in the disaster area or simply cried at their powerlessness.

Tired to the extreme, her mind went blank.

Du Xiaosu fell asleep on the subway going home. She dreamed of her parents, Zhenrong, and herself. There was a lot of snow, and the white snow covered everything. She walked alone in the snow for a long, long time. She was hungry and cold, but she couldn’t find a single person.

The subway shook to a halt and started broadcasting. She was awakened and found that she had ridden past her stop. She had no choice but to go down, and then change to the opposite train and ride back. In the carriage there was a young mother with a child, a pretty little girl, about one or two years old, with round dark eyes, looking at her and smiling.

At this moment of being soaked in tears, when the whole country was mourning in pain, at a time when even the host of the live TV broadcast sobbed soundlessly, only a child could smile like this, staring at everything with innocent eyes, letting people see hope, letting them see the future, letting them see happiness.

After returning home, she unexpectedly received the first text message from Shao Zhenrong since he left: “Xiaosu, today, phones can finally receive text messages, but they can’t make calls. The situation here is very bad, and there are still towns and counties that have not cleared the roads. Tomorrow, our medical team will follow the troops into the mountains, and there will be no signal on the mobile phone by then.”

She wrote a long message, deleted some words then added more, added more and then deleted. In the end, only ten words remained: “I hope everything is safe, I’ll wait for you to come back.”

The text message has not been sent for a long time, and the phone keeps prompting that the sending failed. She was not discouraged. She tried again and again, lying on the sofa, looking at the small envelope on the phone screen spin. If it failed, she would send again. Another failure, she would send again…Until finally “SMS sent successfully” appeared, she raised her head and realized that her neck was already sore.

He didn’t reply to her text message, maybe because the signal was bad, maybe because he was too busy. According to the news, many rescue workers were overloaded while fighting on the front line. On the screen, there were many rescue troops sleeping on the road in their clothes, and doctors and nurses operating at full capacity. Maybe he was too tired, busy with surgery, busy with rescue, and had very little time to rest… She waited till midnight, and finally fell asleep on the sofa with her mobile phone.

As soon as she went to work the next morning, her boss asked her to find her: “Yutian Real Estate is calling and telling you to go.”

She was slightly startled.

The boss urged: “Yutian Real Estate is our most important customer. Please go over immediately, don’t neglect.”

“Yes.”

She had to cross the river to get to the office building of Yutian Real Estate. It took more than an hour on the road before she arrived under the skyscraper. Going up the elevator, the front desk confirmed the appointment, calling to inform: “Secretary Shan, Miss Du from Boyuan has arrived.” The other party seemed to say something, and then the front desk attendant put down the phone and told her, “Miss Du, you can go upstairs.”

The building was unsurprisingly magnificent, even the floor-to-ceiling windows of the aisle faced the river beach in an unobstructed view. From such a high point of view, the river water became thin white silk, and the century-old luxurious buildings on the riverside in the distance looked like miniature bonsais. The sunlight was clear, and the whole city looked like a world of gold powder, filled with the prosperity of the peak of the world. But she didn’t care about the scenery at all, and only followed the lead secretary into the reception room.

Secretary Shan was very polite: “Miss Du, please sit down for a while, Mr. Lei will come over later.”

Although she had made enough mental preparations, when she saw Lei Yuzheng again, she still got up from the sofa a little anxiously.

The heavy oak door closed behind him. This was the first time she’d looked straight at him, only to realize that he was quite similar to Shao Zhenrong. The only thing that was different was the gaze. Shao Zhenrong’s gaze was always like a lake, gentle and deep, but Lei Yuzheng’s gaze was like the sea, with an unfathomable, indiscernible depth.

She took a deep breath, as if she knew what to face.

“Miss Du, please sit down.”

He seemed to be very polite, but she waited for him to sit down and then sat down on the sofa very cautiously.

He seemed to be more relaxed, and he seemed to be completely different person from the aggressiveness that night, with a gentle atmosphere similar to Shao Zhenrong, appearing elegant and calm: “Miss Du, I originally wanted to talk outside, but considered that it will be more private and safe here, and I don’t think you want people to know about our meeting.”

She just listened very quietly.

“Obviously I underestimated your weight in Zhenrong’s heart. For the first time in so many years, I have never seen him so depressed. I don’t intend to let my parents know about this matter. Obviously, Miss Du, you are even more reluctant to make a big deal. So, while Zhenrong is away, I want to have a good talk with you.”

“Mr. Lei…”

He interrupted her: “Miss Du is a smart person. You should know that although our family is open, the only requirement of my parents for their children’s marriage partner is that they are innocent. I don’t want my family to be a laughingstock, let alone have Zhenrong face any harm. So I think the best way to deal with this matter is still the advice I gave you – leave Zhenrong.”

She said with difficulty: “I–“

“How about studying abroad, Miss Du? Which school are you interested in? Wellesley? Mount Holyoke? Or Columbia University?”

“Mr. Lei…”

“Miss Du, I have limited patience.” He crossed his fingers, carrying nonchalance. “Boyuan, the company where you are currently employed, is a so-called architectural design company. And my ability to influence this industry far exceeds your furthest imagination. If I haven’t remembered incorrectly, your father will retreat to the second line in two years, while your mother can retire in only a few years. Then, they can spend their twilight years at home…”

She stood up unconsciously, and clenched her fingers: “Mr. Lei, if Zhenrong knows everything and he wants to leave me, I won’t say a word. Because I did something wrong, him not forgiving me is natural. But if Zhenrong intends to forgive me, I will not give up even if I die, because I really love him.”

Lei Yuzheng leaned on the sofa and seemed to laugh very relaxedly. Only then did Du Xiaosu discover that when he laughed, there was also a vague dimple on his left cheek, but it was shallower than Shao Zhenrong’s. Because his smile was faint, the dimple appeared to be there and appeared not.. His smile was like a gust of wind on the sea, disappearing in an instant, making people feel as if the sight was just their imagination. He asked with a smile, “Miss Du, don’t you feel ashamed?”

“I don’t feel ashamed. Mr. Lei, you have almost everything in this world, rights, status, money… As you said, there are very few things you can’t do in this world. But, if even you are not ashamed when you are threatening me, why should I feel ashamed? Yes, I was confused for a while, and I regretted it afterwards. I left. Why do you think I am an indulgent woman? I did something wrong, so wrong that I don’t intend to forgive myself, but if Zhenrong forgives me, I will do my best to continue to love him. I regret that I didn’t confess to him. I really regret it, even if he doesn’t intend to forgive me. Unfortunately, the times of females losing their purity and being placed in pig dens has passed. Mr. Lei, when it comes to chastity, I think you have no position to accuse me. You and your family can ask me to be flawless, but what about your future wife? Is she qualified to ask you to be pure as a jade, not having any relationships with the opposite sex at all before marriage? So you have no right to accuse me. The only one who has the right to accuse me is Zhenrong. The matter between us was before I met Zhenrong, and Zhenrong also frankly told me that when he was abroad, he had cohabited with his previous girlfriend and they later broke up because of personality differences. To this day, the education and knowledge that I have received makes me feel that men and women are equal in this matter. After getting to know Zhenrong, I have done nothing to be sorry for, and I treat him wholeheartedly, so I don’t think there is anything to be ashamed of.”

He narrowed his eyes and seemed to be looking at her. Finally, he said, “Miss Du, you have no sincerity to solve this matter?”

“If you feel that I am not worthy of Zhenrong, you can directly ask Zhenrong to leave me instead of threatening me with my family here.”

He nodded approvingly: “The courage is commendable!”

And she stood there, like an arrow, straight, her eyes were also straight, looking at him. He suddenly chuckled: “Actually, I really want to know, if Zhenrong comes back and breaks up with you clearly, what your expression will look like.”

“That’s between me and him. As long as he makes a choice, I will accept it. Maybe I will be in great pain, maybe I will be depressed for a while, maybe I will never fall in love with others in this life, but I loved him. Maybe because I’ve loved for so long, I won’t be able to stop. But I’ve very happy because I know what love is. And you, Mr. Lei, you haven’t experienced it, let alone understand it.”

She showed her first smile in a few days: “This is the 50th floor, standing on such a high place, Mr. Lei, I always thought that your vision would be broader than others.” She bowed, “Farewell.”

After entering the elevator, she realized that her cheeks were hot, as if she was feverish. She touched her face. She didn’t expect to say so much in one breath, but when she thought of Zhenrong and that he said to let her wait, she felt that nothing was frightening anymore, because he said he would have her wait, then she would definitely wait until he came back.

When the phone rang, she thought she heard wrong, but afraid it was Shao Zhenrong, she hurriedly took it from her bag. It turned out to be Old Mo. Old Mo was still that same old loud voice. I thought it was a mistake. I was afraid that it was Shao Zhenrong. He quickly turned it out from his bag, and it turned out to be Lao Mo. Lao Mo still had that loud voice, and he asked directly, “Du Xiaosu, are you going to the disaster area?”

She was bewildered by one sentence. Old Mo continued to yell and chatter: “There’s insufficient manpower. There are quite a few disaster regions that don’t have any reporters at all. The front page reports really can’t keep up. Old Li is so busy in Beichuan that he’s stomping his feet and Heming is trapped in Qingchuan. In-depth reports. I want in-depth reports! In the afternoon, there is a rescue charter that is flying past. I already found a seat, but our newspaper really doesn’t have anyone that can go. Do you want to go? If you want to go, say so quickly. If not, I will find someone else.”

“I’ll go! I’ll go!” She didn’t even need to think and hurriedly answered, “Of course I want to go!”

Lao Mo said directly: “Then you bring your own dry food and water. Don’t cause trouble to the people in the disaster area.”

  “I know, I know.”

She hung up the phone and went straight to the company. She found the HR vice president and explained everything in one go, and said: “If the company approves my vacation, I will leave soon. If the company doesn’t approve… I will resign.”

In any case, Lei Yuzheng had already planned to make her unable to hang on in this business, and she didn’t miss it either. If she can go to the disaster area, although she might not have a chance to meet Shao Zhenrong, she can at least breathe the same air as him. The important thing was to be able to do something for the disaster area, even if it was rough and a lot of work.

The vice president seemed a little surprised: “Miss Du, even if it is a normal resignation, you still need to report to the company three months in advance. But…” the vice president smiled quickly, “Special affairs, right? Go to the disaster area, We can count this as your annual leave.”

She was so grateful that she could not speak, so she just repeated “thank you” over and over again. The vice president also said: “The aftershocks are continuing. As a girl, you must pay attention to safety.”

She appeared to be reduced to “thank you”s.

Her immediate boss, Ning Weicheng, was also very supportive, and immediately arranged for a colleague to take over her work. He said readily, “You can rest assured and pay attention to safety.”

She ran to buy a lot of food and medicine. If she can be take with her, they can be distributed to the victims. While busy, she took the time to call Zou Siqi and asked her to hide this from her parents. After everything was prepared, she rushed to the airport with big and small bags. It was almost time to board the plane. Looking for the person who was arranged by Lao Mo, she got on the plane very smoothly.

The flight time was more than two hours. Everyone on the plane was a healthcare professional or epidemic prevention personnel. Everyone was very silent and almost no one talked. Du Xiaosu was a little airsick, maybe because she was too nervous, so she had to force himself to close her eyes and rest.

She did not dream, but fell asleep for a short while, maybe ten minutes, maybe a few minutes, maybe just a few seconds. The weather was very bad. After entering the sky over Sichuan, the plane had to keep flying above the clouds. Later, when they reached the air above Shuangliu Airport, they encountered air traffic control and had to hover for more than ten minutes. It was raining in Chengdu, but fortunately, the landing went smoothly.

After getting off the plane, Du Xiaosu turned on her mobile phone. The signal was normal. So, she tried to call Shao Zhenrong, but his mobile phone was not in the service area, thus she took advantage of the time of waiting for the luggage to send him a text message. He didn’t reply, he probably didn’t receive it, or he was busy. So Du Xiaosu sent a text message to Lao Mo, reporting that she had arrived safely. The waiting hall was noisy. From all over, there was volunteers and professional medical teams coming to help. Everyone was waiting for their luggage. She finally saw her big bag on the conveyor belt. It was very difficult to move it down. Someone reached out and helped her put it on the cart. She thanked repeatedly. The man saw that she was still packing boxes of medicines and instant noodles, so he asked her, “Are you a volunteer?”

She was a little embarrassed: “No, I’m a reporter.”

The man smiled gently: “It’s okay, it’s the same.”

Indeed, they were all here to do what they could do and do their best.

The situation in Chengdu was much better than she had imagined. The order of the city has been basically restored. Although the open space was still full of tents, the traffic situation has returned to normal. Occasionally, ambulances could be seen whistling by. The newspaper had a reporter station in Chengdu. The reporters had all rushed to the frontline disaster area, leaving behind only an editor on duty. She went to meet the editor, but she encountered aftershocks shortly after entering the door. Du Xiaosu felt the room shake for several seconds. She was frightened.The editor was very calm: “You will get used to the shaking.”