THAT DAY I BECAME A STAR

After my victory against the Longinus guy, K'nor carries me back to the rear lines as if he was asked to do so. There, I meet Frankher who has his face in emotionless mode, but greets me with encouraging words.

"That was well done." 

"Thank you, Sir." Let's keep the hierarchical respect for now.

"But you went on alone again. Relying on your comrades isn't a weakness nor a sin, you know?" 

"I know. It's just the circumstances that led to this situation." 

"Still, it is not an excuse. You will have to be punished later for that.. "

"Okay." I won and that's the only thing that matters right now to me. 

Still, the battle is going on without much difference after that. I thought this guy had cleared a lot of Longinus while shooting his arrows but this looks just as if only a third of them were cleared out. Another kirsurk pops out while I am observing the ongoing battle. It turns towards an isolated group of soldiers and prepares to launch his attack but then the mortars fires at him. How do those guys aim so fast? I barely see the mortar moving though. Which reminds me, we lost a mortar. Maybe that's why Frankher wants to punish me?

"So tedious." 

***

"Victory!!!" 

"Hooray!!!!" 

"Oh!!!!" 

As the night falls, Frankher proclaims our victory while the last kirsurk gets destroyed. I didn't participate too much after my fight since I am still basking in the afterglow of my win. But I did do my share of work and took care of prators and two kirsurks here and there on the battlefield.

Among the guys celebrating by screaming at the top of their lungs, I suddenly notice them: Keltia and Peter. Unlike the others, they are not joyful. If anything, they look like somebody died again. Wait, no way… I go to them and immediately grab Peter's shoulders. I don't really care about Germinia but Alphonse is somebody I can consider a rival on my level. If his sister dies, he will certainly go berserk. Or maybe it is Sarah. Then it is not my problem.

"W-what?" 

"Who is it?" 

"What??" 

"Who died this time?" 

"What are you talk-"

"No one died that you know of." Keltia answers instead. 

"Then why are you so depressed?" 

"W-well…The guys that were with us, some of them got killed." 

"I couldn't do anything to protect them. My script is too weak." 

They start berating themselves with their heads lowered. Are you guys serious right now? 

"Wait, only because of that?" 

"You shut up, okay?!! Unlike you, some people do care about other people's lives!" 

Peter pushes me back with anger. If it was Keltia, I could understand, but Peter, we have seen other people being slaughtered a lot of times already. Why would you act as if this time is special?

"Were they people you knew?" 

"Why does it matter?!! Goddammit! You and your stupid questions!!" 

He goes away, directly followed by Keltia who doesn't say anything else either. Hm…This is irritating. For you to act like this…

I read Peter's mind but none of the soldiers who died were related to him or Keltia in any way. 

'Even though they scream for help, I couldn't…' From what Keltia is thinking, it seems they got traumatized by the fact that they were asked to help and couldn't do a thing. Well, if that's the only thing then welcome to war. You will face that a lot from now on.

'This bastard and his mighty reasons!!' And you didn't have to insult me, Peter.

***

We greet the dawn with an improvised party between us mercenaries while the soldiers are entering the city. They must want to clear out any remnants of the Longinus that are left inside. Well, it is not our problem anymore, is it? 

"Cheers!!!" All the guys raise their gigantic mugs of beer that they brought from god knows where and after Willhem gives me one as well, we all knock them again togheter. Making the 'clack' sounds of wood being hit resounds around us. 

I can see some soldiers walking past us while looking with envy. Some even put their finger in their mouth like they would even pay to be in our place right now. 

"You aren't allowed to drink." Right when I was about to taste the beer that smells especially weird, somebody…Frankher takes my mug from above.

"Oh, sir." I stand up but to my surprise, instead of saying something, Frankher instead starts drinking from my mug, and in one move, he empties it like it was mere droplets he drank.

"Wow!! The commander is a heavy drinker!! Come on!! Let's drink!!!" 

They give him another mug and Frankher gulps it down once again. Wait, why does he have to drink and I can't?

"You shouldn't down it like that, you know." 

"You shouldn't underestimate somebody who has drunk the firewine from Yris." 

"Wait, commander, you drank that thing?!!" 

"No way!!" 

"What do you think?" And just like that, Frankher takes my place and starts drinking with the other mercenaries. Did he just eject me from the group like that? 

I leave them and go to the group I am more familiar with. 

"Hey. Your fight was great." Sarah greets me first. The others are just eyeing me, each for different reasons.

"They all think the same as well." 

"Yeah, I know." I didn't but anyway.

"You want to show off?" Germinia then takes the floor and immediately starts like a horse at full speed.

"You think so?" 

"I still think you are weak. You are unable to protect her." 

"I know. And I hope that when the time comes, you will be able to do so in my stead." 

"Really?!! That's great!" Germinia shows me a smile I have clearly never seen on her, ever.

"Of course not. Are you stupid?" Who would give up the cuteness of my Lanuvel to some pervert like you?

"You fucking prick!" Germinia jumps on me and after I evade her, she starts chasing me around, under the laugh of the others. She really believed me? Then she even more gullible than I thought. Especially when it concerns Lanuvel.

***

The next sunrise, I am up alone among anyone from the eternal academy. Germinia covered herself with a red blanket. Keltia and Peter… look like they kissed a lot while we were sleeping. I don't know if Keltia noticed but some of her lipstick is still glued on Peter's cheek. And why does she put lipstick before a fight like this one? It is light enough to go unnoticed but I have good eyes. Sarah is nowhere to be seen. Or not. I meet Frankher standing up while looking in the direction of the sun. His hands on his waist, he looks like a hero right now. Especially with the sun creating a halo of him while he is standing on a small hill.

"Good morning." 

"Ah, good morning, Kevin." 

"You slept we…Not at all, huh." 

He has dark circles under his eyes and his face is still red. Is he still drunk?

"Your companions are fine drinkers. They kept me up until morning." 

I look left and right and finally find the other mercenaries all sleeping in weird positions. They are snoring like their life depends on it. This time, Hendrick's hand is in Willhem's mouth. I hope he bites you.

"Is that so? What were you drinking to?" 

"To you." 

"Me?" What? 

"When you vanquished that Longinus, I saw it. A hero. Somebody who will free us from the Longinus. Somebody who wasn't born special but became one through his sheer efforts."

"Huh…I don't know what to say." I seriously don't know what to say because of this…This is truly me indeed. 

I wasn't born special. I was weak and therefore abandoned. I was weak and therefore people died. But even so, I kept going, I fought and cried. I fought and smiled. And here I am now. Standing on the top of a hill, with the sun caressing me. Can I truly be a hero? I want to save those I love and care about. I want them to be happy, with or without me. But can I really do it? No, Cissa herself said so. I should stop thinking with 'can I'. I can do it. I WILL DO IT.

"You don't need to say anything. I am just talking to myself." 

"But can somebody like me be a hero? Can someone who killed thousands of people out of hatred and revenge be a hero?" I did destroy Nargil. It is not something that can be erased nor can it be forgiven.

"A hero doesn't have to be the most innocent person. No, in fact, a hero cannot be innocent."

"What? Why?" 

"Because you cannot be a hero to everybody. You will always be a hero for some people. And to do so, you will have to become the nightmare, the absolute nemesis of others. Even our own heroes right now are being despised by some people because they are fighting for humanity. It is unavoidable." 

"I see. But still…" 

Frankher then touches my head and pats me.

"Don't worry. I am not pressuring into it. Just do what you do best and everything will be fine. You will be fine, I am sure of it. That's why, please, take care of my daughter and my son-in-law when I am gone, okay?" Your son-in-law, huh. So, you have acknowledged Peter in the end. 

"I will." 

"Good." 

Frankher then removes his hands and goes to a tent a bit far from our group. That's right. I can only do what I do best and everything will be fine. I will protect them. All of them, I will definitively make sure they live happily.