The Creature Inside Me

Irvin and Abel were outside while Dr Hill was running tests on Zadkiel. Irvin finally brought Zadkiel to the hospital for a proper checkup. He didn’t want to waste more time than he actually had. He was busy with some business deals bombarded on him by his father and he knew his father did it on purpose so Irvin wouldn’t get enough time for Zadkiel but today Irvin just straight up said no to his father to do this.

Dr Hill exited the examination room with Zadkiel. He had unreadable expressions on his face which made Abel more scared while Irvin still waited for an answer.

“Let’s take this to my office.” Dr Hill spoke. They all followed him to his office. Dr Hill took his time in taking off his coat and adjusting on his seat which scared Abel more.

“Can you please reveal the big secret now? Is there any cure for him?” Abel finally ran out of patience and questioned. Dr Hill leaned forward on the desk between him and the three of them and clasped his hands on it.

“Well, I can’t seem to find what’s wrong with him and that’s very strange.” Dr Hill started. “His cells are dying faster than his healing system could heal them. His organs are in a weak state. He seems healthy from the outside and everything seems perfect but still, he is dying. I don’t know how? I’ve never seen something like this.” Dr Hill informed them.

“Is there a way to save him?” Abel asked the question again.

“I can only provide a solution to the problem when I would know what exactly the problem is. Without knowing the cause of the disease I can’t find any cure for it.” He responded feeling very sorry for not being any help.

“How is that a person who can heal others, can’t heal himself?” Abel asked out of frustration now.

Everyone stayed silent because no one had an answer for that. Irvin glanced sideways at Zadkiel who was looking down, fiddling with his fingers. He seemed upset. Well, more like with no hope.

“I’m waiting for you guys by the car.” Zadkiel stood up before anyone could have said anything about feeling sorry for him or something. He didn’t want to go through it again. It was painful enough the first time.

None of them had the strength to stop Zadkiel because they had a guess what he must be feeling at this point. They just silently let him leave while they stay seated.

“Is there no hope at all?” Abel questioned Dr Hill when he left.

“I can’t say that. Maybe I don’t have a cure for him but someone else does.” Dr Hill answered glancing at Irvin who instantly became attentive.

“You mean you think there is someone who can help him?” A bit of hope again aroused in Irvin.

“I don’t know but I feel like witches can help.” Dr Hill suggested.

“Witches? How?” Irvin frowned. He was never a fan of witches. Of course, there were some good witches as well but most of them were just creepy.

“When nature and science both fail to answer a question, magic is the last hope. I feel like whatever he is going through is magic. The dark one.” Dr Hill informed them.

“Are you sure?” Irvin was still not liking the idea of turning to witches for help.

“I’m never sure when it comes to magic, Mr Ford because I’m a person who treats taking help from nature but by the looks of it, this is magic, like a spell or a curse.” Dr Hill responded.

“Thank you.” Irvin stood up, patting Abel’s shoulder to tell him that they were leaving as he looked lost in thoughts.

“Mr Ford.” He turned around when he heard Dr Hill call him again. “He seemed to have a lot of hope when he came here. He must be shattered.” He added.

“I know.” Irvin had smelled Zadkiel and he smelled like positivity like he knew he’d get out of the hospital with some answers and treatment to his disease.

They exchanged goodbyes before parting their ways. Abel and Irvin both walked back silently to the car. The bit of hope they had in them for Zadkiel was now not that much strong now. Irvin could physically feel the pain of the fact that he could lose Zadkiel any moment while Abel was just lost.

When they reached the car, Zadkiel was standing by it, lost in his thoughts. He was staring at this one point while biting his lip hard. He seemed like he was thinking something stressful and Irvin could only imagine.

Irvin unlocked the car and Abel hoped into it without contacting his eyes with Zadkiel because he felt guilty for filling Zadkiel with hope just to get disappointed again. He was the one who said that Irvin could cure him or maybe there was a cure for him outside the orphanage but now he only had guilt for doing that to him.

Irvin, on the other hand, was still holding onto hope because he had no idea if he lost it what he would do. He approached Zadkiel and placed a hand on his shoulder to pull him out of his thoughts.

“Dr Hill said witches can help you,” Irvin informed Zadkiel whose head snapped up so fast. His eyes were full to the brim with tears.

“Don’t do this, Irvin. Please.” Zadkiel spoke almost in a whisper before turning around to get in the car.

Irvin’s mouth slammed shut at this and let it go because he didn’t want to upset Zadkiel more than he actually was. He hopped inside the car ignoring the topic for now.

When they reached home, Zadkiel locked himself in the room. Abel and Irvin both pleaded to him to at least talk it out with them but Zadkiel refused. He wanted to be left alone with his miserable self.

All the while he knew he was going to die and never had hope. He never even considered living past those four years doctors estimated. He never even cared to live because he thought it was better to die than to hurt someone but after meeting Irvin, everything changed. He wanted to live as long as he could with Irvin. He developed new hope when Abel and Irvin said there must be a cure for him. He hoped to live a healthy life but he forgot that none of them was sure themselves. They just tried to give him confidence, they didn’t know if there was a cure for him at all.

But now when this all seemed shattered again, he found himself cursing the moment when he woke up the new hope in him thinking he wouldn’t die because it hurt him. The disappointment hurt him so much. He could feel the scorching pain in his heart thinking of how he would die in a year maximum and it was not enough for him. He wanted more with Irvin.

He locked himself in the bathroom in fear that someone would just use a key to get in the room. He really didn’t want to be around someone. He wanted to hide so no one could give him sympathetic looks or pass pitiful comments.

Everyone just let him be for a while. Irvin stayed in his own room but he could smell the sadness Zadkiel was radiating. He could just feel guilty about it because he couldn’t do anything. If Zadkiel wanted to be alone for a while, he was willing to give him his space.

It was almost dinner time, Zadkiel still hadn’t left his room. Abel had tried a few times but Zadkiel didn’t respond. Irvin and Nora also knocked on the door two times but Zadkiel didn’t even answer from inside.

Abel told them that it was pretty normal for Zadkiel to act like that because when he found out the first time, he had locked himself in the store for entire 24 hours but Irvin didn’t want him to miss his other meal.

He got up from the dining table where everyone was having dinner and trod up the stairs to try one more time. He knocked on the door, calling Zadkiel in a low and soft tone though that tone held no pity so Zadkiel wouldn’t mind it.

When Zadkiel didn’t respond, Irvin grabbed the spare key to open the room. He unlocked it and entered to only find it empty. He could still smell that he was inside so he followed the scent which led to the bathroom. He knocked on the door.

“Zadkiel… it's dinner time.” He whispered lightly knocking on the door.

“Go away, Irvin,” Zadkiel spoke from the other side of the room. Voice was so groggy and rough because of crying and not being in use for an entire day.

“Please…” Irvin pressed his forehead against the door. “I’m sorry.” He couldn’t help and the guilt in him made him speak again.

“It’s not your fault, Irvin. I just want to be alone for a while.” Zadkiel whispered in a voice so low that if it wasn’t for Irvin’s super-hearing ability, he couldn’t have heard him.

“I’m leaving but if you need something, just call me.” He sighed.. He knew he couldn’t force Zadkiel for anything so he decided to let it go.