The Hated Male Concubine

#154

Yihan’s tongue slid impatiently between Hwawoon’s lips as he was startled by the suddenness of the action. There was no way Yihan couldn’t feel Hwawoon tense in surprise, but as if to corner him further, Yihan grabbed Hwawoon’s waist with his other hand and pulled him. Then, he delved deep inside him and licked every inch of delicate flesh.

“Your-Your Majesty… Ugh…!”

Feeling at a loss, Hwawoon’s hands desperately pushed against Yihan’s shoulders, trying to pull away, but the Emperor had none of it. After their lips had been separated for a brief moment, Yihan bit down on Hwawoon’s lower lip. It wasn’t enough to leave a scar, but it was strong enough to cause a tingling sensation of pain. When Hwawoon let out a muffled moan, Yihan didn’t miss it and pushed in his hot flesh again. Yihan’s body language was angry, and he looked terribly anxious, but somehow Hwawoon couldn’t help but feel that the Emperor was desperately clinging to him. Such a thing was impossible, though.

“Your… mmph! Your Majesty, wa… please wait…!”

Hwawoon attempted to push Yihan away and voice his words several times, but Yihan forcefully pushed him onto the bed, as if he refused to hear them. In the next instant, Hwawoon’s legs became entangled in the bed, causing him to fall backward, with the Emperor now atop him. Their ragged breaths mingled for a moment. Hwawoon’s trembling hands clutched desperately at the hem of Yihan’s robe.

“Your Majesty, please… Please listen to me first….”

Yihan’s face contorted upon hearing Hwawoon’s frightened voice. He hadn’t intended for this to happen. He never meant to exert this kind of pressure on him, to make him feel afraid. A sense of shame washed over him. Yihan didn’t even know what Yeon Hwawoon was attempting to convey, but the foreboding premonitions that kept creeping in drove him to act forcefully.

He could do it if he wanted to. As the Emperor, he possessed the authority to override the objections of his concubines and impose punishment if necessary. If he issued a command, Hwawoon would be obliged to obey, and if he used physical force to pin him down, Hwawoon would have no means of escape.

“I’m… I’m sorry….”

But instead of doing so, Yihan stepped back as if crumbling away. As if he were the one who had committed an offense. He acted like a man who had grievously wronged Yeon Hwawoon—even though it could never be wrong for an emperor to embrace his concubine. Yihan, who had become so small in the blink of an eye, gently helped Hwawoon to his feet and ducked his head.

“I didn’t mean to do this… I… I’m really sorry…”

It was something an emperor could never utter and should never do, but Yihan had said it to Hwawoon on numerous occasions. It wasn’t a phrase befitting an Emperor addressing his concubine; it was an expression Sung Yihan shared to his beloved, Yeon Hwawoon. He felt overwhelmed with embarrassment and guilt, making it difficult for him to meet Hwawoon’s gaze. Regardless of the circumstances, he should not have shown such disrespect to someone he had confessed his love to.

“… Your Majesty.”

Hwawoon spoke to Yihan, who bowed his head. His voice sounded incredibly calm, considering how frightened and trembling he’d been just moments before. Yihan looked up, drawn by the voice, and saw Hwawoon’s face staring back at him with eyes of unknown depth. He felt his breath catch in his throat again.

“It’s okay, Your Majesty. I’m fine.”

“…….”

“But… there is something I must tell you… It will be a long and unbelievable story, but I implore you to listen.”

Yihan wanted to cover his ears there and then. It was an instinctive feeling. A warning of sorts, the kind he had been feeling ever since he entered the courtyard of Seojeong Palace today, was pounding at his heart as if it was going to explode.

But Sung Yihan was not the kind of man who could force Yeon Hwawoon to do anything. He was not the kind of man who could turn away from what Yeon Hwawoon wanted to say just because he didn’t feel like hearing it.

“…… Speak. I will listen.”

In the end, Yihan, who once again lost today, hid his frightened heart inside his clenched fists. Hwawoon slowly raised himself up, looking relieved, and knelt down on both knees in front of Yihan.

“Your Majesty, do you recall how I nearly died from drowning in the pond and was saved due to the sacrifice of a guard?”

Finally, the story of Hawoon began.

***

The unimaginable. There were many things that remained difficult to accept even after experiencing them. At times, Hwawoon pondered whether all of this truly unfolded against his will. Did something he vehemently opposed suddenly strike him like a natural disaster?

Indeed, it did. Hwawoon, or rather, Hawoon, had never desired to take over another person’s body and capture the Emperor’s affection. He had merely aspired to be in proximity to the Emperor, but never to become his lover or seek his love.

Yet occasionally, during solitary moments in a darkened room at night when sleep eluded him and his eyes remained wide open, such thoughts would creep in. Was it true? Had he truly not desired the Emperor’s affection, even in the slightest? Had he never yearned to stand by his side, clasp his hand, exchange affectionate gazes with him, or be cradled in his loving embrace, even once?

Whenever he was saved by every single word from the Emperor. Whenever he took the Emperor’s outstretched hand and pulled himself up. Whenever they grew noticeably closer, exchanging intimate letters, Hwawoon felt a part of his heart filled with utter joy. No matter how much guilt he felt grew and ate at him, it could not invade the joy that lingered in that tiny corner of his heart. Like it was meant to be, Hwawoon longed for the Emperor and wished he could stay by his side as long as he could. And eventually, in the end, he…

Hwawoon had, in the depths of his heart, come to cherish the Emperor. He could no longer rationalize his actions by claiming he had been unwittingly swept up in a tempest without understanding.

Nevertheless, there was a chance for redemption now. Hwawoon would rectify all that had gone astray. The transgressor who had dared to deceive the Emperor’s heart and his precious sincerity would return to his place as a wrongdoer, never to gaze into the Emperor’s gentle, affectionate eyes again.

Hwawoon thought he would finally be able to return everything back to its place. That was all. 

***

“… What…… What are you talking about?….”

Yihan stuttered as he looked down at Hwawoon, who was kneeling in front of him. At first, he couldn’t quite hear what he was saying because he was worried about Hwawoon kneeling down. He told Hwawoon that he would listen to him and asked him to get up and sit comfortably, almost begged him, and even tried to raise him up, but Hwawoon refused his touch, driving him crazy out of worry. 

Regardless, Hwawoon was unperturbed and continued to speak calmly. Word by word, hard to believe, piling up before him, and Yihan could only listen with his lips pressed together.

“So you are… You’re not Yeon Hwawoon, but…”

Yihan’s voice shook uncontrollably as he asked the question. He couldn’t even finish his sentence. It was because he couldn’t quite make sense of Hwawoon’s story. Hwawoon nodded calmly.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I am not Yeonbin Yeon Hwawoon… I am Hawoon, the commoner guard who saved Yeon Hwawoon and died… the one Your Majesty believed to be deceased.”

“That’s nonsense….”

“I know it’s hard for you to believe. I know it’s nonsense. But Your Majesty… this is the truth. I am not… I am not His Highness Yeonbin, your concubine….”

Feeling his mind go into chaos from hearing such an unexpected and outrageous story, Yihan involuntarily breathed heavily. In all his years as the emperor and the ruler of the nation, he had dealt with all sorts of things, but never something as ridiculous as this. Raising his hand to sweep his face, Yihan spoke in a trembling voice.

“It seems… it seems that you have not yet recovered.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Otherwise, how could you talk such nonsense? I’ll call the doctor right away. So first, get up. You will get sick if you stay on the cold floor for that long. Okay?”

Despite his confusion, Yihan still voiced his concern for Hwawoon in a gentle voice. Hwawoon bit his lip, feeling each of those words, each of those affectionate auras, become hundreds of daggers stabbing at his heart. He wondered what had he done to this person, someone who was so kind and warm like this. Hwawoon wanted to slap his cheeks all night long if he could.

Yihan reached out to assist Hwawoon to his feet once more. Recollecting the days when he had grasped that hand and experienced the Emperor’s special affection, Hwawoon withdrew from his touch by moving back on his knees. Yihan’s face contorted with hurt, although Hwawoon couldn’t see it as his head remained lowered. Hwawoon stifled a cry and spoke once more.

“I’m a lowly born servant. I shouldn’t dare to accept your touch, Your Majesty.”

“Woon-ah….”

Hearing the voice that coldly pushed him away, Yihan involuntarily opened his mouth to call out to him. Yihan could clearly picture Hwawoon, who looked on the verge of tears, would give away and look up at him when his name was called so warmly like this. Alas, the man in front of him who claimed that he wasn’t Hwawoon, didn’t even look up at Yihan’s call.

“I… I’m not your Woon, Your Majesty…”