The Hated Male Concubine

#68 

“… It suits you.”

Thus, it would never have been unreasonable for Yihan, who was staring at Hwawoon, who was completely new and unfamiliar, but so beautiful that he could not turn away, to suddenly spit out such words. As soon as he said it, Yihan realized that it was not something he would say, but it was already too late to take it back, and honestly, Yihan didn’t even want to take it back. Instead, Yihan once again opened his mouth.

“It won’t be a problem even if… you wear it to the banquet tomorrow.” 

While saying he wanted to see Hwawoon at a colorful night banquet in that outfit through a statement it won’t be a problem, Yihan naturally imagined that appearance of Yeon Hwawoon.

He would have no choice but to dress up more than now when he wears that outfit to a formal gathering. Banquets are inherently held with appropriate splendidness. No, it was fine even if he didn’t dress up more. The lanterns hung to light up the night would shine Hwawoon on behalf of the sun, and Yihan also knew well how shining Hwawoon under the moonlight since he had seen it a few times.

The awkward silence surrounded the two people once again. Yihan clenched his fist as he was imagining Hwawoon wearing the same clothes under the moonlight, and Hwawoon had his heart jumped and held his breath hearing the emperor said it suits him even though he was convinced the emperor only said that out of consideration for him without particular meaning.

It was Ahjin, who broke the silence between the two, bringing tea and fruit. She was a little confused by the breathtaking silence she felt as soon as she entered, but the expression of the Emperor and her master looked somewhat shy rather than cold or fierce. Ahjin, who smiled happily to herself, hurriedly placed the things she had brought between the two, then stepped back and left the place in a flash.

Hwawoon, who thought that at least Ahjin would be by his side, became more awkward for no reason when she left without saying anything. He looked around once, and soon came to his senses and raised the question that should have been asked earlier.

“Speaking of, Your Majesty, what brings you to Jeongan Palace?” 

Yihan’s expression turned sharp at that moment. As soon as he heard Hwawoon’s question, Yihan suddenly felt very unpleasant, so he forgot that he was embarrassed until a while ago, then he asked,

“Can’t you not ask that question?” 

“Pardon?” 

“It’s not like I come to a place I shouldn’t come to, and there’s no reason needed for the emperor to visit his concubines’ residences, but you always ask for the reason…” 

“Ah…”

“Or do you… don’t like that I’m coming here…?”

Then, this time, he asked again in a slightly alarmed voice. As what was said, it was quite natural for the emperor to visit the concubine’s place, and it was a happy thing from the concubine’s point of view. However, Hwawoon was always busy asking why he came, so it made Yihan wonder if Hwawoon was uncomfortable with him and didn’t like him visiting Jeongan Palace. Otherwise, it was impossible to ask why he came with such an unchanging attitude every time.

Of course, Hwawoon had never spoken in a ‘questioning’ manner, but Yihan already felt that Hwawoon’s voice was only cold.

“Because… because I kept…” 

Because I kept ignoring you and being harsh on you. So now you don’t even want me to come. When Yihan stuttered out his words because he wanted to ask without realizing it, Hwawoon opened his mouth a little faster.

“No, Your Majesty. How can you say such a ridiculous thing?”

Hwawoon was flustered as well. Normally, it was very natural for the emperor to visit his concubine’s residence, so no reason needed to be asked, but this was Yeon Hwawoon. So, wasn’t this about Yeon Hwawoon? 

From Hwawoon’s perspective, he asked because he thought that there would be something to say because the Emperor had no reason to visit Jeongan Palace unless there was something special, but Yihan couldn’t help but be flustered as he was suddenly asked like that. Hwawoon then continued,

“I just… I thought Your Majesty would never come to Jeongan Palace if nothing happened…”

Yihan, who was acting like a disgruntled child, was stunned in an instant. He finally realized how he had asked a shameless question to Hwawoon again. It was none other than himself who made Hwawoon believe that the emperor would come to Jeongan Palace only if he had a reason.

No words can justify one’s actions. It was the moment when the majestic emperor realized what it meant for the first time. 

That’s how relationships between people work. Once fixed in a certain direction, it is very difficult to change the direction later, and to do so, sometimes it takes more time and effort than it has passed, and even if it does change, no one can guarantee that the relationship will change as perfectly as desired. 

However, Yihan has never had such a concern in his life. The reason was he was the Emperor. The emperor had the power to instantly change it in the direction he wanted, no matter how twisted it was or how advanced it was.

Even if someone had been misunderstood by the emperor for decades and suffered unfair hardships, how many people can refuse the emperor’s words, saying that he has misunderstood and hope that their relationship will be restored now.

Even if they could have complaints inside, they could never say those in front of the Emperor; I can’t forgive you yet, and I don’t want to return to the close relationship as you want. Therefore, Yihan was a person who had never regretted the relationship he had broken up with.

Furthermore, if that person was none other than Yeon Hwawoon. Yihan honestly thought that the punishment was too weak compared to what Hwawoon had done all this time. There was nothing he considered regrettable about his relationship with Hwawoon except that he should not have entered the palace as a concubine in the first place.

Thus, Yihan was very confused by what he was feeling now. The moment Hwawoon said that — the Emperor would never come to Jeongan Palace except to blame me, he would never come to Jeongan Palace for trivial reasons, such as wanting to have a small chat, a cup of tea, or to see me — the moment he faced Hwawoon, who was sure of it, his hurt was numb somewhere, and he couldn’t breathe. 

Of course, Yeon Hwawoon didn’t exactly say ‘come to blame me,’ but Yihan was sure the meaning inside it was that. 

“So, what I want to say is…”

Yihan hesitated to continue his words. This was due to the fact that he had not yet organized how to explain this feeling he was feeling now. 

Did he regret it? No. Yihan did not regret all his actions to punish Yeon Hwawoon in the past. Yeon Hwawoon of that time was very vicious and deserved to be punished.

It was the same for he couldn’t easily believe Yeon Hwawoon when he changed. It was Yeon Hwawoon, who always chose the bad choice even though there were many chances before, always betraying Yihan’s expectations. It was natural to not believe such a person changed right away, so it was not right to regret not believing him back then at this moment.

Even so, even if he knew all that.

It was a curious thing why Yihan couldn’t easily face Hwawoon, who silently dealt with all of it as if he knew it as well. Still, I shouldn’t be so harsh on the person who wants to change. It was a wonder why such a thought came back every now and then even though he said he didn’t regret it. 

“What I’m trying to say is… Didn’t I say I’ll see you differently now?” 

After choosing his words for a long time, Yihan finally opened his mouth. 

“So, from now on… you and I… just like a normal…” 

However, Yihan immediately realized that something was wrong with what he was saying. 

“Like an ordinary emperor and his concubine…” 

What followed was even worse. He couldn’t take back the words he had already said, and he had to end it somehow, but he couldn’t think of the words.

Like an ordinary emperor and his concubine, what on earth does this mean? Basically, the relationship between the emperor and the concubine is not just a normal relationship. What could happen in the relationship between the emperor and the concubine is to eat occasionally or drink tea at most, and except for such collateral things, the most important thing is to share a bed.