The Reason I Keep Avoiding My Childhood Friend

What should we talk about today? Still, do I have to keep meeting Father like this from now on? Will this encounter really last? Will there be no need to wait for Father?

…..Let’s stop thinking about it. I thought of it now, he was asking to meet me now, but at some point, he might postpone the meeting because he was busy again. Then the meeting itself will be completely forgotten. I trampled on the hope that was about to sprout so that it could not grow at all.

It hurts so much when I expect and get hurt. Emotions that I thought were okay burst out. Then it’s hard to deal with. It was better not to expect that.

Anyway, my heart was heavy because I had to meet Father right away. My head felt like it was going to explode as I thought about what kind of conversation I would have to start to satisfy Father.

I don’t even know what Father likes. I don’t have any knowledge in the first place, so wouldn’t I be scolded for bringing up a clumsy topic? I think I’ll look even worse even if I say something useless. I didn’t have any thoughts that were good. It was proof that I felt a great distance from Father.

Maybe that’s why, even though I knew that the little child had arrived, my mind went blank at the thought of having a conversation with Father.

“…”

“Huh?”

I thought I heard the little child’s voice, so I finally came to my senses.

“I’m done eating. Can I go now?”

Looking at the table, she really ate it all. She eats really well by herself. Today I didn’t have time to care about the little child.

“Yes. You can go.”

“What’s going on?”

For some reason, I felt a little better because the little child asked me out of worry.

“What’s going on? Did you get scolded?”

I was just about to feel better, what do you see me as?

“Not scolded! I’m not scolded!”

Do you think that I’m such a troublemaker? I am not a child! I shouted loudly and denied it.

“Of course, the Grand Prince won’t be scolded. I’m glad you’re okay. Then I’ll go.”

“Hey!”

Then the little child got up without any regrets, so I had to shout out loud.

“Shall I sit down again?”

She looks at me with eyes telling me to just talk. Come on, that’s very mean. When I nodded, the little child sat down again. I quickly asked her.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“With me?”

I really didn’t know, so I thought I’d get angry again.

“How can you just go right away?”

“I don’t think you want to talk.”

“Ugh!”

She just replied with a blank face, making me really speechless. It’s complicated to think of Father, but the little child keeps bothering me. I don’t have time to fight with this little child? As I looked at the little child dissatisfied, a good idea struck me.

Come to think of it, isn’t there a person in front of me in a similar situation? Sir Hertman was a hard-headed, straightforward man, no less blunt than my father. Even the little child must be thinking about what to say when she has a conversation with her father. So in the end, I grabbed the little child and asked her.

“…what did you talk about with Father?”

I became nervous at the sight of the little child staring at me nervously.

“Talked with your father?”

“Yes. What did you talk about with Father and Captain Hertman?”

My hands trembled. It still trembled even though I clasped my hands tightly. The little child can talk well with Father, so she’ll have no qualms with Captain Hertman too. I wish I could talk to Father just like that little child. Surely there must be some special secret?

“I’m just talking about what happened that day. In today’s case, I came here and had tea time. I ate delicious meringue cookies with rosemary tea. Such a common story.”

However, the story that the little child told was too empty.

“You’re only talking about that?”

“It’s a conversation between a father and a daughter. It doesn’t have to be special.”

“Really?”

Did she really talk about that with her father? Why? It doesn’t help at all. I wonder if Father would have liked to hear such a story. I ate snacks with the little child today, it’s good if Father doesn’t ask why I say that.

“Are you worried about spending time with the Grand Duke?”

The little child is very quick to notice. She figured everything out.