The Scum Shou’s Survival Guide

How much I love you, how much I hate you now.

You make me feel sick.

Lu Xiuwen stood there, these two words constantly echoed in his ears, he looked at Ye Hao’s indifferent expression, this moment, as if the last scene of Ye Yi’s departure from him was reappearing... He looked at him like this and told him that he made him feel sick.

Then turned and left and never came back.

Lu Xiuwen has been unable to figure this out. I don't understand why Ye Hao can betray him like this, and he can say such things relentlessly.

Now he seems to finally understand.

But it is because Ye Hao loves him.

Maybe Ye Hao of the last world loved him silently, even if they were not the kind of relationship, but the child still cares about him... so after learning the so-called 'truth' in Song Qinkou, he simply bears I can't live with this result, I can't accept that my favorite person has such a thought to him, not only deeply love his mother, but also regard him as a substitute for his mother.

So he hates him.

Lu Xiuwen slightly opened his mouth, revealing a bleak smile, such a simple answer... He thought for two lifetimes, and now I want to understand.

How can the feelings of the past ten years be easily erased? If Ye Hao really doesn't care about him, how can this world be so easily fooled by him? Fall in love with him so easily? The love of one person alone is not at all a means to control.

Ye Hao loves him because he loves him originally, instead of using his own means to make him fall in love with him...

[叮, Lu Xiuwen blackening value -20, current blackening value 10]

Lu Xiuwen closed his eyes, and the depths of the black scorpion were endless painful colors. He thought he was doing something wrong.

It is a mistake to use such means to obtain Ye Hao. If he does not use the mean means, but is more sincere, say that he likes to go to Gu Xueya, and sincerely express his heart to Ye Hao, then Song. When Qin said the words again... Is Ye Hao more willing to believe him, instead of being deceived again? Misunderstanding him?

Just because he made a wrong choice, this time he was born again, he went back and went back to his place, and nothing was recovered.

But he has no way to prove his mind, this is a proposition without a solution.

Lu Xiuwen looked at Ye Hao. The pain in the depths of his eyes was dark as an abyss, but his expression was calm and the tone was soothing. He just said, "I know."

I know how much you hate me, but I still can't let you go.

Lu Xiuwen walked over and gently touched Ye Hao’s head, his voice was low: “It’s time to eat.”

Ye Hao did not resist Lu Xiuwen's actions, nor refused. He simply stepped down the stairs and did not give Lu Xiuwen any chance to continue to force him. It seemed very smooth.

Since rebellion is meaningless, what else do you do? Just to express your unyielding?

No need, he has already said what he said.

Lu Xiuwen looked down at his own hand and just touched the person he loved. Now he does have him, but he can be said to have lost him because the child will never again be like him. A bright smile will not look at him like he used to be so admired.

In his eyes, he was just a demon who forced him to disregard his will.

..................

Ye Hao did not try to escape from here, he would eat and sleep, and he would not talk or talk, and occasionally Lu Xiuwen would not resist when he kissed him, but he would sleep with his eyes closed.

Lu Xiuwen looked at him like this, and he couldn't bear to force him. He didn't do anything too much for him. He was very compliant with him, but he was only allowed to go out.

Lu Xiuwen feels very weak about such Ye Hao. Ye Hao is weak, innocent, and somewhat childish. It is reasonable to say that he is not afraid at all. It may be that this is a weak presence in his eyes. It is the only one in his world that can never be defeated. The presence.

He can't even get his pity.

During this time, Lu Xiuwen never laughed at the company. The company was frightened and shocked. He could see that his boss was in a bad mood recently, but did not hear anything big? What happened to the boss so troubled?

Lu Xiuwen did not care about how others looked at him. His mind was on Ye Hao. After the day, he would not stop doing more. He refused the invitation of several other vice presidents and went straight to the lane: "Go home."

The driver Li Shu could not help but sigh and said: "Lu, if the young master really does not want to, let him go."

Lu Xiuwen's face was a little white, and there was a thick tiredness under his eyes. His thin lips were slightly open, and a very low self-deprecating laughter was heard. Silence said: "You also think, should I let go?"

Lao Li has been with Lu Xiuwen for many years. It is very clear that Lu Xiuwen loves Ye Hao, but Ye Hao does not believe Lu Xiuwen. If he continues this way, there will be no result.

He said: "I just think that you are not the way."

Lu Xiuwen closed his eyes and sat on the back seat. His hands crossed over his abdomen, his eyes condensed, and there was a painful color. He didn't understand this. He didn't understand that there would be no result in this... He didn't know, he should let go.

But letting go of this matter is easier said than done.

..................

Ye Hao is lying at home to sleep. He is a reincarnation of the sleeping god. Although he can't go out, he still goes to sleep at home all day. As a modern family of gods, he doesn't go out for a month.

[Ye Ye: This day is too leisurely, although I really want to go on like this, but the blackening value does not move, hehe. 】

[888: The words you said in the last life have been washed, but there are still 10 points left in the blackening value. 】

[Ye Wei: No way, my uncle is really reconciled. I just don't believe that he loves him. He must misunderstand him. It is normal to have a blackening value...]

[888: Hehe...]

[Ye Ye: So, things have returned to the original point! After washing the things of the world, how can I change my heart and believe in my uncle's love~! 】

[888:......]

[Ye Ye: I used to play too hard, now I am looking for a difficult step under my own QAQ]

[888: Hehehehehehe] Such a spicy chicken is still living in the world, it is really a scourge for thousands of years.

[Ye Wei: How can I create an opportunity for him to show his heart QAQ]

[888:......]

Ye Hao felt that she didn't get up until noon, didn't eat breakfast, and went downstairs in her pajamas and slippers. Because the house was long, the color was not very good recently, and the younger one was looked like a hollowed out wine.

He sat in the living room for a while, and it was not long before Lu Xiuwen came back.

Lu Xiuwen saw Ye Hao, the action was slightly paused, then walked over and sat next to him, Wensheng asked: "What do you want to eat today?"

Ye Haomu turned his head and looked at Lu Xiuwen. His lips were pale, his blackness was dull, and he did not speak.

Lu Xiuwen looked at his expression, and he couldn't add to his heart. He forced his favorite person to be like this.

This meal is as usual. Lu Xiuwen is worried that Ye Hao has been sick for too long at home. He is going to take him out to walk around. This is his private land nearby. There is no one, no worry about Ye Hao. escape.

However, Ye Hao refused. He just looked at Lu Xiuwen coldly and said with a hoarse voice: "I am tired, I don't want to move."

After I finished talking, I went to the building.

Lu Xiuwen shut him up to raise him, like a kitten and a puppy? When he went out, he was kept at home. When he came back, he took him out for a walk. He didn't need Lu Xiwen's ridiculous thoughtfulness. He was a person.

Lu Xiuwen looked at Ye Hao's back and stood in the same place. His eyes were tired and weak, and he was silent for a long time. He finally followed up, and Ye Hao had already gone to bed.

Lu Xiuwen changed his clothes and lay aside and gently put Ye Hao in his arms and said, "If you don't want to move, you won't move."

Ye Hao did not seem to hear the eyes closed. The man's arms were as warm as ever, and the voice was as gentle as ever, as if he were his favorite person.

But not... he loves him not at all.

I can't escape from it. I have to face this kind of torture every day. I am trapped by this person. I can never forget how he treated himself. He reminded himself of his identity day after day.

He wants to pretend not to care, but really really can't keep going, what does it mean to live like this.

Ye Hao suddenly opened his eyes and gently took Lu Xiuwen's hand and walked into the bathroom.

He closed the door and glanced intently at the bathroom. A few days ago, his nanny did not pay attention to quietly hiding a fruit knife here. No one found it. At that time, he took the knife and had an urge to end his life strongly and leave the hopeless world.

But he didn't get started.

But now this impulse has come out violently, like a wild grass. He finds the knife he has hidden from the gap under the washstand, and stares at his thin wrist for a long time, looking at the blue color above. Blood vessels, the color of despair in the eyes.

Cut it down and kill yourself, you can get rid of it all.

Is there anything that can't be left in this world? No, you should go see your mom and dad, they won't be like this to you.

..................

Lu Xiuwen woke up when he got up from Ye Hao. He didn’t fall asleep, just pretending to be asleep... because he didn’t want Ye Hao to see him unhappy, the child’s silence made him feel bad, he couldn’t force him. Too tight.

He knows that Ye Hao went to the bathroom, so he waited outside. Usually, Ye Hao often wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. He will stay in it for a long time. Occasionally there is a very low sob. Lu Xiuwen does not even open the door. I am afraid to bother him.

Only this time has been particularly long, and Ye Hao has not been inside.

Lu Xiuwen was not an indecisive person, but this time he was hesitant to even push the door. He was afraid of disturbing Ye Hao and worried about embarrassing him.

So Lu Xiuwen waited for a while, but there was still no movement in the bathroom. In the end, he worried that he would overcome everything. Lu Xiuwen stood up and knocked on the door gently. There was no response inside, and quietness was like no one.

Lu Xiuwen did not know why there was an ominous premonition in his heart. He finally opened the door and changed his face in the next moment.

Ye Hao lay in the bathtub, blood ran down his wrist and reddened the ground.

This scene made Lu Xiuwen look awkward and almost failed to stand still. The whole world seemed to collapse a little. He rushed to the ground and pulled his clothes tightly to tie Ye Hao’s wrist. He hugged him. Go on.

He is holding a fragile person who seems to disappear at any time, even if he still holds him, this moment also really feels that this person is about to disappear into his world.

Why should he hesitate, why not go in and see?

Lu Xiuwen has never hated himself so much.

Ye Hao was sent to the hospital for rescue. The doctor said that if he was a little later, he would not be able to save it.

Lu Xiuwen stood a cigarette outside the ward. He usually did not smoke. But this time the cigarette hand was shaking slightly. Ye Hao almost died... If he had to watch him die, he still It is better to let him live in a corner of the world.

He understood this in his heart, but it seemed to be a painful pain.

Lu Xiuwen took a deep breath and threw the cigarette **** into the trash can and turned into the ward.

Ye Hao slept there, his brow slightly picked up, it seemed not very happy, Lu Xiuwen gently grabbed his hand, the young fingers were slender and slender, and the nails were round and beautiful, this pair of hands that did not do things, just like him. The same, beautiful and delicate and innocent, he was very well cared for.

He wants to love this person all his life and care for this person, but a misunderstanding has destroyed it.

Distrust is the biggest obstacle between them.

Lu Xiuwen bowed his head, his lips gently pressed against Ye Hao's fingers, Ye Hao's fingers were a little cold, there was no temperature, just like when he was holding him... Lu Xiuwen's eyes were deep and sorrowful.

Just then Ye Hao sent a very light voice: "Uncle..."

Lu Xiuwen's movements were stiff, and there was a trace of embarrassment in his eyes. But when he looked up, he found that Ye Hao didn't wake up, his eyes were still closed, and he should be talking.

Realizing this, Lu Xiuwen actually had the feeling of the rest of his life. He didn’t know how to face Ye Hao at the moment.

Fortunately, Ye Hao did not wake up.

Lu Xiuwen responded with a dumb voice: "I am."

Ye Hao’s lips moved slightly, and the expression on her face seemed to be a little sad and not very stable. “Uncle...”

"Uncle, I like you very much..."

"Why are you not loving me..."

Lu Xiuwen listened to this sentence, and his eyes seemed to be feverish. He said seriously: "I love you, you are always you."

I think I should let go, know that you still love me, I should be satisfied.

[叮, Lu Xiuwen blackening value -5, current blackening value 5]

..................

Ye Hao woke up the next day, slightly over the head, and saw Lu Xiuwen sitting on the sofa in the ward, closing his eyes seemed to be resting.

Ye Hao looked down at his wrist wrapped in gauze and sat up with his body. He remembered that he was committing suicide, but it seemed to be unsuccessful. Also... Lu Xiuwen would not allow him to die? He is in control of his own life and death.

Lu Xiuwen slept very shallowly. He heard the movement and opened his eyes. There seemed to be an indescribable powerlessness in the deep black scorpion. After a long time, he stood up and said, "You wake up."

Ye Hao’s expression did not change, just watching him coldly.

This look stung Lu Xiwen, he thought he was used to it, but in fact, he could never get used to it.

Lu Xiuwen looked up at the watch and it was not too late. He paused and said, "You have a good rest."

After turning around, I went out.

When Ye Hao was asleep, he was not willing to leave for a minute or two. He just wanted to see this person again in the end. He didn’t know how he fell asleep when he sat there last night. It was probably too tired, but the leaves. Woke up... he can't wait.

In fact, he should have understood it for a long time. This kind of insistence is meaningless. However, despite his determination, the sentence has not been spoken.

Not at the last moment, it is not willing to return.

Ye Hao lived in the hospital for a few days, and there were nurses looking after the day, because it was just too much blood loss. It would be good to raise some days, not a big deal.

Lu Xiuwen will only come over when Ye Hao is resting at night, and will not appear during the day.

After a few more days, the doctor finally told Lu Xiuwen that Ye Hao could be discharged from the hospital. When Lu Xiuwen got the news, his heart was over. This is the most difficult decision he has ever made in his life, but he can no longer Hesitant.

He came to the hospital again during the day and said to Ye: "You can leave the hospital."

Ye Hao nodded blankly, and he changed his clothes when he got out of bed. Lu Xiuwen suddenly said, "I will help you."

He took Ye Hao’s clothes and gently helped him to change it. Another grain helped him buckle the button. He suddenly remembered that when Ye Hao was still very young, he also took care of him personally. At that time, he was only one. The child, Lu Xiuwen does not know that he has been in this family for so many years... He will fall in love with this child and cannot extricate himself.

He has struggled to blame himself for this, full of uneasiness and embarrassment, afraid that Gu Xueya will blame him...

I think this should not be.

Later, sure enough, there was no good result.

Lu Xiuwen let go of his hand and said, "Let's go."

He and Ye Hao walked to the hospital door, one hand in his pocket, and there was a bank card he had prepared for Ye Hao, but Lu Xiuwen knew that Ye Hao would not accept it, which made him feel painful and let this The state of Ye Hao is such a person to leave, how can he be assured?

But he is not allowed to leave, he is even more unbearable.

Probably because of hesitation, Lu Xiuwen's expression looks a bit serious, and the mandible is chilly.

For a long time, Ye Hao was the first to leave the cold and empty land, standing on the bustling streets of the crowd, people coming and going in front of them, the traffic was surging.

It is like a prison from a lonely and desperate prison, returning to the world full of anger, so that he misses.

But he knew that it was going to end soon. Lu Xiuwen would take him back to that house and shut it up again, so that he could only live in that small place without seeing the sky, waiting for his reception every day. Can only stay with him alone.

He doesn't want to go back to the days when life is not as good as death.

He doesn't want to go back.

The traffic in front of him moved again, and swiftly passed from the front of Ye Hao, Ye Hao suddenly did not know where the courage, suddenly rushed out to the road!

Lu Xiuwen’s fingers clung to the bank card. He knew that he should make a decision. In any case, let Ye Hao leave and say, but before he opened his mouth, he saw Ye Hao rushing to the road!

At this moment, Lu Xiuwen’s heart was raised in an instant. He didn’t think anything in his mind, and his body’s reaction was even faster than his thoughts! Rushing over and grabbing Ye Hao’s wrists and slamming back!

The next moment, I felt the familiar feeling of being hit. I seemed to fly out, some lost weight, but the pain came a bit slow, and I waited until I fell to the ground, only to feel the feeling of being broken.

Just like last world, it feels not so strange.

Ye Hao stayed on the ground, Lu Xiuwen took him, slammed him on the side of the circuit, and then he was hit by a car. It all seemed to happen in an instant, making him unable to react.

How is this going……

After hitting the flying vehicle, the vehicle crashed into the guardrail in the middle of the road because of the sharp steering wheel. The traffic jammed and the nearby people rushed over. The police and ambulances quickly came over.

Ye Xie looked at Lu Xiuwen lying in a pool of blood. He finally got up from the ground and walked over. When he reached out and touched it, he touched the blood of Lu Xiuwen. Suddenly, he was terrified. Will his uncle die?

He thought of it, tears fell uncontrollably.

Why is this, he doesn't want this...

Lu Xiuwen has not completely lost consciousness. He saw Ye Hao crying. He instinctively wants to reach out and help him wipe his tears, but he can't lift his hands. He has no strength. Finally, his lips move and his voice is low and dumb. "Don't cry, Nothing..."

Ye Hao listened to Lu Xiuwen's gentle voice. Even if this was the case, he was still worried about him, and the tears flowed even more fiercely.

Lu Xiuwen seems to be so helpless with such a leafhopper, the more he cried, but let him be cold, regardless of him, he can't do it. But in the future, if he is not with him, he will not feel so embarrassed, no one will make him cry.

If you are destined to be unable to own this person, let go.

This simple truth, he actually spent so long to understand, he is too selfish and conceited, love a person can not want to get the means, trapped around their own ... but some people really do not want to stay, Can stay.

Just as he has no way to leave Ye Hao.

The two worlds are heavy, he can only lose him...

This is fate.

Lu Xiuwen smiled and said: "Let's go, I won't shut you again... cough..." He felt **** in his throat, but he still wanted to speak this sentence.

"Actually, I just wanted to... tell you, your child... why bother?"

So arrogant, impulsive, innocent... let me rest assured that you live alone in this world.

Lu Xiuwen felt very sad. He had a lot of embarrassing words, but he was not qualified to say that he could not even return to the past and just take care of him as his elders.

Lu Xiuwen's gaze gradually became blurred. He saw Ye Hao crying and crying, and he felt very sorry in his heart, and his voice became lighter and lighter.

"I'm sorry...but you have never been...anyone...the avatar..."