The Stars In Your Eyes

Yu Dong felt like he's ageing so fast in the last two months. Getting through midterm exams while doing your final project is surely one thing he doesn't want to repeat ever again. But then Yu Dong remember they still have the final exam, and he shuddered to imagine it.

The three of them feel the pressure of doing their final project. They start to spend more and more time in the studio compared to their own dorm. Yu Dong planned to buy a sleeping bag like many of the seniors here. Living in the studio seems like a better option compared to wasting time going back to their dorm.

"Yu Dong, your girlfriend looking for you."

Yu Dong turned his heavy head, and saw Mu Xiaoya waving her hand from the entrance.

"Xiaoyaaaa…"

Now every time Yu Dong looked at Mu Xiaoya, he could see the wings and halo above her head.. Especially when he saw Mu Xiaoya bring lunch for him and those two ungrateful bastards. He already told his angelic girlfriend not to bring a lunch box or dinner for them, but his girlfriend is just too kind.

"Mmm, come gege. Please have your lunch first. I just brought fried chicken and rice today, is that okay for you?"

"Um, anything is fine." Yu Dong put his pitiful face upfront, it was good to be pampered by your girlfriend.

Those two ungrateful bastards did not even need to be summoned. They seem to have 'Xiaoya radar' on their nose. Every time his girlfriend appears, they will instantly show up and voraciously eat the meal prepared by his girlfriend.

Yu Dong was eating his lunch solemnly, he needed to appreciate every grain of rice. The rice was brought by his angelic girlfriend. He was so lucky to have a girlfriend like Mu Xiaoya.

Then he remembered last night they turned off Bai Yutang's request to have dinner with them for the nth time.

"I don't feel good because we couldn't accompany TangTang yesterday. Should we have dinner with him today? What if he skips his lunch again?"

Liu Xiang chewed his chicken with rage, "And today another bastard asked me whether the rumour is true. I told them that it was not TangTang in that picture, but they just won't listen."

Tang Yuxuan was the least person among them being asked with that question, because he'll violently answer with his fist or vicious bark. He didn't even try to hide the rage within his voice. "This is all because that bastard wolf!"

Mu Xiaoya listened to this kind of conversation for almost two months. Surprisingly the rumour didn't go down fast like she expected. She feels bad listening to those malicious comments about her gentle senior. But she could only deny it.

And she also felt bad every time Tang Yuxuan badmouthed Jian Kang Lu. The worst thing is she knows the truth and she can't say anything to defend those two. It seems her ship already sunk deep on the bottom of the Mariana trench1. No hope at all.

"But it seems TangTang hasn't heard about the rumour."

"I'll punch the one who dares to ask TangTang about that. He was the… Ouch!!!"

Tang Yuxuan swore every inch of his arms now filled with bruises from Liu Xiang's pinches. He knew Liu Xiang always bullied him every time he almost ran his tongue loose about what happened that day. They already agreed to pretend that the man in that picture was not Bai Yutang. As if that disgusting thing never happened.

"Um, I'm glad if they didn't ask TangTang about that. I worried about him. Since that last Christmas he was never coming back to his usual self. He seems.. I don't know. Empty?"

Liu Xiang nodded his head, agreed with Yu Dong's comment. Yu Dong honestly worried about his ex-roommate. How he wished they could be roommates again, so maybe he could help Bai Yutang this time. But even though they became roommates again, he could not help Bai Yutang much, since he was also busy with his final project.

Yu Dong will never forget, it was Bai Yutang who stays on his side when he almost has a mental breakdown in their first year. It was Bai Yutang who covered for his sketches task even though Bai Yutang himself also drowned in their first year projects. Without Bai Yutang, he might choose to drop out.

"What if we gather on TangTang's birthday this Wednesday, and let's have a small party. We can sneak some beers to our room, and you bring some cake." Liu Xiang threw his suggestion to Yu Dong. They agreed immediately, and texting Bai Yutang in their group.

"Yeah, and let TangTang know that he still has us here. No need to be sad, especially no need to think about that stinky wolf done to him."

When those two ungrateful bastards finished their lunch and left them alone, Mu Xiaoya suddenly said to him. "I didn't agree with Tang Ge's opinion. I didn't think Jian Ge was that bad, he didn't deserve all that tongue-lashing."

Yu Dong ruffling his girlfriend's soft hair. She was so cute when she pouted her mouth. "I know. I don't know what happened between them. I believe it was some kind of misunderstanding. But honestly, I'm so curious about what happened. It was very unusual to see TangTang mad at someone to this degree."

Mu Xiaoya stared at the empty lunchbox. Yeah, she was also curious.

———

"Happy birthday TangTang!!!"

Three of them popped the confetti gun when their skinny friend appeared. Yu Dong was relieved to see his friend's pale face tinted with some colours. It has been a long time since he saw his friend's face flushed like this.

"Come TangTang, blew the candle! Make a wish!"

Bai Yutang laughed, his voice finally had some excitement after being flat for these few months. "Thank you. This humble slave was really touched. You guys really prepare a lot."

Yu Dong didn't know what Bai Yutang wished. It must be something he really desired, since his face was filled with aspiration, yet sorrowful at the same time.

"Come TangTang, let's eat the cake." Tang Yuxuan presents their hidden treasure from under the bed, whispering. "And we also will drink until wasted tonight. Let's just forget those damn final projects for tonight!"

"This humble slave knows that daddy didn't bring these beers for me, it actually for yourself."

They laughed, and drank so much that night. Yu Dong was not a heavy drinker, he sipped his beer slowly. He could only drink two cans of beer. More than that, he'll get drunk. He noticed Bai Yutang didn't eat much. He sighed inside his heart, his skinny friend was hollow-cheeked now. 

It's almost 10 o'clock when Yu Dong realise Bai Yutang keep drinking and drinking. He was feeling uneasy. His skinny friend was not someone that enjoy being drunk. So why tonight he drink like this? He could see Bai Yutang's eyes unfocused and glossy.

Suddenly his heart jumped when he heard Bai Yutang talk.

"Why didn't you guys tell me about that post in the forum? Why didn't you ask?"

Yu Dong was seriously sweating, he was never someone who was good with his words. He looked at Liu Xiang, the best speaker among them.

Liu Xiang held Tang Yuxuan, preventing him from speaking. "We just know that it was not true. Why need to think about something unnecessary like that. Come TangTang, don't mind those gossips."

Yu Dong felt goosebumps when he heard Bai Yutang laugh. Has his friend finally had a mental breakdown?? Why did he laugh? Yu Dong could hear his own voice shaking while he spoke.

"Yeah, d-don't mind about that TangTang. Tho-those gossip doesn't matter."

Bai Yutang laughed even louder. Yu Dong almost jumped when Bai Yutang was laughing until he almost knocked his head to the bedstead.

"Ah.. Ah.. So funny. I haven't laughed like this for months."

Yu Dong is really concerned about Bai Yutang more than ever. What happened to his gentle friend?

Yu Dong could see his skinny friend still laughing, and drink his beer again. Yu Dong raises his hand, wanting to prevent this man from drinking more. He was already drunk now, and Yu Dong never saw Bai Yutang drunk like this.

"You didn't even ask me what the funny thing was. I guess you already know. What they wrote in that forum was true. It was me."

Tang Yuxuan snapped. "That was not true! Daddy knows the truth. I was there that time, when that bastard forced you! We won't blame you, he was the rotten one. Disgusting! Why do you have to be like this because of that bastard? You're innocent!"

Yu Dong doesn't know what kind of expression he showed right now. What? What did he just hear? He could see Bai Yutang's face flustered.

"So you guys saw? And you didn't ask me anything?"

"Why should we? We didn't want to force you. We could not imagine what kind of horror you went through because of that bastard. So please TangTang, don't be like this." 

Liu Xiang held Tang Yuxuan back. He could see Bai Yutang's expression was not right.

"Yeah, this is all my fault. I was the stupid one here." Bai Yutang's voice trembling, not matched with his smiling face. As if he mocked himself with sorrow and regret.

"TangTang!" Tang Yuxuan shouted.

"I guess i had to make myself clear. What I meant with my words before was not only about the picture. But what they wrote in that forum. It was true. I like man. And Jian Ge was my boyfriend."

Yu Dong almost can't believe what he heard. And when he saw Tang Yuxuan's face, he bet it must be worse than him right now.

"He was my boyfriend. I love him so much. But i was so stupid, and now i lost him."

Yu Dong lost for words. He saw tears running from Bai Yutang's eyes. His skinny friend's expression hurts him. That smile plastered in his friend's face was so pitiful. That was a face from a heartbroken man.

"I lost him. I.. I lost him. And now he'll never come back to me. Because i'm so stupid. Worthless and stupid."

Yu Dong raised his arms and hugged those skinny shoulders who were shaking violently. He could feel his own shirt damped from Bai Yutang's tears. "Shh.. Shh.. TangTang, it's okay. Don't cry."

"What.. What? Wait, he didn't force himself to you? I-I.. I thought, he forced himself on you.." Tang Yuxuan's voice was also shaking. 

"No. He didn't force me. He never forced me. He.. He was the best lover someone could have. How could you think that Jian Ge is capable of forcing someone? He was so kind. And I love him so much. So much.. But because I'm selfish, he got tired of me. That night was the last time I met him.. And i told him that i hate him.. And.. Now I lost him.. And I missed him so much."

"Shh.. TangTang.." Yu Dong's heart wrenched to hear his friend's gentle voice hoarsely saying those words over and over again, with tears which can't be stopped, falling like waterfall, endlessly, from his skinny friend's eyes.

They could only hear the sound from Bai Yutang's tears filling the room. Then after some time passed, Tang Yuxuan spoke with a shaking voice. It was low, but they can hear him clearly.

"I.. I'm sorry TangTang.. I don't know. I really don't know. I thought he was forcing himself on you, stalking you. I.. I.. I met him after that day. He.. He was waiting for you in front of our dorm. I.. I extrude him. I told him I will call the police if he was dare to come here again looking for you."

Yu Dong really thinks that today was a very surprising night for him. He felt he could never forget this night for the rest of his life. He could feel Bai Yutang suddenly stop crying.

"What? What did you say to him? You threaten Jian Ge?" Looking at Tang Yuxuan nodded his head, Bai Yutang's voice was full of disbelief. "What else did you say to him?"

"I.. I lied to him. I just want to scare him, to make him stop coming here. I thought he was stalking on you. I said that you told us that he forced himself to you. And.. And I told him that..that he was disgusting. I'm so sorry TangTang, I truly am. I didn't know."