The Stars In Your Eyes

Jian Kang Lu has loved to read since toddler. He has known letters and numbers since three years old. He can read simple books at four years old. When he's going for his first day at elementary school, his teacher loves him so much. He can read all his text books fluently, he can memorise multiplication tables up to 100, and he's not as naughty as other boys his age.

He read everything. Comic book, fairy tales, heroes tales, encyclopaedia, biography, self help book, fashion magazine, travelling guide, everything.

It shapes his personality today. He was inspired by all the successful biography books he read before. When he's in junior high school, he loves Edison's quote the most.

'I have not yet failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work..''

He believes every hard work will pay well. All his life, he's trying his best in everything. Including his love life. But then he found that someday hard work is not enough. Even though you're working hard and doing your best, the relationship between humans is not like one plus one always equal to two. He learned his lesson well.

So today, even though he wants to spend his birthday with his kitten, he doesn't want to ask his kitten to celebrate it with him. He doesn't know how to ask. He also will feel awkward if some old stranger asks him to spend his birthday together.

He knew he was too old. 36 years old today.

His kitten is so young. Just 21 years old..

He doesn't know his kitten well.

He doesn't even know whether his kitten will want to have a relationship with a man.

He enjoys their relationship so far. He doesn't want to ruin this little happiness by rushing and frightening his kitten. He decided if someday his kitten realised his feelings and was willing to open his heart for him, he would treat his kitten as best as he could. But he can't even imagine whether such a beautiful day will come.

After their concert date a few days ago, they often chat with each other. Not everyday, but surely the frequency is increasing day by day. The topic of the conversation now is not only about the games, but including the classical music they listened to at the concert last time, or some old inside jokes about the T university. Sometimes they also talk about his kitten daily lives and interests.

His kitten has been busy lately. He's having some mid semester project to present at the end of this semester. His project inspiration comes from the hotpot restaurant interior design when they visited last time. He chose a restaurant as his project while most of his friends choose house or school. He told him that some of his friends bravely choose a sports stadium or museum as their project. It's really a tough one.

Jian Kang Lu then offered to take him into a different restaurant style for his project. Song Lixia, Luo Yan's wife, has a famous Italian restaurant in the city. His kitten can see all the details inside if he wants, including kitchen and maintenance area too. His kitten asks whether it was convenient for him. Of course he said it's okay. They agreed to go in another 2 weeks. His kitten is still having mid term tests next week.

After having confirmation, Jian Kang Lu thought to try his luck. He asks his kitten to accompany him watching movies before they're going to the restaurant. There will be a superhero movie premiered at that time. His kitten surprisingly agreed to his request. Jian Kang Lu feels like using a dirty trick. Offering some help for his project first then after that his kitten will feel bad for rejecting his request.

He decided to give his kitten a best restaurant study tour. He calls Song Lixia to ask her permission for doing research in her restaurant. Song Lixia was surprised to hear that, and teased him, "Ahhh.. Jian Ge, why using excuses like that to have a date in my restaurant. Do you need me to arrange the roses inside with some musician to sing privately for you and your partner too?".

He laughs and warns her mildly that this is not a date. This is pure research for his junior. He doesn't want his kitten to get the 'wrong' idea if suddenly Song Lixia and Luo Yan show up there at their dinner time and tease him with his kitten. 

He knows Song Lixia must be curious. He never asks for special requests every time he visits her restaurant. He always booked and ordered like a regular customer without asking for special treatment. Though all her employees know him well and always treat him carefully.

This Saturday morning, Jian Kang Lu is going for his Saturday round as usual. His colleagues surprised him with cakes and sang happy birthday for him. Even the patient also sings with them. He got a lot of gifts from his junior and the nurses in the hospital. Even he got a few flower bouquets.

The cake is round like white moon and has a bunny figure with Chang'e costume on top of the cake. His resident gave him underwear from a high class brand as a gift. The cards said 'Intelligence is like underwear. It is important that you have it but not necessary that you show it off. Though we hope our Chang'e Goddess will see this underwear.'

He laughed and scolded them a bit. He teased them how they even know his underwear size. This Saturday round is so lively. He said thank you for their surprise and gifts. He promised to treat them all next Friday night at a famous Japanese restaurant near the hospital. They all cheer to hear his promise.

His friends called him too. He also promised to have a simple celebration with them next Saturday. Their chat group is already full with dirty birthday wishes. Luo Yan promised to book the restaurant and karaoke room under his name. They threatened him that he must drink until wasted later on his birthday party.

His chat group consists of his friend's wives also. These naughty sister in laws tease him saying they will bring all their single cousins and friends to the birthday party. Jian Kang Lu's friends come from so many different backgrounds. All of them mingle well with each other through Jian Kang Lu.

He decided tonight he will go back to his parents house and have a simple birthday dinner with his parents. He already booked the private room at their favourite Chinese restaurant. He met his parents at the restaurant.

They spent the night well. They talk about the golf tournament held by those retired old men in their house complex. The prize is a two days vacation into a hot spring in the famous place in their city.

His mom talks about the new spa place that she and her friends frequently visit now. Jian Kang Lu teases her that maybe that spa has many handsome young men. Her mother said her son must have someone to follow her because the spa place indeed has many handsome youths.

When they arrived home, he was lying down in his old room at his parent's house. He looks at the ceiling, and feels satisfied with his life. Even though he's a bit lonely, he thankful for everything he had.

He used to spend his birthday with his loved one before. When he spent his first birthday alone 2 years ago, he thought he's so miserable. The sky no longer seems limitless. He feels falling into a dark pit. The tears won't roll down, the fake smiles seem frozen in place. The pain feels like never ending.

But after a while, though he lives his life day by day like a robot, he can see that he's so lucky after all. He had a wonderful family, great friends, stable job, and financially well. He starts to appreciate all the kindness around him more, and repay that kindness back. He learned that in life, never look at your misery, but count your blessing instead.

So he tries to spend more time with his family. Maintaining good relationships with everyone. He'll never know if tomorrow he still can see his parents or not. He'll never know whether tomorrow he can still see his friends, his colleagues, his subordinate, or even his security guard at his apartment.

When you deal with so many dying patients, you will realise that life is too short. You'll never know what will happen tomorrow. He saw too many tears and regret, and too many words 'if'.

If I spent more time with my dad, I'll definitely notice that he was sick before it's too late.

If only I had received my mom's call last night, I could tell her that I love her so much. I didn't know that today she'll leave me forever.

If I treat my brother better like he deserved, he won't be this miserable. I have no idea he will leave this soon.

If I didn't fight with my husband last night, he won't have my curses as my last word to him.

If i support her well, maybe she won't keep her illness from me. I have no idea my wife is this sick.

If only I bought that mobile phone for my son, maybe today I can still hold him.

If I didn't push my daughter to get married, she wouldn't die like this. Alone when her husband cheated on her.

If I didn't scold my junior yesterday, he won't drive home late at night and have that accident.

If only I treated my nanny better, just now I realise she was a lonely old woman.

If.. 

If... 

If....

Time won't turn their hands back. No matter how much you pray, or how big your grievance is, once they pass they won't come back. So Jian Kang Lu lives his life as if he has no tomorrow. Spend his time well with his loved one. Leave no regret when they're gone. And give no regret to them once he is gone.