The Stars In Your Eyes

There's step sounds coming from the stairs. Bai Yutang knows it belongs to Bai Yuren.

"Gege.." Bai Yuren tapped his shoulder. 

Bai Yutang still stares at the closed door. He didn't say anything to reply to his sister's call. He knocked on the door again.

"Mom.." He called again softly.

Bai Yutang wanted to say to his mom, "Let's talk mom. Let me come in. Let me explain." But his throat seems to be burned. He can only call his mom again and again.

He could hear his mom's sobbing coming from behind the door. It seems this door separates their world, a place he couldn't come in. He knew this would happen when he told the truth to his mom. He once simulated so many scenes in his head how he came out to his mother. But none of it included the burst of emotion on New Year's eve.

Bai Yutang still stands and rhythmically knocks on the door, calling his mother again and again.

Bai Yuren shook her head and finally went downstairs. She wants to help her brother, but maybe it's better to let his brother talk to their mother alone first.

It was almost midnight, the year almost turned into a new one. The sobbing gradually reduced to faint sobs, and there's a light step. Bai Yutang breathed deeply.

The door opened, Lu Hua's face was red and puffy. Her hair also turned into a mess. 

Lu Hua sat back on her bed. Bai Yutang wants to sit in the chair, but his legs seem heavy. After a few minutes spent in silence, Bai Yutang walked to face his mother, and kneeled in front of her.

"I'm sorry mom.."

Lu Hua's tears fell again, wetting her dried cheek. The salty water painted her cheek once again.

"Why?" Her voice is hoarse.

Bai Yutang silenced. He could not say anything, he also didn't know why.

"Why don't you try looking for girls first? Let's see if you could change." Lu Hua said. The moment she said this, lots of ideas formed in her head. She needed to contact her friends and introduce a lot of girls to her son. Maybe it's because her son never had a chance to get near to girls before.

"You could try first, talk to them, go on dates, and see whether you could indulge in a normal life. And it would be better if you could move back here." Lu Hua stopped crying and spewing so many suggestions at once.

This time, she regrets opposing her parents when they ask Bai Yutang to move back here. She always thinks her son knows the best since her son is so smart and sensible. But it seems that she was wrong. She needs to watch him closely, not let her son go astray again. 

Soon she started to blame Bai Yutang for going to T university. Maybe if her son never goes away, he will never think that he was a gay.

"Mom.. Mom.." Bai Yutang helplessly listens to her mother's rambling.

"Come, look. This is Old Mao's granddaughter. She's quite okay even though she was not as smart as you. She's very calm and can cook also." Lu Hua shows Bai Yutang Old Mao's family picture on her phone.

"Mom.. Mom.. Mom, I have a boyfriend.." Bai Yutang finally said.

The sound of fireworks penetrate the house's wall. The cheer from the TV downstairs could not be heard, but people outside already clapped their hands, some went outside and cheered for their neighbours, saying happy new year to each other.

It's already a new year, and the first thing Lu Hua heard this year is not a congratulation or wishes to spend a good year ahead. Instead, it was a nightmare.

A creepy thought crawling inside her brain. Her red eyes changed from a pool of grief into fury and rage.

"Boyfriend? Is it Doctor Jian?" She asked.

Bai Yutang deeply inhaled, he noticed how his mother's tone was full of wrath. "Yes, mom. It was him."

Lu Hua was so mad at herself, at her son, at that man he thought was so kind but turns out to be a white eyed wolf.

She almost raises her hand to slap the son in front of him. But even Bai Haoran never hit their child, more over her. Her hands were still hanging in the air, but never could reach his son.

Bai Yutang didn't flinch, he was already prepared. But her mother's hand slowly went down again.

"Get out."

"Mom.." Bai Yutang said again.

"Get out. I don't want to talk to you anymore." Lu Hua said.

Bai Yutang didn't move. He still stubbornly kneels in front of her mother.

"Get out!!!" Lu Hua screamed.

Bai Yutang didn't move until her mother screamed once again. "Mom, let's talk again tomorrow." He then stood up and slowly walked to the door.

In front of the door, Bai Yuren was standing there waiting for them. "Mom, happy new year." She tried to say in a cheerful voice. 

Lu Hua didn't answer.

"Happy new year, gege.." Bai Yuren said in a small voice.

Bai Yutang tried to smile and pat his sister's head. "Happy new year, RenRen. I'm sorry.."

"It's okay." Bai Yuren quickly said.

Bai Yutang and Bai Yuren clean up the dumplings downstairs. No one is in the mood to talk anymore. Bai Yuren wanted to say something, but none of it could be said.

Once in his room, Bai Yutang saw three missed calls from his lover. He called Jian Kang Lu and said happy new year to him and his lover's family.

Jian Kang Lu knows his kitten well, thus when he walked to the kitchen to get another hot water, he asked, "What happened with your voice, baby? Is there something wrong?"

Bai Yutang didn't answer. Jian Kang Lu then asked again, "Do you want to talk about it? If not then it's okay.."

Jian Kang Lu didn't hang up. He listened to his kitten's unsteady breath. He gestured to his parents that he wanted to go upstairs to talk with Bai Yutang. Lin Caihong waved her hands, still busy with entertaining her grandson.

"Have you finished your dumplings? Are you having indigestion, baby? Eat too much? It's good to eat more, but not too much. You easily get bloated." Jian Kang Lu said in a soft soothing tone.

Bai Yutang still didn't answer, but Jian Kang Lu suddenly could guess his kitten was crying over there.

After five minutes crying venting his frustration, Bai Yutang took a deep breath. "I told my mom about us, gege.. I'm sorry, I didn't tell you first.."

Jian Kang Lu was shocked, but then he quickly tried to soothe his kitten. "It's okay.. Don't cry, TangTang.. Do you want me to come tomorrow?"

In Jian Kang Lu's plan, the day his kitten comes out to his mother is the day when he and his kitten are holding hands, kneeling in front of Lu Hua asking for her blessing. It was the day when Jian Kang Lu was the one who spoke, it was the day when Jian Kang Lu bore all the burden.

He sighed inside.. He was annoyed and lost, not because his plan failed, but because he can't stand to let his beloved kitten bear all of this alone.

Once again he let his kitten suffer. Just because his kitten accepted him to be his partner. Just because Jian Kang Lu fell in love with him, and turned that pure young man into the same freak as him. A freak to this society.

"Don't.. No need to come here." Bai Yutang said. He knows even in the New Year, doctors are still busy. Sick people don't recognise holidays. In fact, hospitals are busier after the holiday.

But, he is still happy to hear his lover's gentle and soothing tone.

"Then, I'll come to pick you up. The day after tomorrow, okay? I need to meet your mother too." Jian Kang Lu said.

Bai Yutang was afraid his mother would treat Jian Kang Lu badly, but he also knew his lover was right.

His lover is always right.

The morning comes, the breakfast spent in silence. Lu Hua refused to talk to Bai Yutang even until the families and some guests came to congratulate them.

Bai Yutang's grandparents and his uncle's family of course notice how puffy Lu Hua's eyes are on this day, which is supposed to be a happy day. Lu Hua refused to explain and just gave a stiff smile when her mother and her sister in law asked her.

"What happened with auntie and Yutang Ge?" Bai Yuren's cousin asked. 

"Too much asking will shorten your life." Bai Yuren flicked his head.

The next day, Jian Kang Lu's flight is at noon. He just brings one small luggage with him, and goes to Bai Yutang directly from the airport.

Bai Yutang opened the door for him, and he hugged his lover. Yesterday was really hard for him. Never in his life he received such a cold treatment from his mother.

Jian Kang Lu gave him the things he brought from B city. This is supposed to be the things he imagined to bring when he asked Bai Yutang's family for his hand in marriage. If that auspicious day ever comes in future.

Jian Kang Lu felt ironic. But he still thickened his face and asked Bai Yutang to meet Lu Hua.

Lu Hua heard his son call for her. These days, if there are no guests, Lu Hua will lock herself in her room, stare at her husband's picture.

"Auntie.. Happy new year."

Lu Hua heard that stranger's voice. She recognised that voice and suddenly felt very mad. Her rage is swelling from her heart, and spreads to all of her body. She opened the door fiercely. "Who told you that you could step into this house!" She screamed.

Bai Yutang was standing in front of the door. At first his lover held his hand. But when they arrived in front of his mother's door, Jian Kang Lu released their clapping hands.

Bai Yutang stood there and was surprised to see her mother's face was red and shouting until her lung almost exploded.

"You bastard! How could you poison my son! Get out! Don't ever show your despicable face in front of me!" Lu Hua shouted once more. "I didn't conceive TangTang in my stomach for 9 months and stake my life when I gave birth to him just for you to come and ruin him!"

"Mom!" Bai Yutang now almost mad and sad to the highest degree he never knew he could feel. He remembers how his lover's family and friends all welcome him in open hands. Why does his own mother humiliate his lover this way?

Jian Kang Lu knows this is the thing he needs to face. He pulled Bai Yutang behind, not letting his kitten quarrel with his own mother and regretting it later.

"Auntie.. I know I was wrong. I'm the one who is pursuing TangTang."

"Get out! Stay away from my son!" Lu Hua's eyes were so wide until they almost jumped out from her eye socket.

Bai Yuren was already walking upstairs when she heard the commotion. She was standing there, not knowing what to do. She could only stand and watch them in silence. 

She wants to remind her mother that her voice is so loud, their neighbours definitely could hear her shouting. But it seems she can't say anything to her enraged mother. She never saw her mother this angry before.

"Auntie, I'm sorry. I know I was wrong, but I can't leave TangTang. I love him, and I will take responsibility for him until the day I die. I promised I'll do anything to make him happy, but I really can't bear to lose him. I need your blessing, auntie."

Lu Hua is so mad to hear that. She once admired how gentle this man's voice was. Soothing and magnetic, just like a clear blue sky in a lush green forest. But now it sounds like a devil's voice.

Lu Hua's world turns red. She didn't know what she's doing or saying until she heard her children shouting and running to her. 

Her breath is unsteady, she panting hard. She saw her daughter holding her tight, while her son ran in panic and came back with a piece of cloth to press Jian Kang Lu's face.

The cloth soon stained with red colour. There's a crack in that smooth face of Jian Kang Lu. The red liquid soon formed again on Jian Kang Lu's temples, near the corner of his eyes.