The Stars In Your Eyes

Bai Haoran still planned to hold the celebration dinner even though his daughter didn't really want to celebrate her failure to be accepted in T university. But Bai Haoran persuades her, saying his worker demands the celebration dinner and he needs to treat their neighbour too.

After all, 685 is the best score around their neighbourhood. The dinner will be held this Tuesday. Bai Haoran rents one small restaurant in their neighbourhood, famous for their one thousand flavour Duck.

It's already the end of June. The summer sun is a celebration of yellow, free and bright. The sky blazes blue, the trees rise to the occasion, donning their best verdant hues, and everywhere are the flowers, the scattered rainbow that they are.

Bai Yutang knocked on his sister's door. This Tuesday morning he wants to take his sister to go outside. Since the results day, his sister just locked herself in the room. Only going out for breakfast and dinner together with the family.. Sometimes Bai Yutang noticed his sister didn't take her lunch.

Her score is definitely enough for W university, but she still can't accept the fact that she might not be accepted in T university. This is her first failure in her life. She told Bai Yutang yesterday that maybe she needs to take next year's exam to strive for her dream.

Bai Yutang only said, "Do whatever you think is the best. This is your life, not anyone else. Me as your older brother can only support your decision."

This is actually Jian Ge's word that he borrowed. At Saturday noon after the result was out, Bai Yutang couldn't hold himself to send a message to Jian Ge about her sister. He truly worried and didn't know what to do.

Thus Jian Ge said those words to him. W university is also good. And sometimes later in life, the only key point to success and happiness is not determined with your alma mater. The key lies within yourself, and how hard you work to be a better version of yourself.

But maybe her sister could not accept any of those words now. So Jian Ge advises him just to support her, accompany her, and not give any empty consolation words. Jian Ge praised him when Bai Yutang said that yesterday he was holding his words and just hugged her once his sister results out.

Bai Yuren opens her door, and her eyes a little bit puffy. She cried again last night. Bai Yutang asked her to go down for breakfast together. When going downstairs, Bai Yutang asked her. 

"RenRen, can you accompany me to the shopping mall today? I haven't gone out since i came back home. We could eat at your favorite cafe there."

Jian Ge told him, if a depressed person holed up in their own space, it will be more difficult for them to get out of that depressed feeling. People need to go out, breathe the outdoor air and be exposed under the sun. Vitamin D from the sun helps to ease depression.

Bai Yutang planned to go for lunch and he wanted to buy a gift for her. After all, her score only has 5 point differences with him. And he knows how hard he was studying to get that score. He wants to buy her clothes to wear for her celebration dinner.

It was also Jian Ge's advice when they chatted last night.

They spent the day well, her sister looks brighter after trying the new dessert cafe. Then Bai Yutang accompanied her to try those piling of clothes in a thousand different stores when Bai Yutang told her he would buy clothes for her as her gaokao gift.

The celebratory dinner also went well. The restaurant in the neighbourhood is packed with so many familiar faces. With a big red flower attached on the board outside the restaurant entrance, filled with congratulatory words and auspicious wishes.

After receiving so many compliments, envy looks from other parents who have children scored below 500, awe looks from her junior, and proud face from her teachers and tutors, finally Bai Yuren's face starts to return into the usual lively Bai Yuren. Her smile turns sincere, and she jokes a lot with them.

On the table, she said to her brother, "Ge, i decide to take the medical faculty here in W university. You are already so far away from home. Maybe this is written in my fate, not to get too far from mom and dad."

Bai Yutang smiles at her, pat her shoulder, and says no more. There is nothing else to say.

The final result from T university is out. Her sister truly didn't manage to get into their cutoff point. Rumor said that the minimum score accepted this year in T university medical faculty for students outside B city is 705.

His cousin's face ashen in the whole dinner time. Near the end of the dinner, his face looked like want to cry and said to him, "Ge, why are you and jiejie set the standard so high? Three years later if I took gaokao and scored below 600, I'm sure my father would have skinned me alive."

Bai Yutang laughed and teased him, "Skinned you alive will just tire uncle. He's not young anymore. I'll give him a suggestion that he just boiled you alive. Save some hassle."

"Ge!!!" His cousin screamed and pleaded with him to say good words to his father. He already is having a hard time because he truly can't be accepted into the same high school as these two outstanding cousins of his.

————

This weekend, Bai Yutang's father said he will take them to have dinner outside. So Bai Haoran told his wife not to cook for dinner. Bai Haoran promised his wife to eat at their favourite restaurant.

Lu Hua looked at the clock hung in the living room. It's already 7 o'clock and Bai Haoran didn't come home yet. It's unusual for him to go home late when he already promised her to dine out.

She called her husband, but the call was not going through. Her husband never did this before, Bai Haoran always answered phone calls from her, no matter what he did. If he has to accompany guests or clients, he always tells her beforehand. Lu Hua suddenly has a bad premonition.

She sat in the living room with her hands griping her mobile phone tightly. Bai Yutang walked into the living room and saw her mother's anxious face.

Bai Yutang frowned. Her mother still looks pretty and young due to good maintenance from his father. But now her face is filled with lines and suddenly looks like her real age. She will turn 45 this year.

Bai Haoran himself is a very ordinary man with a brute cut. And now when he grew old, his belly turned fat from all the alcohol and fancy dinner he had while entertaining his clients. Bai Haoran always said that it was his luck that he could manage to hook this fairy, marry him and give him two wonderful children.

Around 7.30 pm, the phone in Lu Hua's hand rang. Lu Hua answered it immediately.

Bai Yutang could not hear what that person said in that phone call. But his mother looks like striked by lightning, and her face turns pale. She only said with stuttering speech, "I.. I will.. I will go there right now, Xing Ge.. Yes.. Yes.. I will. Th.. Thank you for telling me."

Lu Hua's face blank for a few seconds after the phone call. Then she turns around to see her son, who's looking at her with a worried face.

Tears started rolling from her mother's red eyes, her lips quivering when she said, "TangTang.. Your.. Your father fainted. And.. And now he's in hospital."

After saying those words, she starts to cry uncontrollably. Their family only has one car, for Bai Haoran's daily usage. So Bai Yutang called a taxi immediately, and ran upstairs to get her sister.

He hoped his father was okay. He never showed any sickness, nor saying any complaint about his health. He always looks strong. With his big figure, tanned skin, and firm eyes, his father looks like a mountain to him.

Bai Yutang used to complain, why he was not as big nor strong as his father. He is always skinny no matter how much he eats. He is also not as tall as his father. His father always laughs if he complains, and ruffling his hair, "Brat! It's good that you look like your mother. I don't want to have a son as ugly as I am. Besides, a man's value is not measured by how big his body is, but from the way he treats his lady."

That's the principal thing for his father. Giving all the best to his woman. Protect her with all he got. That's why he works hard into the point he is standing right now. To make his wife never taste any hard work, never be sad. To make his wife only know happiness.

And now, this man makes his woman cry and sobbing like a child, in the taxi taking them to the hospital. Bai Yutang's heart ached to hear his mother crying like that. He never saw his mother crying like this.

All her tears he saw before are happy tears.

From the joy of having a daughter as their second child. From the proud when Bai Yutang or Bai Yuren receive awards for their academic achievement. From the love she received from her husband.

Bai Yutang's mind is a mess. He still couldn't believe nor accept this fact. He only can pray that his father is alright, that it was just fatigue due to overwork. And they will go home soon, laugh together again. As usual.

He promised himself to take care of his father and persuade him to rest after this. Working is important, but not as important as your health and spending time with your family.

When they arrived at the emergency room, Bai Yutang felt nauseous to smell the hospital's scent. This is the scent of sickness, and the scent of despair. The bright light in ER makes his head dizzy, and the noises from the people inside buzzing in his ear.

Uncle Han, his father's worker, stands up from the chair outside the ER and walks towards them.

"Mr. Bai is inside, with Mr. Xing."

Uncle Xing is his father's partner. One of his closest friends. Bai Yutang follows uncle Han with a blank face. He didn't see his father inside. Uncle Xing met them with a haggard face, saying that his father was in the resuscitation room.

Uncle Xing called the doctor, saying it's best to hear from the doctor directly.

The young doctor came with a complicated face. He said that his father had a stroke. A stroke with bleeding inside his brain. He needed surgery to remove this blood clot from his brain. The risk from this surgery is high, and they can't guarantee the result. But his father definitely will get worse if they don't do this surgery.

Bai Yutang's mind is muddy, and his mother almost fainted. He hurriedly helped his mother to steady, and took her to sit on a chair in the corner. The doctor needs the family's consent. And the surgery will be scheduled for today. 

But even if they agreed, they still need to stabilise the patient first. So the surgery won't be held for the next four hour. It means the family only has two hour to discuss.

Her mother is just crying, and can't say anything. His sister also cried next to her. Bai Yutang is the only man in the family right now who can decide. So he tried to hold himself together. He can't collapse, or depend on his mother right now. His mother needs him.

He really didn't know what to do. So he finally called Jian Ge.

Jian Ge's voice is so gentle, but then turns worried and anxious when he explains his situation with a stammering voice. Jian Ge asks him to pass the phone to the doctor.

After a while, the doctor gave him the phone back and patted his shoulder. Jian Ge only says blunt words, but the meaning is clear.

"As a doctor, my opinion is the same with the doctor there. Without surgery, the bleeding won't stop and the brain damage will be greater. Brain damage is still irreversible for current technology. But you have to understand, this surgery won't guarantee anything. It was only our best try to save the patient, and the patient's future. The decision should be laid on the family. My condolences to hear this, TangTang. I hope I can be there for you."

Bai Yutang only can nod his head. He truly wants to cry to hear those gentle words. But he knows he can't cry now. In the end he managed to gather his voice. "Thank you Jian Ge, I have decided to go with the surgery. And pray for the result."

Bai Yutang turned his head to the young doctor, and told him his decision.

After signing all the consent papers needed for this surgery. He looked at his mother and sister, who were still sobbing in the corner. He remembers the three of them haven't had dinner yet. He's not hungry, and he believes those two also won't have any appetite.

But Jian Ge said before he hung up, he hoped Bai Yutang took care of his own health, and also his family. So he walked outside, looking for bread and milk for him and his family inside.

He feels lost. In this crowd and all the noises around, he feels alone. And the loneliness filled his heart, turning it into a hollow space.

He wants to hold onto something. But none left here. His father, always someone he could hold on to, was laid in the resuscitation room inside. He's a man, the oldest son. He needs to be someone who can replace his father and protect his family.

But, it will be nice to have someone he could turn to. Just like Jian Ge's soothing voice he heard just now on the phone. Giving him a sense of security. Protected and safe. Someone he could hold on.

He hopes this will soon pass, and this big mountain he called father comes back to him and protects them like he used to be.