The Stars In Your Eyes

The weather outside the airport is very cold. It was 3 degrees celsius. But the harsh wind blow brings the world's temperature outside to below the freezing point.

Bai Yutang was glad they didn't need to wait outside. Jian Kang Lu was really worried about him and the cold weather. He reminded him multiple times not to be exposed with winter wind. Jian Kang Lu also reminded him about his illness last year if Bai Yutang opened his mouth to refute him.

Jian Kang Lu even put the jacket and the shawl on him, tightening it personally in Bai Yutang's neck. And just looked satisfied after he saw Bai Yutang wrapped tightly from head to toe.

Bai Yutang is already accustomed with this habit of Jian Kang Lu, that always treats him like a 7 year old child. So he just stood there silently and let Jian Kang Lu do whatever he wanted to do.

After that long hour flight, Bai Yutang's body still tried to adjust himself with this time difference. They left the country in the afternoon, and they reached here at night. It should be morning in B city.

The hotel sent the driver to pick them up. Bai Yutang looked around the scenery outside the car. It was dark, he can't see clearly. But this town seems to have a lot of park, and rivers. It must be beautiful during the day time. Bai Yutang already looks at the internet, but to be here in person is kinda like a dream for him.

Bai Yutang never went abroad before. This is the first time. This also the first time for him to sit in the business class flight. Even though it was comfortable, to be in the air for more than 16 hours is still tiring. Bai Yutang could not imagine how tired it would be to sit in the economic class.

Bai Yutang also asked Jian Kang Lu why he didn't see any of his colleagues. Since Jian Kang Lu said that this is an international conference, Bai Yutang assumed that Jian Kang Lu's colleague must be going too.

Jian Kang Lu said they took different flights, usually one day before. Jian Kang Lu may be the one that booked the last flight near the conference time. One of his reasons is to assure Bai Yutang got his visa approval. Luckily it was approved much earlier than he thought.

It seems this year there will be more than 30 nephrologists from their country attending this conference. But Huang Yin was absent this time. From their hospital, only Jian Kang Lu and Zhao Yang attended this conference. This year Zhao Yang went alone without his wife.

It was common to bring your family to the conference. Doctor didn't have much free time leisurely going for holiday. So usually they will arrange a holiday when they attend conferences abroad.

They checked in at the hotel, the same hotel the conferences will hold. It was already midnight when they finally could rest in the room. The room they stayed in was a standard room in a 4 star hotel, located in the heart of this city.

Even though it was a 4 star hotel, the room looked even better than the 5 star hotel in W city or B city. The spacious 36 sqm located in the corner, with a large window occupied both of two walls, facing the city. When Bai Yutang opened the curtain to see the view outside, it was very soothing.

The spacious room has an L shaped white sofa on one side of that windowed wall, with a purple square table in front of it. There's a round table also next to the sofa. The non window walls have few framed pictures arranged in the abstract style, giving the modern nuisance to the room. On the other side of the windowed wall, there are two chairs and one round table. The 50 inch television hanging in the corner between the sofa and the chairs.

Jian Kang Lu was stunned to see the room they were given is one king bed room, not a double bed like he told the sponsor before. Previously he won't mind. Even maybe a little bit happy.

But now with an illusion his kitten is doing intimate act, he shuddered to imagine the torture he had to face if he had to sleep on the same bed with his kitten.

He didn't trust himself.

Jian Kang Lu is not a virgin, he knows the taste of sex. He knows the blissful feeling, the ecstasy of two bodies tangled together. And he definitely is not a saint.

In his whole life, he was always a person who never faced difficulties to get the person he wanted. If his girlfriend was threatening to break up with him, he has no fear. Because he knows he treats them well. And he believed he could find a better woman that could treat him well too.

When he finally knew that he was gay, he even treat his lover even better. Because he knew this kind of relationship is difficult for them to hold on. So he does everything he can to make his partner happy. It was not easy to find a man that he loves, and love him back.

Though both of his relationships still failed in the end. It led him to more than three year abstinence. He despised to have sex with someone he doesn't love.

His lifestyle and working environment also restrained him to find a new love. Working from morning till night, busy all day, the same routine trapped him everyday, and he also tired.

Tired of trying to know and learn the habits of other people. Tired to guess what's on their mind. Tired of appeasing them. He was tired, thus he shut himself.

Until his kitten appeared. At first he was the same person as before, trying his luck to bend this man. Who knows he will fall for him, like all those people he pursued before. But then he felt this blissful life, a piece of peaceful mind, that he never felt before.

He thought, this platonic relationship suits him very well. He was so afraid to lose this man, afraid to lose the comfort and the happiness he felt every time his kitten soothe him.

He was changed from a confident man into a coward. He don't want to risk this happiness, and feared his kitten will runaway if he knew Jian Kang Lu is gay.

Then his kitten disappeared. Jian Kang Lu never trapped in a situation like that before. Helpless, darkness, his whole world shut down. Even when Wu Shen and Zhang Min went from his life, he never felt that way.

If his friends ask him, what makes him fall this hard for his kitten, he could not answer. He could list hundred things he likes from his kitten. He could list thousand things about his bright kitten. But he could not answer why he liked his kitten.

If he said his kitten is cute, a lot of cute guys out there.

If he said his kitten is young, a lot of young men out there.

If he said his kitten is kind, a lot of kind people out there.

If he said his kitten is smart, a lot of smart boys out there.

But why Bai Yutang? Jian Kang Lu could not answer. Because he could not answer, he knows that his kitten is special. The one and only.

There's only one Bai Yutang in this world, no one out there could be the same.

More than three years he maintained good and healthy sex life with his own hand. But he knows himself, and his limits. He can't guarantee himself not to eat his kitten whole, if they have to sleep together in one bed.

"It seems they gave us the wrong room. I asked for a double bed, not a single bed. Let me call the reception."

His kitten standing next to the window, looking at the city lights flickering outside. His kitten turned around to look at him, but said nothing. His kitten just nodded, and waited for him on the sofa.

The reception told Jian Kang Lu the reservation is correct, what they received is a reservation for a corner room. Every corner room in this hotel only has a single bed. Jian Kang Lu needs to change the reservation into the traditional or suite room. But the hotel right now is full due to the conference.

Jian Kang Lu silently hung up the phone. He could feel his kitten staring at him, and then his kitten's gentle voice heard.

"It's okay, Jian Ge. I don't mind. Besides, it's already midnight. Let's just unpack our things and rest. Tomorrow morning you need to wake up early."

That's how Jian Kang Lu woke up in the morning feeling so tired. He still has jet lag, and he can't rest well. All night he was just tossing around, trying to sleep as far as he could from his kitten.

He could feel the warmth emitted from that body, lying under the same blanket. Jian Kang Lu grip his pillow tight not to let himself roll towards his kitten to hug him tight. To be one with him. To have him whole.

When Jian Kang Lu shaved his face, he could see the dark circles under his eyes. He sighed, and released himself again. This two weeks he already released himself more than 6 times. All because he needs to hold himself and so afraid if one day he loses his sanity, turns into a beast and attacks his kitten.

He doesn't want that to happen.

After he finished his shameful act and took a bath, he woke his kitten to have breakfast together. He saw that peaceful, beautiful face sleep soundly. Illuminated from the grey sun shone from the window.

Time stopped. The whole world seems to stop spinning.

He loves this man so much.

Jian Kang Lu's body just moved by his own, he kneel down beside the bed, and tried to burn the image of this blissful scenery in front of him into his mind. This is one of the best moments in his life.

He caresses that soft cheeks, admiring how God could create such a perfect creature like him. And he is grateful, this beautiful creature is laying down in front of him. So peaceful. Then he saw those beautiful long eyelashes fluttering like a ripple of water. Those beautiful eyes opened, looking at him in a daze.

"TangTang, do you want to have breakfast or you want to sleep for more?"

Jian Kang Lu heard his own hoarse voice, spoke softly. Tried to grip himself, and wanted to retract his hand. He was afraid that beautiful eyes will turn into horrified eyes, then a despise eyes, disgusted with him.

But then, he felt his kitten's hand move from under the blanket, hold his own hand. Make his hand pressed that soft cheek even more. Burned from those smooth skin under.

His kitten stares at his eyes, still unfocused, then closes again. Those cheeks snuggle under Jian Kang Lu's hand. Rubbed him with a burning desire, and the friction left him breathless.

Jian Kang Lu heard his kitten's hoarse voice softly speaking, "I want to have breakfast together with you, Jian Ge."

Jian Kang Lu doesn't know how long he kneels on his knees, beside the bed. The time is not moving. So does he.

He just absorbs every moment there. The look, the feel. Even his heart stopped.

Then his kitten opened his eyes again, his hand still holding Jian Kang Lu. His kitten moved Jian Kang Lu's hand, placed it on the pillow he slept with, and his kitten woke up.

"Wait for a minute, Jian Ge. I'll wash my face first."

When Bai Yutang walked out from the bathroom, he saw Jian Kang Lu still silently kneel beside the bed. Not moving an inch at all. Just the same posture when Bai Yutang left him to wash his face.

The sun shined from the window, with gold speckles and sparks every corner in this room with flickering soft lights. Surrounding Jian Kang Lu with a halo. Bai Yutang was stunned, and felt the time around him stop moving around.

He loves this man so much.

Then he involuntarily walked to this dazzling man, with a soft nudge, touch his hand that still left on the same position on the bed, beside his pillow.

"Come, Jian Ge. Let's have breakfast together."