The Stars In Your Eyes

In reality, Jian Kang Lu was right. Part of it was only his illusion. The real scene was a bit different from what he imagined.

At first, Bai Yutang just dazed the whole day, thinking about Mu Xiaoya's advice to him. Return all the physical conduct Jian Kang Lu did to him previously.

Mu Xiaoya logic is : Jian Kang Lu touches him —> He doesn't mind —> He likes Jian Kang Lu.

So, if Bai Yutang does the same, and Jian Kang Lu doesn't mind, then Jian Kang Lu likes him too. Mu Xiaoya even screamed and grabbed his hand tight when she told that line for the fourth time, because Bai Yutang still resisted her idea.

Bai Yutang is afraid. What if he did that and then Jian Kang Lu disgusted with him? How if Jian Kang Lu threw him away, and said that he despised him, for a man like Bai Yutang just took advantage of his kindness. What a filthy person..

So both of them leave the cafe with a frustrated feeling. Mu Xiaoya glared at him, but in the end she coldly said that Bai Yutang needed to tell her everything, and to note every expression and action that Jian Kang Lu made towards him.

That led to the incident on Sunday night, when Jian Kang Lu returned from his family lunch. Since Bai Yutang stayed in the apartment, Jian Kang Lu only spent lunch there until afternoon, and always came back home to have dinner together with Bai Yutang.

Bai Yutang absentmindedly stirred the shrimp and broccoli lo mein. He can't taste the lo mein right. He thought it was okay, but his mind is so messed up because of what Mu Xiaoya said two days ago. He already tasted the lo mein several times but still found it tasted weird.

Thus he asked Jian Kang Lu to taste it. He was afraid that if he already served the lo mein, Jian Kang Lu would say that it was okay while in reality it tastes bad. Because Bai Yutang's mind was still muddled, his body moved by his own instinct. He was not intending to feed Jian Kang Lu with his own hands.

This involuntary movement includes wiping the oil stain in the corner of Jian Kang Lu's mouth.

His hand just moved by itself when he saw the oil stain. He was stunned when he realised what he had done. And he saw Jian Kang Lu was also in the same state with him.

Bai Yutang's fear immediately surged. What if Jian Kang Lu hates him because his act crossed the line between friends. No matter how you see it, no normal friend will wipe oil stains from his friend's mouth.

So he nervously said in a hurry, trying to act calm. Cover his fear and his wildly thumping heart.

"Is it good?"

Bai Yutang prayed Jian Kang Lu didn't notice something was wrong with his act, even though it was definitely weird. Surprisingly, Jian Kang Lu said it was good, and they spent dinner like usual on the surface. In reality, Bai Yutang spent the whole dinner sweating and anxiously tried to hide his own face.

He was so afraid.

So he was very glad to manage keeping his calm on the surface, and act like everything is normal. Then he reported the incidence to Mu Xiaoya.

She was praising him so high. And assure him that Jian Kang Lu didn't mind that act. If Jian Kang Lu minds about that, he must already talk to Bai Yutang about it.

Bai Yutang pondering, that seems correct. Every time they had some differences, Jian Kang Lu seemed to ask him for discussion. Just like when he ran away, or when Jian Kang Lu came home late on his birthday.

Jian Kang Lu always patiently explains to him, and listens to his opinion too.

So Mu Xiaoya suggests that if he is still awkward about physical conduct, he can start with holding Jian Kang Lu's hand first. Jian Kang Lu likes to drag him around holding his hand, so why won't Bai Yutang do the same?

Thus, Bai Yutang brave himself, and tried to hold Jian Kang Lu's hand when he came home from hospital on Tuesday night. He's so nervous that he can't do the initial act he planned in his mind.

Instead of holding Jian Kang Lu's hand, he grabbed his bag. When he also stunned and cursed himself, he just placed the bag upon the living room. When he turned around, he saw Jian Kang Lu still standing there staring at him.

Bai Yutang then braved himself, ignoring his blushing face, tried not to see Jian Kang Lu's face. And just drag his hand. Lead him to the dining table.

Jian Kang Lu didn't let go of his hand. He just follows him silently, and sits in the chair obediently.

Bai Yutang sweating profusely, thus he let go of his own sweating palm quickly, and tried to make himself busy to ease his nerves. That's why he just served the dinner back and forth. The bowl. The dishes. The spoon. He forgot the rice, so he took the bowl again and put the rice inside, then served it again. The glass. Then the tea.

Bai Yutang cursed himself, why he keeps forgetting to serve the dinner smoothly like he usually does. So when he finally finished the dinner preparation that took longer than usual because of his clumsiness, he could only sit down and saw Jian Kang Lu sipped the tea he served.

To ease the awkward stillness around them, he forced himself to ask.

"Is it good?"

Bai Yutang can only say these lines every time he feels nervous because of this dazzling man he holds in his heart.

Bai Yutang was relieved when he managed to spend the dinner act casually. And it seems Jian Kang Lu didn't mind when he held his hand.

Jian Kang Lu said nothing, even though the stillness around them is awkward, and Jian Kang Lu's also looks like his mind wandering somewhere else the whole night.

Bai Yutang diligently reported tonight's matter to Mu Xiaoya. But he still can't accept Mu Xiaoya opinion when Mu Xiaoya said it must be because Jian Kang Lu also likes him.

Bai Yutang points out the fact that Jian Kang Lu didn't look at his usual self. Maybe Jian Kang Lu doesn't like touching his hand, but can't afford to bring the conversation because Jian Kang Lu pity him.

On the other side, Mu Xiaoya screams and wants to throw her phone away. How could this senior of hers be so blind!!! Blind blind blind!!! Poor Jian Ge..

Mu Xiaoya is glad his Yu Dong is not as dense as this blind man. She took a deep breath, and tried to change her tactic again. Then she typed.

[Maybe because Jian Ge had a bad day? Next time, why don't you ask him whether he had a bad day when you see Jian Ge's absentminded?]

Bai Yutang was stunned. He always asks Jian Kang Lu about his day too, but usually as a response because Jian Kang Lu asks first. Bai Yutang feels ashamed. He was too absorbed by his own feelings and not attentive enough to Jian Kang Lu.

So he promised himself that he will do the same to Jian Kang Lu.

Jian Kang Lu always comforted him when he was having a bad day, tired, sad, or mad. He will try to do the same. He wants to make this man happy, as happy as this man made him.

Thus, on Friday night, he told Jian Kang Lu that he already got his visa approval. When Jian Kang Lu took care of the documents, Bai Yutang saw he looked tired, then asked him about his day.

Jian Kang Lu's voice is gentle, a deep voice that soothes and draws people listening to every single word he said. Even when Jian Kang Lu complained about something, he still talked in a gentle and polite manner. Bai Yutang just listens to this gentle man talking about his day in a way that looks like he is just spending an ordinary day.

But Bai Yutang knows this man well. Even if Jian Kang Lu didn't show it, Bai Yutang could see that he was having a bad day. From his mild dissatisfied tone, from his slightly frowned brow, from that empty smile.

Bai Yutang could only listen, because he honestly didn't know what to respond to. Jian Kang Lu's world is something he doesn't understand. He can't give suggestions, nor have any opinion. So he only can listen silently every time Jian Kang Lu tells him about his day.

Then Jian Kang Lu changed the conversation. He talked about their Boston trip. Bai Yutang feels that this man really treats him well.

Jian Kang Lu pulled him out from the abyss. He placed the lights back on Bai Yutang's void world. He supports Bai Yutang with everything Bai Yutang needs.

A place to stay, which he could call his second home.

A protection, to shield him from his own fear of a bleak future.

A shoulder he could lean on, when he was sad and didn't know what to do.

A happy and warm heart.

Thus when Bai Yutang saw this man frown his brow again when Bai Yutang rejected his offer to provide him with a driver and tour guide, he just moved unconsciously. To hug this man who gave him everything he needed.

"Don't think about this trip too much, Jian Ge. You are already being so good to me. I'm an adult, I can take care of myself. Don't worry."

This is one part that Bai Yutang really doesn't understand, why Jian Kang Lu is so nice to him. Too nice, until sometimes he treats him like a toddler.

"You already had a bad day today. Don't think too much."

Bai Yutang only wants to assure this man, his precious one, that he will be okay.

Jian Kang Lu gave him everything. All he needs, all he wants, all he desires.

Bai Yutang hoped he could do the same.