The Stars In Your Eyes

Under the alcohol influence, Bai Yutang's rage and frustration still flamed like wildfire. He doesn't want to nod this time. But he let Jian Kang Lu hold his hand the whole time. Until they walked back to the hotel.

Once they're inside the room, Jian Kang Lu led his kitten who still had an angry expression to sit in the bed. Then he kneels in front of Bai Yutang, and holds his hand tight.

"What do you want to ask? I'll answer all your questions."

Bai Yutang looked at the man who was kneeling in front of him and staring at him with an anxious face. Deep inside his heart, he was happy to find this handsome face could show this expression because of him.

But he also doesn't know what to ask. He doesn't want to make Jian Kang Lu hate him and think that he was a petty jealousy man..

"I.. I.."

Bai Yutang stutters, and his brain, which is muddled with alcohol, finally asks the things he really wants to know.

"Do you really like me, Jian Ge?"

Jian Kang Lu stares at the beautiful face who looks at him with an anxious expression, mixed with expectation.

Jian Kang Lu kissed his kitten's hand. The beautiful hands he admired for a long time. With those hands still touching his lips, he looked at Bai Yutang's eyes and said.

"I like you. So much. I can't even explain my feelings with words. I like you. I adore you. I love you. If you can't believe me, then i can only ask for a chance to prove it to you."

Jian Kang Lu kissed those hands again.

"So, TangTang.. Can you give me a chance to prove my words? I really want to ask you to be my lover. To be together with me. But if you still have doubts, that's okay. All I ask is for you to give me a chance."

Bai Yutang looked into those eyes, filled with anticipation. So he nodded his head.

"I-I.. I also like you, Jian Ge. But.."

Jian Kang Lu grip that hand tighter, he could not face it if his kitten rejected him. His fear and anxiety rose up. He tried to wreck his brain to think every possible word and ways to tie his kitten with him. After tasting this pure blissful happiness, he really could not go back pretending to have a platonic relationship with his kitten.

"But.. I can't understand why you like me too.."

Jian Kang Lu was relieved and confused to hear that statement. He knows he tried to hold himself to show his affection to his kitten. But can't his kitten see that he really tried to do everything to make him happy.

"TangTang, before I answer that, can you tell me which part of me makes you think like that?" Jian Kang Lu asked slowly. He doesn't want to jump to the wrong conclusion.

Bai Yutang lowered his head. He can't look at Jian Kang Lu. He tried to find his own bravery. He knows, if he holds this kind of feeling inside him, it will rot and ruin him. And ruin the person he loves. He saw it on Tang Yuxuan and his girlfriend.

Bai Yutang also learned from his father, that honesty is the best thing if you want to respect your partner and want your partner to respect you in return.

"I-I.. Maybe you'll think that i'm childish and foolish. But.. But i'm just an ordinary man. No one, no one ever liked me before."

Looking at Jian Kang Lu who was still looking at him, and listening to him, Bai Yutang took a deep breath and continued to say all the things bothering his mind.

"No one ever said those words to me before.."

Bai Yutang lowered his head, and closed his eyes.

"I'm not handsome, i'm not talented, i-i.. I'm poor and even need to accept your help.." Bai Yutang said that with a very weak voice, uttering the deepest secret he held in his heart.

"I saw all your friends, they're all s-so dazzling. I-I can't even compare myself to any single person on your circle. A-and.. I s-saw that handsome man.. I know he must be your.. Your.."

Bai Yutang could not say those words. He could only shut his eyes tight, and tried to hold his tears. He also cursed himself, why he felt like he wanted to cry. He was a man, for God's sake!!

"That's why.. That's why i d-don't understand. Why.. Why someone like you, want to be with me…"

Bai Yutang suddenly felt those hands that were holding his hands already moved, releasing itself from his fingers, and now a pair of strong arms hold him tight. Caressing his back, grip his arms. The warm air released from the man he loved brushed his ear.

"TangTang.. I'm not good with my words. Like I said before, maybe you don't believe me, thus I ask you for a chance. All i can say, how i wish for you to know how deep i fall for you. How much I love you. I can't answer why I like you. So many good things I can say about you. But none of it matters."

Jian Kang Lu released his grip from his kitten body, and cupped the face he adored with both of his hands. Looking into that deep eyes, and kissing his kitten lips softly.

"I love you, so so much. I might sound cheap now. But I really never felt this way before with anyone else. I love you, because it was you. No one else made me feel like this before, no one else could make me feel this way."

Jian Kang Lu kissed his kitten softly again, and his cheek, his eyes, his forehead.

"Could you give us a chance? I'll prove it to you, and I hope I can spend a lifetime proving my words to you."

Bai Yutang tried to hold back the tears, he hugged Jian Kang Lu back. And nod his head.

After they changed their clothes and lay in the bed, Bai Yutang felt his head a little bit light. He knows that he was drunk. Alcohol and nervousness to stay under the same blanket with Jian Kang Lu makes him positioned himself on the edge of the bed. Facing the window.

Jian Kang Lu saw his kitten laid so far away from him, showing only his back to him. Is he still mad with him? Or afraid of him? Does he still feel uncomfortable being with a man?

Jian Kang Lu also didn't know why his kitten wanted to be with him. Is his kitten originally a gay? But he remembered his kitten told him with a sad tone that he failed twice to approach girls.

"TangTang, can i hold you when we sleep? I promise just to hold you, I won't do anything else."

Bai Yutang froze, then he turned around, facing Jian Kang Lu.

Jian Kang Lu opened his arms to welcome him. So Bai Yutang moved his body, and placed his body in Jian Kang Lu arms.

To feel that warm body he wants to hold everyday finally be here in his arms, Jian Kang Lu's heart felt so content. He caresses his kitten's hair softly. Then murmuring.

"Thank you TangTang.. Thank you for giving me a chance. I promised i'll make you happy."

Both of them sleep soundly that night. Hold each other until the morning comes. The winter weather outside showed the yellow grey sun rays peek from between the tall buildings. The white mist slowly dissipated under the sun, and the grey snow in the road melted into a pool of water. Today's winter is sunny, and bright.

Jian Kang Lu wants to ride uber to Harvard university, they will take the tour today. But Bai Yutang said he wanted to try the subway. He never rode a subway for the time he spent here. He is always walking, and with Jian Kang Lu they always ride uber.

Jian Kang Lu can't say no to his kitten. So both of them are riding the subway. Jian Kang Lu is just smiling to see his kitten's eyes wandering everywhere. They reach the square where the tour points started.

Too bad the tour guide is not an architecture student. It was a girl at the same age as Bai Yutang, she was studying literature. But she was very friendly, smiled a lot, and was very funny. She explained a lot about Harvard. With wide bright eyes, she excitedly told them about the historical and peculiar site in her campus.

Bai Yutang could not understand all the things this girl said because she spoke so fast. Sometimes he nudged at Jian Kang Lu to translate it for him. Of all the magnificent buildings with their own long history, the one that stays in Bai Yutang's mind is The Harry Elkins Widener Memorial Library.

Harry Elkins Widener was a bibliophile who graduated from Harvard. He died with his father when the titanic ship they boarded sank, while her mother was rescued.

When he was still alive, he told a friend, not long before he died, "I want to be remembered in connection with a great library, I do not see how it is going to be brought about."

Because of that, her mother donated the library to Harvard as a memorial. Mrs. Widener didn't give the money when she built the library, but decided her own architectural opinion to the firms that designed and built that library.

The legends told that in order to prevent her son's fate from repeating, Widener's mother put a condition of her donation that every future Harvard graduate be required to learn to swim.

One of the conditions Mrs. Widener put into the library also included that they can't change the appearance of the building. Because of that, when Harvard wants to expand the library, they expand it underground and need to request grants several times from Widener's descendants.

Bai Yutang admired a person, who can change the world with their small words and action. A mother's love could not be valued with money, but surely her mother made sure that the world would know about her beloved son, remember his love of books and knowledge, and his great plan to be connected with a great library so people could afford to widen their knowledge from the words written in the pages.

And the world remembers Harry Elkins Widener until this day.

Jian Kang Lu insists on buying Bai Yutang and his friends the sweater from Harvard's souvenir shop. Jian Kang Lu told him that the store managed by the students and the sales will go to the student wages and operations. Thus Bai Yutang surrendered and chose four sweaters for him and his friends.

Bai Yutang remembered Mu Xiaoya, he needed to say thank you to Mu Xiaoya for her advice. But he could not gift these clothes. Maybe girls will prefer soap, face masks, and the lotions they bought yesterday. Bai Yutang take a note in his mind to give this to Mu Xiaoya under the pretence of 'Boston's gift'.

They had lunch in the cafe near the university, then rode uber back to their hotel to pack their things. Tomorrow noon they will depart for New York. So they need to pack now, because they will depart from the hotel after breakfast tomorrow.

After packing all these things, even Bai Yutang's luggage is very full now. Jian Kang Lu rarely bought gifts, thus he also only brought one luggage.

"Maybe we need to buy another luggage tomorrow in New York." Jian Kang Lu pondered when he tried to stuff everything they bought in the luggage.

Bai Yutang speechless. It seems they really need to. These two luggage almost exploded.

The steak restaurant they went for dinner is really nice. Bai Yutang tastes better in B city where Jian Kang Lu brought him. But the au gratin potatoes and their sushi-grade sesame seared tuna with gingered rice is really nice and unique.

Bai Yutang secretly wanted to learn to cook this when they arrived home next week. It seems healthy and really delicious.

When the night comes and they prepare to go to the bed, Jian Kang Lu sits in the bed and doesn't say anything but open his arms wide. Bai Yutang knows what he means.

So he walked towards the bed, put himself under the blanket, and rolled to that open arms. To the embrace of the man he loved, and this man loved him back.