The Stars In Your Eyes

Bai Yutang waited for his lover's voice, but he heard none. He looked at his lover, and saw that phoenix eyes that usually curved with his warm smile, now just staring coldly at the road in front of them.

His lover just silently drives, and after some time finally answers. "It's okay, just another tired day."

It's rare for his lover to say that short sentences with cold eyes and aloof gestures. It seems he really had a bad day. Bai Yutang didn't know what else he should say or do. Both of them drown in silence, it feels so awkward.

Bai Yutang thought maybe after dinner, his lover will come back to his usual self. But until half of dinner time, his lover still has that dark aura. No matter what he asked, his lover only answered in short sentences.

This should be their third month anniversary dinner, but the atmosphere is desolate. Even their breakfast this morning is more romantic than this dinner in this fancy restaurant. Bai Yutang notices that his lover also keeps emptying his glass of wine. It was rare for them to drink wine until it was almost empty before they finished their dinner.

Bai Yutang touched that hand who wanted to raise his glass, asking the waiter to fill it again. He really can't see this side of his lover. He just wants this man to tell him what is bothering his mind, and let his gentle lover back to him.

"Gege.. Don't drink too much. Can you just tell me what is bothering you today?"

Jian Kang Lu wanted to ask his kitten many things, but he also knew that he was unreasonable. He knows that he acts childish, but he can't stop himself. He wants to try smiling, trying to talk, like nothing happened.

But he can't.

When Jian Kang Lu saw his kitten hold that girl.. All his logic and sense are gone.

Deep inside, he knows that maybe that girl is only a friend. But even when he saw that scene from behind the glass, he could see that the girl's gesture was showing that she was attracted to his kitten.

Deep inside, he knows that maybe this is not his kitten's fault, and it was unfair for him to act this way. This is supposed to be their anniversary dinner. And here he is, act childish and unwise.

Humans are born greedy. If this was before he and his kitten together, he could act casual and tease him. But once they're together, he can't do the same. He wants his kitten to see only him, and hold only him.

Jian Kang Lu mocked himself, to let him degrade his intelligence by acting like this. He wants to ask his kitten, but it is also hard to admit that he was a childish man who blindly burned his jealousy.

He doesn't want to be a person who represses his kitten's freedom. His kitten should be a man that is free to hang out with anyone, do what he wants, and he is supposed to be his kitten's best supporter.

But… It was one of his hardest moments in his life, to hear that Zhang Min decided to see that girl introduced by his father. His heart felt like sliced into thousand pieces to see Zhang Min dating a girl. It was very hard to see Zhang Min propose to that girl.

To finally see Zhang Min married her, it was not that painful anymore. Because his heart dulled, tormented too many times before.

That time he was just silent, try to understand, try to endure.

He knows, he could never be a person like that again.

That's why he just answers his kitten with short sentences, afraid that he will burst up and tell his kitten that he doesn't like to see his kitten hang out with girls that he doesn't know. Especially girls that are attracted to his kitten.

And Jian Kang Lu keep draining his wine, try to wash his own insecurity.

That was until he heard his kitten's pleading voice with that warm hand holding his own. Jian Kang Lu always wants to hold his kitten's hand every time. But he restrained himself in public. And it was rare for his kitten to hold his hand in public like this.

Jian Kang Lu knows, he needs to stop this act, and just be honest. He took a deep breath. But it was really hard for him to say those words. He is also afraid if his kitten really will leave him if his kitten knows he was this low, this possessive, this unreasonable.

What kind of person would want a possessive man to be his lover?

"Gege.. Please.."

Jian Kang Lu looked into his kitten's eyes. He took a deep breath once more, and looked at his half eaten pasta. Then he said in a low voice, ashamed with himself.

"I'm sorry TangTang.. I know I was unreasonable. But I can't help but feel jealous."

Bai Yutang dumbfounded. Jealous? Did he hear it correctly? Maybe he needs to ask again so he won't have the wrong impression.

"Gege, I don't understand. What do you mean by jealous?"

Jian Kang Lu noticed his kitten's hands still holding his own, and didn't let him go. It gives some courage to him.

"I'm sorry TangTang.. I just can't help myself not to get jealous with that girl.."

Actually Jian Kang Lu wanted to ask who that girl was. But he held himself. He needs to arrange his words properly, so he won't sound like a crazy person out of his mind.

"Girl? Are you saying that you are jealous? Can you explain to me, Gege? I really don't understand."

To hear his kitten's tone filled with curiosity instead of disgust, braved Jian Kang Lu to explain what's bothering his mind all night.

"I saw you hold that girl. I know, maybe that was unintentional and you must have your reason. But I can't help to feel jealous when you hold a girl that is clearly attracted to you."

Jian Kang Lu saw his kitten's mouth wide open, with astonished phoenix eyes shown on his face. Then he added, "And that girl is also very pretty."

Now it's Bai Yutang's turn to be sour. Why on earth did his lover praise that girl, saying that she was very pretty?

"So, Gege thinks that she was very pretty?" Bai Yutang's voice turned chilly.

Jian Kang Lu suddenly sober, why does it seem he stepped into a dangerous zone again?

"TangTang, no matter how pretty that girl is, you know I won't have any interest with a girl."

Before Jian Kang Lu could finish his sentences, his kitten already cut him out.

"So, if I was with a handsome man, would you be interested in them?"

Jian Kang Lu now really believes that he has already stepped into that dangerous zone.

"No other person will be more handsome than you."

Bai Yutang released his hand and just put it across his chest. He said coldly, "Liar. I know i'm not handsome."

Now Jian Kang Lu really regrets why he has to be jealous. What should he say to ease his kitten's anger?

"TangTang, i'm sorry. Even if you don't believe me, but you truly are the most handsome person in my eyes. And I'm sorry I was jealous of that girl. Can you forgive me? Please?"

Bai Yutang lost his appetite. This was truly the worst dinner he ever had. He just sipped his wine. He doesn't understand why his lover is jealous of that girl, but he understands that he doesn't like that his lover says that girl is pretty. Very pretty.

Jian Kang Lu wanted to reach that hand, but it was so far away. He wants and is willing to go over there and start to beg his kitten, but is his kitten willing to be seen like that in front of other people? Here?

"TangTang.. Please, I know I was wrong. Just, don't be mad."

Bai Yutang still coldly answers, "Why can't I be mad? Gege already shut me up this whole evening."

Jian Kang Lu speechless. "TangTang.."

Bai Yutang hates himself, and is also really mad at his lover right now. He was tired, his schedule packed today. Then he had to receive a cold attitude from his lover on their anniversary. It really annoyed him.

"TangTang.. Please.."

But Bai Yutang also can't bear to look at his lover pleading like this. So he took a deep breath, and tried to ask for his lover's explanation.

"Then please tell me, Gege. Which part makes you jealous? I just met that girl today, and i didn't even think that she was pretty. But it was obvious that you think the opposite."

Jian Kang Lu now really regrets his childish act. So he just answered in a low voice, trying not to anger his furious kitten further.

"I know I was wrong, it was just when I saw you hold that girl.. I can't help myself not to feel jealous. And she also looks very interested in you."

Bai Yutang's voice was still very cold when he said, "I told you that I just met that girl today. She stumbled so I helped to catch her. That's all. And which part makes you think she was interested in me?"

"I just saw that you were walking together with her, seemed to be talking about something, then you held her. And TangTang, even from far away I could see that she was interested in you."

"Gege, you're so faraway. How could you see that she was interested in me? Like you told me, that girl is very pretty. Never in my life have I had a very pretty girl interested in me."

Jian Kang Lu doesn't know why his kitten always thinks that he was not handsome. "Then, can you tell me how you met this girl, and what she talked to you about?"

Bai Yutang told him about Feng Mian, how he met her, and they just walked together to the dorm gate.

"TangTang.. Don't tell me you really didn't know that this girl was interested in you? She starts the conversation first, keeps asking you about yourself, and walks together with you until the gate. You didn't even know why she was heading there."

Bai Yutang also felt that this girl is weird. But he never could think that way. After all, no girl ever pays attention to him.

Jian Kang Lu sighed. He feels so stupid now. His kitten is so pure, how does his kitten know that this girl is really all out, trying to get Bai Yutang's attention? Jian Kang Lu now felt grateful that he could be together with this perfect creature. He had to cherish this treasure so much, instead of acting like a child and throwing a tantrum.

"TangTang, I guarantee that she was interested in you. Just watch, she will show up often in front of you, and ask for your number."

Now Bai Yutang remembers Feng Mian asking for his WeChat ID. Is it really true?

Looking at his kitten's face suddenly changed, Jian Kang Lu was sure that this girl already asked for his kitten's number. He was really afraid if his kitten someday will realise that he was attracted to a woman more than a man.

"TangTang.. Can you promise me something?"

Bai Yutang turned his focus back to the man in front of him. Then he asked, "What promise?"

Bai Yutang saw a pale face, and filled with anxious lines, saying with a small voice.

"Can you promise me, you won't pay any attention to her? And.."

Jian Kang Lu sighed, he wanted to say 'Please don't leave me.' But it did not sound right. So he just finally said, "I just love you so much, TangTang. I don't want to lose you."

Bai Yutang's anger subsided after hearing those words. The words that remind him, that they love each other. He also doesn't want to lose this man.

Bai Yutang remembers Yu Dong and Mu Xiaoya, and their unimportant fights. He can't help to feel silly with this whole situation. It seems, he and his lover also fight because of something that is very silly.

Why on earth do they fight because of a girl that he doesn't even know well?

But maybe Liu Xiang was right, now he knows that his lover is the same as him. Easily jealous because of something insignificant. Now, he feels like he knows another side of Jian Kang Lu that never showed before.

"So, Gege is jealous of that girl?"

Jian Kang Lu nodded.

"Gege was in a bad mood and gave me a cold shoulder because you're jealous?"

Jian Kang Lu weakly nods.

"So gege has to apologise to me, because i really have nothing to do with her, and not interested at all with that girl."

Jian Kang Lu hurriedly said, "I apologise, TangTang.. So, could you forgive me?"

Bai Yutang put off his cold air, and smiled. "Then, where's my gift for today?"