The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Has this ever happened to you? Going somewhere but having no clue about your surroundings. Walking mechanically. Hearing only the sound of your own heartbeats. Having it be fast enough you can almost hear thousand from Moby in the background. But meanwhile all you can think off is …am I gonna die today? I really hope this hallway doesn't end so I can just enjoy walking for a while. Fuck seems we are almost there.

The sectmaster is some bigshot. What if he sees trough me. He's gonna know. I'm no champion. I'm just some normal guy. What do I do. Should I say I'm feeling sick …not champion like. Think. Think. Anything. I can't even keep my head straight. Fuck. I'm toast. Calm down. NO WAY I CAN. Wait. Divine energy. Ouf.

He's expecting a champion. I'll be a fucking champ ! You got this. Yep. Stand straight. Confident smile. Make it a bit mysterious. Mystery is good. I'm the fucking representative of the Lunar goddess herself. That guy ain't shit. No need to talk much. I'm there to dine ? I'll dine. This is no big deal.

****

Somewhere in the god realm a self-entitled goddess is blissfully ignorant that a mortal is using divine energy for a task so mundane as to calm his nerves. All of this started from her casual mistake. Probably a good thing that she isn't omniscient.

**** (POV)

Tonight, I am finally going to meet the Lunar goddess' champion! I am so jealous of such existence. Being able to lay eyes upon the goddess herself is the ultimate honor. Still the timing of the summon is extremely odd. In normal cases there is no way it would happen so fast. Then again, I went myself to the summoning platform and there really are signs of activation.

I need to make a good first impression. Chances are he really is her envoy on earth. My mane of black hair is neatly tied, my nicest ceremonial robe is on. While making my way to the noble personage reception room I revise my preparations. I have acquired a semi-divine wine. The best food is prepared with different kinds of magical beasts' meat. I have even sent my own daughter to attend to all his needs. I am sure everything should be fine. As I take my seat at the head of the table I wait in silence until finally I can see him enter guided by Luna. I promptly stand up.

"Greetings envoy!"

[Yes, sure. You can remain seated. I don't care. So, you are the one handling the Lunar goddess matters here eh.]

"Yes envoy !"

[I'm famished! What's for dinner?]

"As for meat there is some overwolf, earth dragon and fire man-eater-ant. All off the third level. To go with it, some fine wine made with rainbow grapes and honey from annihilation bees. Not only are all these incredibly delicious but also extremely nutritious. Only the best for …"

[Yhea I get it. Lets eat.]

As I sit here watching the champion eat only one word comes to mind. Plain. Why the hell is such an ordinary guy the chosen one ? If anything he reminds me of the villagers I have seen in our territory. Pitiful. Disgusting. Weak. That cannot be …he is the chosen one. But why is he here already?

"Envoy. If I may. The oracle said that …"

[Oh. Are you saying the goddess must inform you of every little decision she makes?]

"I wouldn't dare!"

I almost sinned. No matter who the envoy is or when he comes, I am in no place to question it. I need to change the topic of the conversation.

"Envoy what is your vision of the upcoming god war?"

[HICK. Haha, easy. HICK. Kill them all]

The champion's face is flushed red. His eyes are glossy. Is …. he …. drunk?! It has only been a few minutes. He has only taken a few sips of wine!

"Kill who envoy? And how?"

[HICK. All of them. HICK. The champions. HICK. The gods. HICK. All the gods!]

He is completely wasted. His first glass is not even empty yet.

"Envoy. You misspoke earlier. Killing all the gods would also imply the Lun…"

[HICK. Yes. HICK. Of course. HICK. HICK. I'll keep her as a maid!]

"BLASPHEMY! HOW DARE YOU! "

That wastrel! Let me see you squirm in pain. My spiritual pressure will do short work of a youngling like him. I may not dare kill him, but I will leave him half dead at best and await direct instruction from the goddess. Even if I rough him up a bit it will be good education.

[HICK. That was a joke HICK of course. HICK relax old man HAHA]

He is smiling …..Is he seriously smiling ? The spiritual pressure I am sending is enough to down a rank 2 easily. He does not seem affected in the least. ⊙ _☉

[HICK. This grub is pretty good. HICK.]

I will turn it up a notch. Enough to affect a rank 3! Let me see you smile now!

[HICK. Gotta say. HICK. Vodka is the best. HICK. But this wine is the bomb! HICK]

He is still smiling! What in the Lunar goddess name is he?! Could he be testing me?! That is it! He voluntarily infuriated me! I will sit back down to show that I can remain calm. But I need to leave a lasting impression while I can. FULL POWER! A new rank 4 would be affected by this! I may have no chance of reaching rank 5 but I am one of the strongest rank 4 in existence! This is my power champion! Watch carefully!

[HICK. Good booze and HICK good food. HICK This is life!]

"Sect---sectmaster, could I-I be excused to go freshened up myself?"

"Of-of course"

He is a goddamn monster! 0_0. I have been sending enough spiritual pressure his way to render inoffensive most rank 4. Enough concentrated pressure to even slightly affect a rank 5 if there were any. He is fine. He is smiling. He is eating peacefully. He is drunk. How is this fucking possible?! …..

My daughter just came back. Her nose stopped bleeding. It does not show that she pissed herself either. I must apologize to you later Luna. It is already impressive that only so much happened confronted to the residual of such intense spiritual power.

Yes …. that is only normal. Yet he is fine. He is fucking fine.

[Why aren't you eating anymore Sectmaster ? I personally recommend the overwolf. Quite tender if I must say so. Paired with this delicious wine it is to die for!]

"Ah of cou---"

Why is he not drunk!

"Of course, envoy!"

Ha-ha I knew it. He was testing me all along! HAHA this is great! In the upcoming war there will be a sole victor! The Lunar goddess will rule supreme! The strongest champion of all times! I did not believe his claims. The goddess shocked by his potential! How would that be possible! What if. Just what if. Ha-ha!

"Here envoy ! Let me refill your plate! I must say you are quite right about the overwolf!"

[HICK. So good.]

"It indeed is my lord"

Ha ! The champion is drunk again! This is only possible if …. ah he lowered his alcohol resistance voluntarily! I get it now ! I cannot show disrespect ! *GULP* *GULP*

"A TOAST FOR THE ENVOY!"

"A toast for you my lord!"

[HICK. Banzai!]

"MAY WE BE VICTORIOUS! KILL THEM ALL! ALL THE OTHER GODS!"

"My lord let me pour you another glass!"

[HICK. Drink Drink Drink. Hick]

"TONIGHT, WE DRINK! AND TOMORROW WE …."

[Hick. Drink some more! HICK]

"AND IN THE WAR WE …."

[HICK. Drink some more! HICK.]

"Pff haha. My Lord I think the sectmaster mean't something about defeating our enemies"

[HICK. I see. HICK. Do it again!]

"AND IN THE WAR, WE …."

[HICK. Drink!]

"BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR ENEMIES!? WE CAN'T JUST …"

[HICK. We drink! HICK. Their blood!]

"AH ! TONIGHT, WE DRINK AND TOMOROW WE DRINK SOME MORE AND IN THE WAR, WE DRINK THEIR BLOOD!"

[HICK Drink! HICK Drink some more! HICK Drink their blood!]

"HAHAHAHAHAHA"

[HICK. HAHAHAHA HICK]

"My lord ...Sectmaster...…"

This feast was a success! The champion is strong! He is wise! I may not have given the best first impression, but I think he forgave me for my outburst. The Lunar goddess sure found an interesting champion !

****

And I'm back to my bed. I got myself a nice body pillow. Not sure when but whatever. This is bliss. So comfortable. This bed is so warm. The end of the night is a bit fuzzy, but I feel I did well. The wine was a bit stronger than expected. My drunk ass made a joke about the goddess. The old dude got quite worked up, but he went quiet when he realized I was joking. Think he was trembling a bit. But I didn't embarrass him. It's fine if a joke passes over your head from time to time old dude don't worry. I guess we became drinking buddies. At some point I became way too drunk to drink anymore. But I'm smart! I used some divine power so I could drink some more !

I don't actually remember even leaving, but we were having fun so whatever.

He's a warm dude once you get to know him. Might be a bit too much of a warmonger.

"Rest well my Lord tomorrow we will start the training"

My body pillow just spoke. What. Oh, it's Luna. Explains the warmth. Wait training? Something tells me I won't like that.

FUCK ME.