The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

An especially cheerful Luna wakes me up, stuffs me with some unknown beast meat and brings me in a hurry to a small courtyard. It is officially day 3 of my adventure! On day 1 I got brutalized. On day 2 I got Hella drunk and got a …maid? ….and a drinking buddy.

There are a few people there. And a giant. In front of me stands a boulder of a man. He is bare chested, and I swear his pecs are mighty impressive. He gives off a wild vibe. Bald. Tall. Muscular. In his thirties? One of his eye sockets is completely empty. He has scars all over.

"My Lord. This man will be your combat instructor from now on."

He's looking….is he leering at me? In any case I'm not too sure I'm comfortable with that bodybuilder dude. (ʘ ᗩʘ') They say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Maybe that applies to bodybuilders too. For all I know he might be a 12-year-old teenager and I'm here for some ripple training. Luna casts me an encouraging glance. Okay this somehow helps.

The bodybuilder dude is gesturing me to …go ahead? What am I supposed to do exactly? What is he waiting for? Okay he seems annoyed now. He's coming closer. I see a flash…CRACK. OUCH ! WTF WAS THAT?! Turns out it's the sound my shoulder makes when it is broken and that was his fist.

*THUD* *WOOOOO*

There is a flash of light. Now I feel better. Shoulder is alright. WOW Healing magic? Right there are other people in the room. Four of them. Guess they are healers. Robe. No full moon clothing. I guess the people in the room are all around rank 2. Well beside me anyway.

Time to get up. Okay let's give it another try. You can do this …just need to…. CRACK OUCH! Fuck, it hurts.

*WOOOOO* CRACK OUCH! How the fuck is he so fast!

*WOOOOO* CRACK OUCH! That's it I'm gonna use….

*WOOOO* CRACK CRACK MOTHERFUCKER!

*WOOO* CRACK CRACK FUCKING SHIT!

*WOO* CRACK CRACK CRACK FUCKING STOP HEALING ME MOTHERFUCKERS!

*WO*

How the fuck are these guys so fucking good at this shit! One breaks my body the others heal it! Fuck let me get my fucking bearings! I already tried to use divine energy a few lines ago. Just let me! That's fucking cheating! FUCK. Wait …are we done? Apparently, the healers are tired. Guess they'll switch them out? Or are we done for the day? Oh, I fucking hope! Enough physical violence already.

"My Lord we'll get new healers and…."

"No need. He has no talent. Bring him to Grey."

Even his voice fits his image. It sounds like he's growling. How is that possible? I don't fucking know. And he's gone. Luna smiles apologetically and we are going on an adventure again! I really hope it isn't a repeat of what just happened. Either that was the general combat instructor …or they have specialized ones for each weapon too. I fucking swear if I enter the next room and there is a dude with a sword I am running away.

****

And we are in another inner courtyard. How many of these are there. I'll really need to amend the mental image I have of this place. This ain't your basic castle anymore. And there is a middle-aged man sitting on a bench.

Orange hair. Long and loose. Kind face. Small smile. Eyes closed. Seems to be meditating. He's wearing a robe. A robe with a full moon. Fuck I gotta be careful. Then again, I might be worrying for nothing. The sectmaster didn't expose me and he's a level higher. Somehow, he seems different from that guard I met at day 1.

"What is it young one. You seem surprised by my appearance"

He's chuckling a bit. Can he read minds?!

"Is it the full moon on my chest?"

He can fucking read my mind!

"Haha. Do not worry for I cannot read minds. Well not of the livings in any case"

He just did twice!

"This one is Grey. A mage here. For one to be a mage it requires some degree of sensitivity you see. I should say you are definitely too easy to read young friend. Well in any case, about the full moon. The one you met was a fake. The full moon he earned was from bringing a precious resource to the sect. If anything, he was lucky. At best, a glorified second rank.

The sacred ground where the champion is summoned was under his charge temporarily because we knew it would be empty …. or at least we thought. It did lead to your unfortunate first day here."

Hum. Why is he called grey if his hair is orange? Would it be impolite to ask?

"Haha. They call me Grey for the state I leave my enemies in. In some towns the name Grey the Necromancer is used to scare the unruly children." ;)

Okay. Slightly scary. But cool as fuck nickname. Plus, he's fully clothed. That is definitely a plus in my book. He doesn't have a red room, right?

"Here. Grab this."

Some sort of white crystal. What is that supposed to….

"A light crystal. More accurately a shard of a light crystal. Since you have no talent for martial arts chances are your talent lies in magic. The goddess did not tell you anyway to …. I will take that as a no. Your task will be to try and sense the energy inside it. The Lunar faction is mostly comprised of Light and darkness mages, so we will start with those elements, then switch. Hopefully, we will find the element that suits you."

Soooo I just stand here in the sun and try to sense the thing in my hand? Should be pretty easy since I managed to get the feel of divine energy the first time, I saw it. Piece of fucking cake! Let me see. In this little crystal there is ….no energy. I swear it's empty.

"Keep going. You should keep trying for the rest of the day."

So, he says. Guess I'll be here for a while. Better sit ….

"Young one you see this is a mage courtyard. This bench is a bench for mages only I am afraid"

He is smirking! This Grey is smug as fuck! Well, whatever. I'll just sit on the ground.

Feel. Concentrate. Grasp an invisible power. Concentrate. Feel. Grasp a formless power…

It's not fucking working!

Feel. Concentrate. Grasp a weightless power. Concentrate. Feel. Grasp a formless power…

Hum. Luna is still here. She's smiling at me. Damn, she's an angel.

Feel. Concentrate. Grasp a boundless power. Concentrate. Feel. Grasp a familiar power…

What the fuck. I swear it worked in chapter 1! Or was it chapter 2?

Guess I have no affinity to the light element. So yeah …I'm done.

Screw that shit. Well. Luna and the smiling guy want me to keep going at it. I'll just fake it. Now I finally understand why some ladies do so in the bedroom. Oof.

Best way to fake something is to get busy for real. So! While I won't be training this bullshit, light magic I'll voluntarily train my divine magic.

Time to feel the divine energy in the world and...HOLY FUCKING SHIT

THERE IS NONE ! THAT WAS MY ONLY CHEAT ! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DIVINE ENERGY !