This Clueless Hero

As I stared at the bloody arm in my hand...

A strong sense of vertigo assaulted me.

There was too much blood.

Too much blood...

My breathing became ragged while my stomach churned disgustingly. I hurriedly threw the arm away, while I myself vomited on the floor.

In a certain sense, my situation was like a kid that had eaten far too many chocolates, till the point they tasted disgusting.

Yet, that kid kept eating them.

I kept vomiting everything within my stomach.

Even when there was nothing left, I continued to retch, as though there was still some sort of poison within me that I was still trying to get rid of.

Drool dripped down from the corner of my mouth.

I was so dizzy.

...Oh god.

I... I need to get out of here.

I took a step away, but suddenly remembered something.

The money...

I couldn't abandon it.

There's no way I could possibly do that.

And so, I scrounged the ground with my blurry vision, wading through blood and vomit to get all of the coins.

I opened the two boy's pockets and took back all of the coins with me. After gathering what I thought was all of it, my vision had cleared up a little.

Thankfully, I found the silver coin and began counting the copper coins.

Ten...

Fourty...

Ninety...

Ninety-nine...

The last one wasn't there.

Although it could've been an error in counting, I made sure to go through it slowly, so it probably wasn't that. I searched the ground some more, while the corner of my vision caught onto two guards far off in the distance.

I anxiously continued searching for the copper, desperately praying that it would eventually turn up.

At some point, I could make out a yell from the guards.

"Stop right there!"

My hands that were already covered in blood and vomit, trembled even faster. The anxiety was really getting to me.

Then...

My fingers brushed over the copper coin.

After putting it away, I immediately bolted into the nearest alleyway there was. I felt like a mess from all the blood and vomit over my clothes, but my anxiety let me ignore it for now.

I continued running through alleyways, one after another.

After taking a right, I suddenly saw the glare of the sun, realizing that way led back to the street. Without a second thought, I turned around to go back into the alley.

...It was like a maze.

I had no idea where I was going, arbitrarily taking paths one after another, desperately hoping that things would work out somehow.

The glare of the sun shone on my face several more times, telling me that it was the exit of the alleyway. I ran back into the alleyway each time I saw the light.

It was...

Ironic.

I was in a maze with countless exits, but instead of taking any of them, I decided to continue to send myself back in. Because the purpose of the maze, to me, wasn't to escape.

But to hide.

Hide from everything.

Eventually, I couldn't take running anymore. My legs wobbled uncontrollably before giving out. I fell to my knees.

I pressed one hand against a wall and hung my head low.

My breathing was ragged, while my vision was blurry.

I... I must've gotten away by now, right?

As I slowly caught my breath, my mind couldn't help but think about everything that happened.

What would've happened to me if I was caught?

Would I even be able to keep my life?

...What would the others think of me?

This... this wasn't my first time killing someone. I had killed those slave traders before.

But this was different.

...Far too different.

Would Ned still think I was worth talking to?

Would Erin still help me up when I fell?

Would Alyx still be her true self next to me?

...Would Mildred still comfort me?

I-I had to get away.

If I messed up things now, everything would be ruined. I would have to start all over again.

All the money I worked for would amount to nothing if...

"Are you ok?"

A childish voice rang out next to me.

I slowly turned my head to the side to find a little girl.

The little girl had short brown hair and bright blue eyes. She was wearing rags, clearly showing she lived in poverty.

Yet, there was a strong innocent aura from this little girl. Almost like a light that shined brightly despite the overwhelming darkness that tried to swallow it.

The little girl tilted her head to the side.

"What are you doing here?"

She obliviously walked forwards, like it was completely natural that somebody would be covered in blood within an alleyway.

"Stop!"

I raised one of my hands in the air, prompting her to freeze up.

The little girl raised her hands in the air.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you! Show me where you are hurt, I can help you!"

This... this girl.

If she reported me, wouldn't that mean everyone would know what I did?

This girl.

She saw me.

She knows what I did.

She was going to tell everyone.

...Unless the girl couldn't say anything in the first place.

An ominous gleam passed by my eyes.

What if... I killed her?

Then it would all be fine.

Nobody would have to know.

Everything could go on as normal.

My eyes slowly widened while I slowly stood up.

The little girl gasped.

"Ah, you shouldn't force yourself to walk if you can't!"

She rushed over to me and pressed on my stomach, trying to hold me up. The girl got blood and vomit over her hands, but she didn't seem to care.

I... I had to kill her.

My breathing became ragged once more.

There was no other choice.

I raised my bloodied hand.

It just... just had to happen for me to continue.

I slowly reached for the girl.

If my peaceful life were to continue... she would have to die. It wasn't a big deal, I already killed multiple people, and countless in that vision.

It should be so easy.

So, so easy.

...So why couldn't I move my hand forward?

The little girl blinked curiously, before reaching for my hand, and holding onto it. A bright smile formed on her face.

"Come on, you need a place to rest if you want to recover from your wounds!"

Unknowingly, tears began to fall from my face.

I... what type of person was I becoming?

This little girl...

Her light brown hair and bright blue eyes were just like Mildred's. The person who comforted me through everything.

Her stature was the same as Erin's, probably a really similar age too. The person who caught me when I was falling off the stairs.

I guess in the end, it was all just too hard for me.

My cruelty wasn't enough for me to kill anyone that stood in my way.

...Maybe it's not too big of a deal to start over once more.

I just couldn't make myself do it.

The little girl saw my tears and panicked.

"Oh no! Does it hurt too much? Stay strong and follow me!"

I slowly opened my mouth.

"...Alrigh-"

"Stop right there!"

Two guards suddenly appeared behind me. I flinched in fear.

...How did this happen?

I ran for so long, yet they traced my path all the way here?

The guards were clad in iron armor, covering every single part of their bodies. There was only a small slit for their eyes.

One of the guards began panting and put his hands on his knees.

"Thank god... we just had to follow... the trail of blood."

A chill assaulted my body, as though I was suddenly dipped into a pool of freezing water. How did that fact slip by me?

The other guard turned to look at his companion.

"This is not the time to be resting! Look at what happened to you after skipping so much training."

The panting guard nodded.

"Alright, alright. Before you berate me anymore, we have to apprehend the criminal!"

The guards unsheathed their swords and pointed them at me.

I slowly closed my eyes.

...Perhaps this was a fitting end. After all, I've just become a mess, both on the outside and the inside.

Next time I will just...

"What are you doing!"

The little girl ran between me and the guards, spreading her arms out wide.

The guards paused. Although their faces were covered, they were still clearly confused.

"Get out of the way, child!"

"There's a killer behind you!"

The little girl leaned forward, despite the swords not too far away from her.

"He's clearly just hurt! Whoever this killer is, probably hurt him!"

She had a childish voice and was so small, yet held an overbearing momentum.

A warm feeling swept past my body, as though I was covered with a soft blanket.

I stared at the little girl's back.

....Maybe I was wrong all this time.